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In the Name of God بسم الله

Muslim men who marry Christian women

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8 minutes ago, MuslimahAK said:

My mom was Christian. My biological father and my step-dad who raised me were both Muslim. My mom was pressured for me to be a Muslim, to be raised and to pray like my father. 

They would tell her over and over, that I needed to be in the religion of my father. 

At 14, my mom told me to choose. I studied Christianity and Islam. She wasn't supportive. I chose Christianity. She was happy I didn't choose Islam, but made fun of me for reading the Bible (she wasn't religious at all).

At 19, I studied them again, and chose Islam. 

So I think it really depends on how they choose to raise the kids. If the women submit, and let the children be raised as Muslim, I don't there would be a problem. 

This is exactly the issue sister 

everyone is stuck in their own beliefs 

so I think it’s better people marry from their own religion to avoid such conflicts 

and i mean no disrespect to your family by saying these words :) 

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1 minute ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

so I think it’s better people marry from their own religion to avoid such conflicts 

Salam I think one of best way of spreading Islam is marriage by other religions at first it might be difficult but when children choose their by research thy will be have better understanding of religion .

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Another issue - while Muslim men can marry other people of the book, Muslim women cannot do the same.  Assuming on average a 50-50 split between Muslim men and women, this can really put Muslim women at a disadvantage.

Although I feel that in many cases, Muslim men who marry non-Muslim women aren't really practicing Muslims in many ways.  Generally speaking, it is hard to marry a non Muslim without dating them first, and dating isn't exactly halal.

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Well, these days parents (generally speaking) have the following requirements:

1. Has to be a Shia [good]

2. Has to come from a practising family. [not necessarily if they are a good person, think reverts]

3. Must wear the Hijab. [good]

4. And many people even specify things like: Must be Iraqi, Must be Khoja, Must be Lebanese etc. [bad]

5. Must be willing to live in your town, and some even say in your own household looking after the mother in law and cleaning. [pathetic]

6. Add that to generic wants like chemistry, looks, piety, and other things... [understandable]

You're going to be left with a very small pool of people to ever choose from. Thankfully this doesn't apply to me, but a lot of people suffer from it.  Arguably speaking anyone who has the above conditions will likely only meet a handful people in their lives they are compatible with in that context and not even in the context of getting to know for marriage. Chances are you're going to settle.

Unless of course you're one of the unlucky ones whose parents have forced you into an arranged marriage, else they guilt trip you in a way only they can, and it is sad to have heard stories of that. 

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I don’t oppose Christian female/Muslim male marriages. I oppose those Muslim men who ignore all the eligibile, pious, all-around good girls, and marry some woman who barely can string a sentence in English together back from their home countries. 

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8 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I don’t oppose Christian female/Muslim male marriages. I oppose those Muslim men who ignore all the eligibile, pious, all-around good girls, and marry some woman who barely can string a sentence in English together back from their home countries. 

Well, It cause they like beauty, Christians have usually better apperance, cause they are from west. Men use it an opportunity to get those ''fine'' ladies. We men need to fix our desires, feelsbadman.

I am not calling muslims women ugly or something, I myself find the hijab attractive, and find them attractive.

Edited by Hamodiii
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I've never met a muslim man yet who sought out a Christian women for marriage. Obviously, a muslim man wants to marry a women who shares his religion and his values, and this is very important to most men. The only time they marry a Christian women is when they can't find a muslim women to marry, a suitable one. By suitable, I mean

1. Her family will accept him(which is not very easy most of the time)

2. She is reasonably attractive, close to him in age. 

3. Her / Her family don't have extremely ridiculous demands (like $100,000.00 for the mahr, I am not making that up)

4. They have similar goals / values in life

If those criteria are met, a muslim man will always choose a muslim women. 

I always advise the brothers to not marry a Christian women hoping that she will convert. If she converts after the marriage, most of the time the marriage will be filled with problems surrounding religion and raising children. 

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2 hours ago, Hassan- said:

Men marrying christian women is not permissible by obligatory caution according to many maraji' (Imam Khamenei, Sayed Sistani & etc). 

Is this permanent or temporary? If it is only permanent, isn't it a loophole to perform a temporary marriage for seventy years - although i had read somewhere there are safe guards to avoid that. 

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men marry whom ever they want.

marriage or relationships are based on dominance hierarchy.

if one can control a relationship then it does not matter. Intelligence and maturity is the key. Sadly theists ignore this. Rather they lie regarding the issues of the dominance hierarchy and sell fantasy. Human behaviour has mean the same since early conception.

Edited by monad
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On 1/31/2018 at 8:06 PM, Intellectual Resistance said:

Well, these days parents (generally speaking) have the following requirements:

1. Has to be a Shia [good]

2. Has to come from a practising family. [not necessarily if they are a good person, think reverts]

3. Must wear the Hijab. [good]

4. And many people even specify things like: Must be Iraqi, Must be Khoja, Must be Lebanese etc. [bad]

5. Must be willing to live in your town, and some even say in your own household looking after the mother in law and cleaning. [pathetic]

6. Add that to generic wants like chemistry, looks, piety, and other things... [understandable]

You're going to be left with a very small pool of people to ever choose from. Thankfully this doesn't apply to me, but a lot of people suffer from it.  Arguably speaking anyone who has the above conditions will likely only meet a handful people in their lives they are compatible with in that context and not even in the context of getting to know for marriage. Chances are you're going to settle.

Unless of course you're one of the unlucky ones whose parents have forced you into an arranged marriage, else they guilt trip you in a way only they can, and it is sad to have heard stories of that. 

Yeah, this is kinda where I'm at.  My parents kept saying, "oh this person isn't right for you, that person won't make a good wife, this person is very this/that, etc."  And unfortunately I just trusted that they knew what they were doing.  Now they've almost switched and are scraping the bottom of the barrel, so to speak, telling me I should consider people are not near as religious as me, or are just very different personality wise.  I've always thought I'd just leave it in their hands and trust them, but now I feel like I need to take over, but I almost don't know how.

On 1/31/2018 at 9:03 PM, Abu Hadi said:

I've never met a muslim man yet who sought out a Christian women for marriage. Obviously, a muslim man wants to marry a women who shares his religion and his values, and this is very important to most men. The only time they marry a Christian women is when they can't find a muslim women to marry, a suitable one. By suitable, I mean

Do you mean a practicing Muslim?  Because I know plenty that seek out relationships with non-Muslims.  Or maybe it's unintentional, but they hand out with them at work, with other friends, and develop feelings for them, and then a relationship develops.  But there are quite a few down in these parts that have relationships with non-Muslim women that turn into marriage.

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On 02/02/2018 at 6:08 AM, coldcow said:

Yeah, this is kinda where I'm at.  My parents kept saying, "oh this person isn't right for you, that person won't make a good wife, this person is very this/that, etc."  And unfortunately I just trusted that they knew what they were doing.  Now they've almost switched and are scraping the bottom of the barrel, so to speak, telling me I should consider people are not near as religious as me, or are just very different personality wise.  I've always thought I'd just leave it in their hands and trust them, but now I feel like I need to take over, but I almost don't know how.

The world is such a different place today. Women tend to go to universities and there's cross-gender interaction good or not. There's the online world as well, and the world of phones and social media.  Dynamics are now wholly different for better or for worse. I genuinely don't support parents deciding. If you want to get married in the 21st century, i'd wager it's important to undergo massive self-development in all areas, and then put yourself out there in a halal way.  Seriously, marrying someone who one does not have  physical attraction to, or worse, not even an emotional personality-connection to is just a horrible idea.  In life, i've come to realise, if you want something, you have to go get it. Take over the wheel so to speak and start to drive. If you're a guy and you haven't hit your mid 30s you don't have to settle inshAllah any age from 18-35 for men is when they're still pretty much in the prime of their life. 

It's also destiny, and Dua can change destiny. 

Edited by Intellectual Resistance
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On 1/30/2018 at 12:45 AM, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

i feel somewhat against Muslim men marry Christian women 

my reason being is child raising I feel there would be too much religious confusion for the kids 

What are your opinions 

I am one of those children you speak of, my mother is Catholic and my father is Muslim. There was not confusion, my parents worked together as a team and we always loved and respected them both. We got to attend churches and mosques, read both books, and honestly it helped make more sense of certain things as both Jesus and the prophet Mohammed were messengers of Allah. We got Christmas and Eid. Although i am not the most informed i think my parents are what marriage should be, who people full of love and admiration for eachother. They do disagree on things i won't lie, however its usually about my mother wanting to cook pork in the kitchen and my father and i having to clean everything afterwards. but honestly their fighting is funny and they always have an underlined humour in everything. 

This can work as long as you are both willing to accept each other as people first and compromise.

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