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In the Name of God بسم الله
Aflower

Would you marry her?

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6 hours ago, AbdusSibtayn said:

Some people seriously need to grow up......just because an idiotic cultural taboo and a mindset of double-standards happens to surround mutah in certain societies, it doesn't automatically become an impious, lewd or shameful act. 

That's the ABUSE of the law, and NOT the law itself! Learn to distinguish between facts and perception. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى almighty legislates laws according to objective needs, harms and benefits, and your subjective perception counts for NOTHING !

Hundreds of women abuse the laws on sexual harassment each year to settle scores with their male colleagues/bosses, does that mean we should scrap those laws?  

Hundreds of car accidents happen each year. Should we take cars off the road?

Instead of whining about the law itself, kindly exert your faculties to help educate the society, especially the youngsters, against the ABUSE of the law- our maraja have outlined conditions where it ought NOT to be performed. There are youngsters out there who genuinely need this outlet.

Stop raving and come to your senses!

Well! At least someone is trying hard to make sense out of nonsense. No one is denying the fact that it is haram, it’s just that vast majority of people who are abusing it, think it’s okay to do so. What do you say about people who think they can do mutah for an hour or few minutes? If someone is doing a mutah with a non-Muslim girl, do you think she would care about observing Idaah period? And what if a girl who doesn’t care about idaah gets pregnant, she would go hang out with another man and then there will be confusion about who is the father of the child? And what if couple of years later, the children of that man and woman get married? Wouldn’t they be haram on each other? 

Unfortunately, abuse of mutah has been infiltrated in our Shia community so much so that you cannot stop people from practicing it casually. Also, our scholars make it look like it’s a man’s right and they don’t care about whether the person is a practicing Muslim or not. 

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I'm not sure what is meant by "abusing" mut'a . If a man and woman agree to be married for a day or more or less to fulfill their sexual desires, that is perfectly permissible. If a Muslim man contracts mut'a with a kitabi woman that's perfectly permissible as well. The difference between having a nikah contract and zina is like the difference between halal meat and haram meat. 

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14 minutes ago, Laayla said:

^^^

Please do not compare women to meat. I'm sure you have female relatives.

 We are precious jewels.

A better comparison is pearls, diamonds, and gems. :)

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

 

I didn't mean to compare women to meat, I meant to compare two actions. What makes having sex with a non-mahram halal is the marriage contract, and what makes eating meat halal is a Muslim slaughtering the animal while saying the basmalah. Either way you are eating or having sex but only one way is halal to do it. I do understand the comparison is crude, didn't mean to offend. 

Edited by Shi3i_jadeed

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16 hours ago, Rayhana80 said:

Well! At least someone is trying hard to make sense out of nonsense. No one is denying the fact that it is haram, it’s just that vast majority of people who are abusing it, think it’s okay to do so. What do you say about people who think they can do mutah for an hour or few minutes? If someone is doing a mutah with a non-Muslim girl, do you think she would care about observing Idaah period? And what if a girl who doesn’t care about idaah gets pregnant, she would go hang out with another man and then there will be confusion about who is the father of the child? And what if couple of years later, the children of that man and woman get married? Wouldn’t they be haram on each other? 

Unfortunately, abuse of mutah has been infiltrated in our Shia community so much so that you cannot stop people from practicing it casually. Also, our scholars make it look like it’s a man’s right and they don’t care about whether the person is a practicing Muslim or not.

Sister, that is exactly what I am saying too. The target of our attacks should be the abuse of the law, and not the law itself.

Imagine all those youngsters for whom this is the only alternative to committing zina....and there are a good many of them, mind you; mutah is more prevalent than we think it to be. Is it right to deny them this halal outlet simply because some unscrupulous individuals are abusing it? Scrapping a law just because of fear of its abuse is first rate nonsense. Instead of whining about its misuse, people should educate the younger generation against its misuse and do their share of the duty towards the society and the deen. As good old Socrates said, good people don't need any laws, and bad people will find every possible way to bypass the laws. 

The exact objections you have mentioned against mutah are all applicable to permanent marriages as well. People can marry and divorce the very next moment (think of all those 'contract marriages' in the West to get citizenship), it is still a lot better than not bothering to go the whole hog and committing zina right away, and in our fiqh (since you are Imami), even witnesses aren't required for marriages, so two people can very well commit zina and claim they're married.Considering that many maraja allow permanent marriages with Ahlul Kitab, and even those who forbid them do so on the basis of ahwat wujubi, and not a mutlaqan tahreem, would a divorced Ahlul Kitab wife care for iddah? Will a non-practising Muslim girl care for iddah after divorce, and not get around with other guys jeopardizing the paternal identity of her child? So should we consequently ban marriages, and send all our sons and daughters to monasteries and nunneries to lead chaste, pious lives? These hypothetical and counter-factual accusations are a huge non-sequitur. If one is bent on abusing a law, there are countless ways in which he can do so. Once again, as good old Socrates said, good people don't need any laws, and bad people will find every possible way to bypass the laws. 

About the abuse of mutah, I'm on the same page as you. As far as the issue of flagrant and unrestricted scholarly sanction is concerned, I know for a fact that Ayatollah Sistani (ha) says that it is NOT ALLOWED for a permanently married Muslim man to engage in mutah with an Ahlul Kitab woman, nor is he allowed to do mutah even with a Muslim woman if his family may be affected negatively by it. In any case, the permission of the first wife is necessary for mutah. So you see, so many juridical restrictions have been placed on this practice for a reason- so that only the genuinely needy get to avail it.

Edited by AbdusSibtayn

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3 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I can’t believe this thread is still happening. 

Sister, sister @Aflower asked a simple question which merited a simple answer, and as it inevitably happens on SC, some archangels-come-to-earth had to hijack it and make it spiral into their cute crusade for pseudo-morality.

Try to reason with people who'll see none of the reason, and see how long (or how many SC pages , or threads, for that matter) it takes. :) 

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9 hours ago, Shi3i_jadeed said:

I'm not sure what is meant by "abusing" mut'a . If a man and woman agree to be married for a day or more or less to fulfill their sexual desires, that is perfectly permissible. If a Muslim man contracts mut'a with a kitabi woman that's perfectly permissible as well. The difference between having a nikah contract and zina is like the difference between halal meat and haram meat. 

What???? Where is this zina thing come from? I don’t understand why did you bring it up? Why people are so frustrated and desperate to do mutah where on the other hand they can practice abstinence and be patient. Men already have lots of hoorain waiting for them in heaven, why can’t they be just patient? Brother, have you not heard the term “sabr” and to control Nafs? To some extent I can understand someone unmarried practicing mutah but why married men whose wives are sexually compliant practicing it?? They are doing so because they have an easy access to it. 

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25 minutes ago, Rayhana80 said:

Why people are so frustrated and desperate to do mutah where on the other hand they can practice abstinence and be patient. Men already have lots of hoorain waiting for them in heaven, why can’t they be just patient? Brother, have you not heard the term “sabr” and to control Nafs?

Dear sister, try going hungry for 10 days and then having sabr when a full course meal is laid before you. Try not thinking about it, not gazing at it. You have lots of heavenly fruits, dishes and drinks waiting for you in jannah.
Things are easier said than done, sister. The desperation is not about doing mutah, it is about the fear that their physical desires will lead them to commit some haram act, and suppressing the desires never works; all the frustration will pile up and erupt in the future in an uglier form, and all hell will break loose. A person with carnal desires who is not marrying is living in a state of perpetual sinning- impure thoughts, haram fantasizing,haram glances, and all that. But your average undergraduate guy/girl does not have the means to get married and raise a family, and hence mutah comes in.

I agree though, that married men with healthy wives have no reason to seek sexual gratification elsewhere.
 

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33 minutes ago, Rayhana80 said:

What???? Where is this zina thing come from? I don’t understand why did you bring it up? Why people are so frustrated and desperate to do mutah where on the other hand they can practice abstinence and be patient. Men already have lots of hoorain waiting for them in heaven, why can’t they be just patient? Brother, have you not heard the term “sabr” and to control Nafs? To some extent I can understand someone unmarried practicing mutah but why married men whose wives are sexually compliant practicing it?? They are doing so because they have an easy access to it. 

I don't see the problem. Our religion recommends this practice, Islam does not preach that sex is evil and that sexual abstinence is virtuous like Christianity does. Mut'a is not a disliked act, it is a mustahab act. Human beings have sexual desires which is perfectly natural and they can fulfill them through mut'a. People especially youth are going to have sex either way, it might as well be the halal way. You can pretend it doesn't happen but this is the reality. 

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On 4/11/2018 at 2:10 AM, Shi3i_jadeed said:

I don't see the problem. Our religion recommends this practice, Islam does not preach that sex is evil and that sexual abstinence is virtuous like Christianity does. Mut'a is not a disliked act, it is a mustahab act. Human beings have sexual desires which is perfectly natural and they can fulfill them through mut'a. People especially youth are going to have sex either way, it might as well be the halal way. You can pretend it doesn't happen but this is the reality. 

“ Mut'a is not a disliked act, it is a mustahab act.” 

Really? Are you serious? LOL Is it really a mustahab act? Then why not every one is practicing it like the other mustahab acts like sunnah salaat, or mustahab fasting? Brother sorry to burst your bubble but you are living in a world of ignorance, many so called mullahs use religion for their own benefit, make it look like you are getting reward for practicing it. Only Allah knows the truth and in Quran it never says it’s a mustahab act so go have as many mutahs  as long as you live. Duh! There is a lot of other things to ponder on and I am disgusted the way you are defending it without solid grounds. 

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1 hour ago, Rayhana80 said:

“ Mut'a is not a disliked act, it is a mustahab act.” 

Really? Are you serious? LOL Is it really a mustahab act? Then why not every one is practicing it like the other mustahab acts like sunnah salaat, or mustahab fasting? Brother sorry to burst your bubble but you are living in a world of ignorance, many so called mullahs use religion for their own benefit, make it look like you are getting reward for practicing it. Only Allah knows the truth and in Quran it never says it’s a mustahab act so go have as many mutahs  as long as you live. Duh! There is a lot of other things to ponder on and I am disgusted the way you are defending it without solid grounds. 

It is a mustahab act because it is marriage and marriage is a mustahabat in itself. 

 

If, for example, a guy has mutah with 10 different women at once and these relationships involve lying to them or not following the rules regarding non mahram or not fulfilling the terms of the contract he has with each one of them, then the lying is a sin, not following the rules of non mahram is a sin, and not fulfilling his contract with them is a sin, but the marriage itself is still mustahab(assuming the marriage is a valid aqd). Ask anyone who is knowledgeable regarding fiqh and they will tell you this also. 

The problem comes when people assume that either the brother or sister who is doing aqd of mutah is also doing those other things. Some are but some are not, just like some who are permenantely married (zawaj nikha) do those things, others do not. The origin of the dislike of mutah and the thinking of mutah as not 'real marriage' comes from Omar Al Khattab, not from Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) or Imams of Ahl Al Bayt(a.s). Imam Ali(a.s.) said in a famous hadith,

'If it wasn't for the act of Omar (prohibiting mutah), noone of the muslims would ever do zinah(adultry) except for the most wicked amoung them'. 

And betting is haram, but If it wasn't I would bet anyone on this site that 90% of the brothers and sisters on this site who are in their late teens or older and still single, marriage is actually wajib for them because they are either doing haram or inclining toward haram because they are not married. The ruling that marriage becomes wajib when a person (man or women) is falling into haram as a result of being single is common to all marjaa that I am familiar with. So mutah in some cases is wajib, (if a person is falling into sin and not able to get permenantely married) whereas Sunnah Salat and Mustahab fasting is never wajib. So they are different, you are right. You are also right that probably many on this site do Mustahab Fasting and do Sunnah Salat and probably very few do mutah(I am not saying it is not good to do Mustahab fasting and Sunnah Salat, of course it is very good to do these things). But that is culture, not Islam and it doesn't change the preceding facts. 

 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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