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In the Name of God بسم الله

Masturbation

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Salam alaikum,

I know masturbation is haraam but im very addicited to it and i dont know how to stop, I always try to stop but the maximum is that i wont do it for a week or two but will start again. This stops me from praying as you cant perfom salah in the state janabah.

Is there anyone who could help me, Im really disappointed with myself ?

Can i pray even in the state of janabah (as im not able to perfom ghusl all time )

please please help mee im really worried please help me break this habit.

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4 hours ago, Ali Hassan Hussain said:

Salam alaikum,

I know masturbation is haraam but im very addicited to it and i dont know how to stop, I always try to stop but the maximum is that i wont do it for a week or two but will start again. This stops me from praying as you cant perfom salah in the state janabah.

Is there anyone who could help me, Im really disappointed with myself ?

Can i pray even in the state of janabah (as im not able to perfom ghusl all time )

please please help mee im really worried please help me break this habit.

The key to stopping such Haram is fourfold. 

One try to determine your triggers; are you watching lascivious movies, soft or other pornographic images  ( the commandant for males to look down is powerful way to avoid sexual stimulation).

Two come up with activities which will occupy your time so you will not have idle hands; reading, exercise, throw yourself into your work/school, spend time with friends or groups, avoid being alone, keep your bedroom door wide open, don't spend excessive time in bathroom, play non sexual video games, read news, watch non sexual videos, essentially find activity you enjoy and which wull prevent you from falling off the wagon so to speak. 

Third, seek to increase your spirituality and nearness to Allah TWT, if you take One step to him he will take 10 to you. If you walk to him he will run to you. Fasting  ( everyday if necessary) , salaat (especially salutul Layl which is miraculous), read more Quran , read past Shia chat discussions on masturbation, involve yourself with other Muslims who guide you towards eemaan.

Finally fourth if all of the above is not working and your hormonal urges are uncontrollable them I suggest permanent marriage as best option and if not feasible then Muta as a less desirable but still non haram option. 

Control of the animal desires and nafs is the Jihad al Akbar. At least you have recognised your problem and are looking for help to conquer your evil desires. If you make mistakes do astghfaar and don't stop seeking Allah'S guidance and pleasure.

You can PM  me and I can offer you more help if needed. 

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Masturbation is a behavioural addiction which doesn't go away on its own. You have to make serious changes in your life and build new healthy habits - to get rid of it. 

Trust me, there are millions of Muslim men who are addicted. Even the most religious men, confess being addicted to masturbation. However, there are even those who don't have this addiction(I believe these people are a minority in this day and age).

The best thing to do is to focus on the 'new you'. It is not the end of the world that you masturbate. It is possible to get rid of this horrible addiction, if you have the determination and will power. 

One tip which will help you along your journey, is to never say yes to sexual fantasies. It is impossible to get rid of this addiction if you keep fantasizing.

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Don't feel disheartened if you fail, keep trying the best you can not to get drawn to this elusiveness mode, you might relapse after a few months because masturbations/p**ngr*phy is like a drug.

Avoid it, try fasting for a day, if you can conquer your instincts to eat, you will dominate your other instincts.

If it wasn't enough you feel, try fasting some more. Moreover you should consider what said by @Hasani Samnani

Busy yourself. I found that to have worked for me, when I had free time reading religious books (which is like the worst thing that could ever happen to me, as I hate reading sadly) but it helped, and it felt like gaining my consciousness back.

Regards, [edit]

Edited by Hameedeh
[edit] Real name removed by request.
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I really appreciate your reponses but one of my concern is that im getting away from siratal mustaqeem, i know i cant go masjid in the state of janabah so i dont masjid as much, i know my namaz wont be accepted in that state so i stopped reading namaz. I feel so bad but when I try to stop it will work for 6-7 days and then start doing it on daily basis: is theyre any way thatbi could get closer to Allah?

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Finally my young Jedi there are a few more drastic strategies that can work but some of these could have negative side effects on mind,body and health. 

One way to control sexual urges is to Increase estrogen levels In the body and decrease testosterone. 

This can be done naturally by eating certain food which contain phytoestrogens.

How to Increase Estrogen!

Foods that Increase Estrogen Levels!

  • Soy Products
  • Oregano
  • Grapefruit
  • Licorice (The real thing, not the sugary red stuff

The other even more drastic way is used with sex offenders , they are administered either hormones which increase estrogen or block testosterone.

This also done with  pre op male to females.

with the side effect of gynecomastia, testicular atrophy, decreased assertiveness and aggression, erectile dysfunction, decreased sperm counts  risk of bone fractures/osteoporosis , feminization of appearance and many other side effects.

As a physician I would caution you that while this could be done I would advise against it strongly. Even in sex offenders this a very very last step in treatment. Adsitionally most likely you will need a prescription for most products  and have find a physician willing to  take a major risk in  giving off label meds and the long term risks like cancer cannot be quantified. 

I would suggest try the natural ways and see the effects before approaching more drastic risky treatments.

 

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I think we may have to appeal to our moderators to allow us to PM each other. I think or is not allowed to exchange email or phone numbers on forums.

So Dear moderators can we be allowed to exchange  PM despite being beginners ??

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23 hours ago, Ali Hassan Hussain said:

Salam alaikum,

I know masturbation is haraam but im very addicited to it and i dont know how to stop, I always try to stop but the maximum is that i wont do it for a week or two but will start again. This stops me from praying as you cant perfom salah in the state janabah.

Is there anyone who could help me, Im really disappointed with myself ?

Can i pray even in the state of janabah (as im not able to perfom ghusl all time )

please please help mee im really worried please help me break this habit.

Salaam Alaykum Brother

Know that Allah loves you, otherwise he wouldn't put this thought into your mind. Somebody asked Imam Sadegh that I do a sin over and over again and every single time I feel ashamed of myself. Imam Sadegh said:" Know that Allah loves you so much that he put this feeling into your mind".

Brother it's very hard and I understand it. I know how you feel whenever you need it. Try to spend more time with your family and try to find religious friends. They help you in not thinking about your desires. When you said you can avoid doing that for one or two week, I said this guy can avoid doing that forever. My brother,  you are young. Please please please don't pollute your clear heart with these rudimentary instantaneous satisfactions. You deserve more than that.

If you are in the position of having a simple marriage, talk with your dad. If not, talk with your dad to find a good religious girl for you and do Mutah till you find a job and change it to permanent marriage.

Allah bless you

Edited by AmirAlmuminin Lover
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@AmirAlmuminin Lover thanks for your response, mutaah is seen as a very bad thing in my culture even though were shias, half of my family is sunni and im sure i wont be allowed to do mutaah. The other things you recommend i think will be useful to leave this habit. 

Wasalam

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21 hours ago, Hasani Samnani said:

You can PM  me and I can offer you more help if needed. 

 

3 hours ago, Ali Hassan Hussain said:

@Hasani Samnani thanks a lot i will try the natural ways first, is there a way i could private message you because i was trying to text u before but couldnt please send me a private message.

 

1 hour ago, Hasani Samnani said:

I think we may have to appeal to our moderators to allow us to PM each other. I think or is not allowed to exchange email or phone numbers on forums.

So Dear moderators can we be allowed to exchange  PM despite being beginners ??

Salam. Sorry. Mods do not give special treatment to new members. :bye:  

Most of the members had to post 50 times to become an Advanced member. :itsok:

The Admins have been lenient to lower the post count to 25. Don't worry, you will get there soon!  :) 

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On 11/19/2017 at 8:15 PM, Ali Hassan Hussain said:

Salam alaikum,

I know masturbation is haraam but im very addicited to it and i dont know how to stop, I always try to stop but the maximum is that i wont do it for a week or two but will start again. This stops me from praying as you cant perfom salah in the state janabah.

Is there anyone who could help me, Im really disappointed with myself ?

Can i pray even in the state of janabah (as im not able to perfom ghusl all time )

please please help mee im really worried please help me break this habit.

Salaam, 

 

Feel free to start at this website: http://purifyyourgaze.com/ and their services run by professional behavioral health specialists. This is a free and anonymous service, so it should be of no negative consequence to you. 

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@Ali Hassan Hussain

Mutah or marriage is not a solution to getting rid of masturbation addiction. Unfortunately many Muslims are uneducated in this sense and feel that it is a magical solution.

As I said, masturbation is a behavioural addiction and it does not depend on you being married or not. Your brain is wired in a certain way (although you can fix it).

There are numerous cases of Muslim/non-Muslim men who are addicted to masturbation even when they are married. Having a mindset that "marriage will solve my problem" is horrible. Guys who say this have no will power to get their addiction sorted. I feel sorry for girls who have to put up with those guys.

Marriage is a way to keep you safe from masturbation to start with - so you don't develop an addiction. It can help you manage addiction but is not the ultimate solution.

I'm just saying this to give you a very honest advice, one which very few people will give you. 

Focus on building healthy habits. You need to have enough will power to say "no" when it comes to masturbation. Learn to hold yourself accountable. No matter how strong your desires are - it is possible to say no.

Join an online community with other people who also have similar problems, to educate yourself on the potential consequences. In addition, you need to tell someone who you trust, be he a psychologist, stranger, friend or anyone. Keeping this addiction to yourself is part of the problem.

Inshallah you can get rid of this addiction. Just man up and hold yourself accountable. 

 

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans
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You have the key. IF you are serious enough, you will be strong enough.

Join Nofap Reddit if you want, might be helpful.
KEEP TRYING do not give up. This is a WAR and a test of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى 
Message me if you want for questions or help

Edited by Mohammed-Mehdi
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