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In the Name of God بسم الله

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salam, i have been contemplating on leaving my job for a while now, the reason being is that there is haram music (rap, love, etc) playing 24/7 in there and the people i work with all use bad cuss words a lot although its mostly in joking with each other and towards me as well and even though telling them that i dont like to be talked to that way, lead to no avail. Also i sometimes feel like im not as bothered by the music anymore because of how much ive heard it there and probably becoming desensitized to it as well, as you know here in the US you'd be lucky to go a day without music entering your ears because of how common it is and what hurts even more is that everything i just stated with me is happening by arab non practicing shia muslims, i also feel like my heart is getting dirtier and its as if i just want to get away from all this to a place where there is no one. 

I want to know what you guys think i should do and considering the fact that i have younger siblings dependent on me to provide and my parents not living with us currently they are overseas and we are here as students.

i have already asked my marja sayed sistani on working in a place where there is music playing 24/7 and i believe he said that as long as its not intentional its fine>

also the reason im still contemplating on it is because im not sure if this is a test that Allah wants me to stay and go through or i should quit this job for the sake of Allah and rely on him to provide me with something better,,,

im just confused now..... please give me your advice and guidance 

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Salaam Alaykum

May Allah bless you on the responsibility that you feel on your siblings.

I understand what you say. I worked in an environment that they used to use inappropriate words and play music. I always tried to escape from those situations. One time founder and cofounder were talking to me. Cofounder used an inappropriate word. I became quiet for a few srconds and told him:" I don't use that kind of words". I also told engineering manager that I am very interested in this job, but when they use unprofessional words, I lose my interest.

It's very hard to find a better job. Your next job is not gauranteed to be better. My environment were all nonmuslims. My job was temporary, so I left. First apply for other jobs and see if you can get a better job. After you got the job, go and talk with employees and ask your questions about work environment. If you found it better, then resign from your previous job and go for new one.

Inshaallah you'll find a good one since your intention is pure for Allah.

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1 hour ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Salaam Alaykum

May Allah bless you on the responsibility that you feel on your siblings.

I understand what you say. I worked in an environment that they used to use inappropriate words and play music. I always tried to escape from those situations. One time founder and cofounder were talking to me. Cofounder used an inappropriate word. I became quiet for a few srconds and told him:" I don't use that kind of words". I also told engineering manager that I am very interested in this job, but when they use unprofessional words, I lose my interest.

It's very hard to find a better job. Your next job is not gauranteed to be better. My environment were all nonmuslims. My job was temporary, so I left. First apply for other jobs and see if you can get a better job. After you got the job, go and talk with employees and ask your questions about work environment. If you found it better, then resign from your previous job and go for new one.

Inshaallah you'll find a good one since your intention is pure for Allah.

Do you think i should stay and in the mean time look for another job or quit and look for another job? because i remember reading something that said that if your faith is ever in danger from being at a place, you must leave or something like that, and the amount of cuss words im talking about is A LOT like in almost every sentence and i am also pretty close with the owner and stuff but he's still doesnt take any of this seriously...

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Remember that there is a difference between sama' and istimsa.

The difference is that sama' means you listen to the music but without actually paying attention. For example you are in the mall whlile music is being played. It is not haram' to stay there, because you are not paying attention. However, if you actually listen while paying attention it becomes haram.

You have to contact your marja' on this issue.

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You need to stop being childish.

The logical solution is to look for another job while working there. Especially when you have others who are dependent on you.

This isnt a test from God. You are living in a western environment within their rules. The game has many rules, but the number one rule each firm has is money and human captial. I'd think God prefers humans to use reason and not fantasy. If you were to quit with that idealised Faith in God, and you did not attain your next job and suffered, you could either then claim it was another test or come here in a few months claiming God has forsaken you and that you require a supplication.

Your heart isnt getting dirtier, this is your own immature guilt that you have established via religious guilt. Could you even hold your heart in front of you and show where the dirt is. Everything is a as the old phrase goes "mind over matter".

In the real world with real humans, you will get a variety of types. This implies that language and jokes will differ and be irrelevent considering their proffesional status or age.

you came to the US to earn a degree that would eventually allow an economically higher lifestyle, also knowing the challenges one would face. Figure out a solution and stop complaining. If the root is something else, do not use religion or others as the true motive. Perhaps you are home sick. Call home.

Edited by monad
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2 hours ago, Ali-F said:

Remember that there is a difference between sama' and istimsa.

The difference is that sama' means you listen to the music but without actually paying attention. For example you are in the mall whlile music is being played. It is not haram' to stay there, because you are not paying attention. However, if you actually listen while paying attention it becomes haram.

You have to contact your marja' on this issue.

I mean im aware that the music is there and it's hard for me to ignore it 

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8 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

Do you think i should stay and in the mean time look for another job or quit and look for another job? because i remember reading something that said that if your faith is ever in danger from being at a place, you must leave or something like that, and the amount of cuss words im talking about is A LOT like in almost every sentence and i am also pretty close with the owner and stuff but he's still doesnt take any of this seriously...

Look for another job first, and then leave this job. If you don't provide for your siblings, it causes more problems. I know you want to be pious Muslim, but first find another job, then go for it if it was better.

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As sincere as you think this problem is, I agree with Monad. It sounds like a retail job? Just go in, do your hours and leave. If you don't even like music, you won't focus on it in the background. If you don't like how they talk, don't talk to them. I'm sorry but this is hardly hardly a problem. 

10 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

Do you think i should stay and in the mean time look for another job or quit and look for another job? because i remember reading something that said that if your faith is ever in danger from being at a place, you must leave or something like that, and the amount of cuss words im talking about is A LOT like in almost every sentence and i am also pretty close with the owner and stuff but he's still doesnt take any of this seriously...

Your faith isn't in danger though? You still  don't like music and you still don't curse. 

If you don't like the place and being there makes you uncomfortable, then find another job FIRST an then leave. Don't leave with hopes that a job will fall into your lap.

I have a funny anecdote.. Once there was this guy drowning at sea and he thought- it's okay, God will save me. A boat comes past and tries to help.. the man refuses. "God will save me!" he says. A second boat comes by.. same thing. Third boat.. Eventually, he dies. At the gates of heaven he asks God " Why didn't you save me!" 
God replies "I sent you three boats!" 

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5 hours ago, 400226 said:

As sincere as you think this problem is, I agree with Monad. It sounds like a retail job? Just go in, do your hours and leave. If you don't even like music, you won't focus on it in the background. If you don't like how they talk, don't talk to them. I'm sorry but this is hardly hardly a problem. 

Your faith isn't in danger though? You still  don't like music and you still don't curse. 

If you don't like the place and being there makes you uncomfortable, then find another job FIRST an then leave. Don't leave with hopes that a job will fall into your lap.

I have a funny anecdote.. Once there was this guy drowning at sea and he thought- it's okay, God will save me. A boat comes past and tries to help.. the man refuses. "God will save me!" he says. A second boat comes by.. same thing. Third boat.. Eventually, he dies. At the gates of heaven he asks God " Why didn't you save me!" 
God replies "I sent you three boats!" 

What is worrying me the most is that at times i feel like im getting a likening to the music but at the same time i keep telling myself that its all garbage and it's mostly not even the lyrics its the beat of the music that gets to the heart not the lyrics and the music is loud too so there's no way to avoid it

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11 hours ago, monad said:

You need to stop being childish.

The logical solution is to look for another job while working there. Especially when you have others who are dependent on you.

This isnt a test from God. You are living in a western environment within their rules. The game has many rules, but the number one rule each firm has is money and human captial. I'd think God prefers humans to use reason and not fantasy. If you were to quit with that idealised Faith in God, and you did not attain your next job and suffered, you could either then claim it was another test or come here in a few months claiming God has forsaken you and that you require a supplication.

Your heart isnt getting dirtier, this is your own immature guilt that you have established via religious guilt. Could you even hold your heart in front of you and show where the dirt is. Everything is a as the old phrase goes "mind over matter".

In the real world with real humans, you will get a variety of types. This implies that language and jokes will differ and be irrelevent considering their proffesional status or age.

you came to the US to earn a degree that would eventually allow an economically higher lifestyle, also knowing the challenges one would face. Figure out a solution and stop complaining. If the root is something else, do not use religion or others as the true motive. Perhaps you are home sick. Call home.

:salam:

Why do you so often feel the need to reply with such sarcasm - or maybe is it total lack of compassion - to people asking for friendly advice ?

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23 hours ago, realizm said:

Why do you so often feel the need to reply with such sarcasm - or maybe is it total lack of compassion - to people asking for friendly advice ?

Life isn't a fantasy, it is damn harsh even for many of us. There is no sarcasm here, it is pure objective truth. Either the person reads it, contemplates over it or ignores it. Fact is, whatever I always write, eventually with some time, they all come to understand the truth of it.

If you can provide where there is sarcasm and where there is a lack of compassion, let me know. However, compassion wont solve his problems, it will just abuse his emotions. It may soften the approach, but that is not my personality. :pushup:

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On 1/28/2018 at 5:14 AM, monad said:

You need to stop being childish.

The logical solution is to look for another job while working there. Especially when you have others who are dependent on you.

This isnt a test from God. You are living in a western environment within their rules. The game has many rules, but the number one rule each firm has is money and human captial. I'd think God prefers humans to use reason and not fantasy. If you were to quit with that idealised Faith in God, and you did not attain your next job and suffered, you could either then claim it was another test or come here in a few months claiming God has forsaken you and that you require a supplication.

Your heart isnt getting dirtier, this is your own immature guilt that you have established via religious guilt. Could you even hold your heart in front of you and show where the dirt is. Everything is a as the old phrase goes "mind over matter".

In the real world with real humans, you will get a variety of types. This implies that language and jokes will differ and be irrelevent considering their proffesional status or age.

you came to the US to earn a degree that would eventually allow an economically higher lifestyle, also knowing the challenges one would face. Figure out a solution and stop complaining. If the root is something else, do not use religion or others as the true motive. Perhaps you are home sick. Call home.

If i was dealing with non muslims then maybe I wouldn't care as much but the people im talking about are from my same country and religion that is what is making it harder for me and I speak with my parents on a daily basis, so its not home sick also it's because i used to a few years back before I became religious used to listen to this music and now i just want to know if i feel like sometimes my heart is "beating to the beat" Of the music is that crossing a red line for me? I ask this because I've heard a narration from imam ali that goes something like, if a your heart even beats to a letter of the music its as if you've slapped Ali on his face.

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On 1/27/2018 at 8:29 PM, SeekingHeaven said:

salam, i have been contemplating on leaving my job for a while now, the reason being is that there is haram music (rap, love, etc) playing 24/7 in there and the people i work with all use bad cuss words a lot although its mostly in joking with each other and towards me as well and even though telling them that i dont like to be talked to that way, lead to no avail. Also i sometimes feel like im not as bothered by the music anymore because of how much ive heard it there and probably becoming desensitized to it as well, as you know here in the US you'd be lucky to go a day without music entering your ears because of how common it is and what hurts even more is that everything i just stated with me is happening by arab non practicing shia muslims, i also feel like my heart is getting dirtier and its as if i just want to get away from all this to a place where there is no one. 

I want to know what you guys think i should do and considering the fact that i have younger siblings dependent on me to provide and my parents not living with us currently they are overseas and we are here as students.

i have already asked my marja sayed sistani on working in a place where there is music playing 24/7 and i believe he said that as long as its not intentional its fine>

also the reason im still contemplating on it is because im not sure if this is a test that Allah wants me to stay and go through or i should quit this job for the sake of Allah and rely on him to provide me with something better,,,

im just confused now..... please give me your advice and guidance 

You can switch jobs if you are not happy but don't quit this one's before finding another one.

there is an expression about a water lily or lotus growing in dirty water. 

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you heard a narration, find it, verify it, then understand its context.

Why not look at the scientific reasoning of how and why music effects the human mind. Why it effects some and not others.  Your heart in not beating to it because the devil is playing a little band in there, it is how music releases dopamine similar to cocaine etc. Thus the constant use of X creates addictions. Religion wants to control addiction, but it also depends on the Value you add to the music.

Current conclusions are that limbic brain regions such as the amygdala are a major part of the emotional stimulus from music. Also, the reward network that includes the dopamine mesolimbic centers in the nucleus accumbens are critical for the pleasure derived from some music. These centers are essential in all other pleasurable events, including the distorted pleasures of addictions. The hippocampus, which is a critical part of memory and learning in the brain, is a major part of musical effects on social engagement and attachment. This hippocampal effect is more than the influence of memories on emotional states and is described below.

The unconscious brain circuits for sound appear to be very old in evolution.

The system for hearing sounds evolved from the vestibular brain network that responds to balance in space. The vestibular system still responds in some ways to sound as well as balance. Two vestibular structures, the saccule and the utricle, respond to vibrations from sounds.

The vestibular system has a strong influence on the effect of loud sounds, especially very low sounds and those that occur suddenly. The vestibular brain nuclei, as well as the auditory cochlear nuclei, are connected to the brain region that activates awakeness, the reticular system. It also mingles with fibers of the autonomic system and the system that innervates the major organs. This can be experienced by lack of balance causing GI symptoms like nausea.

But, in music responses of the balance system effect musical arousal. The processing of sound information below the cortex greatly influences muscular and autonomic activity and allows a subconscious effect of wanting to “move to the beat.”  This unconscious powerful effect has been used to help Parkinson’s patients improve walking with a beat. 

The amygdala has three layers of neurons. It is the center of much of the brain activity related to emotions.

The top amygdala layer receives signals from the smell centers, and responds to faces, sounds and music—especially happy music. These responses are related to emotions connected with social contacts. During happy music there are strong connections from the amygdala to the dopamine driven nucleus accumbens (addiction center). This dopamine center is not as involved in fearful music.

A basic center of the amygdala, the laterobasal, is the main way sound information enters along with other senses. This center responds to both happy and fearful signals and is correlated with stimulation of goal directed behavior.  Signals from higher cortical centers are mingled with this center for hearing and direct sensory input from the thalamus.

 

The hippocampus is damaged by severe stress, with reduction of new neuron production during depression, PTSD and abuse. During recovery from depression and stress, the production of new brain cells in the hippocampus increases.

Also, attachment and tender feelings are correlated to with the amount of new brain cells, with less new neurons when there are no tender feelings. These same people with less tender feelings have less response to music as well. Also, those who are subjected to persistent loud sounds that cause stress have reductions in the hippocampus activity and cells.

 

 

in short, music releases dopamine, which makes humans happy, thus they need the constant happy drug. This is one part of the effects of music, and on the other part it helps damaged brains come to life.

Edited by monad
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On 2018-01-27 at 9:29 PM, SeekingHeaven said:

salam, i have been contemplating on leaving my job for a while now, the reason being is that there is haram music (rap, love, etc) playing 24/7 in there and the people i work with all use bad cuss words a lot although its mostly in joking with each other and towards me as well and even though telling them that i dont like to be talked to that way, lead to no avail. Also i sometimes feel like im not as bothered by the music anymore because of how much ive heard it there and probably becoming desensitized to it as well, as you know here in the US you'd be lucky to go a day without music entering your ears because of how common it is and what hurts even more is that everything i just stated with me is happening by arab non practicing shia muslims, i also feel like my heart is getting dirtier and its as if i just want to get away from all this to a place where there is no one. 

I want to know what you guys think i should do and considering the fact that i have younger siblings dependent on me to provide and my parents not living with us currently they are overseas and we are here as students.

i have already asked my marja sayed sistani on working in a place where there is music playing 24/7 and i believe he said that as long as its not intentional its fine>

also the reason im still contemplating on it is because im not sure if this is a test that Allah wants me to stay and go through or i should quit this job for the sake of Allah and rely on him to provide me with something better,,,

im just confused now..... please give me your advice and guidance 

If it bothers you that much find another more suitable job first and then quit this one.

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