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In the Name of God بسم الله

Religious obsessive compulsive disorder

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Salam alaikum..

I have been suffering from religious OCD for 4 years( self diagnosed).

It all started one day out of the blue while listening to a nauha...all kinds of bad sexual thoughts came drowning on me about imam Hussain as.....I was petrified...I didn't know what to do...a moment ago I was crying for his tragedy..and now...what was happening...what was I thinking...thus began my dreaded journey of waswas from accursed Satan...I would constantly have bad vulgar abusive obscense thoughts about the sacred Ahlul Bayt AS...I was feeling lost hopeless extremely anxious...I started feeling that I must have committed some grave sin...I begged to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for forgiveness...it was extremely depressing...plus I had to conceal my problem from my family coz no one would believe...I just could not get these thoughts out of my head...it was like living in hell..I prayed for death ...being a 15-16 year old girl dat I was....

Prior to all this...I loved Islam Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and Ahlul Bayt AS sincerely...I still do from the bottom of my heart..

All this continued for 3 years...I still didn't knew I was suffering from OCD

Then during my 12th class...thoughts of kufr shirk...insulting sexual thoughts about God (nauzobillah) started coming to my mind...and till date I am suffering...

The last one year...I have lost all hope...my thoughts reject each and every proof of the existence of Allah ..does not value Quran...I always have obscene thoughts..I am suffering...

While praying...during Majalis..at imambargah...during sleep..while reading quran or listening to lectures......there is no rest from these kufr vulgar thoughts...

Please someone please help me..I'm just new here...I stumbled upon this site one day while searching about my condition....I really don't want to hate Islam.. I love Allah my lord . .  But I feel like He is angry with me..I feel none of my duas are being accepted ...I feel alone...full of anxiety and depression...and mostly away from Allah... please help me...I feel doomed... please help me please

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  • Advanced Member

Walekum Salam sister...

Thank you so much for the response...

Please do provide the Dua...

I also wanna say that no matter how much I get myself busy..no matter where I am...no matter what...these thoughts...are eating me alive....I am living through hell...becoz a life without Allah is hell...this is what I've learnt and believe in...but my thoughts make me feel like there is no bigger Kaffir ( nauzobillah) than me...

I feel like I'm going mad...mostly I'm suicidal

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In another tradition it is stated that

a person complained to Imam Ja’far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) that bad thoughts and temptations from the devil have enveloped his whole being the Imam asked him to keep his hand on his heart and recite three times the following Dua:

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ وَ بِاللَّهِ اَللّٰهُمَّ مَنَنْتَ عَلَيَّ بِالْإِيمَانِ وَ أَوْدَعْتَنِي الْقُرْآنَ وَ رَزَقْتَنِيْ صِيَامَ شَهْرِ رَمَضَانَ فَامْنُنْ عَلَيَّ بِالرَّحْمَةِ وَ الرِّضْوَانِ وَ الرَّأْفَةِ وَ الْغُفْرَانِ وَ تَمَامِ مَا أَوْلَيْتَنِيْ مِنَ النِّعَمِ وَ الْإِحْسَانِ يَا حَنَّانُ يَا مَنَّانُ يَا دَائِمُ يَا رَحْمٰنُ سُبْحَانَكَ وَ لَيْسَ لِي أَحَدٌ سِوَاكَ سُبْحَانَكَ أَعُوْذُ بِكَ بَعْدَ هٰذِهِ الْكَرَامَاتِ مِنَ الْهَوَانِ وَ أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تُجْلِيَ عَنْ قَلْبِي الْأَحْزَانِ.

Transliteration:

BISMIL LAAHE WA BILLAAHE ALLAAHUMMA MANANTA A’LAYYA BIL-EEMAANE WA AWDA’TANIL QUR-AANA WA RAZAQTANEE SEYAAMA SHAHRE RAMAZAANA FAM-NUN A’LAYYA BIR-RAHMATE WAR-RIZWAANE WAR-RAAFATE WAL-GHUFRAANE WA TAMAAME MAA AWLAYTANEE MENAN NE-A’ME WAL-EHSAANE YAA HANNAANO YAA MANNAANO YAA DAA-EMO YAA RAHMAANO SUBHAANAKA WA LAYSA LEE AHADUN SEWAAKA SUBHAANAKA A-O’OZO BEKA BA’DA HAAZEHIL KARAAMAATE MENAL HAWAANE WA AS-ALOKA AN TUJLEYA A’N QALBIL AHZAANE.

Translation:

I begin with the name of Allah and rely on Him O Allah by giving me faith Thou hast obliged me unto Thou. Thou hast made responsible for Qur’an-e-Majeed and presented me with the fasts of Ramazan. Make me now the centre of all Thy Kindness. Charity, good Benefactor! O the doer of Kindness. Charity, good will, rewards and obligations and O the great art pure and purified and I seek. Thy refuge from my downfall after showering me with these gifts and respect and pray you to alleviate those doubts superstitions and grief which are crowding on me and send innumerable durood on Hazrat Mohammad (s.a.w.a.) and his offspring (Ahle Bayt).

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  • Advanced Member

Sister, what do you like doing the most? What is your goal? What do you wanna accomplish in life

And also, one of the reason due to OCD is isolation; never isolate yourself, don't always stay in your room, sit with your family or something

Like I said before, take these thoughts as easy, let them come as much as they want to come even when you pray or read quran etc.. just dont get stressed or worried or anything

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I just love reading..many many kinds of books...but lately..I've become lethargic...

I even misread my board exam dates..

My goal in life has always been to follow Islam as much as I can..and better my self in all aspects of Deen and dunya....

However..I tend to loose focus..

 

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Your situation sounds familiar and actually it gave me some well needed hindsight. In theory wouldn't the devil try anything to waver your faith? Including making you feel like you are a disgusting person and you are too corrupt for worship? I think I heard this lectured once when I was young, that a tactic for the devil when he can't make the bad attractive to you is to make the good unattainable due to your opinion of yourself. Does this make sense? If not please ask and I can explain in detail. So now that you know why you think this way, how can you fix it? Easy. Continue doing the acts you used to do. Slowly if you must, but return to the point you were at. No matter how much of a kaffir you THINK you are, make sure your actions do not reflect or surrender to that thought. Also, thanks for this brave post actually, what I said to you applies to me as well and I haven't realised it at all until now.

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@zerorequiiem Thank you zerorequiiem...

Actually I had become so fed up of my condition...that I had to talk about it..to someone.. somewhere...but not my family...I'm too ashamed to tell them about it..so I gathered the courage to seek help in this site....

Thank you again for your response...

Salaam..

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  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)

Be optimistic about Allah (Ayt Panahian english)

It said when a believer see or hear Hadith of Kissa Allah will enter his hurt enjoyment 

Bad things happen deal with it (Ayt Panahian english)

https://youtu.be/_soErsuB74k

Edited by Ashvazdanghe
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  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)

 

Dua Kumail.

Edited by ShiaChat Mod
Spelling. Kumail not Kumali.
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6 hours ago, Marzii said:

@zerorequiiem Thank you zerorequiiem...

Actually I had become so fed up of my condition...that I had to talk about it..to someone.. somewhere...but not my family...I'm too ashamed to tell them about it..so I gathered the courage to seek help in this site....

Thank you again for your response...

Salaam..

Sister, you shouldn't be ashamed trust me, I also didn't want to tell my parents but I was literally going crazy so I just had to tell them; they're meant to help you, you don't have to  tell them exactly the thoughts you have you could just tell them you have waswas and its hard for you to overcome it.

Fee amanillah

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Sister Marzii: Are you sure you don't mind brothers entering into this conversation? It's just that I: and I'd say most brothers and sisters; have been through what you're going through: and so I'm very sorry that you are going through this! I read recently, that it's some of the evil Jinns (Satan's helpers) that are doing this to us, and so we have to pray to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى to help us to not let these thoughts get us down or worried; and to eventually stop these thoughts all together; Whenever I get these types of thoughts, I ask Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى to forgive me, and to make me stronger so that I can resist these thoughts and feelings from getting me down or upset! And I find that praying about this does help! 

I hope this has helped, at least a little bit, dear sister.

 

 

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@Marzii

Salaam Alaykum Sister

As I was reading your post, I was laughing. I WAS IN THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM IN EXACT SAME AGE.

Solution is don't worry. Make the best coffee or hot chocolate you can, and enjoy it with a the best cookie.

I remember that I had same problem, and it was making me upset. Sometimes when I was praying toward Allah, vulgar thought(about Ahlulbait) used to come into my mind. It was very hard for me. I was feeling guilty, but now I don't have that problem any more. What I did, I just studied hard. I tried to be first student at my school(and I did), and gradually those thought never came. I became too busy with exams with helping my mum and everything that I forgot it.

Be relaxed and don't exaggerate this rudimentary thing by telling "I have OCD"

Edited by AmirAlmuminin Lover
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  • Advanced Member
22 hours ago, Marzii said:

Sister 3wliya_maryam...have you gone through the same dilemma...???

If yes.. then how did you overcame it...or have you not till now???

Yes I have gone through it, and Alhamdullilah its gone, only sometimes I get it but I don't make it a big deal; you can private message me if you want and I'll try to help you

Fee amanillah

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  • 1 month later...
  • Basic Members
On 1/7/2018 at 11:41 AM, 3wliya_maryam said:

Yes I have gone through it, and Alhamdullilah its gone, only sometimes I get it but I don't make it a big deal; you can private message me if you want and I'll try to help you

Fee amanillah

How do i contact you through private message... i want to speak to you about this

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On 2/17/2018 at 2:15 AM, Umme Hadi said:

How do i contact you through private message... i want to speak to you about this

Click on the username of the person. Then you are going to be on their profile. Then click  " message"

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On 07/01/2018 at 10:11 PM, 3wliya_maryam said:

Yes I have gone through it, and Alhamdullilah its gone, only sometimes I get it but I don't make it a big deal; you can private message me if you want and I'll try to help you

Fee amanillah

Sister... i want to contact you for this... can u pls private message me as im unable to send msg to u

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  • 10 months later...
  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)

Imam Qazwini Explains Why Muslims Are OCD About Cleanliness

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member (With Brothers Forum Membership)
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  • Advanced Member
On 1/13/2018 at 3:27 PM, Marzii said:

Everything...!!!

I tend to doubt everything about Islam..

About God...

About the existence of God..even when I want to believe in Allah.. please I don't want to be a kafir and go to help..

Please don't mind my bad english

Its not an issue. Its not an issue having doubts, the only issue is if you search for answers or you have doubts and dont bother looking.

if you have doubts, raise questions and do your research to find answers, it strengthens your faith actually.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member

This actually isnt that uncommon, the mind tends to wander to the things that one would never do nor act upon, but thinks of notheless. I would recommend that when these thoughts come up just acknowledge them and let them pass they hold no weight over you, and know that you have done anything wrong, nor have you acted on these thoughts. Additionally know that more so than anything that your relationship with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and the Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) is just that, a relationship. So begin to speak with them on the regular, telling them about your problems, your day etc. while this might seem small it fosters an additional sense of respect and reverence that may otherwise not be possible.

In regards to you thinking you have OCD, you may want to get that checked out with a Physician, do the Symptoms appear in your personal life apart from your religious one?

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  • 2 months later...
  • 1 year later...
Guest diadrh

Salam brothers and sisters, is anyone still active on here? I need to clarify some questions as I’m going through the same struggles as all of you, and I need all the help I can get. Jazakallah. 

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