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In the Name of God بسم الله

Are there any Mutah networks?

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Salaam,

So recently I have been seing some posts about muslims struggling with their desires. And of course the sunnah advises us to reccomend temporary marriage. And many members here then rightfully advise mutah. However, I think one of the biggest hurdles to doing Mutah is finding and then convincing a woman to do Mutah with. However, I was curious to know if there was either an online or offline "Mutah network" that function similarly to marriage networks and take the guessing game  out of temporary marriage. Perhaps we should pin this discussion so we can redirect others who struggle with their desires to proper resources. 

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Nikah, whether temporary or permanent, is not just a mean of rightfully fulfilling the sexual requirements & urges. The important point in them is that the male partner have to bear the responsibi

I know of this ruling, but it bothers me. The child has a right to be supported by its father, even before he or she is born, and the only way to ensure the health and safety of the child in the womb

And mutah is not for those who ran away from taking the responsibilities and just want to fulfill their sexual urges.

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I think men should enter a mutah agreement with an intention of marrying. Yeah, fulfilling sexual desires is fine but there should also be at least some sort of vision, as in where they wanna to go from here.

Also we should enter a mutah agreement if we truly love our partner, well at least if we see some sort of compatability. I don't agree with this idea that we should just do mutah with anyone just for the sake of having sex - this is pretty sad imo. Also, I feel having sexual relations with someone you truly love is much more meaningful and better than with someone who hasn't even formed an emotional bond with you.

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4 hours ago, Salsabeel said:

Nikah, whether temporary or permanent, is not just a mean of rightfully fulfilling the sexual requirements & urges. The important point in them is that the male partner have to bear the responsibility & has to do the justice. For instance, the responsibility of sustenance/food, clothing etc. The responsibility of becoming biological father and then the responsibility of the offspring etc. 

Its not just sex. Its responsibility everywhere.  

A woman in mut'ah is not entitled to subsistence according to Sayyed Al-Sistani.

Issue 2433: A woman with whom temporary marriage is contracted, is not entitled to subsistence even if she becomes pregnant.

https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-laws-ayatullah-ali-al-husayni-al-sistani/marriage-part-ii-ii#mutah-temporary-marriage

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On 1/20/2018 at 7:34 AM, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I think men should enter a mutah agreement with an intention of marrying. Yeah, fulfilling sexual desires is fine but there should also be at least some sort of vision, as in where they wanna to go from here.

Also we should enter a mutah agreement if we truly love our partner, well at least if we see some sort of compatability. I don't agree with this idea that we should just do mutah with anyone just for the sake of having sex - this is pretty sad imo. Also, I feel having sexual relations with someone you truly love is much more meaningful and better than with someone who hasn't even formed an emotional bond with you.

Not all men have it the same way. Sometimes it is wajib on a man to get married just so he can stop committing haram, not because he wants to love someone, and in that case it is different.

In fact, this may be the case with most males in the West as far as I can tell.

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40 minutes ago, notme said:

I know of this ruling, but it bothers me. The child has a right to be supported by its father, even before he or she is born, and the only way to ensure the health and safety of the child in the womb is to provide for at least the basic needs of the mother. 

But a man with integrity will care for his child regardless of the law, and a man without integrity will not, regardless of the law. 

Yessss. You said exactly what I always thought. I am sure there is something wrong with this ruling. What if a woman falls pregnant and doesn't have the means to support herself? This ruling gives the man the right to abandon the woman who is carrying his child. 

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1 hour ago, notme said:

I know of this ruling, but it bothers me. The child has a right to be supported by its father, even before he or she is born, and the only way to ensure the health and safety of the child in the womb is to provide for at least the basic needs of the mother. 

But a man with integrity will care for his child regardless of the law, and a man without integrity will not, regardless of the law. 

I agree 100% . I will also add that it is up to both parties to put terms in the contract that they need. The basic mutah contract is just a template, or a default(in computer science terminology). Either party can add conditions to the contract, and once those conditions are added, it becomes wajib on both parties to fulfill them, just as it is wajib to fulfill the default terms of the contract. For example, a women could put a condition in the contract that if she gets pregnant, the man is obligated to support her financially during her pregnancy and even for x months afterward. If he agrees, then this becomes wajib on him to do, i.e. it is a major sin if he doesn't do this. 

The reason the fatwa is that 'the women is not entitled to financial support' is that if that was part of the default contract, every man who did mutah would be obligated to support his wife financially. 

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On 1/20/2018 at 9:14 AM, starlight said:

Yessss. You said exactly what I always thought. I am sure there is something wrong with this ruling. What if a woman falls pregnant and doesn't have the means to support herself? This ruling gives the man the right to abandon the woman who is carrying his child. 

The ruling is just a law which is a kind of fence or jail and it is not moral guide or whatsoever... unlike permanent marriage, because of its temporary nature, this kind of contract is more like trading contracts. It should be detail and carefully planned. And this is why the woman should be a rashida.

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Anyone considering mutah needs to think seriously about the possibility of producing a child, but people tend to think that a short term marriage will only have short term consequences. I guess it's either idealism or cynicism. 

Other than abstinence, no pregnancy preventative is 100% effective. 

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3 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

women could put a condition in the contract that if she gets pregnant, the man is obligated to support her financially during her pregnancy and even for x months afterward. If he agrees, then this becomes wajib on him to do

How can she demand something when her marja says she's not even entitled to it? Sistani doesn't leave this open ended,he explicitly stated she isn't entitled to it.

There are no witnesses to Shia marriage contract. Suppose she is pregnant and facing financial problems what do you think would be the reply from marja's office if she decides to take this up with him? 

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On 1/20/2018 at 10:11 AM, starlight said:

How can she demand something when her marja says she's not even entitled to it? Sistani doesn't leave this open ended,he explicitly stated she isn't entitled to it.

There are no witnesses to Shia marriage contract. Suppose she is pregnant and facing financial problems what do you think would be the reply from marja's office if she decides to take this up with him? 

She isn't entitled to it by default, but a woman can add it in the contract. People don't know, but you can add a lot of things in the marriage contract, and therefore be entitled to that which you aren't entitled to in a normal contract.

Unfortunately this part of the risala which mentions adding extra clauses in marital contracts is not available in English.

But for those who know Arabic; 

https://www.sistani.org/arabic/book/16/874/

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9 minutes ago, starlight said:

How can she demand something when her marja says she's not even entitled to it? Sistani doesn't leave this open ended,he explicitly stated she isn't entitled to it.

There are no witnesses to Shia marriage contract. Suppose she is pregnant and facing financial problems what do you think would be the reply from marja's office if she decides to take this up with him? 

She can demand anything halal in the contract. There are no witnesses in most of trade affairs, yet good and bad things do happen. The parties involved in this affair should do something to prevent bad things happened (like adding legality to the contract to make use of law enforcer powers). I think this ideally can be applied too in temporary marriage contracts.

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On 1/20/2018 at 10:26 AM, Sumerian said:

Unfortunately this part of the risala which mentions addin extra clauses in marital contracts is not available in English.

Thanks. Its not there in the urdu version either.That's so sad that even the risalas haven't been fully translated. Only yesterday I was fretting over the unavailability of our hadith books in languages other than Arabic  :(

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1 minute ago, starlight said:

Thanks. Its not there in the urdu version either.That's so sad that even the risalas haven't been fully translated. Only yesterday I was fretting over the unavailability of our hadith books in other languages :(

That's because it seems it is only available in Minhaj Al-Saliheen, and I think it is only in Arabic.

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1 hour ago, starlight said:

Thanks. Its not there in the urdu version either.That's so sad that even the risalas haven't been fully translated. Only yesterday I was fretting over the unavailability of our hadith books in languages other than Arabic  :(

I totally see where you are coming from, i complained about this for years. Then i decided to give up on the system and complacent people in charge of these things, and started to learn Arabic myself.

Edited by Intellectual Resistance
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33 minutes ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Oh my god guys, just answer my question. I asked about Mutah networks vis a via marriage networks. All I want to know is do they exist in the same official capacity (online or offline) as marriage networks do?

No. They don't. 

[Edit] once we SCers start discussing something we do it in complete depth.:grin:

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31 minutes ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Oh my god guys, just answer my question. I asked about Mutah networks vis a via marriage networks. All I want to know is do they exist in the same official capacity (online or offline) as marriage networks do?

Try shiamatch, just make it clear what you are looking for. There is a site called mutah.com that has profiles for matchmaking, but I don't know if it is reputable or active. It exists, that's all I can tell you. 

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51 minutes ago, starlight said:

No. They don't. 

[Edit] once we SCers start discussing something we do it in complete depth.:grin:

Well I am one to talk online the same way I talk in real life. And I at least appreciate people staying on topic versus going on tangents and making everyone forget what the initial post was all about. Heck, had this discussion went on to become two pages then I guarantee you and most members here would have forgotten entirely what the initial post was all about. And that ain't good. 

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On 1/20/2018 at 12:20 PM, Guest Account Ali said:

Oh my god guys, just answer my question. I asked about Mutah networks vis a via marriage networks. All I want to know is do they exist in the same official capacity (online or offline) as marriage networks do?

Dear brother- you may need to approach it differently.

Rather than looking for a mutah network (or marriage network), or for that part a job network, you (everybody) should look for places where like minded people gather, of both genders.

People flock to marriage sites and so on, nothing wrong with it; but had they flock to masajid, centers, and volunteer events etc. for the sake of doing the right thing and then let things flow from there as a side benefit of finding a suitable partner, their chances of success would be much higher.

If you really want to be successful in forming any companionship - find ways to meet good people regardless. Meeting people first and then vetting them to be suitable for marriage, career, profession, friendships, activity partners; is a much sure shot way to go about than the other way around.  

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On 1/20/2018 at 2:05 PM, Irfani313 said:

Dear brother- you may need to approach it differently.

Rather than looking for a mutah network (or marriage network), or for that part a job network, you (everybody) should look for places where like minded people gather, of both genders.

People flock to marriage sites and so on, nothing wrong with it; but had they flock to masajid, centers, and volunteer events etc. for the sake of doing the right thing and then let things flow from there as a side benefit of finding a suitable partner, their chances of success would be much higher.

If you really want to be successful in forming any companionship - find ways to meet good people regardless. Meeting people first and then vetting them to be suitable for marriage, career, profession, friendships, activity partners; is a much sure shot way to go about than the other way around.     

MashaAllah <3 Good Advice <3 

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On 1/20/2018 at 2:05 PM, Irfani313 said:

Dear brother- you may need to approach it differently.

Rather than looking for a mutah network (or marriage network), or for that part a job network, you (everybody) should look for places where like minded people gather, of both genders.

People flock to marriage sites and so on, nothing wrong with it; but had they flock to masajid, centers, and volunteer events etc. for the sake of doing the right thing and then let things flow from there as a side benefit of finding a suitable partner, their chances of success would be much higher.

If you really want to be successful in forming any companionship - find ways to meet good people regardless. Meeting people first and then vetting them to be suitable for marriage, career, profession, friendships, activity partners; is a much sure shot way to go about than the other way around.     

Gucci advice. 

But also I am not asking for myself. I am asking because when people here confess their desires and we tell them "do mutah" with the expectation that they just walk into a masjid and figure things out is easier said than done. Marriage is one thing but Mutah is another. Since there is a huge cultural stigma against Mutah, there is an extremely low chance you will find a woman in the masjid who wants to do Mutah, mainly due to cultural bias. My mother has narrated to me too many stories of men who do what you say only to turn up empty because many women have a stigma against Mutah. Even when scholars would act as the middle man for the guy and girl. 

But the internet seems to sift out cultural biases so there is a higher chance of success online than offline with Mutah. 

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On 1/20/2018 at 5:59 PM, Sumerian said:

A woman in mut'ah is not entitled to subsistence according to Sayyed Al-Sistani.

Issue 2433: A woman with whom temporary marriage is contracted, is not entitled to subsistence even if she becomes pregnant.

https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-laws-ayatullah-ali-al-husayni-al-sistani/marriage-part-ii-ii#mutah-temporary-marriage

I know that, I was talking about responsibilities in general sense. Even if she is not entitled to sustenance as per Agha Sistani, morally values would dictate you the opposite.
By the way, any female who is the muqallid of Ayatullah Sistani and want to do aqd-e-muta'a, would ask high haq-mehr, keeping in view this ruling. 

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On 22/01/2018 at 7:23 AM, Salsabeel said:

 morally values would dictate you the opposite.

And this is a massive problem with our fiqh. How can fiqh not be identical to morality/akhlaq?

All these people coming out of hawzah telling us that fiqh and akhlaq are different things - did they not have a thought in their mind questioning that classification?

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On 1/20/2018 at 8:01 PM, Intellectual Resistance said:

I totally see where you are coming from, i complained about this for years. Then i decided to give up on the system and complacent people in charge of these things, and started to learn Arabic myself.

this's the power, this's inspiring. people who doesnt wait for the others for a little help, instead they lead the way, mashallah and may Allah swt bless you.

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Salaam Alaykum

Mutah is Allah's gift to our prophet because Allah didn't give it to any prophet before.

If you need it, do it and don't worry about other people. I know it's very hard, but don't let other people's opinion rule your life. One of the reasons I did Mutah, was making Sunnah alive. Do it by considering its conditions. I know a religious person who asked a Christian family that he wants to be in relationship with their daughter. There's nothing bad about it.

Some people act against Mutah to get other people compliment, some act against because they don't want to submit to Allah's rule. Don't let their ideology rule your life. This is your life, and you have right to live the way your religion lets you.

Some Shia people ask same question that Sunni people ask. They ask it's against women freedom and benefits men. These people really need to read their Marji website. Instead of defending Shiite, these people leave Shiite alone. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PERMANENT AND TEMPORARY MARRIAGE FROM SEXUAL POINT OF VIEW. Some people say that those guys who do Mutah are so sexual. It's like %100 of people who do permanent marriage have no sexual intention. That ideology is hilarious.

Moreover, if a temporary marriage is done SOLELY for sexual satisfaction, it does NOT violate the contract.

We need to be عبد and submit to Allah.

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6 hours ago, Muhammed Ali said:

And this is a massive problem with our fiqh. How can fiqh not be identical to morality/akhlaq?

All these people coming out of hawzah telling us that fiqh and akhlaq are different things - did they not have a thought in their mind questioning that classification?

Same with sunni fiqh as well. Can you elaborate further on the distinction between akhlaq and fiqh? And why you feel this distinction is incorrect? 

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Mutah Chat 1
That's right, Mutah Chat is back. Please use it responsibly. Let all your single friends know that they could meet a like minded Mutah partner here. Mutah is also spelt by some as Muta, Mutaa Muta'a Muta'ah and in Iran it is variously known as Sighe, Sigha, Seeghe, Seegah, Seegha and various other spellings for Muta. However you spell Sighe it is still the same thing as Mutah.

If the first chat room is quiet stay logged in and then log into the second chat room and talk to people from across the web about Mutah n the second chat room while waiting for more Mutah.com chatters to arrive. The best time to visit the Mutah Chat Room is between 17.00-19.00 (5pm to 7pm) to chat to local people in your time zone. To help make this chat room successful please share Mutah.com with friends on Facebook, Twitter and other websites.

http://www.mutah.com/

I found this link but I'm not examined it.

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6 hours ago, Haimid said:

this's the power, this's inspiring. people who doesnt wait for the others for a little help, instead they lead the way, mashallah and may Allah swt bless you.

I didn't lead the way, but i am a follower of those who have already led the way and inspired me. 

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I have strong reservations about these so-called online networks. Most women will see Mutah as nothing more than having 'hook ups', and the majority of women who are Muslim and Shia are simply not going to be into that. These websites will also be disproportionately just men registering and vey few women on there, and the women that are i predict will probably be older and want some form of commitment as well.  Really well and truly, unless someone is exceptionally good looking, tall, and maybe even wealthy, there seriously is no point even looking into this.  When it comes to these 'Hook ups' any woman that is even wiling to go through with this without having the condition of something more substantial like marriage after is probably going to be superficial because she is going to have a lot of options.

A friend of mine is an anthropology graduate, and he said on non-Muslim dating sites, the ratio of men to women is incredibly skewed. This is because when it comes to just sexual desire - rather than long term relationships and marriage- women are inundated with hundreds of offers and have a crazy amount of options. The same laws would apply to Shias. You are more likely to have success with non-Muslims because very few women, especially self-respecting ones will just accept a 'hook up' even if it is Halal. 

Most of what i wrote is based on theory , but i'm pretty sure this is how it works. 

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7 hours ago, Muhammed Ali said:

And this is a massive problem with our fiqh. How can fiqh not be identical to morality/akhlaq?

All these people coming out of hawzah telling us that fiqh and akhlaq are different things - did they not have a thought in their mind questioning that classification?

Maybe Fiqh defines the boundaries and Morality defines what might be the better way? So Fiqh gives us a perimeter we can not go outside off, but that doesn't mean we have to walk around the edges. 

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