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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Alhamdullilah, may Allah accept all of our good deeds, forgive all of our bad deeds, and allow us to reflect on the year and think about how we could better improve in the coming year. May he allow us

New year new thoughts thread!  Special thanks to a person who wishes to remain anonymous. 

The clothing of a woman depicts her upbringing by her father, the sense of honour (ghayrah) of her brother, the manliness of  her husband, her keenness to emulate her mother and above all, her conciou

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19 hours ago, Reza said:

 Being ill is not fun...

Get well soon. I have two family members who are sick. Today I have been sneezing a lot. Not looking forward to the later symptoms. :( 

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21 hours ago, notme said:

Only some people do.

I'm just glad I learned about Islam before I knew Muslims. 

This reminds me of something my ex told me. An uhty we know was assigned by her employer to lead some project in the community --l forget what, now. About half the group of 25 were Muslims and the other half Christians. The Muslims horsed around while the Christians got organized and strove and dove into the project. Things got so far behind that she asked my ex and 3-4 other sisters to help. After several days, while this project was still in progress, the uhty said to my ex and the other sisters, "l hope none of them revert."

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4 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Some teenagers can be so arrogant. :(:(

 

3 hours ago, Heavenly_Silk said:

No kidding! Some can be so rude too especially when they are with their peers.

Ain't you two ever heard of 'knuckle sandwiches'?

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5 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Some teenagers can be so arrogant. :(:(

Thats because they are in a society that accepts their arrogant behavior.

For example, where I live, if some teenager are loud and shouting in a restaurant most adults will remain quiet and be annoyed, just to complain about it between each other after they have left.

But the right action is to tell the teenagers to sit down and shut up, but people do not do this, so the teenagers will keep pushing the boundaries of what they can get away with.

 

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3 hours ago, Heavenly_Silk said:

Is that what you do when you babysit? :cry:

@ali_fatheroforphans......RUN!

Mashallah we're both doing a great job to expose him. People need to take us more seriously to prevent a potential catastrophic event from happening.

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8 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Some teenagers can be so arrogant. :(:(

Oldheads hate young people cause they're mad young people can still live life while they're old and boring. Facts.

I wish I stay 19 forever. Sadly I'm gonna be old one day and have all these responsibilities I'm not ready for.

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3 hours ago, IbnSina said:

But the right action is to tell the teenagers to sit down and shut up, but people do not do this, so the teenagers will keep pushing the boundaries of what they can get away with.

No one can tell me to sit down and shut up except my parents or my elders.

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1 hour ago, Sumerian said:

Oldheads hate young people cause they're mad young people can still live life while they're old and boring. Facts.

I wish I stay 19 forever. Sadly I'm gonna be old one day and have all these responsibilities I'm not ready for.

Nah man, as a 21 year old I'm glad my teenage years are over. 

Seeing some arrogant teenagers in my local community is just frustrating. I know a group of guys( 14-17 years old) who call this teenage girl 'fat'. Now, she has been affected so much, I can just tell whenever she talks. She also eats very less so that she loses weight :(:(

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I must endeavour to not make references to people when discussing something. With hindsight I have come to realise that I wouldn't like it if someone was to make an example out of me - even if they had the very best of intentions. I know that it is not possible for me to apologise to the person referenced in 'that' thread as our paths will never cross; but I am sorry if my thread is considered to be gheebat in any way. That was never my aim. My new years resolution 11 years ago was to apologise whenever I realise, or even doubt that I am wrong, and to whomever I have wronged/potentially wronged - even if it was unintentional. I also vowed to be thankful to everyone/anyone who has helped me in any way. I hope and pray that I can be steadfast in adhering to this. Ameen.  

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14 hours ago, Heavenly_Silk said:

Is that what you do when you baby sit?

Far from it.

l have the time to be real patient with him. At his age he doesn't have the vocabulary to interact much. Today he said, "l Iike cookies." which is one of his 'true' beginning sentences. So he has to do things so l react and thereby develop some semblance of social interaction.

The problem-of-the-day this Saturday was spitting. Earlier he did cough while sharing my cocoa and splattered the drink on the floor. "Clean Up on Kitchen  Floor" :angry:.  But the real problem is he started spitting --on the floor, on the furniture and so forth. So it took about 5+ minutes to get into his head that his mother will smack his face for doing this. Slow motion demonstrations. Finally he said something like "speet mommy smeck" and had this worried look on his face. Then back to 'normal'.

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6 hours ago, Aflower said:

With hindsight I have come to realise that I wouldn't like it if someone was to make an example out of me - even if they had the very best of intentions

Very wise mashallah :)

However 'gheebat' can be tricky at times as we don't necessarily know where to draw the line. Therefore I don't really blame you as I'm sure you had the purest of intentions of wanting to get a simple point across. Some people backbite to simply 'defame' someone (which was not you). For example,  just see in the Youtube comment section, and it is literally full of gheebat. You'll see people who can't intellectually disagree with a speaker, so they resort to inappropriate remarks such as 'that guy has a tattoo', 'he doesn't even have a beard', 'he doesn't even look like a Muslim to start with'.

However there is nothing wrong in disagreeing with a speaker if we feel that it is affecting the general Muslim population. For example if a speaker is doing something which goes against the Sharia then it is our right to make people aware, so they don't become mislead.  However we have to do it respectfully. 

But yeah, you did make a second thread where you wanted to get a simple point across, which was reasonable. However a lot of people digressed and referred to the previous thread (I'm guilty of this) when they shouldn't have.

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8 hours ago, Sumerian said:

Some people hate me cause I'm assertive and I don't beat around the bush. I'm straight to the point, no playing around. 

You better learn how to play around or you'll be a miserable adult. Assertive is a good trait as long as assertive is the right word. 

Us oldheads don't hate teens. They are the future. We'd just like to see them do better. I'm not jealous they can do what I did in my youth, the majority of youth can't do it either. Teens have no experience with calluses, the new injury these days is "text neck". They look at an i-pad and think they know electronics but have no idea the inner workings of a simple light switch. Sounds silly? Ask them.

We're concerned because what we see out there now is a bunch of entitled thin skinned narcissists. I coached baseball for 15 years. It's really hard to build a teem when everybody is all about themselves. They don't like to hear the "point". They prefer to find a reason to be offended thus dodging the point. Everybody wants to lead, and are angered they don't have followers. Social media strips kids of interpersonal relationships for the sake of marketing. We see it happening, teens don't, nor do they care. 

Don't remember the source, (no doubt USA), but a survey asked some thousand 16 yr old girls what they wanted to be in their adult life. 65% said they wanted to be celebrities. I'm not sure if they are capable of handling the disappointment.

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^^^^So today, my little sister needed me to baby sit this early afternoon. l asked her if nephew had been spitting. She said "No", and immediately nephew looked worried even before she turned around and then he said, "no speht, no speht".  :clap:  Little sister just stared at him so he backed up and then stepped sideways to get behind me. l explained to her then about what he did yesterday and how l tried to get him to understand smack-in-the-face. Then she asked me if l hit him. A "no"  of course.

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On 4/7/2018 at 9:14 AM, Sumerian said:

Oldheads hate young people cause they're mad young people can still live life while they're old and boring. Facts.

I wish I stay 19 forever. Sadly I'm gonna be old one day and have all these responsibilities I'm not ready for.

See, it's not that old people hate young people, or at least not with any reason for it.  The media is attempting to brainwash old people into hating (or at least feeling superior to) young people.  The more they can divide us, the easier we are to control.  Just don't buy it. (And don't knock boring - it's awesome! I love being boring!)

As for getting older and having more responsibilities, getting older ain't so bad as long as you do what you can to keep your body healthy, and you can choose which responsibilities you want for the most part. (Though you can't change your mind about some of them.)

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Thoughts:  I realized my kids talk weird because I read a lot.  They've got second hand five dollar words.

We went to the USA Science and Engineering Festival over the weekend.  It's always a good time, free, educational, but crazy crowded.

Also, over the weekend my six year old got into an argument with an optics engineer over primary colors.  He told her that red and green make yellow.  She replied "I've been painting for a long time, and I can tell you with certainty, mixing red and green makes brown, not yellow.  You can't make yellow from other colors.  Yellow is a primary color."  She argued with him for several minutes before I finally cut in and said simply "the primary colors of light are not the same as the primary colors of paint." Her mind was blown.

Also realized when you're a small child sitting in a stroller, all you see at crowded events is the legs of big people.  My three year old was remarkably patient and well behaved anyway.  He picked up some science comic books that he enjoyed flipping through, and he liked looking at the event map.

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6 hours ago, notme said:

Also, over the weekend my six year old got into an argument with an optics engineer over primary colors.  He told her that red and green make yellow.  She replied "I've been painting for a long time, and I can tell you with certainty, mixing red and green makes brown, not yellow.  You can't make yellow from other colors.  Yellow is a primary color."  She argued with him for several minutes before I finally cut in and said simply "the primary colors of light are not the same as the primary colors of paint." Her mind was blown.

:grin: My mind was blown about this for quite awhile during the beginning of this year. As a painter it was very difficult to wrap my head around the concept of differing primary colors. Depending on the situation the primary colors are red-blue-yellow, red-blue-green, or yellow-cyan-magenta. I'm still a little angry about this but I'm learning to accept it :p

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9 minutes ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

Is arbaeen 31 October this year? Anyone knows?

It depends on where you live! Arbaeen (2018) might be October 29, 30 or 31. Since Arbaeen is always Safar 20, when you see the crescent moon to start the month of Safar (where you live) you will know when it is. InShaAllah.  

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I heard in a documentary about Scientology that every member gives  around $300,000 to the organization during a life-time. I feel that Shias are also becoming like that. I feel pressure from my community to increase my yearly income up to $100000. They tell me to either buy a house, start a business, or get admission in college to get masters or professional degree. I don't think I will get admission in a professional college, getting a masters degree won't increase my income, and of course my business will fail. I don't need to earn $100,000 a year because my expenses are not that much. But community has like 15 different projects and for those projects, they are always asking for money. I know a couple of middle aged people who have a debt of $200,000-$300,000. They don't earn a lot of money but I know they didn't collect all this debt due to poor spending habits. My guess is they spent a lot of money due to the community (socializing, maintaining living standard). Their income is not going to increase and they will probably die without paying their debt. My question is will they be held responsible for all this debt? I have a feeling I will also end up owing a lot of debt because people keep asking me for money. Are we becoming inspired by Scientology and is it really fair to expect each and every Shia in the west to contribute 200K or 300 K towards the community? 

The most ridiculous demand is they expect community to pay for education of students who are enrolled in professional colleges. All professional students take loans and pay off the loans later because they earn a lot of money after getting their degrees. Why Shia students cannot do the same? Why do I have to pay their fees? What will I get in return? 

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1 hour ago, rkazmi33 said:

I heard in a documentary about Scientology that every member gives  around $300,000 to the organization during a life-time. I feel that Shias are also becoming like that. I feel pressure from my community to increase my yearly income up to $100000. They tell me to either buy a house, start a business, or get admission in college to get masters or professional degree. I don't think I will get admission in a professional college, getting a masters degree won't increase my income, and of course my business will fail. I don't need to earn $100,000 a year because my expenses are not that much. But community has like 15 different projects and for those projects, they are always asking for money. I know a couple of middle aged people who have a debt of $200,000-$300,000. They don't earn a lot of money but I know they didn't collect all this debt due to poor spending habits. My guess is they spent a lot of money due to the community (socializing, maintaining living standard). Their income is not going to increase and they will probably die without paying their debt. My question is will they be held responsible for all this debt? I have a feeling I will also end up owing a lot of debt because people keep asking me for money. Are we becoming inspired by Scientology and is it really fair to expect each and every Shia in the west to contribute 200K or 300 K towards the community? 

The most ridiculous demand is they expect community to pay for education of students who are enrolled in professional colleges. All professional students take loans and pay off the loans later because they earn a lot of money after getting their degrees. Why Shia students cannot do the same? Why do I have to pay their fees? What will I get in return? 

Somebody has to go out and do the real work. It doesn't pay as well because it keeps the white collars employed. Christians are encouraged to give 10%...to the church. My studies say charity is charity, it comes from the heart, and means nothing if it's obliged. it doesn't have to be to one place, it doesn't have to be cash, (it can be time), and would God really expect you to live in debt so others don't have to? 

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I hear many Sunni speakers emphasis the importance of displaying good akhlaq when it comes to talking to non-Muslims. You'll hear many who stress that good akhlaq invites people to your religion. However why does everyone justify bad akhlaq when it comes to us Shias? Why is hatred against a Muslim of another different sect justified?

You'll see people make videos mocking our scholars, dedicating Facebook pages to annihilate Shiism, laughing after seeing Shias being killed. After all, what is it really about Shias that aggravates these so called extremists? I don't see them worrying about Christians etc. (Not that they should).

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35 minutes ago, Son of Placid said:

Somebody has to go out and do the real work. It doesn't pay as well because it keeps the white collars employed. Christians are encouraged to give 10%...to the church. My studies say charity is charity, it comes from the heart, and means nothing if it's obliged. it doesn't have to be to one place, it doesn't have to be cash, (it can be time), and would God really expect you to live in debt so others don't have to? 

According to Shia Islam, you are only required to give 20% from your savings every year. I saw a documentary on Scientology and I noticed many similarities. My guess is there is a successful and powerful scientologist in my community and other people are just following that person blindly. Scientology teaches tools to be successful in career and in almost every family, there's at least one person who is earning more than $100,000. The families, who don't have doctors/ pharmacists/ businessmen end up taking a lot of debt. 

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7 hours ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

Is arbaeen 31 October this year? Anyone knows?

Salam in Iran it is  30 October in Calendar.

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