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Asslam o alaikum everyone.i am 27 years old and my partner is 37. I had muta with him 6 months ago for two years. i met this guy we fell in love and everything looked so charming.He drinks, and does drugs and does not pray and keep fast. In start these things didnt bother me because i was also not very clean. I drank n took drugs with him sometime.. But later on when i quit my job i tried to be a good person.this guy always wanted to know my past. I was emotionally tortured and blackmailed to reveal my past life and i did so later on he used my past mistakes and weaknesses to torture me. Day by day he told me am a bad girl. And he is very pure.. Although he isnt. I know him very well since i have been living with him for more than six months now. All love from my heart has gone.but he still says that he loves me and never wants to leave me.i moved from pakistan to malaysia left my job and started praying and asked touba for my past life. He still is the same person. He told my family that i am his mankuha.didnt tell about muta as considered inappropriate in our society. I dont want to live with this man anymore as i feel he is just using me and insecure because he is not well educated and good looking. And he cannot make love in proper way without taking drugs. Although i dont demand sexually anything. But he feels complex himself.. He has another wife and 3 kids.I feel unsafe with him. My future is not secure. He has also physically abused me and bowed me to his knees when he is drunk. After his this new face which was not seen in start i started to became cold hearted and now i dont feel anything but i am always scared about my future if i leave him my family is not going to accept me the way it was. And i dont want to work anymore. And i have no legal rights of being his wife. He is rich but cannot give me much if i leave him.please i need your suggestions and help. Jazak Allah

Edited by Khadim uz Zahra
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There is no muta if the consent of both is not there. Also the faults keeping and persisting those are against the practices of religion.

You may need to seek a legal advice and going back to your parents as there is no muta valid in such circumstances. This is my personal opinion

wasalam

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1 hour ago, skyweb1987 said:

There is no muta if the consent of both is not there.

She consented at the time of marriage and as long as the husband doesn't give her the time back they are still married as far as I know.

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If he's an abusive drunkard, probably the best thing to do would be to separate from him and wait out the remaining time. 

You can ask for the remaining time back, but if he refuses, 18 months isn't terribly long. If he is willing to change, you can consider returning to him.

Nothing can be done about your family's opinion. If you would consider returning to him, I'd suggest giving your family only the necessary information. That'll make it easier for them to forgive him if you decide to return to him. 

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

Brother @Ron_Burgundy

Of course there will be muta horror stories. When you have two responsible adults who respect themselves, you will have good stories.  Most famous and positive outcome is sister @Hameedeh

God bless her and her husband.

When people talk bad about muta it reminds me of people who talk bad about guns when there is a school shooting for example.  People want to blame guns, but don't look at the real problems and issues of the shooter.  America has a crisis and they will never talk about bullying, social economic factors, broken home families, traumatized children, and much more.   The media only focuses on tighter gun laws and mental illness, that's it.

Muta was permitted during Rasoul Allah's time and it is a hallal outlet instead of zena and legitimate children vs haram children.  I'm sure you can understand the difference.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah  

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Salam 

17 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

Everything looked charming while he was drinking and doing drugs?

More than the comment, I'm disappointed by the reactions. She's asking you for help, don't mock her. 

She said she was participating in the past, but after quitting her job, she wanted to become a better person. She's a changed person. 

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Salaam Alaykum Sister

Ask your marji if you can quit the Mutah contract. Find a religious way to leave him. If he offered you money, don't accept. Once you left, never go back to him.

Don't be afraid of your position in the eyes of your family. It takes time until they realize that you changed. Also start working if you like. Sister, don't let any man come into your life unless he is a pious Muslim with pure Islamic intention.

All of these problems are results of improper use of Mutah, not the Mutah itself. Mutah is Islamic, valid, and beneficial to both man and the woman. If this lady would have done permanent marriage with this guy, she was still in the same situation. So permanent marriage is not bad then.

Edited by AmirAlmuminin Lover

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5 minutes ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Ask your marji if you can quit the Mutah contract. Find a religious way to be away from him. 

A wife in mutah does not need her husband's permission to leave. That is one of the differences between temporary and permanent marriage. 

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wa 'alaykum assalam,

It sounds like you are dealing with quite a scumbag. One thing is for sure, sadly you do have to tread softly as our communities have no mercy, especially when it comes to women.

By the sounds of it, you aren't capable of dealing with this guy, and you probably don't have any men around who you can count on, so you are going have to dig deep and get some courage. 

Realistically the only thing that you can do is to get rid of this guy, what you should look into is a way to really screw him over. As I understand it, Malaysia has extremely strict drug laws, you have to somehow get him arrested whilst he is in possession. 

Try and find some women's refuge or group or something who can advise you on the best way to go about it, maybe something along the lines of he hits you, you know there are drugs in the house, you call the police, and in sha' Allah they can do the rest. Make sure that you don't have any drugs in your system, check online to see how long whatever it is that you took takes to get out of your system.

Do some research,  get some legal advice,  and be very careful.

Whichever way you choose to go out this, good luck, I hope it ends well and you can turn over a new leaf.

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14 hours ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Salaam Alaykum Sister

Ask your marji if you can quit the Mutah contract. Find a religious way to leave him. If he offered you money, don't accept. Once you left, never go back to him.

Don't be afraid of your position in the eyes of your family. It takes time until they realize that you changed. Also start working if you like. Sister, don't let any man come into your life unless he is a pious Muslim with pure Islamic intention.

All of these problems are results of improper use of Mutah, not the Mutah itself. Mutah is Islamic, valid, and beneficial to both man and the woman. If this lady would have done permanent marriage with this guy, she was still in the same situation. So permanent marriage is not bad then.

I agree once you leave never return the relationship didn’t work for a reason 

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