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Guest Nuha

I had written about my true love. My imaan is going weaker and weaker coz first time i liked someone and asked Allah for it and i am not granted my wish..this was my wish from the core of my heart..i still cry for him day nd night...sometimes  i become angry on Allah nd cant pray properly..now can u people clear two things to me ..(1) is marriage destined or is it that if i had made effort i would have got him     ( 2)3– Imam al-Sadiq (AS), when asked about infatuation, replied, ‘Hearts that are empty of the remembrance of Allah are given to taste by Allah the love of other than Him.’ [Amali al-Saduq, p. 531, no. 3]....can it be the reason i fell in his love...why Allah does so ? When Allah himself puts love of anyone in heart coz heart is empty..then why are we to be blamed..please help me to get out of this depression

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On 9/21/2017 at 10:41 AM, Guest Nuha said:

I had written about my true love. My imaan is going weaker and weaker coz first time i liked someone and asked Allah for it and i am not granted my wish..this was my wish from the core of my heart..i still cry for him day nd night...sometimes  i become angry on Allah nd cant pray properly..now can u people clear two things to me ..(1) is marriage destined or is it that if i had made effort i would have got him     ( 2)3– Imam al-Sadiq (AS), when asked about infatuation, replied, ‘Hearts that are empty of the remembrance of Allah are given to taste by Allah the love of other than Him.’ [Amali al-Saduq, p. 531, no. 3]....can it be the reason i fell in his love...why Allah does so ? When Allah himself puts love of anyone in heart coz heart is empty..then why are we to be blamed..please help me to get out of this depression

I am going to share a real story with you. 

There was this lady she was married to a fine young men he had a great job. He was doing good had a decent life. However, her wife wasn't happy with her job. She wanted him to join Airlines so they could travel the world but he was happy. He was making decent money and said i don't need to change my job i make around same money as a person in airlines. So why i should change my job? Her wife wanted to see the world and if you word of airline you get free tickets and other perks. Long story short she forced him and talked to many people and convinced him. So he applied and he got selected. She was very happy but after few years a guy met a air hostess /flight attend. they used to travel together and he started liking her so he married her and divorced his first wife. Now she regrets its she said i used to pray to Allah that  get him a job in airlines and Allah finally gave her whats she asked for and it ended up bad for her.

So if Allah is not giving you what you want there is something good, Just have faith and Thank to Allah for what you have before its too late.  

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Guest Nuha
On 9/21/2017 at 0:16 PM, Ron_Burgundy said:

I am going to share a real story with you. 

There was this lady she was married to a fine young men he had a great job. He was doing good had a decent life. However, her wife wasn't happy with her job. She wanted him to join Airlines so they could travel the world but he was happy. He was making decent money and said i don't need to change my job i make around same money as a person in airlines. So why i should change my job? Her wife wanted to see the world and if you word of airline you get free tickets and other perks. Long story short she forced him and talked to many people and convinced him. So he applied and he got selected. She was very happy but after few years a guy met a air hostess /flight attend. they used to travel together and he started liking her so he married her and divorced his first wife. Now she regrets its she said i used to pray to Allah that  get him a job in airlines and Allah finally gave her whats she asked for and it ended up bad for her.

So if Allah is not giving you what you want there is something good, Just have faith and Thank to Allah for what you have before its too late.  

Thanks really very helpful story...but dont understand then why i fell for him so deeply .why Allah did not save me from the first..and why am i nt able to forget him

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Guest Nuha
1 hour ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

I am going to share a real story with you. 

 

There was this lady she was married to a fine young men he had a great job. He was doing good had a decent life. However, her wife wasn't happy with her job. She wanted him to join Airlines so they could travel the world but he was happy. He was making decent money and said i don't need to change my job i make around same money as a person in airlines. So why i should change my job? Her wife wanted to see the world and if you word of airline you get free tickets and other perks. Long story short she forced him and talked to many people and convinced him. So he applied and he got selected. She was very happy but after few years a guy met a air hostess /flight attend. they used to travel together and he started liking her so he married her and divorced his first wife. Now she regrets its she said i used to pray to Allah that  get him a job in airlines and Allah finally gave her whats she asked for and it ended up bad for her.

So if Allah is not giving you what you want there is something good, Just have faith and Thank to Allah for what you have before its too late.  

Thanks again..does that mean i should stop asking Allah for the married boy 

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3 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

I had written about my true love. My imaan is going weaker and weaker coz first time i liked someone and asked Allah for it and i am not granted my wish..this was my wish from the core of my heart..i still cry for him day nd night...sometimes  i become angry on Allah nd cant pray properly..now can u people clear two things to me ..(1) is marriage destined or is it that if i had made effort i would have got him     ( 2)3– Imam al-Sadiq (AS), when asked about infatuation, replied, ‘Hearts that are empty of the remembrance of Allah are given to taste by Allah the love of other than Him.’ [Amali al-Saduq, p. 531, no. 3]....can it be the reason i fell in his love...why Allah does so ? When Allah himself puts love of anyone in heart coz heart is empty..then why are we to be blamed..please help me to get out of this depression

Imam Sadiq's quote may have many meanings dear sister. It could mean that when we do not love Allah, we actually are loving our wishes. 

The second thing is that you may like a thing today but Allah AWJ could choose something for you that is better than what you liked. So, be patient. 

Yeah, it might have happened that you would have tried and might have been successful to get him as your partner. But, now time has passed, you should, now, be patient and wait for Allah AWJ to send a good person for you. 

Another lesson for you in this whole story was that you are still alive right ? It means that not living with the person you desire do not end your life so you should understand that you are more important to Allah than your wishes. Be stronger sister. You will get a good husband and you should pray for that if you want it to happen. 

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2 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

Thanks really very helpful story...but dont understand then why i fell for him so deeply .why Allah did not save me from the first..and why am i nt able to forget him

Tell me what made you fall in love with this guy?Looks habits? He smelled good? :D 

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8 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

I had written about my true love. My imaan is going weaker and weaker coz first time i liked someone and asked Allah for it and i am not granted my wish..this was my wish from the core of my heart..i still cry for him day nd night...sometimes  i become angry on Allah nd cant pray properly..now can u people clear two things to me ..(1) is marriage destined or is it that if i had made effort i would have got him     ( 2)3– Imam al-Sadiq (AS), when asked about infatuation, replied, ‘Hearts that are empty of the remembrance of Allah are given to taste by Allah the love of other than Him.’ [Amali al-Saduq, p. 531, no. 3]....can it be the reason i fell in his love...why Allah does so ? When Allah himself puts love of anyone in heart coz heart is empty..then why are we to be blamed..please help me to get out of this depression

How old are you ?

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Guest Nuha
15 hours ago, Sindbad05 said:

Imam Sadiq's quote may have many meanings dear sister. It could mean that when we do not love Allah, we actually are loving our wishes. 

The second thing is that you may like a thing today but Allah AWJ could choose something for you that is better than what you liked. So, be patient. 

Yeah, it might have happened that you would have tried and might have been successful to get him as your partner. But, now time has passed, you should, now, be patient and wait for Allah AWJ to send a good person for you. 

Another lesson for you in this whole story was that you are still alive right ? It means that not living with the person you desire do not end your life so you should understand that you are more important to Allah than your wishes. Be stronger sister. You will get a good husband and you should pray for that if you want it to happen. 

At first i used to satisfy myself by thinking wht is meant for me will be mine ..but later i came to know about free will ..so now i am left with only regret..what if i tried ?

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On 9/21/2017 at 10:41 AM, Guest Nuha said:

I had written about my true love. My imaan is going weaker and weaker coz first time i liked someone and asked Allah for it and i am not granted my wish..this was my wish from the core of my heart..i still cry for him day nd night...sometimes  i become angry on Allah nd cant pray properly..now can u people clear two things to me ..(1) is marriage destined or is it that if i had made effort i would have got him     ( 2)3– Imam al-Sadiq (AS), when asked about infatuation, replied, ‘Hearts that are empty of the remembrance of Allah are given to taste by Allah the love of other than Him.’ [Amali al-Saduq, p. 531, no. 3]....can it be the reason i fell in his love...why Allah does so ? When Allah himself puts love of anyone in heart coz heart is empty..then why are we to be blamed..please help me to get out of this depression

Salaam Alaykum

I remember that time you said about that man, you didn't talk with your parents neither him about marriage. Now you are doing same thing. Probably there are some men in your environment, relatives, that are interested in you, but you confine your mind so much in a way that you only think about the first man. The result is ignorance to new potential opportunities and depression. When you have NO other option, you think about the only option that you had. This is ONLY your thought. Look at your environment see them. See other men who are interested in marriage with you. You THINK too much about that and made it a BIG deal for yourself. In this case the only person who can help you is yourself coz we don't have control over your thoughts.

Probably Allah has sent you other men with SAME qualities, but you ignored them because you were thinking too much about that man. It means that you don't appreciate Allah. If I send gifts to a person several times and he/she always refuses to accept/ignores my gifts, it makes me sad. It means that he/she doesn't love me and doesn't appreciate me. Appreciate Allah by looking at your NEW opportunities that he sends to you.

See new opportunities and don't do same mistake

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Guest Nuha
15 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Tell me what made you fall in love with this guy?Looks habits? He smelled good? :D 

In your story the girl didnt ask for anythinh wrong..if her wish was not good for her ,Allah could hav made it good for her..Allah could hav saved her husband from falling....now if asking Allah for my love is not good for me Allah can make it good for both of us..

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Guest Nuha
16 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Tell me what made you fall in love with this guy?Looks habits? He smelled good? :D 

Dont know..when i came to know he liked me from that point i began to like him...it was just crush and nothing else..when there was summer break i didnt think about him at all ..but after coming back to college when he stalked me everywhere i developed stronh feelings for him..going college was like going to heaven..when he sat besides me i can not explain how i felt..when he looked into my eyes it was like he was my whole world..i  like each n everything about him...his looks..his voice..his actions just everything...there was not a single day when he was not in my thoughts...i never felt thid for any other boy

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3 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

At first i used to satisfy myself by thinking wht is meant for me will be mine ..but later i came to know about free will ..so now i am left with only regret..what if i tried ?

If you had tried maybe something even worse then this temporary depression could have happened. You never know. 

Do not dwell in temporary losses sister. You're going to (maybe) face more of these in the future, that's the lesson in it.

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27 minutes ago, Guest Nuha said:

 ..but after coming back to college when he stalked me everywhere 

Sounds like severe infatuation.

But him stalking you is very concerning. Stalkers tend to be psychopaths. It's best you stay far away from such types. 

Just keep your mind busy with other things so you don't think of him, and thank Allah for not making it easy for you to give yourself to a stalker psychopath. 

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3 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

In your story the girl didnt ask for anythinh wrong..if her wish was not good for her ,Allah could hav made it good for her..Allah could hav saved her husband from falling....now if asking Allah for my love is not good for me Allah can make it good for both of us..

She asked for it. Thats why you should always ask Allah for whats good for you. My uncle told me that if you ask something and Allah give it you offer shukrana prayer, but if he doesn't give it to you offer 2 shukrana prayers, because Allah has chosen something better for you. 

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2 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

Dont know..when i came to know he liked me from that point i began to like him...it was just crush and nothing else..when there was summer break i didnt think about him at all ..but after coming back to college when he stalked me everywhere i developed stronh feelings for him..going college was like going to heaven..when he sat besides me i can not explain how i felt..when he looked into my eyes it was like he was my whole world..i  like each n everything about him...his looks..his voice..his actions just everything...there was not a single day when he was not in my thoughts...i never felt thid for any other boy

Whats his fav cologne? or fav food? tell me about his hobbies. 

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5 hours ago, Guest Nuha said:

At first i used to satisfy myself by thinking wht is meant for me will be mine ..but later i came to know about free will ..so now i am left with only regret..what if i tried ?

Nothing could be achieved by regrets sister. And never were you certain whether it would have been good or bad. So, forget it and move on.

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Guest Nuha
16 hours ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Salaam Alaykum

I remember that time you said about that man, you didn't talk with your parents neither him about marriage. Now you are doing same thing. Probably there are some men in your environment, relatives, that are interested in you, but you confine your mind so much in a way that you only think about the first man. The result is ignorance to new potential opportunities and depression. When you have NO other option, you think about the only option that you had. This is ONLY your thought. Look at your environment see them. See other men who are interested in marriage with you. You THINK too much about that and made it a BIG deal for yourself. In this case the only person who can help you is yourself coz we don't have control over your thoughts.

Probably Allah has sent you other men with SAME qualities, but you ignored them because you were thinking too much about that man. It means that you don't appreciate Allah. If I send gifts to a person several times and he/she always refuses to accept/ignores my gifts, it makes me sad. It means that he/she doesn't love me and doesn't appreciate me. Appreciate Allah by looking at your NEW opportunities that he sends to you.

See new opportunities and don't do same mistake

Thanku for the advice..First i want to heal completely..did i make any mistake ? I waited for him to make the first move..when i came to know he was dating a girl i got very angry so i avoided him.At that time i though when college finishes i will forget him...where was my mistake ??

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Guest Nuha
14 hours ago, Zavon said:

If you had tried maybe something even worse then this temporary depression could have happened. You never know. 

Do not dwell in temporary losses sister. You're going to (maybe) face more of these in the future, that's the lesson in it.

Yes maybe ..my brain knows but my heart doesnt accept anything

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Guest Nuha
13 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

Whats his fav cologne? or fav food? tell me about his hobbies. 

He only  talked to me  once or twice formally..i could never start the talk..i always felt very nervous infront of him...so i know nothing about him

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Enough!! He was nothing special,just an ordinary boy who tagged you along while he dated and later married another girl. He didn't treat you with respect but you are too blinded by the thing you call love to realise this. Any self respecting girl with some sense of self worth wouldn't waste even a minute over such a loser,yet you spend day after day thinking about him, complaining to Allah, drowning in regret over not making enough efforts to win him over. If he had wanted you he would have come for you,simple as that. It was not your job to keep him interested.

You are better than that, you deserve someone who will make you happier not leave you more miserable, someone who will bring you closer to Allah not leave wondering about His mercy, someone who treats you with respect. Realize your self worth,act with dignity and make the decision to STOP thinking about him RIGHT NOW.

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On 09/21/2017 at 9:34 PM, Guest Nuha said:

Thanks really very helpful story...but dont understand then why i fell for him so deeply .why Allah did not save me from the first..and why am i nt able to forget him

You cannot forget him because as you said, you follow him on instagram and watch his pictures day and night!

But why? You could have forgotton him if you had not followed him.

As starlight said, you need some self-steem. You said that you were a modest girl. Do you think that you deserve such an unhappy fate?

What did this "feeling of love" gave you during these years? Nothing except grief and depression. And what did it take from you? Many things including your happiness, your time, your opportunities, your pride, ... And what will happen if you continue it??

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I think he was just following a dating trend called ghosting. If he was really interested in you, he would have tried to contact you. Read about what ghosting is and compare your situation. Many people have suggested marriage for you, but I think you will be miserable in your marriage. Men only like women they have to constantly chase. If a man sees that you are desperate or needy, he loses respect and interest. I read somewhere that promiscuous women may give their bodies to people but they never give their emotions to anyone. There's mystery around these women, no one ever knows who is most important for them and men go crazy after such women. If you have a real relationship with actual interactions, you will see how a man will exploit your feelings and how he will walk all over you. Then you will forget about love and infatuation. Believe me: you have not missed an opportunity. There's nothing you could have done. Try to get mental strength, life is really hard. You will face much bigger and harder tests. 

Giving your love to someone like this is a weakness and is considered a bad quality in today's world. You cannot love your own family members like this, you will get stabbed in the back. 

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Guest Nuha

Thanku everyone here for trying to help me.. but it is like i accept everything for a day then other day i am same mad girl..my heart pains...i am seeing no light..i have lost interest in everything..i have no goal ...it is like my world has ended..i dont know how am i going to live..

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Guest :Monad

Considering you admitted, that you only learned about Freewill the other day, meaning, you never had or were taught about true religion or life it self. You went to the mosque, the pulpit basher, just told everyone how great God is, if you pray and do good, all your dreams will come true. Sounds like a fairy tale right?. Because it is.

There are rules of engagement in life, I cannot teach physics if I have no knowledge of it neither do all the rules of engagement work for everyone else. As I had written twice before, THERE WAS NOTHING BETWEEN YOU TWO, you two did not even hold hands. GROW UP, there are guys who look exactly like him or better in the world. Time is short, stop wasting time on useless emotions. The reason why you are upset is, your whole life up to that point , you had suppressed emotions due to poor cultural upbringing and when someone gave you attention, everything erupted where it gave meaning to life. Lesson learned, the solution and reason has been given, there are no irrational excuses. time to heal and fix up. You can hate me and curse me, it actually gives me powers.

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On 9/22/2017 at 11:53 PM, Guest Nuha said:

He only  talked to me  once or twice formally..i could never start the talk..i always felt very nervous infront of him...so i know nothing about him

So how do you fall in love with a person you don't know? :confused:

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Guest Nuha
4 hours ago, Ron_Burgundy said:

So how do you fall in love with a person you don't know? :confused:

I think u don't know what love is. U can love a person without knowing the reason

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Guest Nuha


I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Whole day i keep on thinking of those lovely moments .It is like i have fallen from cloud 9 and crashed on ground. My life has become empty. I don't feel like doing anything. Going out hurts me more .Seeing people around make me miss him. As it is some punishment from Allah. Listening to songs or even nohas make me cry. I don't even go to muharram majalis ,as i begin to miss him besides.whole day i keep on pondering about what happened.In morning i blame him for everthing.I tell myself if he loved me he could not have thought about any other girl.He could not have moved on so easily. By evening i am filled with all the lovely moments and i feel guilty .i put all blame on myself . I begin to think maybe he was afraid to ask me . Then next morning same things repeat .i begin to think he somewhat knew i liked him .it is the boy who should do the first move. I could never stop loving him even after i came to know abouy his relation..it was just the anger and loss of faith at first and later the self respect so i kept away.. These things are going in my head and have no end. If only i know what was in his heart. Was he faking around. I am not able to find any answer . Each and everything make me miss him whether it is going out , getting ready , the sunset, the rain , marriages, each nd everything. I have become dysfunctional.i have lost interest in everything. Now an then only tears come out of eyes. Right now when i am writting tears are rolling.What should i do. Any forceful dua or namaz or ziarat  to solve my problem. Please help Allah will help u
  
 

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