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In the Name of God بسم الله

What made you laugh today?

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The Media bums.

:shock: "Trump deducted $70,000 in hair-styling related to his "The Apprentice" TV show" from his taxes. [According to the New York Times.]

There were 192 Episodes of "The Apprentice" which makes that $70k out to be ~$365 for each hair-styling.

Yet, in 1981 dollars that makes it about $36.oo  -which is when CBS News anchor Dan Rather was getting a  $50.oo per week haircut.

COMMENT: There are factoids and then there are factvoids --those out-of-context, out-of-comparative examples.

 

 

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My family. when i wake up and look at my wife and daughter sleeping it puts a smile on my face. 

Today  I was reading this book title  “How to not hate your husband after kids” this made me laugh 

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An lrish judge has ruled that the bread in Subway sandwich shops is not really bread. lt has too much sugar in it to be a bread. lt is now a pastry. Therefore, Subway "pastry" will be now be taxed at the higher pastry tax rate. 

l guess the store name will have to change to "Subway Pastewich" shop.

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Found in old stuff: this Farm Journal supplementary booklet entitled "Slick Tricks"; which from some research l found to be trademark-filed 1962.

On page 17 we read:

"My corner sink has no pleasant view to look at while l wash dishes; so l pin up a pretty landscape and change it occasionally. Sometimes l add a poem that appeals to me, and soon l've learned it by heart.'     .   Mrs. Daisy J. Clay, Wisconsin

 

LAUGH POINT:  What is that 'horrible' corner sink for? Taking in a view or washing a few dishes?

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This feature on TV about Soap Operas.

Well according to the presentation, those "steamy" kissing scenes now have mannequins as stand ins. lt's a COVID thing.

:rolleyes:

Those mannequins are made of epoxy and sometimes with fiberglass blended in. So, it will take some really hot, dry-steam to get to 2000+ degrees to melt the fiberglass.

However . . . AND you knew there will be a 'however' with Hasan the Horrible writing this . . . that epoxy can be dissolved by the ethanol in their drinks.

l guess they will have to re-characterize those romance scenes as 'heart melters.'

Edited by hasanhh
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Today I received my electric can opener from Amazon

It worked!

Reminded me of all those times I broke can openers trying to open a can. I swear I am like jinxed with manual can openers, they break everytime or maybe I just love using those cheap ones.

But anyway, the success of just pressing a button and having my can opened made me laugh with delight.

It's the small things in life that bring the most joy I guess.

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The Media

During the VP debate last night, a fly lit on VP Pence's head "and stayed there several minutes."

0f course, the cameras zoomed in for the belittlement.

OBSERVATION: Can't these media bums recognize an entomological blessing when they see one?

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The SUV ahead of me.

This SUV on the road ahead of me has in its rear window a decal of Trump; and attached to the wiper was the picture of an arm and hand.

The wiper must have been reset to run automatically because about every 4-5 seconds it waved to me.

Ain't America great?

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:cry: "l do not have to exaggerate this."

l am in some kind of laughing-delirium because l am so frustrated.

l decided to change TV channels. Julia Child rerun on one, The British Bake-off on two others, a daytime show in its recipe segment, another dumb dog special, New England cooking show,  how the food is cooked in some l-ain't interested-in-going travel show, . . .

Finally, l find a farm program. This program is on the potatoe industry.

So what happens? A cooking segment and the subject is potatoe waffles.

Ah Hell, l might as well suffer through this so l don't miss the next segment on machinery.

So this dopey dame starts lecturing . . . chop this, slice that, clean your potatoes and peel then slice, add this, add that, basil, chimes, and other stuff; pour on some oil, add two tablespoons of flour so it all holds together. Dump into a cloth and twist squeeze to get as much water as you can out. [[Comment: instead of the sink she squeezes it into a strainer sitting on a bowl --two more dang things to wash.]]  Empty all these tortured vegetables into another bowl and add eggs. Mash it all up together. Pre-heat your waffle iron. Spray in some of that overpriced non-stuck spray. Spoon in and close lid. Let cook. Remove from waffle iron and add this, chop this for topping, sprinkle on whatever [[At this point l notice this big black refrigerator-looking thing in the background. This must be her super-secret transporter door to warp to the supermarket and back -to waste money on all this cwap.]] Then she yaps about serving size, number of eaters and . . . 

l could starve in this amount of time.

No wait, l could fry a hamburger and melt cheese.

Now the real programming comes back on. For about one minute.

:braveheart: Where are you?

 

Edited by hasanhh
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Our National Nutcase: Nanny Pelosing

She wants a permanent commission the continually evaluate the 'fitness' and health of Presidents to actively hold their office.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/elanagross/2020/10/09/pelosi-announces-bill-to-create-25th-amendment-commission-to-ok-a-presidents-capacity-to-serve/#7b916c187208

 

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DeutscheWelle again in its ln Good Shape program.

You cannot lose stomach fat unless you lose all your excess fat.

The easiest exercise to lose body fat is done in the following way.

Sit up straight.

Turn your chin over to your left shoulder.

Then turn your chin over your right shoulder.

Repeat five or more times . . .

when you see a pizza or sugary cake in front of you.

 

COMMENT: l believe he would have included chocolate if he knew muslimas were to read this re-cap.  :grin:

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This partly true.

My ex, the one who thought  401k  was some kind of race, was mad at me because l would not go shopping with her.

[Aside: Why would any gurl think some guy wants to shop?]

So she took the TV Remote with her.

Now l grew up in the 50s. TV remotes came out in the 60s -which people laughed at because "who is so lazy they cannot get up and change the channel?"

So, l'd go change the channel by the knob on the TV set.

When she came home, she couldn't understand why l was not upset.

She waited two years before she asked me about it.

Then she was mad. . . 

. . . as was the usual case.

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13 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

This partly true.

My ex, the one who thought  401k  was some kind of race, was mad at me because l would not go shopping with her.

[Aside: Why would any gurl think some guy wants to shop?]

So she took the TV Remote with her.

Now l grew up in the 50s. TV remotes came out in the 60s -which people laughed at because "who is so lazy they cannot get up and change the channel?"

So, l'd go change the channel by the knob on the TV set.

When she came home, she couldn't understand why l was not upset.

She waited two years before she asked me about it.

Then she was mad. . . 

. . . as was the usual case.

Why would you go shopping with an ex or have contact anyway?

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1 minute ago, hasanhh said:

Back when we were marred.

To an Amerikan, this would be understood in the past tense.

Perhaps writing that it's a past story next time would give the indication it's from the past marital era of your life.

One can think "was" referred to yesterday or the day before.

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We were at work today and these Mexican electricians were blasting this strange type of music I had never heard before and it all sounded the same, and my buddy said "What in the heck is this funhouse clown music? It sounds like something off of Pee-Wee's Playhouse" and that had me laughing pretty hard.

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From an old newspaper:

Where: The White House

When:   The Day After lnauguration, 2017

Who:    The Spooks

What:   "Mr. President, the ClA believes the Democrats have been stockpiling P.M.D.s for the last two months."

How:  "P.M.D.s ?"

Why:   "Politics of Mass Destruction"

 

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