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Struggling with Silah e Rehmi

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13 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

I went back to a person, and a person was expecting me to beg him, and cry for forgiveness. What would you do in that situation? 

If i wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t do anything wrong but if he/she is especting me to beg and cry for forgiveness constantly then I’ll do silah al raham via phone or messages or ill ask someone  to send my Salam to them that would be counted as Silah al raham but if i was did do something wrong I’ll simply apologise,they can take it or leave it. 

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salam, how to practice silah e rehmi when you have too many relatives like aunts, uncles, cousins and other relatives. And who also do not live the same country as you.  Do we have to practice silah e rehmi with each and everyone of the above mentioned relatives if it is impossible to do because there are too many of them. Can you just practice silah e rehmi with close relatives like brothers and sisters, wouldn't that be enough islamically?

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10 hours ago, learn said:

salam, how to practice silah e rehmi when you have too many relatives like aunts, uncles, cousins and other relatives. And who also do not live the same country as you.  Do we have to practice silah e rehmi with each and everyone of the above mentioned relatives if it is impossible to do because there are too many of them. Can you just practice silah e rehmi with close relatives like brothers and sisters, wouldn't that be enough islamically?

You have to do Silah al raham to ur mum,dad,siblings,your brother or sister in law,uncles(from ur mum and dad side),aunties(ur mum and ur dad side) and cousins. If they are overseas you can do Silah al raham via phone or you can ask one of your family member to send your Salam to them. 

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salam, should we practice silah e rehmi with males cousins if you are a female or with female cousins if you are a male? like telling someone to say salam to them etc I am sorry for my ignorance please forgive me

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I remember reading this and praying one person would cite what the Prophet (saw) has said:

 

Hadith 60:

Imam Jaffer (as-Sadiq) once said: once a man came to the Holy Prophet ﷺ and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, my family has refused to do anything for me but to cut off and abuse me, and I also want to reject them.’ He (the Messenger of Allah) said, ‘If you do so, Allah will reject all of you.’ He then asked, ‘What should I do?’ He (the Messenger of Allah) said, ‘Maintain good relations with whoever cuts you off, give to those who deprive you, and forgive those who do injustice to you. If you do this, you will have support for this from Allah.'” 

محمد بن يحيى ، عن أحمد بن محمد بن عيسى ، عن علي بن النعمان ، عن إسحاق بن عمار قال قال بلغني ، عن أبي عبد الله عليه‌السلام أن رجلا أتى النبي صلى‌الله‌عليه‌وآلهفقال يا رسول الله أهل بيتي أبوا إلا توثبا علي وقطيعة لي وشتيمة فأرفضهم قال إذا يرفضكم الله جميعا قال فكيف أصنع قال تصل من قطعك وتعطي من حرمك وتعفو عمن ظلمك فإنك إذا فعلت ذلك كان لك من الله عليهم ظهير.

Grading: Muwathaq

Hadith 61:

“Abu Dhar (may Allah be pleased with him) has said, ‘I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ saying, “On the Day of Judgment the bridge will stand on two pillars: the kindred relations and safe keeping of trust. Those who maintain good relations with relatives and return the trust will pass the bridge safely to paradise but when the abuser of trust and neglector of good relations with relatives will try to pass the bridge no other deeds will benefit him and he will be thrown off the bridge into the fire.'” 

محمد بن يحيى ، عن أحمد بن محمد بن عيسى ، عن محمد بن إسماعيل بن بزيع ، عن حنان بن سدير ، عن أبيه ، عن أبي جعفر عليه‌السلام قال قال أبو ذر رضي‌الله‌عنهسمعت رسول الله صلى‌الله‌عليه‌وآله يقول حافتا الصراط ـ يوم القيامة الرحم والأمانة فإذا مر الوصول للرحم المؤدي للأمانة نفذ إلى الجنة وإذا مر الخائن للأمانة القطوع للرحم لم ينفعه معهما عمل وتكفأ به الصراط في النار.

Grading: Hasan-Muwathaq

Hadith 62:

“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ has said: ‘One who likes to delay the coming of his death and increase his means of living should maintain good relations with relatives.” 

أبو علي الأشعري ، عن محمد بن عبد الجبار ، عن ابن فضال عمن رواه ، عن أبي عبد الله عليه‌السلام قال قال رسول الله صلى‌الله‌عليه‌وآله من لم يحسب كلامه من عمله كثرت خطاياه وحضر عذابه.

Grading: كالسابق

Similar reliable tradition with respect to the effect of keeping good relations : عنه ، عن أحمد بن محمد بن أبي نصر ، عن أبي الحسن الرضا عليه‌السلام قال قال أبو عبد الله عليه‌السلام صل رحمك ولو بشربة من ماء وأفضل ما توصل به الرحم كف الأذى عنها وصلة الرحم منسأة في الأجل محببة في الأهل.

 

Hadith 63:

“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ has said:  ‘A people who are evil doers and not of the virtuous ones but maintain good relations with relatives, their wealth increases, and they live longer. Can one imagine their benefits had they been virtuous and of good deeds?”‘ 

دة من أصحابنا ، عن أحمد بن أبي عبد الله ، عن عثمان بن عيسى ، عن سليمان بن هلال قال قلت لأبي عبد الله عليه‌السلام إن آل فلان يبر بعضهم بعضا ويتواصلون فقال إذا تنمي أموالهم وينمون فلا يزالون في ذلك حتى يتقاطعوا فإذا فعلوا ذلك انقشع عنهم.

Grading: Mursal Like Muwathaq

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Salaam.

Silah-Rehmi has been left vague on purpose I believe. Salah for example has to be pray as prescribed - 2, 4, 4, 3, 4 and in a specific way.

When I comes to Silah-Rehmi,  there is no clear prescription other than maintain relations with your relatives. I have relatives that I meet daily, others monthly, others yearly, still others bi-annually, etc. I wouldn't say I have cut off relations with the ones I don't see for a long time so I am maintaining a certain kind of relationship...which is also Silah-Rehmi. 

Now if I refuse to ever meet them or if I know they need some kind of assistance and I don't offer my help, then it could be kat-e-rehmi. A relative passes away and you don't attend their funeral...that would be kat-e-rehmi. 

In the situations described on this thread, just my opinion that it falls within Silah-Rehmi even the brother and sister who are not talking to each other. As long as you come through for her in her time of need you will be okay - siblings fight but then get over things.

Secondly, a true test of character is for one to be true to oneself regardless of the actions of others. Best example is a famous letter (may be sermon) of Imam Ali (as) to Muawiya where Imam Ali (as) tells him that He (as) chooses not to be cunning like Muawiya. Also remember the woman who used to throw trash on the Prophet (saw). He (saw) stayed true to himself.

Easier said than done of course but be who you are regardless of how the other person is acting or treating you.

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