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ali_fatheroforphans

Masturbation addiction tips

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Salam,

Having visited a talk by Wael Ibrahim(Sunni speaker who focuses a lot on issues related to the youth such as pornography and masturbation) I will share some of his tips:

1)  He emphasized the importance of building healthy habits to make up for the bad habits like porn. People are submerged in this endless addiction cycle of Trigger, Action and Reward. Therefore many young people need to really find something which gives them similar level of satisfaction to that of porn. The fact is that addiction or any bad habit can never be destroyed, however it can be replaced. A healthy habit could be; reading, salah (of course), sports, drawing, blogging or taking class etc

2) Marriage is not the solution. Many young people feel that marrying is the ultimate solution, but this is utterly wrong. Marriage can help prevent someone from watching porn to start with. Wael gave examples of many cases where the husband was caught watching porn and the wife divorced the husband. Therefore a serious porn addict about to get married, is kidding himself if he feels that it will completely solve his addiction. The dopamine will always come back and cause the person to relapse.

3) For many of the cases he dealt with, he emphasized the importance of planning out your day. You need to wake up early and take out a few minutes to plan out your day. This can mean, having an idea of the tasks that need to be done and not lying around starting at the ceiling. Keep a journal or a diary which helps you plan out your day.  

4) It is very hard to solve this addiction on your own. Therefore there is no harm to attend one-on-one coaching sessions, or going for therapy etc. The speaker has dealt with many cases and a lot have had success stories who are no longer addicted. It can be overwhelming to do this all on your own. Alternatively, you may tell anyone you trust.

5) Don't be fooled by false quitting! as it tells you very little, You have to be very strategic and plan out your life to overcome this addiction. You should make reasonable goals which can easily be achieved so you have clear sight. Saying that "No more porn from now" is very ineffective. 

6) Know the physical consequences. You can have erectile dysfunction, which can ruin your whole life. Wael gave some disturbing stories of the cases he dealt with and some now some young guys have erectile dysfunction due to excessive masturbation. You want to have a healthy relationship with your wife? then quit it for good.

Bottom Line: Don't wait for marriage to solve your addiction, as you will end up upsetting your wife. Treat this addiction before you enter marriage.

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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On the last one, why dont we have marriage help centers up in the west? If people can get married before university, even though a lot of corruotion happens even in high school, imagine how many would get married sooner?

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1 hour ago, Mansur Bakhtiari said:

On the last one, why dont we have marriage help centers up in the west? If people can get married before university, even though a lot of corruotion happens even in high school, imagine how many would get married sooner?

I defs agree. Ammar Nakashwani talks about this in detail in his interview(I think yesterday).

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2) Marriage is not the solution. Many young people feel that marrying is the ultimate solution, but this is utterly wrong. Marriage can help prevent someone from watching porn to start with. Wael gave examples of many cases where the husband was caught watching porn and the wife divorced the husband. Therefore a serious porn addict about to get married, is kidding himself if he feels that it will completely solve his addiction. The dopamine will always come back and cause the person to relapse.

I totally disagree with this. If it was without the marriage and the blessing of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى, I would have totally lost in darkness and I believe this happened to many people out there.

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Some more pointers (from me):

  1. Waking up early, and starting your day with the name of Allah (prayer and recitation of the Holy Quran).
     
  2. Making up goals, and never taking a step back from what you're already doing.
     
  3. Saying Bismillah before everything you do (you can even say it at random moments), this will remind you that you're doing everything for Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى.
     
  4. Cutting off everything unnecessary from your life which is not for Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and which does not benefit you in any way. It could be movies, songs and music, or talking to the opposite gender or reading books that do not benefit you in any way!
     
  5. Not skipping any prayer, and getting more involved with religion. And acquiring good hobbies and interests.
     
  6. Talking with more knowledgeable people, and sitting and walking beside them. This will give you the feeling that the way you live is not a healthy and good way (spiritually) compared to the people of your age.
     
  7. Doing extra things for Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and His creation. For example, you could give charity when you see someone poor down the road, or give some food, or give something that you bought for yourself to someone who is in more need of it. This will soften your heart, and work as an ingredient plus a catalyst in finding your true-self. :) 
     
  8. Blocking all the pornographic sites and the sites that you think will lead to them. And giving up on everything you feel like make you drive towards it.

 

 

Sincerely,
Zavon.

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21 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

Salam,

Having visited a talk by Wael Ibrahim(Sunni speaker who focuses a lot on issues related to the youth such as pornography and masturbation) I will share some of his tips:

1)  He emphasized the importance of building healthy habits to make up for the bad habits like porn. People are submerged in this endless addiction cycle of Trigger, Action and Reward. Therefore many young people need to really find something which gives them similar level of satisfaction to that of porn. The fact is that addiction or any bad habit can never be destroyed, however it can be replaced. A healthy habit could be; reading, salah (of course), sports, drawing, blogging or taking class etc

2) Marriage is not the solution. Many young people feel that marrying is the ultimate solution, but this is utterly wrong. Marriage can help prevent someone from watching porn to start with. Wael gave examples of many cases where the husband was caught watching porn and the wife divorced the husband. Therefore a serious porn addict about to get married, is kidding himself if he feels that it will completely solve his addiction. The dopamine will always come back and cause the person to relapse.

3) For many of the cases he dealt with, he emphasized the importance of planning out your day. You need to wake up early and take out a few minutes to plan out your day. This can mean, having an idea of the tasks that need to be done and not lying around starting at the ceiling. Keep a journal or a diary which helps you plan out your day.  

4) It is very hard to solve this addiction on your own. Therefore there is no harm to attend one-on-one coaching sessions, or going for therapy etc. The speaker has dealt with many cases and a lot have had success stories who are no longer addicted. It can be overwhelming to do this all on your own. Alternatively, you may tell anyone you trust.

5) Don't be fooled by false quitting! as it tells you very little, You have to be very strategic and plan out your life to overcome this addiction. You should make reasonable goals which can easily be achieved so you have clear sight. Saying that "No more porn from now" is very ineffective. 

6) Know the physical consequences. You can have erectile dysfunction, which can ruin your whole life. Wael gave some disturbing stories of the cases he dealt with and some now some young guys have erectile dysfunction due to excessive masturbation. You want to have a healthy relationship with your wife? then quit it for good.

Bottom Line: Don't wait for marriage to solve your addiction, as you will end up upsetting your wife. Treat this addiction before you enter marriage.

did you talk to him face to face? is he anti shia?

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20 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I did but only for a little while. I don't think that he is anti shia (well he never mentioned anything which would suggest that he is).

 

How was he? 

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