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In the Name of God بسم الله

Islamic Jokes and Humor

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2 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

intelligence abused not?

You don't know these things

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Here is a real humorous event in history of Islam.

Hazrat Qambar a.s before accepting Islam was a nephew of a king of certain faction. He wanted to marry his daughter. And when he came to ask the hand of his cousin, the father said bring me head of Ali ibn Abu Talib and I shall betroth you to my daughter. Hazrat Qambar a.s took his belongings and weapons and went to Medina. When he reached Medina, coincidentally, he stopped at the farm where Ameerul Momineen Imam Ali a.s was working.

Qambar: Where can I find Ali ibn Abu Talib?

Mola Ali: Why do you want to meet him?

Qambar: Because I want his head..

Mola Ali: Why do you want to have a fight with him?

Qambar: Because my uncle had asked me that if I do that he would betroth me to his daughter.

Qambar: By the way, tell me how does he looks and he fights ?

Mola Ali: Well, he has same height as me and I can say that if you beat me, you can beat him too.

Qambar: Ok, let us have a fight, prepare your self.

Mola Ali: Ok, I am ready.

Qambar: With spade ? While I have a better weapon as sword.

Mola Ali: I can fight with it too, lets fight.

Fight starts and after some moments, Imam Ali a.s parries and sits over the chest of Qambar. Qambar begins to cry.

Mola Ali: Why are you crying ?

Qambar: I am crying because I cannot beat you how could I beat him. Imam Ali a.s smiles and after wards Qambar become one of most loved Companions whose status to us is of a teacher and disciple.

Edited by Juma Khan

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37 minutes ago, Laayla said:


^ the time is not a minute before Fajr, otherwise that fast is a waste(lack of a better word), yet that rush is a sign of being disorganised & that chaos is alhamdulillah:cool: when it happens.

431823101_98084.jpg.d8cd26410ac4a68e06c33067105a91d7.jpg  Spider Man during the month of Ramadhan

It seems like Spiderman is like me, we haven't got a grip as yet.

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Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends who happen to be lost in a desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.

Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is Mohammed, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"

Steve said: "No, I'm sticking with my name."

They walked into the Mosque and the Sheikh saw them. The Sheikh asked: "What are your names?" Bob said: "My name is Mohammed." Steve said: "My name is Steve."

Sheikh said: "Guys, please bring some food and water for Steve. And you Mohammed, Ramadan Mubarak!!

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Amr bin Maimoon reported, “I saw a monkey surrounded by a swarm of other monkeys. He had committed adultery with a female monkey. So, all monkeys stoned him to death. I cast stones, too.” A variation of this hadith reports, “The female monkey had been lying down with a middle-aged male when a young male came and gestured with his eye. The female slowly pulled her hand away from under the head of the middle-aged monkey and tiptoed away from him. Then she committed adultery with the young monkey. The older monkey got wind of what had happened so he yelled and gathered around him all monkeys in the vicinity. They stoned both (the adulterers) to death!” (Bukhari 2:261).

Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188. Narrated Amr bin Maimoon: ‘During the pre-Islamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too stoned it along with them."

...But after the age of ignorance, the monkeys kept away from zina. Good monkeys.


Edited by aaaz1618

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