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In the Name of God بسم الله
AStruggler

I Need Advice in Brutal Battle Against Self

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Guest silasun

Ayatollah Bahjat recommended to pray on time and focus on repelling shaitan before prayer. This will help avoid sins.

Try to focus on avoiding sin. You will get there in the end. It might take around a year to stay away from all the sins, but you will get there (so I have heard from an akhlaq teacher).

Also, why did you tag me? I don't really know anything about practicing taqwa and am really concerned for myself... especially after a weak month of ramadan. I don't know anything about benefits of prayer in avoiding bad actions, but that's what I've heard. If you succeed iA, pray that God pulls me up somehow :(.

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You have to pay attention to your thoughts that is how shaytan tries to control us, he targets weak moments in life - for example you say you feel a kind of despair after committing the bad act , that is Shaitan whispering to you inciting you toward that thought . Instead take a time out gather your thoughts have a conversation with yourself regroup and come back freshened , if you don't tackle these thoughts then he's won. Also remember Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى constantly everything you do should be geared towards Him.

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Wassalamu Aleykum brother or sister,

All the advice here has been fantastic. But I must disagree with one thing, and I don't want to start any fights. I would just feel totally remiss to omit this: You can find better guides than Khomeini, as that man brought hardship and misery to many including me and my entire family. I am not offering a debate, but actual historical fact. Wa Allahu Alam. Wassalamu Alaikum.

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3 hours ago, abdulhamid said:

But I must disagree with one thing, and I don't want to start any fights. I would just feel totally remiss to omit this: You can find better guides than Khomeini,

I do think you wanna fight. I'm not gonna fall for it. May Allah forgive you, for whatever your intention was. :)

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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57 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I do think you wanna fight. I'm not gonna fall for it. May Allah forgive you, for whatever your intention was. :)

Thank you brother. Insha'Allah. And may Allah forgive you for your judgement of me and calling me a liar. :)

Edited by abdulhamid

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4 hours ago, abdulhamid said:

Wassalamu Aleykum brother or sister,

All the advice here has been fantastic. But I must disagree with one thing, and I don't want to start any fights. I would just feel totally remiss to omit this: You can find better guides than Khomeini, as that man brought hardship and misery to many including me and my entire family. I am not offering a debate, but actual historical fact. Wa Allahu Alam. Wassalamu Alaikum.

What misery? Can I know?

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On 6/14/2018 at 1:34 PM, shadow_of_light said:

What misery? Can I know?

Salaam, sister/brother,

Nah, not worth it, sorry. You can take my word for it, or not. I will complain bitterly of him on the day of judgement. Until then I just want the original poster to consider other sources of information. Regarding the battle against the nafs, there are of course many.

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I used to think that not committing sins is very easy but one of my cousins who is a very pious girl told me that if someone completely follows the right path and not commit any sin (even those sins which seem unimportant), then he will reach a stage where he can know and see what ordinary people cannot and many things will become clear for him.

But there are evil creatures which dont want people to reach this stage so they begin to interfere and create obstacles.

So after a while, it will become very difficult for you to continue but if you pass this stage, you will reach peace.

She said that saying prayers on time is too important. You must also avoid any kind of sin specially those which are related to "hagh-al nas" (like listening to gheiba,...).

Edited by shadow_of_light

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Thanks for all the lovely advice everyone, iA I put it into practice successfully.  

On 6/14/2018 at 8:48 AM, abdulhamid said:

Wassalamu Aleykum brother or sister,

All the advice here has been fantastic. But I must disagree with one thing, and I don't want to start any fights. I would just feel totally remiss to omit this: You can find better guides than Khomeini, as that man brought hardship and misery to many including me and my entire family. I am not offering a debate, but actual historical fact. Wa Allahu Alam. Wassalamu Alaikum.

Let's not speak negatively of any believer please. 

On 6/14/2018 at 6:07 AM, starlight said:

You might want to read the books The kernels of kernels which is available online

I found the book on al-islam.org but it's also on amazon for like $20. So the one on Al-islam.org is the full book right?

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On 6/14/2018 at 5:06 AM, silasun said:

Also, why did you tag me? I don't really know anything about practicing taqwa and am really concerned for myself... especially after a weak month of ramadan. I don't know anything about benefits of prayer in avoiding bad actions, but that's what I've heard. If you succeed iA, pray that God pulls me up somehow :(.

iA you reach the stations you desire as well. As the brother mentioned above:

On 6/14/2018 at 3:07 AM, AbdusSibtayn said:

Don't give up brother. Just don't give up. This is exactly what Shaytan (la) wants- too make you feel sick and hypocritical, and to cut  you off from spirituality.

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19 minutes ago, AStruggler said:

I found the book on al-islam.org but it's also on amazon for like $20. So the one on Al-islam.org is the full book right?

Yes, its the full book. After you are done  reading the book you might want to read this

Don't buy the book. It's a small book.you can easily read it online. 

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4 hours ago, abdulhamid said:

And may Allah forgive you for your judgement of me and calling me a liar. 

I never called you a liar, I just felt that your statement would lead to a fight. That why I said "whatever your intention was" . Anyway, lets not talk bad about a fellow believer or let any personal grudges out. The OP is considering many other sources, he doesn't need someone to "warn him". Again, sorry for judging your intention. However your statement was very irrelevant and uncalled for.

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Can we please focus on the topic instead of bringing in petty pillow- fights? If you have reservations, either pm them to the individual concerned or stay quiet, and don't derail the thread.

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OP (Astruggler),

First things first, your screen name comes off to me as a positive thing. Struggling in the cause of good is virtuous and even though it causes your mind distress when you fail, the fact that you recognize that and carry on in the cause of good, is to your credit as a human being and gives you both temporal/eternal..(?).. "points" for lack of a better term at the moment. 

I don't have much advice to give you because I am in a similar season myself. I can tell you that your honesty has brought my trials to the front of my mind yet again, where they should remain yet always magically get stuffed down in the exhausting bustle of the day to day. I'd see that alone as being a positive for you, and it's important to weigh your successes with your failures so that you can have a better picture of where you need to "build spiritual muscle" in order to be victorious the next time you enter a moment of sin.

I'd like to add a disclaimer that this advice should  be taken with an entire block of salt because I don't have my life together in the slightest.

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On 6/14/2018 at 1:59 AM, AStruggler said:

Salaam Momineen, 

So I'm sure many of us have gone through or are going through the cycle I'm about to describe:

So there are these phases we go through in our lives, after maybe listening to some great speeches, doing some special amaal, attending certain spiritually motivating religious programs, attending mosque/Islamic center programs of the special religious days of the year, and maybe even by seeing others who appear to be all religoius. So what happens after experiencing the previously mentioned things is that we develop this strong spiritual energy or spiritual determination to make a significant difference in our life. We feel greatly motivated to get closer to god and abstain from any trace of sin. We feel like we're starting to tread the path of righteousness and spirituality. We might even start an internet binge where we constantly search up the lives and stories of past spiritual greats such as Imam Khomeini or Ayatollah Bahjat, lol we may even start watching their documentaries on YouTube. We start walking around and acting piously, maybe we even start doing a bit of tabligh...

HOWEVER!, things finally take a turn and get UGLY! Something goes wrong, we get triggered, we lose patience, we get pissed off by someone or some occurrence, and then we commit some ugly act, OR a series of ugly acts. Maybe we get into a petty fight with a sibling or someone and then end up committing some bad acts, or in other words SINS. Moments later we start feeling like trash (using this word to avoid using worse words). We start feeling like "Wow, that was it, all that religiousness for this, everything just went down the drain...Like yesterday I'm watching documentaries on the life of Ayatollah Bahjat and then here I am today committing CHEAP and PETTY SINS". For me personally, I always get taken down due to the lack of self-control, I get pissed off by someone, or something just doesn't go my way, and then I end up committing a SERIES of pretty ugly acts/sins. The guilt then starts eating you away, you start feeling worse about your situation. You feel deeply regretful and saddened but then be careful/cautious and remember that to despair of god's mercy is a huge sin. You remind yourself that god is all merciful and so he will forgive you....So, finally, after this contemplation, finally, you feel ready to repent, you start doing tawba and then repent, trying your best to make it a sincere and full quality repentance....And then you start fresh again...

And then slowly and gradually you start getting back into the earlier mentioned phase, you start re-developing that "spiritual high", but then for me personally, something goes wrong again maybe after like a few days, a week, or like ten days, and then you repent and then you go back to square one and then....Basically, the cycle repeats...You act good, you do bad, you repent, you act good, you do bad, you repent.........

I feel that this cycle has been occurring for the past really long time for me and I'm not sure if I'm making any extraordinary spiritual progress. I know that yes, we aren't masoom so we commit sin but I heard that when a person's level increases his tests get more severe. His tests/challenges change. Sadly I feel that I've been struggling with the same old challenges and falling for the same old petty sins, I always end up making the same kinda mistakes upon encountering those "spiritually dangerous" situations for me (usually has to do with lack of self control, anger, and impatience...). It's been months now of the same stuggle...

So the reason that I write this post today is that throughout the holy month of Ramdhan I feel that I was going pretty good aH, I was pretty decent in terms of not making the same petty mistakes. However, TODAY, just when this holy month is about to end, I FAILED MISERABLY. Things went down and my behavior turned ugly real quick. My mess-up was really bad today sadly....So now I have re-entered the same cycle as I described earlier.

My question is, how do I finally succeed and not just feel but KNOW that I'm making the spiritual gainz that I haven't ever made before?

Is there any good and detailed book regarding this matter that I can read and benefit from, that takes you through a systematized process and guides you in cleansing your soul and overcoming spiritual obstacles, a book that guides you in spiritually beautifying yourself step by step? I really want to reach those great spiritual heights but with whatever I'm doing right now I keep going up and down and up and then down this "ladder"...How do I keep going up and develop some kind of progressive spiritual consistency and not just fluctuate around the same level....?

Any quality advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. I really wanna hear peoples thoughts on this...

Thank you in Advance.

@Sumerian @ali_fatheroforphans @silasun @Ashvazdanghe @.InshAllah. @Ibn al-Hussain

Salamun alaykum,

This description is that of the nafs-lawwamah (the self-accusing soul).  It is better than being at a purely nafs-al ammara (impulsive soul).  What you should be asking now is how do you get to nafs-al-mutmainnah (how does your soul become tranquil or at peace)?  This stage has many qualifications to even begin “tasting” this stage. 

More to come.

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What is Islam solution to suffering ? Sayed Hasan Al Sadr | The struggle Whitin 

https://youtu.be/ZuszmLYuNuU

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