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In the Name of God بسم الله

Islamic Jokes and Humor

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37 minutes ago, Laayla said:


^ the time is not a minute before Fajr, otherwise that fast is a waste(lack of a better word), yet that rush is a sign of being disorganised & that chaos is alhamdulillah:cool: when it happens.

431823101_98084.jpg.d8cd26410ac4a68e06c33067105a91d7.jpg  Spider Man during the month of Ramadhan

It seems like Spiderman is like me, we haven't got a grip as yet.

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Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends who happen to be lost in a desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.

Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is Mohammed, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"

Steve said: "No, I'm sticking with my name."

They walked into the Mosque and the Sheikh saw them. The Sheikh asked: "What are your names?" Bob said: "My name is Mohammed." Steve said: "My name is Steve."

Sheikh said: "Guys, please bring some food and water for Steve. And you Mohammed, Ramadan Mubarak!!

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Amr bin Maimoon reported, “I saw a monkey surrounded by a swarm of other monkeys. He had committed adultery with a female monkey. So, all monkeys stoned him to death. I cast stones, too.” A variation of this hadith reports, “The female monkey had been lying down with a middle-aged male when a young male came and gestured with his eye. The female slowly pulled her hand away from under the head of the middle-aged monkey and tiptoed away from him. Then she committed adultery with the young monkey. The older monkey got wind of what had happened so he yelled and gathered around him all monkeys in the vicinity. They stoned both (the adulterers) to death!” (Bukhari 2:261).

Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188. Narrated Amr bin Maimoon: ‘During the pre-Islamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too stoned it along with them."

...But after the age of ignorance, the monkeys kept away from zina. Good monkeys.


Edited by aaaz1618

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