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In the Name of God بسم الله
Aflower

Would you marry her?

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10 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

There's nothing haram about wanting to be special in that regard though. Of course treatment is more important, I agree. I just want to feel happy.

Ok let me ask you a question 

which would you choose 

1. A virgin who was rude to you,did not respect you, was not praying, did not make you happy 

2.divorced. Respectful made you happy was praying and fasting 

im not saying these above statements are in anyway true about either side 

I’m just making a point you can’t choose who you love 

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19 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Ok let me ask you a question 

which would you choose 

1. A virgin who was rude to you,did not respect you, was not praying, did not make you happy 

2.divorced. Respectful made you happy was praying and fasting 

im not saying these above statements are in anyway true about either side 

I’m just making a point you can’t choose who you love 

No. 2, because she's experienced tough times in life by her previous marriage, and needs the affection and care to help recover from the pain. Also, since she's already been abused she knows it's wrong and would treat her new husband way better than the old one treated her, since she wouldn't want anyone to feel how she felt.

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54 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Ok let me ask you a question 

which would you choose 

1. A virgin who was rude to you,did not respect you, was not praying, did not make you happy 

2.divorced. Respectful made you happy was praying and fasting 

im not saying these above statements are in anyway true about either side 

I’m just making a point you can’t choose who you love 

#2 because priorities

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On 4/1/2018 at 3:57 AM, Ron_Burgundy said:

Men are born with jealous gene. 

What an lame excuse.

On 4/1/2018 at 3:57 AM, Ron_Burgundy said:

I have never done mutah so why would I accept a girl who has done. 

It's halal and there is no shame in it, so why be against it?

On 3/31/2018 at 9:02 PM, Sumerian said:

Last resort.

Marrying you would be a last resort for most women.  By the way, your standards about virginity are un-Islamic, we aren't Christians.

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7 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Marrying you would be a last resort for most women.  By the way, your standards about virginity are un-Islamic, we aren't Christians.

Not really. Like I said, the scholars have said marrying a virgin is recommended. So you should tell them they're being Christian.

And trust me, it's not a last resort when it comes to me. I could get married 4 times in the next 4 months and I ain't even 20 years old yet, just saying. Once you got the sauce, then you got the sauce.

6 hours ago, Reza said:

:surrender:

See, that's why you can't get your priorities straight. I can throw shade at you but you'll probably ban me, that's all I'll say.

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@Ron_Burgundy In response to your below qn,  she did not as she is divorced and she believes it is therefore not obligatory to seek her father's permission. The reason for so many mutahs is because despite being a model muslim in every way; she can't seem to find someone who will marry her in permanent Nikah. She claims that she has engaged in so many mutahs for companionship and company. Though personally I believe that she harbored hopes that the mutahs would lead to a permanent Nikah but no one was forthcoming. To re-iterate; this is my opinion.
14 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:
Question: did he get permission from her father/guardian do have mutah with her?

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16 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Well I am a possessive man, and of course it will bother me. She might have some high expectations from me. Men are born with jealous gene. 

I have never done mutah so why would I accept a girl who has done. 

This sort of attitude is good. But some men expect virgin wives when they themselves do not meet those standards or even try to meet them. It really gets on my nerves. 

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15 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

It's halal and there is no shame in it, so why be against it?

I don't know man. I know its halal, but i am not a big fan of it, and i won't feel comfortable. I know it will bother me so why would i take a chance.

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On 4/1/2018 at 6:14 PM, Sumerian said:

Once you got the sauce, then you got the sauce.

Sorry, I don't understand hip and jive, speak English. Nikah isn't just about intercourse, that's only just a mere facet of the whole picture. 

On 4/1/2018 at 6:14 PM, Sumerian said:

And trust me, it's not a last resort when it comes to me. I could get married 4 times in the next 4 months and I ain't even 20 years old yet,

 

On 3/31/2018 at 9:02 PM, Sumerian said:

Last resort.

And you were saying?^  Don't lecture us about priorities when you can't get yours straight. 

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16 hours ago, Aflower said:

 

I always say Mutah is for kids. It is for those who don't want any kind of responsibility. In mutah woman comes without any baggage. Its like leasing a car, you drive it for couple of months show off and after few months you upgrade to better/different model, and not a lot of people keep their leased car. 

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On 4/1/2018 at 12:44 AM, Khadim uz Zahra said:

Isn't it also Sunnah to marry divorced women, given the Prophet married many divorcees? He certainly didn't treat it as a last resort because he could have married any woman in the community he wanted but still chose to willingly marry divorced women. Also, does the fact that divorcees often find it hard to find a husband in our current society not make marrying them mutsahab by itself, given that you would be helping to alleviate the distress of a believing woman, which is most definitely a good deed?

Marrying a divorcee is different then marrying a woman who had 4,5,6.... Mutah nikahs. 

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49 minutes ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

I always say Mutah is for kids. It is for those who don't want any kind of responsibility. In mutah woman comes without any baggage. Its like leasing a car, you drive it for couple of months show off and after few months you upgrade to better/different model, and not a lot of people keep their leased car. 

@Ron_Burgundy

I think that (sadly) this is actually how most men view mutahs in reality; but very few have the gumption to say so out of fear that it would be deemed as politically incorrect.

I don't knw why women put themselves through a mutah willingly when most men treat it as no more than a "test-drive" or a halal "quickie". A Nikah can be ended in the same way a mutah can. If a man was genuine in his intention he would ask for a Nikah. Most men want mutahs to be a secret because they consider it to be their dirty secret. I have never known a mutah to conclude in Nikah. A woman always has so much more to lose from this arrangement as women tend to get emotionally entangled where as for men it tends to be purely physical.  

Edited by Aflower

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9 hours ago, Aflower said:

I don't knw why women put themselves through a mutah willingly when most men treat it as no more than a "test-drive" or a halal "quickie". A Nikah can be ended in the same way a mutah can. If a man was genuine in his intention he would ask for a Nikah. Most men want mutahs to be a secret because they consider it to be their dirty secret. I have never known a mutah to conclude in Nikah. A woman always has so much more to lose from this arrangement as women tend to get emotionally entangled where as for men it tends to be purely physical.  

I agree with you. [EDIT]

Edited by Hameedeh
Inappropriate language.

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9 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

[EDIT]

Nothing wrong with getting [EDIT], treating it as a dirty little secret is very wrong though. @Aflower @Ron_Burgundy

^The shame of mutah is purely cultural and un-Islamic thinking.

Edited by Hameedeh
EDIT in the quote and the reply.

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8 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Sorry, I don't understand hip and jive, speak English. Nikah isn't just about intercourse, that's only just a mere facet of the whole picture. 

 

 

And you were saying?^  Don't lecture us about priorities when you can't get yours straight. 

You are confused lol

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9 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

I agree with you. [EDIT]

Well to have you know 

I’ve been in a mutah before and it wasn’t in a way to get [EDIT] as you are saying 

you are so disgusting 

Some use it as a halal way to know each other 

Edited by Hameedeh
EDIT in the quote and the reply.

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2 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Well to have you know 

I’ve been in a mutah before and it wasn’t in a way to get [EDIT] as you are saying 

you are so disgusting 

Some use it as a halal way to know each other 

Someone is angry. How am i so disgusting? 

So did you marry a same person? and why did you do mutah? 

Edited by Hameedeh
EDIT in the quote.

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1 minute ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

What are haram thoughts?

Thinking about sex, murder, theft, doing drugs, etc.

Although that doesn't make mutah haram.

14 minutes ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Why not marry a person?

"Why not buy a Lambo?" I don't have the means to invest or get a Lambo. 

Why worry about mutah, you're married. It is people's Islamic right to do mutah.  Regardless of how or what  you, I or anybody else thinks about mutah.

Remember, the one who banned mutah was a mere man, who not a Prophet, called Muhammad (saws) "delirious" and he hurt Fatima (sa) .

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1 minute ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Thinking about sex, murder, theft, doing drugs, etc.

Although that doesn't make mutah haram.

"Why not buy a Lambo?" I don't have the means to invest or get a Lambo. 

Why worry about mutah, you're married. It is people's Islamic right to do mutah.  Regardless of how or what  you, I or anybody else thinks about mutah.

Remember, the one who banned mutah was a mere man, who not a Prophet, called Muhammad (saws) "delirious" and he hurt Fatima (sa) .

Guess he don’t realise guilt 

if a woman and man are laughing and talking it’s haram 

some don’t want to feel guilt of it so they do mutah to know each other 

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1 hour ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

What are haram thoughts?

And btw it takes a lifetime to know someone. 

I’d rather do mutah and know someone then marry fast for permentant so we don’t haram 

then I marry someone like my ex who took ages to let me go and was very abusive 

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6 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Nothing wrong with getting [EDIT], treating it as a dirty little secret is very wrong though. @Aflower @Ron_Burgundy

^The shame of mutah is purely cultural and un-Islamic thinking.

@Gaius I. Caesar Knowing how men tend to utilise this; just curious to know if, hypothetically speaking, the guys would endorse this to their daughters/sisters/nieces/aunts etc. Many may say "yes" on a public forum but I doubt they would actually do so!

Edited by Aflower

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1 hour ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

I’d rather do mutah and know someone then marry fast for permentant so we don’t haram 

then I marry someone like my ex who took ages to let me go and was very abusive 

@Sisterfatima1 Do people not have any sense control? 

Edited by Aflower

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1 hour ago, Aflower said:

@Sisterfatima1 Do people not have any sense control? 

I was in a permentant marriage and believe me what he did to me would give some users nightmares 

so yes I don’t think mutah is wrong to get to know someone and see how they are as a husband 

Edited by Sisterfatima1

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9 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

I was in a permentant marriage and believe me what he did to me would give some users nightmares 

so yes I don’t think mutah is wrong to get to know someone and see how they are as a husband 

@Sisterfatima1Sister you are obviously mature; sensible and wise and hence you are using mutahs the way they are intended to be used. I simply worry about the more vulnerable and naive girls who could possibly get used and abused - especially because so many mutahs are done secretly and hence they have no one to turn to/confide in. I wonder how many men mislead girls into falsely believing that if the mutah period goes well then they will go permanent with a Nikah but then don't after they've got what they want. Often a woman expects that it will lead to more but it rarely does. That leaves the woman confused; in a state of self doubt with loss of self-worth, used and cheated.

Edited by Aflower

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42 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

was in a permentant marriage and believe me what he did to me would give some users nightmares

That is sad. Did you marry him because you newly converted and just wanted a Muslim guy? You must of made so much sacrifice to be on the path of Ahlulbayt (as) - you absolutely didn't deserve a guy like that.

I wish newly converts don't rush into things, because they are at a state where they just wanna quickly marry a Shia guy without being too picky.

So yeah I respect you for your decision to enter a mutah contract.

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20 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

That is sad. Did you marry him because you newly converted and just wanted a Muslim guy? You must of made so much sacrifice to be on the path of Ahlulbayt (as) - you absolutely didn't deserve a guy like that.

I wish newly converts don't rush into things, because they are at a state where they just wanna quickly marry a Shia guy without being too picky.

So yeah I respect you for your decision to enter a mutah contract.

No I had been a Muslim for around 2 years when we met I knew a family member of his she said he was a very good guy, he made lot of nice promises ect 

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2 minutes ago, Aflower said:

@Gaius I. Caesar Knowing how men tend to utilise this; just curious to know if, hypothetically speaking, the guys would endorse this to their daughters/sisters/nieces/aunts etc. Many may "yes" on a public forum but I doubt they would actually do so!

I wouldn't be happy but  if that's what my daughter wanted, I wouldn't stop her. I'd tell her "every action has an equal and opposite reaction; a consequence."

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