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Sisterfatima1

Do looks matter to you

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18 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I would rather get an average looking woman who has good character than an overly attractive woman who I would cringe at.

 

Ahsant.

Rather have a woman with a spirituality so high than a model with no taqwa at all.

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My priority would be meeting someone who has a great personality, common interest and to be a best friend regardless of how she looked. My biggest fear is not finding someone who can be both my wife and best friend. There are hundreds of things that attract you to a person and physical attraction is one i really don't care about, Besides all people are beautiful.  

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Salam!

A woman with looks and no character will surely break you down, If she doesn't have dignity! Her duty is to support his Husband and well as our duty is to make her feel secure!

A good woman can lead you to Jannah and she can also be the reason you lost your way to the right path, cause we men are weak, as Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى says ''We created the men weak.''

Bildresultat för good woman islam

Peace!

Edited by Wared

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Salaam Alaykum

I agree with the comment of @Islandsandmirrors.

Even though you remove some good personalities from your list, I think it's better to not marry with a person that you are not interested in. If he finds out later on that you are not interested, it breaks his heart.

I put most of my attention on having Islamic personality. I was in touch with a beautiful girl where I live, but I decided to quit. She was almost perfect on appearance, but she didn't have Akhlaq. I decided to quit because life is not a game. I know that religion brings kindness and closeness between wife and husband.

Edited by AmirAlmuminin Lover

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See the problem is it does matter for me. But so does character/personality. Character/personality is obvious why it matters, but I recall reading that psychologically, you treat people who are attractive better and are more patient with them, and those two things sound like something a Muslim man should do for his spouse (and vice versa obviously). Now obviously I don't mean I'll be looking for (maybe am looking lol) for an 11/10 but it does matter to a degree. I do agree with what people like ali_fatheroforphans heartsandmirrors and wholeheartedshia 110%, but it does matter in the end for me. If only for that purpose.

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1 minute ago, zerorequiiem said:

See the problem is it does matter for me. But so does character/personality. Character/personality is obvious why it matters, but I recall reading that psychologically, you treat people who are attractive better and are more patient with them, and those two things sound like something a Muslim man should do for his spouse (and vice versa obviously). Now obviously I don't mean I'll be looking for (maybe am looking lol) for an 11/10 but it does matter to a degree. I do agree with what people like ali_fatheroforphans heartsandmirrors and wholeheartedshia 110%, but it does matter in the end for me. If only for that purpose.

Personally I find women with hijab more attractive, I don't why, It is a gift from Allah.

And yea we men tend to choose the attractive side, despite the fact that we know that with women better character are suitable for us.

We just have to pray to ask Allah to ease your thoughts and we need to trust him more.

Peace!

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4 hours ago, zerorequiiem said:

See the problem is it does matter for me. But so does character/personality. Character/personality is obvious why it matters, but I recall reading that psychologically, you treat people who are attractive better and are more patient with them, and those two things sound like something a Muslim man should do for his spouse (and vice versa obviously). Now obviously I don't mean I'll be looking for (maybe am looking lol) for an 11/10 but it does matter to a degree. I do agree with what people like ali_fatheroforphans heartsandmirrors and wholeheartedshia 110%, but it does matter in the end for me. If only for that purpose.

that's very natural. of course you should not be after a perfect model, but how some one looks is important next to other factors.

some times some one might be very handsome or good looking but his face doesn't attract you as a man for example. So if after a while you didn't get used to some one's look and still feeling bad, you will never later get used to it,

looking for this factor is natural and it's totally OK, although there are more important factors like character and etc... but still you can keep it as well next to them. 

after all most of the people that claim they only care about moral, etc ... when it comes to the start of a relation look affects them anyway.

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11 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

Its not that looks don’t matter, it’s giving people a chance to show his or her own character. Character is more important than looks. 

Yea I agree . but looks is very important. we should take in consider 

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12 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

i hear some people say looks don’t matter but in my opinon they do 

I don’t like to sound shallow but I couldn’t get involved with someone I was not attracted to 

I am not superficial but why be with someone your not going to be attracted to 

Need to find a balance. 

 

And define handsome or beautiful. May be i find someone really beautiful but to you he could be just ok. Beauty is in the eye of beholder. 

Edited by Ron_Burgundy

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27 minutes ago, notme said:

Looks do matter, but the mind is a funny thing. If you come to know that a person has a bad character, their looks will become repulsive to you, even if they are perfectly proportioned. If you come to know that a person has good character and personality, your mind will see them as beautiful even if they are distorted in form. 

+ 1. For some people, looks matter but they don't matter to everyone. I have seen that my perception of people changes depending upon their behavior and personality. 

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Just now, Sisterfatima1 said:

My point is I think you would need to feel a basic attraction 

I couldn’t be with someone I had absolutely no attraction to not even 10% attraction 

 

Everything from Allah is pleasing, most ugly people have much more character, and character gives a human beauty.

Believe me, I know.... Apperance ain't anythig, It is usually a devil behind that mask, who thinks she/he is better, cause Allah made her/him pretty!

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3 minutes ago, Wared said:

Everything from Allah is pleasing, most ugly people have much more character, and character gives a human beauty.

Believe me, I know.... Apperance ain't anythig, It is usually a devil behind that mask, who thinks she/he is better, cause Allah made her/him pretty!

I’m not saying I want mr perfect but I want someone I think I have a basic attraction to or looks decent 

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1 minute ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

I’m not saying I want mr perfect but I want someone I think I have a basic attraction to or looks decent 

Ask Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى about the guy you desire, or ask him to make you less judgemental, cause in this life it doesn't matter what you have, If you enter paradise, you will be happy until Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى decides to remove you from this existent.

These kind of thoughts is chasing donya... Try to see good in every single person despite if he incapable of speaking, cause you don't know what he has been through.

I was just like you, believe me, and It isn't pleasing at all, the reality is much more hurtful than you think, just be patient until Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى reveals the beauty of the real world!

Inshallah he has mercy upon me and you and everyone who have sinned, and tries to seek his nearness!

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18 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

i hear some people say looks don’t matter but in my opinon they do 

I don’t like to sound shallow but I couldn’t get involved with someone I was not attracted to 

I am not superficial but why be with someone your not going to be attracted to 

Salaam 

looks matter for spousal selection. I take precaution. Don’t want to be tempted by zina.

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20 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Salam 

i hear some people say looks don’t matter but in my opinon they do 

I don’t like to sound shallow but I couldn’t get involved with someone I was not attracted to 

I am not superficial but why be with someone your not going to be attracted to 

Yes getting married to a person that your attracted to is very important but also there personality that also includes there manners and so on. Sometimes a girl can look so beautiful or a man look so handsome but have Crappy manners or personality but some are the opposite the have great manners and personality. You have to be careful who you want to marry don't let looks take away all your attention look at her or his manners and personality aswell. I have a met beautiful girls some but I didn't instantly wanted to Marry them because I value my future more and all most 99% of them and other girls mostly had different personality's or goals that simply don't fit my life style that I want. So yes not only looks are important but also personality if these two don't meat then don't risk it save yourself a heartbreak.

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13 minutes ago, Smiles786 said:

If someone is very unattractive to me I would be tempted so I would rather take precaution

You need to believe in Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى he is the only one who can increase your love for him or anyone else in your life!

You are being negative, sister/brother. 

Stay positive!

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31 minutes ago, Wared said:

You need to believe in Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى he is the only one who can increase your love for him or anyone else in your life!

You are being negative, sister/brother. 

Stay positive!

I’m a girl lol

I'm being realistic so I can avoid haram

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23 hours ago, Smiles786 said:

I’m a girl lol

I'm being realistic so I can avoid haram

[Mod Note: Inappropriate language removed.]

We pray to Allah to obtain what we want, as for this topic, marriage.

And when some guys come to you and present themselves to you, you deny him.

Instead of praying for a husband whom can please your needs, ask Allah what pleases him and try to be a better person yourself.

This generation is stuck in a tornado, that we will never leave, and the divorce rate speaks by itself, it only increases.

Hope this quote changes you, fam. Look at Fatima Zarah (as) whom lived with Imam Ali who didn't have much money.

You don't have to be like her, but at least reflect about what Allah gave you and don't waste it on wordly desires, let go of this selfishness.

Shia Muslims foto.

Edited by Hameedeh
[Mod Note: Inappropriate language removed.]

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5 hours ago, Smiles786 said:

Salaam 

looks matter for spousal selection. I take precaution. Don’t want to be tempted by zina.

Sister, Please don't mind me being direct but I see something so fundamentally wrong with what you wrote above. Even if one marries a very good looking man there will always be someone better looking than him,someone whose looks you could be attracted to even more.A handsome man or a drop dead gorgeous women aren't what prevents from Zina. It is piety(fear of displeasing Allah) and the sense of faithfulness towards your life partner that comes with it are what keeps one on the right path.

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There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to someone. However, @Sisterfatima1 seems to make it the only priority and overlooking everything else. 

From the way you write, the guys you reject—it seems like you don’t know them for very long. And again, attraction is sometimes not instant, or within a month or even a few. 

If you choose a guy based on immediate attraction, you’re setting yourself up for failure in relationships. You may even end up in an abusive situation in the future and overlook it because of your sexual attraction toward the person. Would you prefer to better detect red flags or be blinded by them due to intense feelings that will fizzle out in less than 6 months? 

Lastly, do you want a mature relationship or a relationship/marriage purely based on sex and attraction?

and I agree with @starlight‘s answer above. Which has lead me to conclude that the OP is [EDIT] for a committed relationship.

Edited by Hassan-
removed inappropriate comment

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Well before you go around judging me i was in a committed relationship for 3 years who used to abuse the [Edited Out] out of me excuse my language and I am entitled to wanting to have a brother who’s decent looking and has good religion so I suggest you [EDIT]

Edited by Hassan-
removed inappropriate comment

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5 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Well before you go around judging me i was in a committed relationship for 3 years who used to abuse the [Edited Out] out of me excuse my language and I am entitled to wanting to have a brother who’s decent looking and has good religion so I suggest you [EDIT]

I didn't judge you, I have no right to judge you.

All I want is that you don't follow the footstep of shaitan, try to be more gentle, being mean will kill your heart, not all guys are the same.

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On 1/8/2018 at 10:56 PM, Sisterfatima1 said:

Well before you go around judging me i was in a committed relationship for 3 years who used to abuse the [Edited Out] out of me excuse my language and I am entitled to wanting to have a brother who’s decent looking and has good religion so I suggest you [EDIT]

Honestly at this point sister, you have no one to blame but yourself for your own own sadness in life when it comes to relationships. No one but yourself.

Perhaps maybe when you become a lot more older than you are, and lose your looks is only when this point will suddenly make sense in your head. 

This may sound like a generalization, but generally women and men are only picky about looks when they still have their looks. But when God decides to take away your looks is when suddenly this selectivity about looks goes in the trash. Remember this for the rest of your life.

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