i dont like living

[kawther]

hi i am so broken always have been and i just want it to end.i pray alot i dont lose hope in Allah but i still feel broken. is god punishing me for my past sins. i just hate living. i hate what this world has become and i have no one to speak to that feels the same. honestly right now im focusing doing good and forgetting about everyhing but i just stsill feel sad and i seriously dont know what to do. i dint want to die but i dont want to live either. im still a teenager and it sucks how ive been feeling this way most of my life. my mind is in pain my bodybis in pain all i want is a cure...and happiness

[Hamodiii]

Donya is not heaven, nor hell. It is between the both. You can experience hell here and heaven here depending on how good you are as a person. The fact that you are a human means you have an ability to choose whatever you want, that's the gift we got from Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى. The thing is... Hardships surely kills sins, if you are trying to get to him, he tests you with your struggles now. Instead of focusing on losing hope, try to ask Allah to not test you with tests that can lead you astray. Try to focus on your daily prayers and really, pray salat al layl. It has a lot of benefit despite the fact its not a wajib! Try not do sins through the day as well, not recommended.

Regardless, hope you get through those struggles, Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى forgivess all sins! Don't try to get heavy, when Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى created you light.

[Ashvazdanghe]

On 3/16/2018 at 5:37 AM, kawther said:

hi i am so broken always have been and i just want it to end.i pray alot i dont lose hope in Allah but i still feel broken. is god punishing me for my past sins. i just hate living. i hate what this world has become and i have no one to speak to that feels the same. honestly right now im focusing doing good and forgetting about everyhing but i just stsill feel sad and i seriously dont know what to do. i dint want to die but i dont want to live either. im still a teenager and it sucks how ive been feeling this way most of my life. my mind is in pain my bodybis in pain all i want is a cure...and happiness

I recommend to  watch this

Date merchant Maytham Al Tamar(ra)

 

[MourningKarbala]

I agree with everything you said kawther. If I recall there is a hadith from Imam Ali (as) that says this world is a prison (or was it hell) for the believers, and that's been the only thing keeping me going for the past few years.

[Chaotic Muslem]

2 hours ago, kawther said:

hi i am so broken always have been and i just want it to end.i pray alot i dont lose hope in Allah but i still feel broken. is god punishing me for my past sins. i just hate living. i hate what this world has become and i have no one to speak to that feels the same. honestly right now im focusing doing good and forgetting about everyhing but i just stsill feel sad and i seriously dont know what to do. i dint want to die but i dont want to live either. im still a teenager and it sucks how ive been feeling this way most of my life. my mind is in pain my bodybis in pain all i want is a cure...and happiness

salam,

it is ok, you are not alone. And it is not your fault. Something is simply not right that makes many people feel not good. But there are simple steps that can at least clarify your mind a bit and makes you focus again on living: school, social life and taking care of yourself until Allah decides when we should leave this world. Until then, we should wait elegantly.

Start by cleaning your room. If it is clean, re arrange it again, just because. Try new hair cut or reward yourself with anything that is totally selfish. Nothing fancy but very personal.

Go and walk, walk and walk and walk. Delete most of your social media accounts and apps, keep it to the least possible minimum. Enjoy old style conversations with family, friends or even strangers. 

Try to find that activity that will put your mind in trance state? That feeling when you were a kid , playing alone and is totally fine and enjoyable while making castle or the feeling of driving a car or bicycle on long road? idk what activity that put your brain in trance mode but try to find it and activate that mode.

Finally, when you are ready, try to find a meaning in life. I do not mean a meaning of universe or why we exist, but a meaning in an activity : helping someone, developing your self, helping your family by helping yourself instead of becoming a burden on them, expressing the gifts that Allah gave you like skills or talents etc

and finally: quit junk food, canned food, fast food , eat fresh food that has no hormonal alternating materials. 

[Ashvazdanghe]

My journey of loss, discouragement, and success

https://youtu.be/6fgJrg5dAcc

[monad]

Open Youtube - Type Jordan Peterson then spend the whole week listening to his lectures. Then realise you have two choices in life. Life is hard as he says, so did schopenhauer before him. Hopefully you can figure out what you need to do to live. I use JP as he is the new trend.

[TheGreenWanderer]

17 hours ago, kawther said:

hi i am so broken always have been and i just want it to end.i pray alot i dont lose hope in Allah but i still feel broken. is god punishing me for my past sins. i just hate living. i hate what this world has become and i have no one to speak to that feels the same. honestly right now im focusing doing good and forgetting about everyhing but i just stsill feel sad and i seriously dont know what to do. i dint want to die but i dont want to live either. im still a teenager and it sucks how ive been feeling this way most of my life. my mind is in pain my bodybis in pain all i want is a cure...and happiness

As-salaam alaikum sister,

You are young, don't let the stress of this world defeat you - do you have some goals you're aspiring to work towards? If not, I would definitely recommending thinking what you want to do and write some down. Keep positive and focused. If you have too much free time, Shaitan can whisper into those with idle hands.

Remember that this world which you covet so ardently and attempt to acquire so earnestly, and which sometimes annoys you and sometimes pleases you so much, is neither your home nor a permanent destination. You have not been created for it, nor invited to it as your resting-place. It shall neither remain with you for ever, nor will you remain in it eternally. If it has enticed you away with its charrns, it has also warned and cautioned you of real dangers lurking in its folds. Take account of the warnings it has given you and do not be seduced or deceived by its allurements. Let these warnings frighten you from being too greedy to possess it. Try to advance towards the place where you are invited for eternal bliss and turn your face away from the vicious world. Imam ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib (as), from Nahjul Balagha, the Peak of Eloquence.

What passed from your day is gone, and whatever time left from the day is uncertain, but your present moment can be seized. So make use of the opportunity and never trust time.

Shams Tabriz-i said:

We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so.

and Rumi also said

There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen

Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart

You should try and find this purpose, once found, seize the opportunity and work towards accomplishing it. Learn all that you can from it and then use it. With meaning and deen in Allah, you will feel great fulfillment. Don't stress yourself if you don't find it straight away, but keep taking steps towards it. Even if you try one thing and find it's not it, at least look at it positive that you have crossed another off the list towards this goal.

O you who carry knowledge around with you; are you only carrying it around with you ? For surely knowledge belongs to who ever knows and then acts accordingly, so that his action corresponds to his knowledge. There will be a people who will carry knowledge around with them, but it will not pass beyond their shoulders. Their inner most thoughts will contradict what they display in public, and their actions will contradict what they know. - Imam Ali

[mh7493]

I don't know the stigma in your family about seeing a counselor, but I waited way too long to go into therapy. I should have gone when I was a teenager. You might not think this is an option for you, but it made a big difference in my life. The people who have already commented have given great suggestions for taking care of yourself and seeking spiritual understanding. These things are important too. You are certainly not alone in these feelings. If you would like someone to talk to who is a little bit older, I am available! 

[Laayla]

On 3/16/2018 at 5:37 AM, kawther said:

hi i am so broken always have been and i just want it to end.i pray alot i dont lose hope in Allah but i still feel broken. is god punishing me for my past sins. i just hate living. i hate what this world has become and i have no one to speak to that feels the same. honestly right now im focusing doing good and forgetting about everyhing but i just stsill feel sad and i seriously dont know what to do. i dint want to die but i dont want to live either. im still a teenager and it sucks how ive been feeling this way most of my life. my mind is in pain my bodybis in pain all i want is a cure...and happiness

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum Sister

Wake up and say thank you ya Allah.  Pray on time.  Have a relationship with Quran and know who are the Ahulbayt.  Look into the life of Sayyida Fatymah al Zahra.

You need to take the first step.  When Allah sees you are making the effort to seek closeness to Him, you will see your life starting to change.

Stay away from haram  this includes listening to music, watching haram and use everyday as an opportunity to do good works.

Effort must be made in order to see change.

Staying at home, on the phone, on social media will take you no where except being more miserable.

Detox, go out and have relationships with people and hold conversations.

Get out of the box you are in right now, and do someone new, out of the routine.  

Why do you hate this world sister?

You are young and this is the best opportunity to use your youth for having the energy to fast.

We are in the month of Rajab, and today is Amir al mo2ineen's birthday.  Fast to clease your body and recite the duas of Rajab.

You take one foot towards Allah, and Allah will help and guide you.  The key word is you need to take the effort first.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

[ali_fatheroforphans]

Salam,

I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through. You have to realize that your only a teenager, and it's totally normal to feel that way. When I was a teenager, I had a lot of insecurities and complications, which made me feel very crappy most of the time. You can never predict your future, so don't ever think that you'll never be happy. It's totally okay to feel sad.

You shouldn't ever compare your life to others by saying 'why can't my life be like theirs'. You have no idea how many people appear happy, but deep down their lives are miserable. Everyone has a different story in life, so do you. Everything that is happening right now, is a chapter of your life story, it is there for a reason, to make you stronger. 

Also, Allah is not angry with you nor is he abandoning you. Most non-religious people who claim that their lives are "perfect", and how they have found "happiness", have a very shallow definition. People who cannot understand their true nature can never know what true happiness is. Islam is a religion which will give you true happiness - one which Allah promises. You might feel horrible at times but you are actually evolving your soul. It is like taking a bitter medicine which will help you in the long run. Therefore, continue to develop taqwa and fulfill your obligations - and I can guarantee that you'll gain more than anyone else.

 

Edited April 1, 2018 by ali_fatheroforphans

[Ibn Al-Shahid]

On 3/16/2018 at 5:23 PM, monad said:

Open Youtube - Type Jordan Peterson then spend the whole week listening to his lectures. Then realise you have two choices in life. Life is hard as he says, so did schopenhauer before him. Hopefully you can figure out what you need to do to live. I use JP as he is the new trend.

I think Alan Watts is usually a better choice when it comes to talking about life and choices. Zen philosophy in terms of living explains the concept of the nature of suffering in this life.

Good stuff

[SeekingHeaven]

I recommend you watch these set of lectures, they will make you see life differently.

 

[layman]

Salam.... on your journey, you have reached to a junction.  You have to decide either to go the left or to the right.  Both will lead to happiness, one is ever lasting inner happiness and another is artificial happiness.  You cannot stay at the junction and staring at both directions, you are going to be depressed. Make your move and focus.  

It has happened to me when i was younger.  Then this hadith from Fatema Zahra (AS) made me to start moving..."Believe in Allah swt, then follow this path".  

Wassalam.