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Sumerian

Brothers need to be careful

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One of my mans came to the other day and told me "you know so and so she was eating in Ramadan day time" - somehow he seen her.

At first I was shocked because although I don't know the sister personally we had minimal interraction during high school and she was a very religious and modest sister. 

Today I saw him again, and we were talking about fasting and stuff, and he told me "remember when we spoke about so and so", I was like "yea bro wassup", he said well he told his sister and his sister told him to shut up because the other girl was going through the natural stuff that happens to women every now and then (monthly?). 

Moral of the story: not everything is what it seems at face value so don't spread misinformation, and brothers please be mindful of what your sisters go through.

May Allah accept all of our fasts. Peace.

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12 hours ago, Laayla said:

I think both of you will understand more once you get married. lol

Next time do fasting of the ears and tongue.  :)

I didn't do anything though. I just listened and was shocked but I didn't care until he brought it up again.. 

So its on my boy. Not me.

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Shahr Ramadhan Mubarak brother,

God bless you.

Here is where you should have told him inna b3id al dani ithem.

Or when Imam J3far al sadeq says give your brother 40 excuses.  :)

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

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19 minutes ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

Shahr Ramadhan Mubarak brother,

God bless you.

Here is where you should have told him inna b3id al dani ithem.

Or when Imam J3far al sadeq says give your brother 40 excuses.  :)

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

You're right sister. 

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31 minutes ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

This always comes up, that you see a female not fasting, it's probably because she's on her period. Jesus, how old do you need to be to realize that.

Sorry bro, I guess it's a lesson learnt.

Edited by Sumerian

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Also, sisters have to forgive brothers who fall in this trap. I, for example, have read the entire risala except the parts pertaining to specifically female issues. I think it would be weird for me to read them.

I think a lot of the brothers are like this, so you have to be mindful they might not realise this. I don't think my friend knows the laws on this stuff.

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Salaam Alaykum

Brother this is a private thing. Your friend shouldn't have shared it with you. I personally get angry if I find out that people are talking about this monthly habit happening to my wife(if I had a wife :) ).

Second, that girl as a Muslim should have realized that she should eat and drink in a place that Muslims don't see her or in a room that nobody sees her.

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Did your friend not get taught about the menstrual cycle and just the general differences between the male and female body at school? Even if he didn't read about it islamically, surely all schools around the world give sex education? 

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8 minutes ago, Amira00 said:

Did your friend not get taught about the menstrual cycle and just the general differences between the male and female body at school? Even if he didn't read about it islamically, surely all schools around the world give sex education? 

I never paid attention during those lessons, they were weak. They're not important for me or my future. I don't know how well he did in that.

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3 hours ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Salaam Alaykum

Brother this is a private thing. Your friend shouldn't have shared it with you. I personally get angry if I find out that people are talking about this monthly habit happening to my wife(if I had a wife :) ).

Second, that girl as a Muslim should have realized that she should eat and drink in a place that Muslims don't see her or in a room that nobody sees her.

I agree we shouldn't talk openly about a specific person, but (amazingly enough) there are some brothers who are young, and know nothing at all about female physiology and anatomy and how it works , and also don't know about fiqh regarding fasting in relation to these facts of physiology, might think that a girl is doing something haram. 

Men don't experience anything similar to this, so unless they are informed, they won't know. It is an education issue. 

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2 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

I agree we shouldn't talk openly about a specific person, but (amazingly enough) there are some brothers who are young, and know nothing at all about female physiology and anatomy and how it works , and also don't know about fiqh regarding fasting in relation to these facts of physiology, might think that a girl is doing something haram. 

Men don't experience anything similar to this, so unless they are informed, they won't know. It is an education issue. 

Brothers don't need to know this. What is the use of me knowing how a woman works? Am I a woman? No. 

It's simply extra knowledge which a male does not "need" unless he will work in a field where he might need this knowledge.

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49 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Brothers don't need to know this. What is the use of me knowing how a woman works? Am I a woman? No. 

It's simply extra knowledge which a male does not "need" unless he will work in a field where he might need this knowledge.

Yes, he does need to know the basics, at least so you won't 'take the bait' and fall for the type of ridiculous talk that goes around regarding women and fasting. Maybe not you specifically, but other brothers who may fall into the trap of spreading rumors because they lack knowledge. 

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9 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

Yes, he does need to know the basics, at least so you won't 'take the bait' and fall for the type of ridiculous talk that goes around regarding women and fasting. Maybe not you specifically, but other brothers who may fall into the trap of spreading rumors because they lack knowledge. 

Some people are telling me I have to know how a female body works. I don't think I should know though, maybe there's a few Islamic laws I need to know, like this one (like I said I skip the risala parts which deal with women), but I don't need to know the biological differences between males and females. That does not difference for me in dunya or akhira.

Edited by Sumerian

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22 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Some people are telling me I have to know how a female body works. I don't think I should know though, maybe there's a few Islamic laws I need to know, like this one (like I said I skip the risala parts which deal with women), but I don't need to know the biological differences between males and females. That does not difference for me in dunya or akhira.

I recommend to read the resalat of your marjaa' cover to cover, several times, and don't skip any parts. It may not apply to you directly but it is part of fiqh, so it is good to know. If someone fails to do this, how can they be considered a muqalid of their marjaa' ? Rather, their own marjaa' would consider them jahil(ignorant) because they publish their resalat so that their followers will read it, and this is the minimum of the haq(right) that your marjaa' has over you. 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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2 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

I recommend to read the resalat of your marjaa' cover to cover, several times, and don't skip any parts. It may not apply to you directly but it is part of fiqh, so it is good to know. If someone fails to do this, how can they be considered a muqalid of their marjaa' ? Rather, their own marjaa' would consider them jahil(ignorant) because they publish their resalat so that their followers will read it, and this is the minimum of the haq(right) that your marjaa' has over you. 

Because the marja himself doesn't obligate you to know all the laws. He says this;

Issue 11: It is obligatory for a follower to learn the Masae'l which are of daily importance.

https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-laws-ayatullah-ali-al-husayni-al-sistani/taqlid-following-mujtahid

For our sisters these masa'el are of daily importance, for me I don't need to know them to be a muqalid.

In fact, there is a reason why our modern ulama don't publish every single chapter of Islamic Law in their risala. You know why? Because a lot of these things are not of daily importance to us in 2018. If you go back and read the older books of Fiqh, you will see how much more chapters there are, probably you'll be like "what, I didn't know we had rules on this".

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34 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

Because the marja himself doesn't obligate you to know all the laws. He says this;

Issue 11: It is obligatory for a follower to learn the Masae'l which are of daily importance.

https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-laws-ayatullah-ali-al-husayni-al-sistani/taqlid-following-mujtahid

For our sisters these masa'el are of daily importance, for me I don't need to know them to be a muqalid.

In fact, there is a reason why our modern ulama don't publish every single chapter of Islamic Law in their risala. You know why? Because a lot of these things are not of daily importance to us in 2018. If you go back and read the older books of Fiqh, you will see how much more chapters there are, probably you'll be like "what, I didn't know we had rules on this".

If you are married, or if you ever want to get married, this will be part of your daily life. You can't really avoid it for the rest of your life.

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Just now, Amira00 said:

If you are married, or if you ever want to get married, this will be part of your daily life. You can't really avoid it for the rest of your life.

How will it be part of my life sister? A wife can just tell her husband "it's that time of the week/month" and the husband can be like "kay sweet". 

Convo finished. Boom. Easy.

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23 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

How will it be part of my life sister? A wife can just tell her husband "it's that time of the week/month" and the husband can be like "kay sweet". 

Convo finished. Boom. Easy.

So, once every month the husband and wife will act awkwardly around each other? I agree with @Abu Hadi that boys need to be educated about this. It's better than staying ignorant about it and being so judgemental about girls whether its in Ramadhan or any time throughout the year.

Also, your thread is titled "brothers need to be careful". How can they be careful if they're ignorant?

Edited by Amira00

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7 hours ago, Amira00 said:

So, once every month the husband and wife will act awkwardly around each other? I agree with @Abu Hadi that boys need to be educated about this. It's better than staying ignorant about it and being so judgemental about girls whether its in Ramadhan or any time throughout the year.

Also, your thread is titled "brothers need to be careful". How can they be careful if they're ignorant?

Yea its only once a month. I dont think ill have trouble with that

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Not entirely related to the topic but I just wanted to add this here. 

Where I live almost no one will be seen eating in public during Ramadan even the Christians who live here will follow out of the respect for the holy month.While we cannot expect this to happen in western countries what I do not understand it that why Muslim females have to eat in front of everyone during Ramadan and in the process let every observing muslim male in the vicinity and far off (as in the OP's case) know they are on their period??? Can't they survive not eating during school/work timings? They stay alive when they are fasting. A woman's period is something very personal and not something to be announced to the whole world contrary to what the feminists might say. No one other than your mother if you are unmarried, your husband in case one is married and a few close friends need to know,that's all. Shouldn't women keep a hijab between her body,her feminine issue and random university guys and coworkers?

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