When did men stop being men

[Sisterfatima1 480]

Salam 

I am at the shopping centre with my mum

i saw this guy get angry at his wife and then left her with her crying child and all heavy shopping and watching her struggle to carry her child and all the shopping she had I felt sorry for her and helped her carry her shopping to near the car where her husband was waiting 

I am just shocked where is the manhood to leave a woman to struggle 

[LadyNadine 213]

There may be a argument between them that your not aware of or what’s goes on in their home. I think there different meaning to this situation that no one is aware of.

[Sisterfatima1 480]

That’s fine but don’t leave a woman that way till she can’t move without struggling 

Edited January 21 by Sisterfatima1

[Gaius I. Caesar 6,275]

It sucks but who knows what goes on at home? Guy sounds like a loser for storming off like that.

[ali_fatheroforphans 3,763]

You know the most unattractive trait I find in someone?

Someone who acts like a kid and storms off. This is something that makes me cringe.

It's like a little kid running away from his mum, stomping his foot and frowning, just because he can't have lollies.

[TheGreenWanderer 151]

Sure, people can say 'But you don't know about the situation which is occurring at home with them', but the reality is in this situation this man has let his wife down. Regardless if they are having issues at home behind the scenes, a husband should still aid his family in all situations possible rather then let them struggle. Isn't that what 'going the extra mile' is about and also where true compassion in ones heart is, when against even all the negative things, you still uphold what is true and right?

[Islandsandmirrors 2,323]

Oh, I thought this thread was going to be about men bashing. 

Instead, I found a scenario of a loser. Poor women who have to deal with men like that, Jeez. And in public, too! 

[Islandsandmirrors 2,323]

I will say though that it sounds like an individual problem more than a man-problem/societial issue. Men still hold doors, are respectful and gentlemenly. 

[notme 15,571]

The worst are the ones who are respectful and hold doors and all while trying to win a woman's affection, then leave her to carry the burden and care for the children once he has her. Those males don't deserve to be called men. They barely even qualify as human. (I really hate deceivers.) 

[Sisterfatima1 480]

It just annoyed me being a mother watching him leave her with child crying on the ground and she is carrying everything in her hands even somethings not in bags 

[King 3,621]

This isn't anything new, I observed behaviour like this back in the 90s.

[IbnSina 4,930]

I'm not defending this guy you are talking about but in general men stopped being men when women stopped asking for them and settled for children in mens bodies.

If women had higher standards for men, then they would live up to that but their standards is a reflection of their own self image and todays society and the "modern view" on women is there to make sure you lower your self image so you can go and buy all these stuffs to try and fix it, make you look like the overrated celebrities that they so insistingly tell you that they are the concept of beauty on earth.

Make up and revealing clothes, the less you wear, the more male attention you get, the more male attention you get the more good you can feel about yourself because you get that confirmation you need that your self confidence lacks. Your concept of self worth comes out of what people think of and say about you who cares about dignity am I right?

Welcome to the modern progressive society. 

When you ask most women today what they are looking for in a guy they will say something so intelligent as: someone that can make me laugh.

And so they marry clowns and now we are all laughing at his behavior. 

[ali_fatheroforphans 3,763]

1 hour ago, IbnSina said:

When you ask most women today what they are looking for in a guy they will say something so intelligent as: someone that can make me laugh.

This is so true man. I've heard several women say "we just want a cute, goofy and a fun guy" - like that is all they look for in a guy. Women really need to ask themselves "how do I define a real man".

Edited January 21 by ali_fatheroforphans

[AmirAlmuminin Lover 1,133]

Salaam Alaykum

I also have seen some pictures like this. I saw some men back in Iran give the key to their wife to open garage when they want to park the car in the house. One time it was rainy, and I saw a family in a car came back to their house, and the man gave the key to his wife to open garage. He was sitting in the car and watching her wife opening the door.It's very inappropriate.

[monad 1,403]

zzz Ohh please, I had to forcefully agree to my warning just to repost. I am sure this will be reported too.

Men stopped being men....... read it in a book from 0BC

Women stopped being women..... same

Across the whole of the internet, you will find the same responses from the single men!. OMG I am a real man, I would do X, Y, Z.. Cool story. Real men arent single and on the net claiming they are real.

When you, the Real men see something wrong, do you ACT? or walk away as usual then bash on the net about it....

Women, stop this nonsense, you are as responsible for such  behaviors but do it in a different manner. Covert and overt methods.

Each families have their own problems, if when we find such behaviors outside, why does no one ever intervene?. Real men and women will always act.

Just another emotional post with emotional responses.

[starlight 9,497]

Yeah, blame it on the women. Would a righteous,self respecting,well brought up 'man' act different if girls around him were behaving like drama queens or trying to act like starlets. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has appointed men as leaders, then why do they let their behaviour be dictated by how women around them are acting? 

How we conduct ourselves should not be controlled by people,that alone shows weakness of character. A gentleman will always treat her woman with respect at least in public. The conflicts can be settled in private. If a woman is having melt down or lost control over her emotions that's no excuse for the man to act likewise.

 

[notme 15,571]

33 minutes ago, monad said:

Just another emotional post with emotional responses.

But she said she did intervene: she helped the mother carry her shopping to the car. The OP was upset by the man's childish display and wanted to discuss. This is a discussion forum after all. 

[Smiles786 173]

10 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Oh, I thought this thread was going to be about men bashing. 

Instead, I found a scenario of a loser. Poor women who have to deal with men like that, Jeez. And in public, too! 

Me too. I thought this was going to be about the feminization of men. 

 

[monad 1,403]

49 minutes ago, notme said:

But she said she did intervene: she helped the mother carry her shopping to the car. The OP was upset by the man's childish display and wanted to discuss. This is a discussion forum after all. 

fair play, I generally spend 1sec reading forum posts.

However what is find annoying is terms such as

I am just shocked where is the manhood to leave a woman to struggle  and rest of the men are loser nonsense.

 

Women want equality, yet they complain when things do not go there way and blame that men are men. This is nothing short of hypocricy and manipulative behavior. Rather, the correct observational complaint would be that, another human was acting inappropriately with another human they had established a matrimonial contract with, where they did not follow the laws of ethics or moral mercy. But this would not illict a typical gender bias, where each gender would defend their superiorirty and conditioned behaviors according to societical rules. Yes, we can argue that society needs a gender structure where each genders is required to behave in a particular manner to create balance. If intelligence were the norm, I am sure she wouldnt have married him in the first place. Both exchanged something for something each had, the problems in that scenario is that of the man showing dominance and where the woman believed the dominance. If she had left the shopping, the story would have unfolded differently. The power would have moved on to her. Then we realise all arguments are nothing short of each individuals wanting to take the dominant position.

I'd rather call out the incorrect behavior then pretend one gender is better then the other. It is nothing short of child like responses.

 

52 minutes ago, starlight said:

A gentleman will always treat her woman with respect at least in public. The conflicts can be settled in private. If a woman is having melt down or lost control over her emotions that's no excuse for the man to act likewise.

If my imaginery wife were throwing a tantrum, I too would walk way too. I have seen tantrums in real life, and when persons intervened, I saw the smirk on the womens face. Thats when I knew, she knew, SHE GOT HIM!. So, yes, it is all about knowing when and who is pretending and actually really upset.

 

Edited January 21 by monad

[shadow_of_light 1,141]

The Prophet -s- said: the best of you are the best of you for your wives [the best of you are those who have the best behavior toward their wives] and the worst of you are the worst of you with your wives.

Even if the wife was blameful, he should not have left her alone with the child. Similarly, the wife should not leave her child when she is angry at her husband.

[Intellectual Resistance 1,165]

[Intellectual Resistance 1,165]

We all know men and women are different ; they sometimes operate on an entirely different set of logical rules and have different emotional realities. Treat women kindly, as the Messenger of Allah [saw] has advised. Men will never truly understand how the female mind operates, and Aristole and Plato themselves gave up on it. They are more complex, and one must be patient, and understanding. 

EDIT: Leaving a woman alone with a crying child and heavy shopping is cruel. Men need to be men. Any man with the ability to do so should be able to carry double or triple his wife body weight, with ease. He therefore should be able to easily carry not only the shopping bags, but also the child and i kid you not, even his wife if she's tired. 

Edited January 21 by Intellectual Resistance

[Intellectual Resistance 1,165]

"O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good." - Noble Quran

 

 

[Intellectual Resistance 1,165]

28 minutes ago, monad said:

 

If my imaginery wife were throwing a tantrum, I too would walk way too. I have seen tantrums in real life, and when persons intervened, I saw the smirk on the womens face. Thats when I knew, she knew, SHE GOT HIM!. So, yes, it is all about knowing when and who is pretending and actually really upset.

 

If she's with your imaginary child, then it's best to just bear with it. The point where you ignore tantrums and just let it pass without showing you're bothered or taking the bait is when no child is involved. Children come first - always. As for knowing if they are pretending or really upset, there's a nobel prize for than with a one million dollar reward. Don't bother trying to put a logic to that, humans are not so simple.

Edited January 21 by Intellectual Resistance

[Intellectual Resistance 1,165]

 

58 minutes ago, Smiles786 said:

Me too. I thought this was going to be about the feminization of men. 

 

This. 

Where have the Lumber Jack beards and strong, tough men gone? These days we have Shia men wearing skinny jeans, and dressed like they are anime characters not having a back-bone. I blame the media, i truly do for the decline in men. It's all about being effeminate these days. SubhanAllah i'm disgusted by what i see in the Mens section these days [shops]. Some men now wear make up as well.