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In the Name of God بسم الله

2nd Marriage with same wife

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One of my friend had divorced, now  her husband want to remarry with her! but their are some following problems;

1. Her ex husband is a married guy and still want to marry her.

2. She did not do 2nd marriage.

3. He doesn't want to inform his 2nd wife about his intentions.

4. They are divorced since 2009, so like 18 years they have been apart!

Need your guidance!

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hi i think that he can remarriage with her but must inform & ask about it to his current wife but he must ask it from his marja.

http://islamic-laws.com/tawzeh/marriage.htm

http://islamic-laws.com/tawzeh/divorce.htm

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41 minutes ago, Abbass_Ali said:

1. Her ex husband is a married guy and still want to marry her

 

42 minutes ago, Abbass_Ali said:

3. He doesn't want to inform his 2nd wife about his intentions.

 Based on those two facts, I think she should refuse the ex. Is she reciprocating the ex husband's intentions? How does she feel about this situation?

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On 12/11/2017 at 3:26 AM, Gaius I. Caesar said:

 Based on those two facts, I think she should refuse the ex. Is she reciprocating the ex husband's intentions? How does she feel about this situation?

She is confused, and seeking help, as well true guidance! as I myself doesn't know anything about rules! and she doesn't want to mess it up again. She believes it is important to check the reality instead goes with will.

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5 minutes ago, Abbass_Ali said:

She is confused, and seeking help, as well true guidance! as I myself doesn't know anything about rules! and she doesn't want to mess it up again. She believes it is important to check the reality instead goes with will.

Ok I see, does she follow Sistani by any chance?

Because he says that a man must ask permission of the first wife. So already the ex is doing haram by concealing his intentions to the woman he married but that is for mutah, not sure about nikah.

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1 minute ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Ok I see, does she follow Sistani by any chance?

Because he says that a man must ask permission of the first wife. So already the ex is doing haram by concealing his intentions to the woman he married but that is for mutah, not sure about nikah.

I guess he told her that he wants to do nikah! not sure about mut`ah either!

I will ask her about who she follow. if she follows Sistani! then i guess it is not feasible if he is not seeking his wife's permission!

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Just now, Abbass_Ali said:

I guess he told her that he wants to do nikah! not sure about mut`ah either!

I will ask her about who she follow. if she follows Sistani! then i guess it is not feasible if he is not seeking his wife's permission!

Sounds like a good idea. Why did they divorce earlier?

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2 minutes ago, Abbass_Ali said:

I never asked! since it is her personal space! and never wanted her to get upset or depressed!

Well, if you asked politely and with tact, she would probably tell you.  Plus, if she divorced him because of him doing against Islam and unacceptable, she would have answered her own question and never given him a second thought.

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Just now, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Well, if you asked politely and with tact, she would probably tell you.  Plus, if she divorced him because of him doing against Islam and unacceptable, she would have answered her own question and never given him a second thought.

As far i know her! she is bit aggressive than him! she argues too much! so i can't say who was right or wrong! as i can't make her uncomfortable! so far she have shared all her problem with me! but never shared her divorce story..

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3 hours ago, Abbass_Ali said:

One of my friend had divorced, now  her husband want to remarry with her! but their are some following problems;

1. Her ex husband is a married guy and still want to marry her.

2. She did not do 2nd marriage.

3. He doesn't want to inform his 2nd wife about his intentions.

4. They are divorced since 2009, so like 18 years they have been apart!

Need your guidance!

She did not do 2nd marriage

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On 12/11/2017 at 3:56 AM, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Ok I see, does she follow Sistani by any chance?

Because he says that a man must ask permission of the first wife. So already the ex is doing haram by concealing his intentions to the woman he married but that is for mutah, not sure about nikah.

No, he says the man must seek permission if he wants to marry a Christian or a Jewish lady. In fact, even after the first wife's permission, one shouldn't marry a Christian or a Jewish lady as per obligatory precaution.

However, if he wants to marry a Muslim lady, he doesn't need the permission of his first wife.

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On 12/11/2017 at 2:40 AM, Abbass_Ali said:

One of my friend had divorced, now  her husband want to remarry with her! but their are some following problems;

1. Her ex husband is a married guy and still want to marry her.

2. She did not do 2nd marriage.

3. He doesn't want to inform his 2nd wife about his intentions.

4. They are divorced since 2009, so like 18 years they have been apart!

Need your guidance!

He's just using her. She needs some self respect. It's a bad idea

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On 12/11/2017 at 2:40 AM, Abbass_Ali said:

One of my friend had divorced, now  her husband want to remarry with her! but their are some following problems;

1. Her ex husband is a married guy and still want to marry her.

2. She did not do 2nd marriage.

3. He doesn't want to inform his 2nd wife about his intentions.

4. They are divorced since 2009, so like 18 years they have been apart!

Need your guidance!

Salaam Alaykum

Number one, two, and four are OK, but number three is confusing. They have to talk with each other(your friend and her ex) to see what is the reason behind that. Does he want to hide it forever?

How is he going to manage two marriages and job and children together?

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On 12/11/2017 at 7:24 AM, Sumerian said:

No, he says the man must seek permission if he wants to marry a Christian or a Jewish lady. In fact, even after the first wife's permission, one shouldn't marry a Christian or a Jewish lady as per obligatory precaution.

However, if he wants to marry a Muslim lady, he doesn't need the permission of his first wife.

Did you read this part?

On 12/11/2017 at 3:56 AM, Gaius I. Caesar said:

So already the ex is doing haram by concealing his intentions to the woman he married but that is for mutah, not sure about nikah.

I agree with @Smiles786, he's just using her from the info presented here.

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:salam:

Well just in case no one mentioned it, in Islamic law, once a couple is divorced, the woman must marry another man, consumate the marriage and divorce him before she can re-marry the first husband. One cannot just divorce and re-marry like nothing happened.

That may make you friend and her ex-husband think twice.

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26 minutes ago, realizm said:

:salam:

Well just in case no one mentioned it, in Islamic law, once a couple is divorced, the woman must marry another man, consumate the marriage and divorce him before she can re-marry the first husband. One cannot just divorce and re-marry like nothing happened.

That may make you friend and her ex-husband think twice.

To my knowledge that is not the case first time around but after you have divorced each other 3 times.

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On 12/11/2017 at 4:12 PM, realizm said:

:salam:

Well just in case no one mentioned it, in Islamic law, once a couple is divorced, the woman must marry another man, consumate the marriage and divorce him before she can re-marry the first husband. One cannot just divorce and re-marry like nothing happened.

That may make you friend and her ex-husband think twice.

Wrong. It is only if a man and a woman divorce three times that the woman must marry another man. According to the OP, they got divorced once. They can still get married "like nothing happened" again.

For Sunnis, if a man says "talaq talaq talaq" then that counts are three divorces and is therefore constitutes the irrevocable divorce in "one sitting" so to speak. Shia scholars understandably call this ridiculous because after the first "talaq" they are already divorced, so the second and the third "talaq" can't count as another divorce to a woman who has become non-mahram. If i got up to a random woman and shout "talaq" that does not mean anything because we're not married. Likewise, after the first talaq, the couple is no longer married and so anything you say after that is to a non-mahram.

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On 12/12/2017 at 6:07 AM, Ayuoobi said:

Wrong. It is only if a man and a woman divorce three times that the woman must marry another man. According to the OP, they got divorced once. They can still get married "like nothing happened" again.

For Sunnis, if a man says "talaq talaq talaq" then that counts are three divorces and is therefore constitutes the irrevocable divorce in "one sitting" so to speak. Shia scholars understandably call this ridiculous because after the first "talaq" they are already divorced, so the second and the third "talaq" can't count as another divorce to a woman who has become non-mahram. If i got up to a random woman and shout "talaq" that does not mean anything because we're not married. Likewise, after the first talaq, the couple is no longer married and so anything you say after that is to a non-mahram.

:salam:

Actually one cannot divorce until one got through the process of three successive divorces.

It is just the way of saying them which changes between sunni and shia. Sunnis say it three times in a row and it is irrevokable while shias have to go through two phases of reconciliation which if proved inefficient lead to a definitive divorce, the third. 

From the OP I got it that the divorce was pronounced so I assume they went through the process. If so, then as I said they cannot re-marry like that. If not then as you said good for them.

Edited by realizm
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1 hour ago, realizm said:

Actually one cannot divorce until one got through the process of three successive divorces.

It is just the way of saying them which changes between sunni and shia. Sunnis say it three times in a row and it is irrevokable while shias have to go through two phases of reconciliation which if proved inefficient lead to a definitive divorce, the third. 

From the OP I got it that the divorce was pronounced so I assume they went through the process. If so, then as I said they cannot re-marry like that. If not then as you said good for them.

I don't understand what you mean by 'the process of three successive divorces'. According to Imam Khamenei, all you need to say is "my wife <name of wife> is divorced" and the couple will be officially divorced after she finishes her iddah.

Quote

Q: How does a couple get divorced? Is their a specific formula they must both recite to make it official?

A:The man who is divorcing his wife should be sane and – by the obligatory caution – baligh (mature by shar`) and should divorces her by choice. The divorce should be made while the wife is pure of menses and nifas and her husband had no sex with her neither during this purity period nor during the menses/nifas prior to this purity. Divorce formula should be recited in a correct Arabic language and two just male witnesses should witness it. If the same husband wants to say the divorce formula (and his wife’s name is Fatimah for example) he should say:
زَوْجَتِى فاطِمَةُ طالِقٌ
‘My wife Fatimah is divorced’. But if he gives the power of attorney to another person to say it on his behalf, the attorney should say:
زَوْجَةُ مُوكِّلى فاطِمَةُ طالِقٌ
‘Fatimah, the wife of my client, is divorced’.

 

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6 hours ago, realizm said:

:salam:

Actually one cannot divorce until one got through the process of three successive divorces.

It is just the way of saying them which changes between sunni and shia. Sunnis say it three times in a row and it is irrevokable while shias have to go through two phases of reconciliation which if proved inefficient lead to a definitive divorce, the third. 

From the OP I got it that the divorce was pronounced so I assume they went through the process. If so, then as I said they cannot re-marry like that. If not then as you said good for them.

Wrong. The divorce process is "talaq" with I believe 2 witnesses, then an idda period of 4 months in which they can reconcile if they choose.

If this 4 month period expires and they have not reconciled, that's 1 divorce. You still have 2 to go.

I am not sure what happens if they reconcile in the 4 month period (does that count as 1 divorce still? What if they divorce, reconcile before the iddah is finished, then divorce again, then reconcile before iddah, then divorce again, etc.) Perhaps @Qa'im can answer.

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3 hours ago, Ayuoobi said:

Wrong. The divorce process is "talaq" with I believe 2 witnesses, then an idda period of 4 months in which they can reconcile if they choose.

If this 4 month period expires and they have not reconciled, that's 1 divorce. You still have 2 to go.

I am not sure what happens if they reconcile in the 4 month period (does that count as 1 divorce still? What if they divorce, reconcile before the iddah is finished, then divorce again, then reconcile before iddah, then divorce again, etc.) Perhaps @Qa'im can answer.

 

8 hours ago, Hassan- said:

I don't understand what you mean by 'the process of three successive divorces'. According to Imam Khamenei, all you need to say is "my wife <name of wife> is divorced" and the couple will be officially divorced after she finishes her iddah.

 

Hmm. I always thought they stayed halal to each other after the first two talaq and onlythe became haram after the third, but definitely. It seems from what you posted they have to pronounce nikah again if they want to stay together, and become haram forever after the third talaq. Unless woman re-marries in between.

Thanks for clarifying.

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