What made you laugh today?

[ShiaMan14]

[hasanhh]

"God" fills a helicopter and pastor returns to continue with Devil Speak.  "Sometimes, you can only laugh at hezshatan."

https://www.christianpost.com/news/pastor-robert-morris-returns-to-pulpit-after-near-death-experience-details-encounter-with-god-224623/ 

[ali_fatheroforphans]

15 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

"God" fills a helicopter and pastor returns to continue with Devil Speak.  "Sometimes, you can only laugh at hezshatan."

https://www.christianpost.com/news/pastor-robert-morris-returns-to-pulpit-after-near-death-experience-details-encounter-with-god-224623/ 

When people can't offer rationality that is when they go to "near death experiences".

[hasanhh]

4 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

When people can't offer rationality that is when they go to "near death experiences".

l never thought of this sentence before, but,

lf people were "rational", using their reasoning skills, then as reveal in Ayats 2:164 and 242 and 3:118, then they'd all be believers.

Thanks for the prompt, bro.

Edited June 12, 2018 by hasanhh

[hasanhh]

28Ramadhan39

What made me "laugh" today? Does "cringe" count?

That weatherman. "Tomorrow we will have popcorn showers."

 "What are 'popcorn showers'?"

lf you have heard "popcorn showers" before, please click the "Angry".

Such butchery of the English language.

[hasanhh]

This is not a gag:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/kim-jong-un-more-popular-than-pelosi-among-republicans-exclusive-poll-results 

[Laayla]

My son saying during the Tunisia vs England match

Behaq Mohammad wa ahli Mohammad let Tunis win.

Of course they lost.  He didn't wrap it with a salawat.

M3 Salamah, Fe Amin Allah 

[DarConall]

Yesterday I cut my own hair.

It used to be around 2-3 cm at the back and the sides, and I meant to just trim it down slightly. Somehow I managed to get it down to around ~3mm on the sides and back without even realising it. It looks extremely uneven as the length is all over the place. Basically a total disaster. I'm too embarrassed to visit the barber, or go out without a hat. 

Just the day before I'd noticed a guy with similarly trimmed hair on the sides and the back, and around 3-6 cm on the top. I had prejudice in my mind, although I did not speak ill about this person,  or even mention him for that matter. It was just a thought that passed through my mind, but it shouldn't have.

And so you see how the thing I judged a person for suddenly happened to me, by my own hands. 

Well OK, I did not really laugh (my mother and sister already did that for me) but I did smile. God still cares enough about me to warn me sometimes. 

Edited June 19, 2018 by DarConall

[hasanhh]

Today, 21June18 is the lnternationaI Day of YOGA

YOGA is the acronym for "Yikes . . . Oh god . . . Ahhhhhhhh"

[hasanhh]

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/billboard-texas-advice-liberals-keep-driving-leave-lone-star-state-222028280.html 

[110_Fatima]

Part of me wants to go all early 2000's myspace personality and be all edgy and say 'Nothing. Everything is too dark. O woe is me!" 

[hasanhh]

Preface: commentary in Judeo-Chr!stian idiom

TV Announcer:   "Now, in blasphemous, Graven lmage, . . .

'god' walks through cloud !

https://metro.co.uk/2018/07/03/moment-god-walks-cloud-7678766/ 

 

 "Hey,  , it is an upper level vortex . . . if you know your meteorology."

Oh, Well, Alabama is part of the babble belt .

[shadow_of_light]

https://www.aparat.com/v/xhVOU#theEnd

Quadruplets

[hasanhh]

Anti-Trump  NUTcases   

https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/04/us/new-york-statue-of-liberty-protest/index.html 

 

Edited July 4, 2018 by hasanhh

[hasanhh]

My little nephew.

Again.

So l needed to go over to little sister's.  Of course, he is the first one to the door.

Salams, he has a fresh haircut, his eyes the size of quarters. He hadn't seen me in two months.

They asked me to sit and eat. He is running around pointing at stuff telling me the names of things in arabie, then stops and starts doing these in English.

So l sit down and eat a small sandwich. Nephew starts taking chicken cubes and handing them to me. Then he starts stuffing them into my mouth.

So when those are gone, he runs into the kitchen and comes back with a tomatoe, takes a bite, puts it up so l take a bite which l do, then again. Then he runs over to his father who doesn't want some and then back to. Poor little tomatoe didn't last 20 seconds.

He wants me to dance with him, look at his toys, so on and so on.  His mother tells me that because he is -now, "was"-  watching "Peppe Pig" he is calling her "Mommy pig" and his father "Daddy pig".  He doesn't see that any more.

OK l have to go. He follows me as l have to go sit out on the steps to put my work boots on. He won't stay in the air conditioned house. He runs out onto this hot, Sun baked concrete. At first the hot, very humid air stumps him. Then his feet start to cook. "Aaaahhhhhhhh" as he runs back into the house (to his father most likely).

l get into the car and as l back out he is waving from inside the house, happy as a lark. Of course, l am waving back.

All this in about 15 minutes.

Little Sister says, "Clean your house so l can send him over there. And clean your car so he can go to the store with you. l need the peace."

[ShiaMan14]

[ShiaMan14]

[hasanhh]

Euromax-Lifestyles Europe; dw,com

A Whale Choir

People standing around making whale sounds "to raise awareness' for whatever.

[Laayla]

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

My child coming up to me this morning, he said, "Imma, do you know why we can't step on the Saudi flag?"

Me: "Why?"

"Because it has the name of Allah on it."  

Me: "Yes."

"And Imam Ali's sword, Zulfiqar"

Me:  "I wish that was the reason."

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

[hasanhh]

 is not in their office.

http://insider.foxnews.com/2018/07/10/womens-march-mocked-releasing-statement-opposing-scotus-nominee-xx

And, ....  

Edited July 11, 2018 by hasanhh

[hasanhh]

Apparently, 16July is lnternational Snake Day  

WARNING: a few of you may find this upsetting  <----not a joke and not a dare

https://www.thisisinsider.com/snake-massage-2018-4 

 

Sister Mods: get ready to look away quickly. Put you coffee/tea off to the side so not to spill anything.

[Fakeha]

@starlight"s Ya Allah =D =D

[hasanhh]

My little nephew. Almost 3 years old, now.

l get this urgent "come and watch him" phone call. OK

lt has been 3 months since l last sat with him and only briefly saw him ~twice since then.

He is so excited to see me. l gave him a peanut butter on waffle and he ran around for about 40 minutes

holding it and did not make a mess. 

He moved the pillows around to the way l use to sit, asked me if l wanted to sleep, offered me some of his fruit.

He even kept saying "spatula" wanting me to tap him with it like l use to.

Squealing with laughter as l played at whipping him, you'd think l was pumping laughing gas into him.

He did get too wild, so: "Give me your hand" --"No Amu No" -- put my thumb over his hand and whack my thumb.

Ahhhhhhhhh, "too much iz too much" l say , he goes and pouts in another room, comes back in under a minute and says, "Too much iz too much . . . WEEEEEEEEE" and starts running around again.  l have got to get him outside. So off we go.

l get him back to where these play sets are. And he starts asking me to do stuff with him and for him. l am surprised at how much English he has remembered.

Trampoline, slide, bars ... then he gets to 'his' swing. l get him into it and as soon as he is swinging, he starts to recite Quran ---like he did before.

He is re-living all the things we did last Fall, Winter and Spring. 

So we got back inside and he asks "Sleep?" and l say OK. So as l sat on the couch, he grabs two pillows stuffs one next to me and puts the other on top of it and lays down with his head on my leg. So l fall asleep for an hour. When l awake he is still sound asleep. l get up real carefully for salah. Get that done, ahamduallah.

When his mother comes with his new sister he wakes, goes over and says to me, "Baby". 

But what l found really funny is the shirt he was wearing. lt read:

. Genius

Just Like

 . M0M 

The 0 = a light bulb.

 "l never thought of HIZ mother as a "genius". l know better."

[Laayla]

Sacha Baron Cohen

Showtime's, Who is America?

Laughing so hard, what people will say or do for just a few hundred dollars.

So sad that people really do beleive that toddlers should hold a gun, yet hilarious because he caught it on camera and people can't deny what happened.

Those who were interviewed said, they were duped.

[hasanhh]

On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 6:54 PM, hasanhh said:

> . . .

But what l found really funny is the shirt he was wearing. lt read:

. Genius

Just Like

 . M0M 

The 0 = a light bulb.

 "l never thought of HIZ mother as a "genius". l know better."

Although my little sister is no artist, l did think of her when this was on the news:

http://womhist.alexanderstreet.com/ggirls/doc11.htm

-the next to the last line. The rest is dribble.

[Fakeha]

My younger sister saying "shukar Allah"  When I asked what happened she replied: "Allah won't punish me for listening music even by mistake because I can't hear it" 

She is deaf by birth!! 

[ShiaMan14]

Be careful what you type on your mobile.

I was researching "things to do in a certain city" but fat-fingered o instead of i in things.

[hasanhh]

My nephew today.

l have to sit with him these three days. So when l got there today, his father had a bottle propped-up on a pillow to feed the newborn so she could drink her milk --and he could do something else.

A little later the bottle got away from her as she moved her arms under the pillow.

So my nephew, who is not 3 yet, goes over and fixes her bottle and pillow so she can finish feeding.

His father, who was busy and saw it, said "Bravo !"

Edited July 25, 2018 by hasanhh
clarity

[hasanhh]

  <--- A 'pow' to the head

PBS News Hour factoid, 26July18

Since its founding in 1947, none of Pakistan's Prime Ministers have completed his or her 5 year term.

[hasanhh]

Crazy License Plates 

1]  FELONY      -what kind of underdeveloped personality would want that?

2]  WKD WTCH   = "Wicked Witch"      "Too many re-runs of the Wizard of Oz ?"

[Waseem162]

This - 

[hasanhh]

Another license plate:

1 WlTCH

which had on the plate frame the line:

"My other car is a broom!"

And the decal in the rear window read:

United States Air Force

So why are we buying air craft?

[Hameedeh]

On 8/6/2018 at 12:49 AM, Waseem162 said:

This - 

That is too funny! It reminds me of when Iranian brothers are at your house and it's prayer time. They argue over who should lead the prayer. 

You, brother!

NO, you should lead the prayer! 

No you go ahead, please.

No, you're older. 

You're more intelligent.

Astagfirullah, please you go ahead.

blah, blah, blah.

It takes forever for them to start the prayer. I could have prayed in my room already! LOL

[hasanhh]

So it was my little nephew's third birthday today. 

His mother said to be there --and get and bring some stuff.

So, after spending part of last night looking for toy-trucks online and not finding what l wanted to give l go to the thrift store.

Check toys first. Found these discounted trucks for $1 each. Got two. Got batteries. Got nephew's favorite cookies. A balloon.

$6.26 Not bad for a birthday.

So l get there. He is sound asleep. Get organized. His father puts batteries in the one truck.

He's awake. Runs over. He evidently does not understand the concept "birthday" but he is having a good time already --l'm there.

So his father turns on the one truck, which is front-wheel driven, and lets it go on the floor.

Now he gets so excited he can barely contain himself. He is working his feet/legs up and down so fast they are a blur, chasing it all over the place.

His mother said, "Ahamduallah for what $1 can do to make a child happy."

So while we 3 are getting ready for birthday he runs that toy all over the kitchen and adjoining room until the batteries start to weaken.

Then he goes to the other truck which has lights and starts playing and examining. And then the "baw-woon" (balloon). Yank, punch, kick, and tries to keep hold of it.

Not interested in eating. He wants to play with his new things. We do get some rice into him.

So we get the meal all cleaned away and his mother opens a box, nephew looks and comes running saying, "Cake!  Cake!".

His father has to hold him. So now we try to take pictures while he keeps trying to eat the frosting. Lights the candles:   He doesn't know how to blowout the candles and puffs over them. 

Finally, time to cut the cake his mom ordered. So she holds his right hand on the cake knife to saw on the cake while he uses a spoon in his left hand to get at the frosting. 

l think he had one bite of cake while going for all the frosting he can get. Mine included. 

Then back to the trucks. 

l bet he goes asleep with one of those trucks tonight. l'II hear in the morning.

[hasanhh]

Just as l anticipated . . .

little, now 3, nephew

went to bed and slept

with the

one truck