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In the Name of God بسم الله

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On 10/12/2018 at 11:25 AM, Carlzone said:

Sister, how do you handle them? Are you submissive? Or excusing towards them?

Neither. I just tend to ignore and go my way. I remind myself of Bibi Fatima (as) and events after the death of RasulAllah (as), of the ladies in Shaam after 10th of Muharram, of Hazrat Shoaib's daughters and pray to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى to give me strength and protect my honour. 

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Alhamdullilah, may Allah accept all of our good deeds, forgive all of our bad deeds, and allow us to reflect on the year and think about how we could better improve in the coming year. May he allow us

New year new thoughts thread!  Special thanks to a person who wishes to remain anonymous. 

The clothing of a woman depicts her upbringing by her father, the sense of honour (ghayrah) of her brother, the manliness of  her husband, her keenness to emulate her mother and above all, her conciou

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1 hour ago, Irfani313 said:

Another missed opp for our Muslim groups here to gain +ve coverage in Media. 

Like this?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/pittsburgh-shooting-muslim-led-launchgood-fundraiser-raises-money-for-funeral-costs-of-synagogue-shooting-victims/

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4 hours ago, notme said:

This is beautiful. 

A year ago one of the area mosques was threatened to be surrounded by the gun wielding members of some odd church. Two members of a national political group (don’t want to name them but you could guess who) showed up in solidarity with the mosque. The local news kept showing those two against the dozen or so antagonists who had gathered around.

Or some of us delivering food to the non-Muslim lawyers when the visa ban came a few months ago.

Or soon after 9-11, members of local churches made a human chain around our mosque for symbolic protection of Muslims.

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12 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

Or soon after 9-11, members of local churches made a human chain around our mosque for symbolic protection of Muslims

http://en.abna24.com/news/iran/iranian-fm-condemns-terror-attack-on-pittsburgh-synagogue_914672.html

Iranian FM condemns terror attack on Pittsburgh synagogue

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1 minute ago, starlight said:

Women have very little financial responsibility except maybe some personal financial expenses and extreme luxury items they want. 

On the other hand, a man is solely responsible for the complete maintenance of his wife, his family and any other needy relations. It is his duty by law to assume all financial responsibilities and maintain his dependents adequately. It is also his duty to contribute financially to all good causes in his society. Yet, it's funny how I come across very few men complaining about bearing all these financial burdens alone and every other woman protesting about her right to work. Lolz.

It's because these all these laws are on paper alone. We are assuming that all men are God-fearing law abiding people who follow all the rules and just women have rights on paper, they get these rights. The reality is completely different. And women protest about their right to work because there's a thing called financial abuse. 

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11 minutes ago, starlight said:

Women have very little financial responsibility except maybe some personal financial expenses and extreme luxury items they want. 

On the other hand, a man is solely responsible for the complete maintenance of his wife, his family and any other needy relations. It is his duty by law to assume all financial responsibilities and maintain his dependents adequately. It is also his duty to contribute financially to all good causes in his society. Yet, it's funny how I come across very few men complaining about bearing all these financial burdens alone and every other woman protesting about her right to work. Lolz.

In my experience, men complain all the time (as in, non stop) about their financial burdens and women often have crushing responsibilities - but are not supposed to complain.  Where do you get the idea that women do not work other than by choice?  Women always work; back breaking and exhausting work - bearing  and rearing children, looking after a house, supporting a husband in all ways, dealing with elderly relatives, in laws, etc - there are no scheduled breaks and no time off and they are usually very much taken for granted. However,  some women will actively seek acknowledgement and recognition in the paid (financial and otherwise) workforce and many want to utilize their brains and education to better the community.  There is nothing wrong with that.

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1 minute ago, Maryaam said:

In my experience, men complain all the time

My experience has been different. I haven't come across even a single man in real life who has complained about being the breadwinner. Probably because things are still different back here and men and women still follow the stereotypical gender roles. 

5 minutes ago, Maryaam said:

Where do you get the idea that women do not work other than by choice?

How did you reach this conclusion about me? And of all people me? Who has been studying and working at the same time and raising two children alone for almost a decade and trying to look after an old parent on the side. 

Relax, I wasn't attacking anyone.It was just a 'thought'. 

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25 minutes ago, starlight said:

protesting about her right to work

Nothing pleases me more than my right to NOT work! I am fortunate and blessed to (finally!) have a decent husband. 

The first (before I was Muslim) was mentally ill and needed constant care. I was the only one in our family who consistently worked. After he threatened to harm our children, I divorced him. As far as I know, his mother takes care of him now. 

The second ("good sayyid Shia guy from a reputable family") was selfish and simply refused to fulfill his obligations. He left us homeless and destitute, while he was living alone pursuing superfluous degrees and plastic surgery to beautify himself. 

They say third time is the charm. :) It's been 4 1/2 years. So far, so good. 

 

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1 minute ago, notme said:

It's been 4 1/2 years. So far, so good. 

May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى bless you with lots of happiness and prosperity .You deserve all the good in life.

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1 hour ago, starlight said:

My experience has been different. I haven't come across even a single man in real life who has complained about being the breadwinner. Probably because things are still different back here and men and women still follow the stereotypical gender roles. 

How did you reach this conclusion about me? And of all people me? Who has been studying and working at the same time and raising two children alone for almost a decade and trying to look after an old parent on the side. 

Relax, I wasn't attacking anyone.It was just a 'thought'. 

Dear Sister,

Would you please stop explaining yourself!  You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.  Allah knows who you are, He understands all that you are going through.  You do not need approval from anyone especially on SC!  It is not necessary for you to put your personal life in a post and explain your position.   

" You never really understand a person unless you consider things from his point of view. To climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."  1:14

 

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

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Back in 1980, the Hunt Brothers testified before a Congressional committee about their attempts to 'corner' the silver market as a hedge to inflation.

One of the committee members asked how they could afford to lose a billion dollars. To which the one brother infamously replied, "A billion dollars isn't what it use to be." (l believe this is the exact quote. -ed).

Now we can read this:  https://www.cnbc.com/2018/10/31/the-stock-market-lost-more-than-2-trillion-in-october.html 

So, l guess l can say, "A trillion dollars ain't what it use to be." :grin:

Note: back then, l use to tell students the Federal Reserve is and will continue to be their worst enemy in life.

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7 hours ago, eloquence said:

had (another) psych evaluation today and the lady made faces at some of the stuff I said and IT MADE ME CRY.

im so embarrassing.................

People have suggested me to go to counseling for marriage and other problems, but I am scared to go. From what I have seen on tv (Dr. Phil) and others, it seems like psychologists start by pretending to be sympathetic and understanding to you, but later they start saying really mean stuff. I don't understand how listening to such mean comments can help an already depressed person. It happened in a Pakistani morning show I watched recently, there was a woman who had full custody of her kids from court, but her husband kept kidnapping her kids and he didn't give her any maintenance either. The psychologist was like, I know that police is corrupt, and laws are not being implemented but I want to empower you. He kept blaming her, and by the end of show, that poor woman started crying. 

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1 hour ago, rkazmi33 said:

The psychologist was like, I know that police is corrupt, and laws are not being implemented but I want to empower you. He kept blaming her, and by the end of show, that poor woman started crying. 

That’s terrible. And on National TV too lol. But they probably have to do that kind of stuff for more views. Everything on tv is faked anyway. Also I think you should go to counseling if you think you need it. I know it’s a lot easier said that done but it can really help. I’ve tried a lot of different times with various therapists and had bad experiences too. My current therapist is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. She’s very kind and it’s so easy to talk to her and I always feel better after I’ve spoken to her. I’ve also been able to make small changes that have helped me tremendously. 

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1 hour ago, eloquence said:

That’s terrible. And on National TV too lol. But they probably have to do that kind of stuff for more views. Everything on tv is faked anyway. Also I think you should go to counseling if you think you need it. I know it’s a lot easier said that done but it can really help. I’ve tried a lot of different times with various therapists and had bad experiences too. My current therapist is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. She’s very kind and it’s so easy to talk to her and I always feel better after I’ve spoken to her. I’ve also been able to make small changes that have helped me tremendously. 

She didn't want to cry and she was embarrassed about it. But she was feeling so hurt, she couldn't control her tears. In the beginning of show, they were nice to her, but her husband is powerful. They called him in middle of show to get his perspective and I guess he threatened them, so then they got scared and they started blaming that woman. 

I will try counseling. I watched Dr Phil show and because of that I was always scared of psychologists. I think I need counseling because it's becoming harder and harder to get along with people. 

 

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2 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

I believe i am becoming indifferent to "Islamic" politics, trouble is, although I may write a thread on it in the Politics/Current Events section. I have no idea how to approach the subject tactfully and with care. Any pointers?

Can you please elaborate a bit more on the term, brother?

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