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I am really impressed with the way the O.P articulated himself despite the insults and abuse coming his way. 

However, what I would say to you brother is exposing another believer's shortcomings is gheeba, so I would suggest you change the way you speak about your wife. Focus on the reasons to why you want to do mut'ah without mentioning the shortcomings of your wife.

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Someone who exposes his wife's shortcomings like the way the OP has doesn't respect or love his wife at all. 

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48 minutes ago, E.L King said:

I am really impressed with the way the O.P articulated himself despite the insults and abuse coming his way. 

However, what I would say to you brother is exposing another believer's shortcomings is gheeba, so I would suggest you change the way you speak about your wife. Focus on the reasons to why you want to do mut'ah without mentioning the shortcomings of your wife.

@E.L King What abuse coming the OP's way? I don't see it, I think the OP should focus less on mutah and more on the family as his first priority. He can keep working out to lower his urges. I am surprised that you didn't say anything about the women flirting with him, had it been me, I would have been told to go to a different gym.

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar

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1 hour ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

@E.L King What abuse coming the OP's way? I don't see it, I think the OP should focus less on mutah and more on the family as his first priority. He can keep working out to lower his urges. I am surprised that you didn't say anything about the women flirting with him, had it been me, I would have been told to go to a different gym.

Don't you notice that he is so proud of being center of attraction for women?? 

I agree with the family ,priority thing.. 

Edited by Fakeha

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2 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

@E.L King What abuse coming the OP's way? I don't see it, I think the OP should focus less on mutah and more on the family as his first priority. He can keep working out to lower his urges. I am surprised that you didn't say anything about the women flirting with him, had it been me, I would have been told to go to a different gym.

He probably didn't mention about other women flirting with him because I think EL blames the OP's wife for being out of shape and "unattractive".

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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4 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

@E.L King What abuse coming the OP's way? I don't see it, I think the OP should focus less on mutah and more on the family as his first priority (1). He can keep working out to lower his urges (2). I am surprised that you didn't say anything about the women flirting with him, had it been me, I would have been told to go to a different gym (3).

1. What does this even mean? Is there some contradiction between doing mut'ah and providing for/taking care of you're family? It's nonsense.

2. That will increase the urges but that's besides the point.. Why do you and other posters speak as if sexual urges are some sort of poison that the devil places in man's psyche? God put the love of women in men, it's not hard to understand.

3. Nah now it's just obvious your looking for reasons to rinse the yute. Women exist outside of the gym my G.

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1 hour ago, IbnMariam said:

2. That will increase the urges but that's besides the point.. Why do you and other posters speak as if sexual urges are some sort of poison that the devil places in man's psyche? God put the love of women in men, it's not hard to understand.

The problem is that he's ungrateful of his wife that Allah has blessed him with. Instead of chasing other woman, he should be thankful of what has been given to him. 

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7 hours ago, molaayi_from_lahore said:

There are some things in home which can only be taken care of by my wife and we (our family generally) do not like maids to do those stuff for us e.g. cooking meals and doing some personal stuff with children etc...

Is it harram for the male to cook food? You're clearly an ungrateful person. Your wife is busy making you delicious food, while you just keep doing ab crunches. Now you're proud of your six packs and feel that your wife is not up to your standards. 

Now you complain about her not having time to go to the gym because she is busy doing house chores. We're living in the 21st century man, you can also help you wife a bit. Don't you want to follow the example of Imam Ali (as) who would help his wife with the house chores?

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7 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

@E.L King What abuse coming the OP's way? I don't see it, I think the OP should focus less on mutah and more on the family as his first priority. He can keep working out to lower his urges. I am surprised that you didn't say anything about the women flirting with him, had it been me, I would have been told to go to a different gym.

Yes, because you don't see calling someone a jerk as insult and abuse? Maybe you haven't been reading the threads properly.

As for flirting with females, that is wrong and haram. Thanks for reminding me, yes the O.P should abstain from that.

I haven't commented on whether he should do mut'ah or not.

4 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

He probably didn't mention about other women flirting with him because I think EL blames the OP's wife for being out of shape and "unattractive".

You thought wrong

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1 hour ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Is it harram for the male to cook food? You're clearly an ungrateful person. 

Lol. My father is a great cook himself. 'Maybe' OP isn't used to cooking, doing laundry, ironing, cleaning and wiping floor, etc. @OP live "down to earth" bro! 

Edited by Zavon

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[MOD NOTE] If you don't have anything useful to add to the discussion,then stop with the insulting comments.  He asked something, you have made your opinion known. You might not agree with him but that's no excuse to start insulting the OP. 

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@molaayi_from_lahore

You asked me somewhere how to do Muta? Can't teach you that! But I can teach you this that learning the fiqh rules about Mutah and Nikah Daem are extremely important, because without these you would surely fall in Zana. Same are learning the rules of fiqh of doing business because without this you would surely fall in usury (from hadith of 1st Imam).

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@molaayi_from_lahore

To answer one of your questions here, most women (sister @starlight is an exception, you won't find many wise women like her among Shia unfortunately) are either DUMB or SELFISH when it comes to holding on to their husbands.

Take a poll from all SC members, you won't be able to find one married woman who offered her husband to marry her unmarried cousin / friend / bff / relative for the sake of her well-being, or for the sake of her Imam or her Creator Allah swt. Shia married women instead would see their loved ones among women slip into destitute, psychological issues, health issues, abuse, orphans going rouge, homes destroyed, she being the victim of bad people, but would not encourage their husbands to man up and take a second wife.

This to tell you, there is a time and place to get advice from women, this is not the topic. Simply put, Shia women become the mothers and daughters of Yazeed when it comes to helping other Shia women. 

Edited by Irfani313

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@molaayi_from_lahore

Second thing, fear Allah swt, do not expose your aura' (arabic one) in front of us or others. Some people commented on Lahore connection, unfortunately (in my observation, others are free to differ), Punjabi culture, as beautiful and charming it is, lacks seriously on the front of "respecting women". I have yet to see a Punjabi truly respectful of women, MC, BC, you know what I mean, cursing is so common that even a father would use it for his son if he is slightly mad at him. This is my observation after spending a decade of my life in beautiful Punjab, and after losing so many good friends just because they could not control their cultural lingo baggage.

Would love to hear Br. @Darth Vader comments on it. May Allah swt save all of us from making false judgements.

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@molaayi_from_lahore

Hope you are not bored from this long lecture.

So while you should repent and feel extremely ashamed of yourself in insulting your wife in front of us, you have every right to marry another muslima, in timed marriage or in nikah daem, however you see fit as long as you can be fair to both. You DO NOT need the permission of your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd wife to take 4th wife, or nth Muta wife or the permission of your Marja' because Allah swt has already given you this right. For you the most paramount thing is to safeguard yourself from Zina; this includes Zina of thoughts, Zina of eyes (porn), Zina of jism (mastur...), Zina of words (flirtation), Zina of ears (punjabi culture mujras), and other forms of Zina.

In your grave and on the day of judgement, it will be you standing without any of us SC members in front of the Lord of the Universes answering following questions regarding your sexual partners.

1. Were they halal?

2. Were you a human with them or an animal with them?

3. Were you moderate about it? Or were you excessive in it?

 

 

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It really makes me upset that some people here judged OP based on his few comments here. Probably he already found out that he should more considerate on his current wife and family. We cannot make such judgements that he doesn't love his wife. We really don't know anything from his family.

To the OP: Whatever is your final decision, try to respect your wife and if you decided to get a second wife, don't forget your first wife. Spend your time half half between your wives. Never forget her. Spend your money %100 fair for both, and always be afraid of Zolm. Mazloum dua is VERY close to be accepted by Allah. Please also remember that all women lose their form after marriage and child birth, so find a bigger reason for getting married.

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@molaayi_from_lahore

Lastly, why don't you marry a widow from Quetta, Karachi, or Parachinar, whose husbands have become the victim of Shia genocide in Pakistan? In all seriousness, why not marry one from each city, start with mutah and then make it permanent nikah?

You asked my method of doing mutah, my experience is that any marriage that doesn't give me spiritual growth, I consider it a waste of my money, time, and emotions. A humble advice, never seek marriage for "only" satisfying your desires, utilize this wonderful and one of the most beautiful and most forgotten sunnah (at least on Ind/Pk/Iran Shias) of our Prophet and Aimah (may peace and blessing of Allah swt on them eternally) as a ladder to get closer to Allah swt and his Chosen Ones. 

Peace -     

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Justice doesn't mean just spending time. His first wife probably doesn't want to spend time with him. His second wife also needs to share all the responsibilities. In our culture, a big responsibility is dealing with in-laws and the endless list of rights all the people have. He admitted in his posts that his wife fulfills a lot of responsibilities. So his other wives also need to deal with the in laws and share all the abuse. They also need to become mothers of his children. It's funny how people are commenting on punjabi culture like all other cultures are perfect.

This is a problem in most eastern cultures. I have also seen people from Karachi, Islamabad. They just use more subtle and psychological methods for abuse. 

Edited by rkazmi33

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4 hours ago, IbnMariam said:

1. What does this even mean? Is there some contradiction between doing mut'ah and providing for/taking care of you're family? It's nonsense.

2. That will increase the urges but that's besides the point.. Why do you and other posters speak as if sexual urges are some sort of poison that the devil places in man's psyche? God put the love of women in men, it's not hard to understand.

1. What I meant was there is a contradiction between the OP's reasons for doing mutah and his responsibility for his family, not necessarily mutah by itself.

2. I know that sexual urges are natural but if left unchecked and unrestrained, it can lead to serious issues. Urges aren't a sin.

21 minutes ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

 

Besides if it really were an issue for the OP, he would gone to his wife anyway regardless of her appearance. From what I have read, sounds like he is looking for an excuse to do mutah, regardless of the implications in the future. 

3. Rinse the yute? What does that mean? Sorry dude, but I don't speak gangsta. I hope it doesn't mean what I think it does, besides it was addressed to E.L. King.

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2 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

Justice doesn't mean just spending time. His first wife probably doesn't want to spend time with him. His second wife also needs to share all the responsibilities. In our culture, a big responsibility is dealing with in-laws and the endless list of rights all the people have. He admitted in his posts that his wife fulfills a lot of responsibilities. So his other wives also need to deal with the in laws and share all the abuse. They also need to become mothers of his children. It's funny how people are commenting on punjabi culture like all other cultures are perfect.

This is a problem in most eastern cultures. I have also seen people from Karachi, Islamabad. They just use more subtle and psychological methods for abuse. 

I will provide a separate home to my 2nd and 3rd wives.

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3 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

@molaayi_from_lahore

Hope you are not bored from this long lecture.

So while you should repent and feel extremely ashamed of yourself in insulting your wife in front of us, you have every right to marry another muslima, in timed marriage or in nikah daem, however you see fit as long as you can be fair to both. You DO NOT need the permission of your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd wife to take 4th wife, or nth Muta wife or the permission of your Marja' because Allah swt has already given you this right. For you the most paramount thing is to safeguard yourself from Zina; this includes Zina of thoughts, Zina of eyes (porn), Zina of jism (mastur...), Zina of words (flirtation), Zina of ears (punjabi culture mujras), and other forms of Zina.

In your grave and on the day of judgement, it will be you standing without any of us SC members in front of the Lord of the Universes answering following questions regarding your sexual partners.

1. Were they halal?

2. Were you a human with them or an animal with them?

3. Were you moderate about it? Or were you excessive in it?

brother, your response really appreciated

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