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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Salaams All,

I am a 25 year old girl, and I lost my dad on the 9th of June 2017.

My Dad's death happened at home, His head on my lap, His hand in mine. His final moments with me.

It has been so long, I have tried various amaal, various suras, but I still can not take the scene out of my head, nor can I accept the fact, that my dad is no more. I can not sleep, cannot eat. and I cry most of the time. 

Can anyone advice me what to do? How to stop from hurting?

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W/Salam, 

I know it’s really hard losing a loved one especially if it’s one of your parents. When My mom lost her mom she was devastated. I always told her to remember the fact that we are all here for only a short period of time. We all have to go one day and then we reunite with our loved ones for eternity inshallah! Death is not the end it’s a new beginning of the eternal life. Till then recite as many Duas and Quran on your fathers behalf and give charity on his behalf as well. I hope this helped! 

Sending lots of prayers and love your way. May Allah give you patience. 

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Walekum Alsalam

May Allah give you patience and peace.Ameen.

This world is temporary and all of are going to die eventually. You wrote that he passed away on 9 June 2017.it been almost a year.You see that time doesn't stop.You have to be strong.You need to find a reason to live your remaining days.

Was he ill or was his an unexpected death ?

The best thing you can do is pray for him.Read Quran pray and send him blessings.

And you have to believe that he is in a better place now.He is near to Allah.And one day you will join him.You will see your father again till then hold tight for the people who are still in your life.Be thankful to Allah in every situation.

And you said that he died with his head in your lap.This was going to happen.His time in this world was over.So why don't you see it this way that you were lucky to be by his side.there are people who are not even able to see their loved ones one last time. So be strong.Your father lived his life, i am sure he did the best he could.Now is your turn.Are you married ? Do you have Children ? If yes then you have to live for them. Your father lived his life and now is your turn.Remember you are going to die as well but till you are alive why don't you try to live your life just as your father did when he was alive.be there for your loved ones.because i know that if you are suffering you are not able to live your life normally.

And if you are not married,set a goal..think about your future.i know everything might seem useless but if you are alive you have to go on so why not be courageous.pray as much as you can for your father.Have faith.Your father is in a better place now inshallah.

And remember death is not bad.Nor is the end. It's just a start.A start for eternity.so why don't you rejoice thinking about the time you will see/meet your father again. 

They say losing a parent creates a hole in your heart.it can never be filled but you have to learn to live with it.the pain is going to be there. Just try to not think about it all the time. You pray for your father thats the best thing and all you can do for him.

If you keep thinking about him ,crying and suffering then that doesn't your father help at all.i am sure he loved you very much so won't his soul be disturbed by your current state ?

You do not have to think about him all the time.keep him in your mind but try to do something else.distract yourself.think about other things.when ever you feel like thinking about your father think about Jannah. Read Quran Translation. It gives immense peace. Allah gives and Allah takes back.All of us belong to him.you must be happy for the life your father lived as he left you behind to pray for him because there are people in this world who live and die and they don't have anyone else.i am sure your father lived a complete life.

If you are living in the house he died in try to change the pleace for a bit. It might help because your mind sees your father's death as tragic and it was a trauma for you so go somewhere else for sometime if you can.

Another thing you can do is read about Karbala.Read about Imam Hussain A.S. life.because our suffering is nothing compared to what they went through.Read what Bibi Zainab A.S. went through.

And i apologize if something i said hurt you in any way because you are in a very sensitive state.

My prayers for you and your father.

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17 hours ago, Sayyida_L said:

Can anyone advice me what to do? How to stop from hurting?

Salam. Condolences. You are still grieving so the loss of your Father is going to hurt. Talk to people about him. Talking relieves the stress you feel. If people near you don't want you to talk about him, you can come here and we will listen. Praying for you. 

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Sorry to hear about your loss. May Allah give you sabr. :(

When our parents die, we often think that it's the end. This is not the case at all, as your dad is alive in a world that we can't see or perceive. 

We aren't who we're suppose to be in this world. We'll realize our true nature the moment we die.

Your responsibility towards your dad has not stopped. Your dad is in need of your duas, prayers etc. And realize that Allah will reward you for that.

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On 4/22/2018 at 10:55 AM, Sayyida_L said:

Salaams All,

I am a 25 year old girl, and I lost my dad on the 9th of June 2017.

My Dad's death happened at home, His head on my lap, His hand in mine. His final moments with me.

It has been so long, I have tried various amaal, various suras, but I still can not take the scene out of my head, nor can I accept the fact, that my dad is no more. I can not sleep, cannot eat. and I cry most of the time. 

Can anyone advice me what to do? How to stop from hurting?

Alaikum Salaam,

Please accept my condolences.  A similar thing happened to me too last year.  I was few feet away and within 20 mins my father was gone.  We are in transit in this world.

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Salam alaykum,

When I lost my grandmother, who was like a secondary mother to me. I felt like I lost a huge piece of me. 

What helped me 'get over it' was when ever I thought of her or even was about to get teary, I remembered the hilarious things she used to do and the important things she did. I would also think of what she would think if she saw me this upset and how she would feel, that helped a ton.

I also began to thank Allah SWT. Because he gave me someone as precious as her. It was her time to live freely in the heavens, inshallah.

Talking about the funny moments and the great things someone who has passed away has done while they were with you, helps you heal. 

Edited by حسين
Grammar

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On 4/22/2018 at 10:55 AM, Sayyida_L said:

Salaams All,

I am a 25 year old girl, and I lost my dad on the 9th of June 2017.

My Dad's death happened at home, His head on my lap, His hand in mine. His final moments with me.

It has been so long, I have tried various amaal, various suras, but I still can not take the scene out of my head, nor can I accept the fact, that my dad is no more. I can not sleep, cannot eat. and I cry most of the time. 

Can anyone advice me what to do? How to stop from hurting?

May Allah elevate his status.

Give yourself some time. Time heals everything. 

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Salam. Condolences. 

I'm not going to pretend what it is like losing a father, because i still haven't. But, what i do know is that trying to forget sometimes has a counter effect. I believe maybe you shouldn't try forgetting and instead keep doing your wajibats and let time do what it does best. 

Just my two cents!

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@Sayyida_L Salam, Sister. How are you? I hope that you return and let us know how you are doing. Dear, I know it's hard. A few years ago my loved one was in the hospital and there was no hope of recovery. I was holding his hand when he passed away, but I don't dwell on that and try to remember the good times with him. Whenever you think about your father's passing, try to think of some happy time when you were together, until you feel yourself smiling. Your dear father always wanted you to have a good life. Please take care of yourself. You need to eat healthy and sleep at least 6 hours if you can. You are in my prayers. 

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