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In the Name of God بسم الله

After Mutah

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Salaam all,

So I've met someone who is practically a convert (began practicing and believing as a young adult), and I myself am a convert. I was a sunni for well over a decade but became shi'a a couple years ago, but i still lack the level of knowledge I had as a sunni. We're strongly considering getting married (tbh im sold, she seems to want to see if I reveal bad character traits) and are both working professionals, living in two different cities. We're taking time to decide for sure and are getting our affairs in order, but in the meantime I have visited her; the first of at least a few visits before relocating. We have a Mutah currently, to end in a few days.

While we are apart we have used facetime to interact, but her discomfort in coming home from work just to throw hijab back on to talk to me hasn't escaped my notice, and I want to accomodate that.

My hope is that as I've seen her without hijab that it wouldn't be required anymore, even after the mutah ends, but with my understanding of Islam I'm not holding my breath that this is the case. Has anyone seen an elaboration on this or know more?

If that isn't possible then my hope is she will be interested in a longer mutah afterwards, to cover the future trips as well as the time we are distant. At the mention of this before this mutah she didn't want to do that, but perhaps it will be worth mentioning. It might be a selling point if there is a way for the woman to guarantee a return of her time and an end to the mutah as I believe her hesitation came from the fear that if it didn't work out she would have the full length of the mutah, plus the iddah, preventing her from looking at other options if I decided to not return her time. Any suggestions on that?

Thanks!

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WaSalam, yeah you should not be afraid to mention it to her. It shouldn't be a big issue for her, you are just trying to keep things comfortable and halal. If she is afraid that it will be too long and she will feel 'stuck' then you can do the mutah a month at a time and keep renewing. I'm not really sure what she is hesitant about though. Maybe I am not understanding the question fully. 

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10 hours ago, Hmzh said:

My hope is that as I've seen her without hijab that it wouldn't be required anymore, even after the mutah ends, but with my understanding of Islam I'm not holding my breath that this is the case. Has anyone seen an elaboration on this or know more?

Salam if both of you want you can extend time of Mutah by its condition until you get to approciate time for permnet marriage.

https://www.al-islam.org/muta-temporary-marriage-in-islamic-law-sachiko-murata/four-pillars-muta

 

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2350/

 

http://www.leader.ir/en/book/32/Practical-Laws-of-Islam

 

http://www.islamic-laws.com/

 

http://www.duas.org/matri1.htm

 

 

 

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Why does she wear Hijab to FaceTimewith you if you are currently in a mutah? 

Anyway, the answer to your problem, have really short mutah contracts (1-2months) so she doesn't feel trapped in case she wants to end it. But, if a girl is happy and safe in a relationship there is no reason for her to feel that way. A man should have the decency  to let go of a woman in a dignified manner if she doesn't want to continue a marriage,be it permanent or temporary. This is what Islam asks of men. I think you need to convey this with your actions and words. 

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15 hours ago, Hmzh said:

Salaam all,

So I've met someone who is practically a convert (began practicing and believing as a young adult), and I myself am a convert. I was a sunni for well over a decade but became shi'a a couple years ago, but i still lack the level of knowledge I had as a sunni. We're strongly considering getting married (tbh im sold, she seems to want to see if I reveal bad character traits) and are both working professionals, living in two different cities. We're taking time to decide for sure and are getting our affairs in order, but in the meantime I have visited her; the first of at least a few visits before relocating. We have a Mutah currently, to end in a few days.

While we are apart we have used facetime to interact, but her discomfort in coming home from work just to throw hijab back on to talk to me hasn't escaped my notice, and I want to accomodate that.

My hope is that as I've seen her without hijab that it wouldn't be required anymore, even after the mutah ends, but with my understanding of Islam I'm not holding my breath that this is the case. Has anyone seen an elaboration on this or know more?

If that isn't possible then my hope is she will be interested in a longer mutah afterwards, to cover the future trips as well as the time we are distant. At the mention of this before this mutah she didn't want to do that, but perhaps it will be worth mentioning. It might be a selling point if there is a way for the woman to guarantee a return of her time and an end to the mutah as I believe her hesitation came from the fear that if it didn't work out she would have the full length of the mutah, plus the iddah, preventing her from looking at other options if I decided to not return her time. Any suggestions on that?

Thanks!

After the mutah ends, she is then required to wear her hijab in front of you, whether it is face time or in person. The fact that you have already seen her without her hijab doesn't matter. In Islam, you are either married or not married. If you are married, you can see her without hijab, if you are not married, you can't. If you are still interested in her, why don't you renew your aqd (Mutah) contract ? 

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2 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

After the mutah ends, she is then required to wear her hijab in front of you, whether it is face time or in person. The fact that you have already seen her without her hijab doesn't matter. In Islam, you are either married or not married. If you are married, you can see her without hijab, if you are not married, you can't. If you are still interested in her, why don't you renew your aqd (Mutah) contract ? 

This is what I expected the case to be, it makes sense, thank you.

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9 hours ago, starlight said:

Why does she wear Hijab to FaceTimewith you if you are currently in a mutah? 

Anyway, the answer to your problem, have really short mutah contracts (1-2months) so she doesn't feel trapped in case she wants to end it. But, if a girl is happy and safe in a relationship there is no reason for her to feel that way. A man should have the decency  to let go of a woman in a dignified manner if she doesn't want to continue a marriage,be it permanent or temporary. This is what Islam asks of men. I think you need to convey this with your actions and words. 

She does not, she did before of course. I was concerned with inconveniencing her afterwards too but it seems it can't be helped if we don't get a new one

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