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When the women is jealous

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On 3/10/2018 at 11:27 PM, monad said:

women will never agree even when they are wrong unless she has matured and the agreement is in her favor. Females under 30 are like little children

I'm a women and I'm 26 and i do not think the way you stated. Don't generalize, it is unjust. In the end what are you expecting to find on an online thread? Pious women?

22 hours ago, monad said:

One always has to be the dominant gender. if women want to be dominant, then they must be dominant ALWAYS, not when they FEEL like it. Man is naturally dominant, even if that male is in the lowest denominator of the male population.

There is no such thing as Dominant women, and there won't be, ever. Women who think that are probably immature and are Feminists who have been traumatized, or whom their upbringing was missing something regarding to the social concept that we call inequality of sex. Anyway i don't understand how a women would dominate her man... If i dominated a man I'd leave him right away because there is no chance on earth that i would ever fall in love with him, or even choose to understand and get to know him.

In islam women and men are equal to a certain extent, but we should accept that both of us have very different tasks that makes us very different. For example look at the privilege that a mother can have in shia islam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L_qt6Z0iAY&feature=youtu.be

In our sect a women can't be a marjaa, why? Because women are obviously driven by their emotions and this thread is a big proof of this. But once we are able to truly and effectively control our emotions and stop being driven by them then we have the chance to achieve much higher ranks than our scholars.

Edited by yasahebalzaman.313

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On 2018-03-10 at 10:37 PM, Sumerian said:

But every single Arab-English dictionary I checked says gheerah is jealousy. In fact, the hadith says "gheerah in women is kufr" so would protection be a bad thing for women? That makes no sense. It's jealousy and that's that.

There is no word for gheerah in the english language, thats the problem.

If a man would come up to your sister and talk inappropriately with her, would you describe the feeling you feel as jealousy then? It does not make sense.

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On 2018-03-11 at 12:36 AM, andres said:

Is there any solution for a family where a man has wedded 4 women, and finds out that he himself is the cause of them producing no children? Or will he, and namely his 4 wives, have to live with this? 

Of course I understand the Quran is the reason that a woman cannot marry more than one man at a time. Where in the Quran can this be found?

 

Yes, they can adopts children as well, so many poor orphans after all these wars and chaos, why not?

To adopt a child is something very very great and it brings blessings to your family.

If a man is unable to have children but the wife is and she is not okay with adopting but still wants a child, then he could divorce her and she could marry someone who is able to give her children, usually they stick together though because they love each other more than that.

If my wife would not be able to have a child I would not want to divorce her because of that.

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2 hours ago, IbnSina said:

If a man is unable to have children but the wife is and she is not okay with adopting but still wants a child, then he could divorce her and she could marry someone who is able to give her children. 

"he could divorce her". Sounds like if "she could divorce him" is not an option. Does the husband have veto that his wife has not got? Or am I being prejudiced? 

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21 minutes ago, andres said:

"he could divorce her". Sounds like if "she could divorce him" is not an option. Does the husband have veto that his wife has not got? Or am I being prejudiced? 

She can also divorce him, if she asks for the right to divorce when you enter the marriage contract and then if the guy accepts that term, then like any other contract, you have to honor it.

If she does not ask for it, then Islamically speaking, there are only certain cases were she still can divorce him, I dont know the details but to my understanding it is such cases as the guy being a drug addict, abusive or such cases that makes the marriage invalid such as if the guy becomes a non muslim later on, there are islamic fiqh (law) books written on these subjects.

Anyways, most women asks for the right to divorce nowadays.

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21 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

She can also divorce him, if she asks for the right to divorce when you enter the marriage contract and then if the guy accepts that term, then like any other contract, you have to honor it.

If she does not ask for it, then Islamically speaking, there are only certain cases were she still can divorce him, I dont know the details but to my understanding it is such cases as the guy being a drug addict, abusive or such cases that makes the marriage invalid such as if the guy becomes a non muslim later on, there are islamic fiqh (law) books written on these subjects.

Anyways, most women asks for the right to divorce nowadays.

Thanks. And must the husband to secure his right to divorce, also have this written in the contract?

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4 minutes ago, andres said:

Thanks. And must the husband to secure his right to divorce, also have this written in the contract?

No, he can divorce for pretty much any reason, but that does not mean he wont stand answer for it.

More rights just means more responsibility and more responsibility means more accountability.

For example:

A man can marry a young virgin girl and then divorce her the next morning, it is possible to do this, but it is not right to do this and he will be questioned about it.

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1 hour ago, IbnSina said:

No, he can divorce for pretty much any reason, but that does not mean he wont stand answer for it.

More rights just means more responsibility and more responsibility means more accountability.

For example:

A man can marry a young virgin girl and then divorce her the next morning, it is possible to do this, but it is not right to do this and he will be questioned about it.

Old fashioned laws from a time when women were not emancipated. Maybe suitable in Taleban land, but not in nations where women are as well educated, or even better than men. Like in Iran or Sweden. 

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2 minutes ago, andres said:

Old fashioned laws from a time when women were not emancipated. Maybe suitable in Taleban land, but not in nations where women are as well educated, or even better than men. Like in Iran or Sweden. 

Its the laws of the holy Qur'an, which we believe to be the laws of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى, the creator of the universe. Times change but human nature does not.

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12 hours ago, yasahebalzaman.313 said:

I'm a women and I'm 26 and i do not think the way you stated. Don't generalize, it is unjust. In the end what are you expecting to find on an online thread? Pious women?

you just disagreed with me. Case close. owned. :hahaha:

 

Duh, your posts in general show signs of aggressiveness and dominance. You are what you say you are not. owned x2

Edited by monad

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3 hours ago, IbnSina said:

Its the laws of the holy Qur'an, which we believe to be the laws of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى, the creator of the universe. Times change but human nature does not.

Culture, ethnics, moral and ideas all change. Judaism evolved from polytheistic Canaanean religion, Judaism changed from generation to the next splitting up into different branches. Christianity developed into many different congregations from te teachings of Jesus. Islam also developed into many different congregations from the teachings of one man, Muhammed. Religions also change. As everything changes, laws cannot stay the same as they were when King David ruled the Israelites. 

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7 minutes ago, andres said:

laws cannot stay the same as they were when King David ruled the Israelites. 

If that laws made by humans, they change everytime buy if they have divine root they will not change trough time.

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6 minutes ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

If that laws made by humans, they change everytime buy if they have divine root they will not change trough time.

I know Muslims believe that Quranic law existed before Muhammed. For everybody else this is nonsense. Nothing can be found in support of this claim. On the contrary. Many religions are known to preceed Islam, they all differ from Islam. Islam has also split up into different religions. 

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1 hour ago, monad said:

you just disagreed with me. Case close. owned. :hahaha:

 

Duh, your posts in general show signs of aggressiveness and dominance. You are what you say you are not. owned x2

I think you’re funny most of the time, but I believe this post reflects a level of immaturity. I believe you could have stated your point without resorting to childish insults and a desire to “win” an argument.

In addition, you telling the OP that her post shows signs of aggressiveness and/or dominance is your way of telling her to stop talking in general. It’s your way of telling her to shut down because you don’t like what she’s saying. To me, that signifies a need to prove yourself. This is also a sign of passive aggressiveness. 

Just because a woman states her views in a way that you think is unacceptable, it does not mean that she is aggressive or trying to win at a power struggle. The OP was agreeing with you on some things and trying to find common ground while expressing what she disagrees on, yet you decided to ignore her post and focus on having the last word. 

In fact, the OP is one the least aggressive females on this forum. So I suggest you at least do your part and present your arguments civily and with respect, not by childish power games and immaturity. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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I agree with @yasahebalzaman.313, @monad. Do not generalize all woman. Instead of judging woman for being immature (which many are, I won’t deny.) maybe you should focus on your own akhlaq and behavior. 

Often times, you attract what you are. If you hate immaturity in people, then set an example and try to be aware as to not repeat the same behavior that you hate in others. 

 

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2 hours ago, andres said:

Culture, ethnics, moral and ideas all change. Judaism evolved from polytheistic Canaanean religion, Judaism changed from generation to the next splitting up into different branches. Christianity developed into many different congregations from te teachings of Jesus. Islam also developed into many different congregations from the teachings of one man, Muhammed. Religions also change. As everything changes, laws cannot stay the same as they were when King David ruled the Israelites. 

The holy Qur'an does not change, even if you would like it to, sorry to break it to you, unlike modern Christians, we actually take our religion seriously.

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8 hours ago, IbnSina said:

The holy Qur'an does not change, even if you would like it to, sorry to break it to you, unlike modern Christians, we actually take our religion seriously.

Of course you do. So does Sunnies, Wahabies, Taleban, Lutherans, Catholics and Mormons. 

The holy Quran will not change, nor will the Bible. It is a matter of how to use them today.

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On ‎5‎/‎03‎/‎2018 at 6:17 PM, yasahebalzaman.313 said:

السلام عليكم

It is said that the jealousy of a man comes from protection, But the jealousy of a women is Kufr and comes from Envy. It is said by ahlulbayt (as) that Envy eats faith like the fire eats wood.

It is not as if there is a blanket mandate for men to be jealous per desire and in all circumstances. Jealousy and envy are an ill trait. If I am not mistaken, iblees was also jealous from Adam (but the essential source of his decline was his pride and stubbornness).

However, Islam has a way of addressing people in their specific societal roles. For example, the above saying concerns jealousy in men and women in their roles as husbands and wives. Islam has allowed women to marry one person at a time. Moreover, a husband has a natural tendency to protect his wife from external threats. Therefore, his emotions of jealousy against another man trying to approach his wife are viewed as a sign of faith. But since Islam has traditionally/historically allowed men to marry multiple wives at a time, a woman's jealousy in her role as a wife was seen as her lack of faith in God because she could not be patient regarding what had been allowed by Allah. 

That being said, it should not be assumed in today's era that the only reason women reject or do not allow their husbands to marry again is because of jealousy. Sure, jealousy is a factor. But, the purpose of marriage is to protect the institution of a family. Therefore, if a loyal, loving and a God-fearing wife fears that her immediate family will be ruined because of the misadventures of her husband, she has all the rights to question his motives and bring forth the Quranic condition of whether her husband will maintain justice.

But that's just my lay opinion. Please seek further guidance from scholars. 

 

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6 hours ago, Abbas. said:

It is not as if there is a blanket mandate for men to be jealous per desire and in all circumstances. Jealousy and envy are an ill trait. If I am not mistaken, iblees was also jealous from Adam (but the essential source of his decline was his pride and stubbornness).

However, Islam has a way of addressing people in their specific societal roles. For example, the above saying concerns jealousy in men and women in their roles as husbands and wives. Islam has allowed women to marry one person at a time. Moreover, a husband has a natural tendency to protect his wife from external threats. Therefore, his emotions of jealousy against another man trying to approach his wife are viewed as a sign of faith. But since Islam has traditionally/historically allowed men to marry multiple wives at a time, a woman's jealousy in her role as a wife was seen as her lack of faith in God because she could not be patient regarding what had been allowed by Allah. 

That being said, it should not be assumed in today's era that the only reason women reject or do not allow their husbands to marry again is because of jealousy. Sure, jealousy is a factor. But, the purpose of marriage is to protect the institution of a family. Therefore, if a loyal, loving and a God-fearing wife fears that her immediate family will be ruined because of the misadventures of her husband, she has all the rights to question his motives and bring forth the Quranic condition of whether her husband will maintain justice.

But that's just my lay opinion. Please seek further guidance from scholars. 

 

Salaam, 

 

Here is a good podcast about this subject. And  one that I feel reflects a balanced opinion of this. People in the podcast are all sunni, but that does not matter here. https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=2390s&v=-1syCpbAgp8

 

 

 

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On 12/03/2018 at 10:33 PM, IbnSina said:

There is no word for gheerah in the english language, thats the problem.

If a man would come up to your sister and talk inappropriately with her, would you describe the feeling you feel as jealousy then? It does not make sense.

Yes I would, and it does make sense. 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gheerah

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