marriage. what do i do URGENT

[fatma93]

salam everyone.

im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so  upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope.

thanks in advance everyone x 

[megaman]

Maybe have his parents talk to your parents.

[AmirAlmuminin Lover]

Salaam Alaykum

May Allah help you in your marriage. I think you need to talk with your brother, mother, and sister more. Try to convince them to talk with your dad. At the same time, tell the guy and convince him that his parents are willing to speak with your family. Make everything formal. Tell the guy that you want his family to speak with your family. You can also tell him to come to your house with his family.

You can also speak to the Shaykh of your mosque to talk with your dad, but I recommend to do your best by doing the first suggesstion (above paragraph). If it didn't work, you can talk with the Shaykh of your mosque about this issue to talk with your dad.

Edited June 17, 2018 by AmirAlmuminin Lover

[AbdusSibtayn]

On 6/17/2018 at 11:23 AM, fatma93 said:

i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi

First grade nonsense. And this nonsense from our elders. Then, these uncles and aunts have the temerity to say, "Ohhh, our youth are becoming so irreligious these days....!"
Shows just how far we have left behind the tribalism of the jahiliyyah. Imam az-Zaman (ajtf) has a tough time ahead of him.

[Abu Nur]

Quote

Then, these uncles and aunts have the temerity to say, "Ohhh, our youth are becoming so irreligious these days....!"

They (uncles and aunts) are actually becoming irreligious when they entered these western countries, the youth are irreligious because no one of their parents teaches them about religion, the wordily life drowned them very deeply.

[Ron_Burgundy]

On 6/17/2018 at 1:53 AM, fatma93 said:

salam everyone.

im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so  upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope.

thanks in advance everyone x 

Didn't you ask the same question a few days ago?

[fatma93]

@Ron_Burgundy 

no i didn't, think you got the wrong person

[3wliya_maryam]

On 6/17/2018 at 1:53 PM, fatma93 said:

salam everyone.

im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so  upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope.

thanks in advance everyone x 

Salam

If it's meant to be it'll be

You should pray istikhara or read dua tawassul

Honestly it really annoys me when I hear how some parents don't let their children marry from different ethnicity even though they were born and raised as good Muslims.

Keep making duaa and leave everything to Allah

fee amanillah