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In the Name of God بسم الله
Aflower

Would you marry her?

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7 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

No I had been a Muslim for around 2 years when we met I knew a family member of his she said he was a very good guy, he made lot of nice promises ect 

Also another reason of mutah being ok with me is I have a young child i would like to see if my child  and him will get along for something more long term

Edited by Sisterfatima1

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3 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

I wouldn't be happy but  if that's what my daughter wanted, I wouldn't stop her. I'd tell her "every action has an equal and opposite reaction; a consequence."

  @Gaius I. Caesar  Hmmmm... I have a daughter and there were a lot of things I thought I'd be cool with but now I'm like: "nooooooooo". But thanks for the candid reply. 

Edited by Aflower

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4 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Why not marry a person?

Mutah is marriage. Please remember this. 

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I would, if it's halal then why not? 

The Prophet (Allah's peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: 

'If a human dies, his work is (ceased), except from three: S'adaqa (charity) Jaria, or knowledge that (helps humanity), or a faithful son that prays for him.' 

The Prophet (Allah's peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:

'That from the (work) that continues with the faithful after his death, knowledge that he taught and spread, and a faithful son that he left, and a Holy Qu'ran that he inherited, or a mosque that he built, or a house for the Ibn al-Sabeel, or a river that he flowed ــ Or a charity that he gave from his money in his health and life, will continue (after his death).', i.e., their reward will continue. 

The Prophet (Allah's peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: 

'That when a man reads The Holy Qur'an, his father will eat from the delights of paradise.' 

 

O' Allah make our children from the faithful, and give us pious sons and daughters. Amen. 

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On 4/3/2018 at 12:14 AM, Hameedeh said:

Mutah is marriage. Please remember this. 

Temporary marriage. 

On 4/2/2018 at 8:19 PM, Sisterfatima1 said:

I’d rather do mutah and know someone then marry fast for permentant so we don’t haram 

then I marry someone like my ex who took ages to let me go and was very abusive 

Are Pre-Marital Contacts Necessary?

Ali Akber Mazaheri writes:
“The notion that a man and a woman must ‘know’ each other before they decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily together is an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies which practice it would not have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily.”1
The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as gheebat under certain conditions.)
We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process. Such things can have serious ramifications if exposed after marriage
The school of Ahle-Bait (A.S.) has not left us to follow our whims and fancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitable spouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness. 

Reference

So you can meet your potential spouse in public and can talk. Islam doesn't say that you cannot meet and talk before marriage. There are limitations but it is not haram. Also, Allah doesn't penalize a person for having a bad thought. As long as you are not committing a sin you should be fine. 

On 4/2/2018 at 8:12 PM, Gaius I. Caesar said:

"Why not buy a Lambo?" I don't have the means to invest or get a Lambo. 

Why worry about mutah, you're married. It is people's Islamic right to do mutah.  Regardless of how or what  you, I or anybody else thinks about mutah.

Remember, the one who banned mutah was a mere man, who not a Prophet, called Muhammad (saws) "delirious" and he hurt Fatima (sa) .

Solutions:

1. Allah's Supports

Allah and the leaders of Islam have given a lot of good news and hope in this regard, which can be very hopeful and trusting supports for the youth. It is obligatory and binding upon us to have complete satisfaction about these promises and news. Their promises and commitments are true. There could be no more hope - giving and enthusiasm - creating thing than this support for the youth who intend to marry but find the economical difficulties a hurdle and hindrance on their way. Faith in this support brings about a great courage and valour in a man. Now we consider a few of those.

Allah promises:

و أنكحوا الأيامي منكم والصالحين من عبادكم و إمائكم إن يكونوا فقراء يغنهم الله من فضله والله واسع عليم

“And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, knowing. (24:32)”

This is a clear, distinct and conspicuous promise of Allah; and which promise can be more trusting than Allah's?

Young brother and sister, be satisfied and absolutely sure about this promises of Allah, then you will see the definite and bright result of it, Insha’Allah.

I have personally seen and observed and touched this in many cases among my friends and acquaintances who did not have a house or wealth at the time of their marriage, but later on became house owners and wealthy. Very rarely have I seen people possessing a house and material sources before marriage.

I know only two of these cases where some people were provided with a house and money before marriage, but interestingly, they too were confronted with a cold, spiritless, and purposeless life due to them putting off and delaying their marriage for the procurement of house and money; since they wasted the spring of marriage that is the valuable period of youth till the “autumn of life” appeared.

The Good News Given By The Leaders of Islam

The Prophet (S) who is the trustee of Allah's mysteries and secrets spoke about Allah’s help to the youth as follows:

زوجوا أياماكم فإن الله يحسن لهم في أخلاقهم و يوسع لهم في أرزاقهم

و يزيدهم في مرواتهم.

“Give spouse to your single ones, because Allah makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage)

and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values).” 1

Yet again he says:

من ترك التزويج مخافة العيلة فقد ساء الظن بالله. إن الله يقول: إن

يكونوا فقراء يغنهم الله من فضله.

“The one who forsakes and drops marriage for fear of poverty and adversity, indeed he has a bad (negative) opinion and thought about Allah. Verily Allah said: 'If they are poor, Allah will turn them needless by His grace.'“ 2

Again that magnanimous one says to the youth:

إتخذوا الأهل فإنه أرزق لكم

.

“Get spouses, as that increases your sustenance.” 3

الرزق مع النساء والعيال.

“Sustenance is with wives and family.” 4

A Beautiful Example

A young man who was extremely poor and penniless came into the presence of the holy Prophet (S) and complained to him about his poverty and adversity, and requested his guidance, saying:

“Oh Prophet of Allah, what must I do to get out of this condition of extreme poverty and apprehension?”

The Prophet said: “Do marry!”

The young man was surprised and said to himself,

“How can I, who do not have enough means to run my own life's expenses, marry and shoulder the responsibility and expenses of wife an myself together?”

However, since he was completely sure about the correctness of the saying of the Muhammad (S) and believed in its truth, did get married and his life gradually and economically improved. he came out of the state of poverty and misery.

Deep attention to this good news and true promises projects sureness about Allah's aid and help in the human heart, so that one marries and is not afraid of the difficulties, hardships and hindrances.

And it is taken for granted that when a youth marries for the pleasure of Allah, implementation of His command and remaining safe and secure from the corruptions and spiritual and physical ailments, and also for the sake of progress, completion and prosperity, Allah's beneficence and kindness would overwhelm him, and His help would come to make him reach his sacred aim.

Reference

I am not against mutah, but now its just a mean of getting [EDIT]. People abuse this option as they are doing with halala. 

Edited by Hameedeh

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What's with all of this talk? If a man and a woman want to do something and Allah SWT has made it halal, then why are we talking about this?! My/your opinion of its "dirty" or not is not going to change the rules of Allah SWT. I don't want to accuse anyone for saying this, but it seems to be that some doubt the ruling of Allah SWT. Nobody can give a better ruling than Allah SWT. So let's not say it's dirty or anything for then we are saying Allah's rulings are dirty (astag)

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18 hours ago, Hugo Boss said:

What's with all of this talk? If a man and a woman want to do something and Allah SWT has made it halal, then why are we talking about this?! My/your opinion of its "dirty" or not is not going to change the rules of Allah SWT. I don't want to accuse anyone for saying this, but it seems to be that some doubt the ruling of Allah SWT. Nobody can give a better ruling than Allah SWT. So let's not say it's dirty or anything for then we are saying Allah's rulings are dirty (astag)

@Hugo Boss

@Arkon

@Mansur Bakhtiari

No-one is saying that mutah is 'dirty'. At least, Allah never intended for it to be 'dirty'. Some of us are merely pointing out that like all things, there are some people who abuse/misuse the halal rulings. If two grown up, consenting and mature individuals willingly engage in a mutah; whilst being fully aware of the benefits and pitfalls, then surely no-one is against it in that scenario.  At the same time, is someone is not comfortable with the idea of engaging in a mutah; or marrying someone in Nikah who has had a mutah, then that is personal choice. That choice must be respected. To re-iterate, no-one is saying that mutah is dirty. 

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6 minutes ago, Aflower said:

No-one is saying that mutah is 'dirty'. At least, Allah never intended for it to be 'dirty'. Some of us are merely pointing out that like all things, there are some people who abuse/misuse the halal rulings. If two grown up, consenting and mature individuals willingly engage in a mutah; whilst being fully aware of the benefits and pitfalls, then surely no-one is against it in that scenario.  At the same time, is someone is not comfortable with the idea of engaging in a mutah; or marrying someone in Nikah who has had a mutah, then that is personal choice. That choice must be respected. To re-iterate, no-one is saying that mutah is dirty. 

If someone were to do mutah with such person, then they need to accept their choices of what they have done to others as well. Simply as that

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1 minute ago, Hugo Boss said:

If someone were to do mutah with such person, then they need to accept their choices of what they have done to others as well. Simply as that

@Hugo Boss

I'm sorry but what you wrote makes no sense to me. In any case, it appears we must agree to disagree as I will not keep posting to prove my perspective is right. JA. 

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Just now, Aflower said:

@Hugo Boss

I'm sorry but what you wrote makes no sense to me. In any case, it appears we must agree to disagree as I will not keep posting to prove my perspective is right. JA. 

what I meant was if one were to do mutah with a woman that has done mutah, then so be it? Ever heard of "widows"?

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9 minutes ago, Aflower said:

@Hugo Boss

Did you even read what I wrote to you? I didn't say you were wrong did I? 

I jjst don't buy when people say we did mutah to get to know someone like sister fatima said. There are man people out there who were friends or boyfriend/girlfriend for a log time before marriage but when they get married they realize that they were not meant to be together. I know people who were married for years, but after like 15 20 years guy leaves a woman because now he likes someone else. Mutah or staying few months together doesn't mean that everything will be fine in future. Islam does allow you to talk to each other before marriage, and you could meeting in publicy and talk. 

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1 minute ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

I jjst don't buy when people say we did mutah to get to know someone like sister fatima said. There are man people out there who were friends or boyfriend/girlfriend for a log time before marriage but when they get married they realize that they were not meant to be together. I know people who were married for years, but after like 15 20 years guy leaves a woman because now he likes someone else. Mutah or staying few months together doesn't mean that everything will be fine in future. Islam does allow you to talk to each other before marriage, and you could meeting in publicy and talk. 

@Ron_Burgundy I agree with you. In the west people date for years before marriage but still end up getting divorced. But, we must respect that people have different viewpoints. I too don't understand why @Hugo Bosswould link mutahs with a widow? Is a widow not worthy of nikah? That in itself speaks volumes about his thought process on the matter! 

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1 hour ago, Aflower said:

@Hugo Boss

Did you even read what I wrote to you? I didn't say you were wrong did I? 

@Hugo Boss

When I say that I didn't say you were wrong, I meant that I respect that you have your own opinion which differs from mine. I have my own opinion, which is in alignment to @Ron_Burgundy

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5 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

Mutah is halal 

it is a marriage 

end of subject 

@Sisterfatima1

There is not one person on this entire post who has questioned/challenged or said the opposite to what you have stated. There is no doubt about the fact that:

1. Mutah is halal

2. It is a marriage

I'm sure that all the shia brothers and sisters will agree with you and this is not what this post is debating/questioning.

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5 hours ago, Aflower said:

@Sisterfatima1

There is not one person on this entire post who has questioned/challenged or said the opposite to what you have stated. There is no doubt about the fact that:

1. Mutah is halal

2. It is a marriage

I'm sure that all the shia brothers and sisters will agree with you and this is not what this post is debating/questioning.

The correct version of this according to current community standards would be 

1. Mutah is halal

2. It is a marriage

3. Unless it is my daughter, sister, female cousin,bff,potential spouse. Then it is absolutely haram

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2 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

The correct version of this according to current community standards would be 

1. Mutah is halal

2. It is a marriage

3. Unless it is my daughter, sister, female cousin,bff. Then it is absolutely haram

@Abu Hadi

What a great sense of humour you have. Flying high five for that comment. You literally have me in tears with laughter. You are on point as always!

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5 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

The correct version of this according to current community standards would be 

1. Mutah is halal

2. It is a marriage

3. Unless it is my daughter, sister, female cousin,bff,potential spouse. Then it is absolutely haram

Why is mutah haram

because some may have “sex”

my goodness they could be doing worse

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3 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Why is mutah haram

because some may have “sex”

my goodness they could be doing worse

Salam This rules is about Mahram & Non Mahram that is fixed & non changeable  for Mutah & Marriage.

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On 3/15/2018 at 8:34 AM, Aflower said:

Given that mutahs are allowed, would the brothers have an issue with having a Nikah with a woman who adhered to Islam in almost every way (i.e. wore a scarf, read namaaz etc), but had multiple mutahs previously? Would it bother you that your wife was not a virgin and had possibly had multiple partners; albeit in a completely halal and legit way? Please be honest.  

Well, If you promise me to grant permission from my wife, I will have not problem in it. It will not bother me at all :D

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6 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Why is mutah haram

because some may have “sex”

my goodness they could be doing worse

@Sisterfatima1

The third point that @Abu Hadi made was tongue in cheek humour. He was not serious! 

Of course we could be "doing worse", as you state. Marriage (be it nikah or mutah) is sacrosanct and within it s** is sacred. It is the union of two lives, bodies and souls. This is exactly why we should not make light of it.  

 

Edited by Aflower

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Your question is asking if guys would be okay to marry a girl who has done mutah correct?

So obviously some will say and some will say no. Its interesting to read why they would answer correspondingly but this thread members should respect each members decisions and not bash them

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On 01/04/2018 at 3:16 PM, bigboi said:

what was the purpose for many mutahs?

was it intercourse, physical protection, financial protection or something else.

I honestly find it weird with woman who had several mutahs.

why only 'weird' when a woman has several mutah? its okay for men to do it ? mind you a majority of men most likely do it for intercourse anyway so even if the sister did it i don't see why the reaction should differ ....

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Honestly It would bother me, but I am not perfect, who is? It is a flaw that needs to be cut down.

Honestly It actually goes both sides, I wish men were like that as well, not female hungry. Like save themselves for the right wife.

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On 4/4/2018 at 11:11 AM, Aflower said:

No-one is saying that mutah is 'dirty'. At least, Allah never intended for it to be 'dirty'. Some of us are merely pointing out that like all things, there are some people who abuse/misuse the halal rulings. If two grown up, consenting and mature individuals willingly engage in a mutah; whilst being fully aware of the benefits and pitfalls, then surely no-one is against it in that scenario.  At the same time, is someone is not comfortable with the idea of engaging in a mutah; or marrying someone in Nikah who has had a mutah, then that is personal choice. That choice must be respected. To re-iterate, no-one is saying that mutah is dirty

Fair enough, but nobody has the right to object to a couple getting a halal marriage.

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On 3/15/2018 at 3:01 AM, Hussaini624 said:

I'd rather marry a woman who has not been married yet at all, mutah or permanent, so we can both start our spiritual life together with the sacred bond of marriage and experience all the outcomes together firsthand.

Given, I would not marry anyone unless they are pious/religious. But only if Allah wills.

Thank you for clarifying it that women who are engaged in act of multiple mutah are not pious. I had a long debate on other topics with men supporting mutah, couldn’t find anyone who consider it a taboo in our Shia community. Men use Islam for their own personal gains. So sad, may Allah guide us all on the right path. 

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On 3/14/2018 at 11:34 PM, Aflower said:

Given that mutahs are allowed, would the brothers have an issue with having a Nikah with a woman who adhered to Islam in almost every way (i.e. wore a scarf, read namaaz etc), but had multiple mutahs previously? Would it bother you that your wife was not a virgin and had possibly had multiple partners; albeit in a completely halal and legit way? Please be honest.  

Jazakallah khair for posting such an important question. Men have double standards when it comes to mutah marraige. My husband was engaged in mutah for several years without my knowledge and he even has a child with one of his mutah marraige that he hid for so many years. Now my question is if it decent and accepted thing then why men feel so ashamed about it? When we do Nikkah we invite people and let the whole world know that we are getting married than why for muta marriages people become so secretive? If husbands proudly introduce their real wives to the world than why do they hide their mutah wives? Have you ever seen anyone talking openly about having mutah marraiges? “NO” it clearly indicates that it’s a shameful act and people should avoid it. Unfortunately some of the selfish people in our community make it a joke, they practice it like it’s their right, they don’t know there are conditions involved and it doesn’t apply on everyone. 

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2 hours ago, Rayhana80 said:

Thank you for clarifying it that women who are engaged in act of multiple mutah are not pious. I had a long debate on other topics with men supporting mutah, couldn’t find anyone who consider it a taboo in our Shia community. Men use Islam for their own personal gains. So sad, may Allah guide us all on the right path. 

Salam, sorry if you misunderstood my comment.

My last comment was just in general, had nothing to do with mut'ah.

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Some people seriously need to grow up......just because an idiotic cultural taboo and a mindset of double-standards happens to surround mutah in certain societies, it doesn't automatically become an impious, lewd or shameful act. 

That's the ABUSE of the law, and NOT the law itself! Learn to distinguish between facts and perception. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى almighty legislates laws according to objective needs, harms and benefits, and your subjective perception counts for NOTHING !

Hundreds of women abuse the laws on sexual harassment each year to settle scores with their male colleagues/bosses, does that mean we should scrap those laws?  

Hundreds of car accidents happen each year. Should we take cars off the road?

Instead of whining about the law itself, kindly exert your faculties to help educate the society, especially the youngsters, against the ABUSE of the law- our maraja have outlined conditions where it ought NOT to be performed. There are youngsters out there who genuinely need this outlet.

Stop raving and come to your senses!

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