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Afsaneh14

sister getting married.. in a different way

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On 9/4/2017 at 7:49 AM, Afsaneh14 said:

Brother u have missed the point. We were bought up in a so called "islamic" society, and i can honestly tell you, this did not help whatsoever. We were born and spent alot of our childhood in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan. Bare in mind this is a super conservative place, men and women hardly ever interact. Homosexuality and "bacha baazi" are extremely common in Peshawar and lahore (something ive seen myself). 

Pakistan, in my opinion is no less in terms of such acts than western countries

Being raised in a "christian" country is nothing wrong. Also, its not really correct to call England a christuan country anymore

The main difference is that in places like Pakistan, the general society doesn't support such actions. There is a clear line between right and wrong, halal and haram. 

Pakistan is not as far down the continuum of destruction as are other places. Sins done in private are crimes against the individual and whatever groups they are doing sins with. This corrupts them and those immediately around them. When sins are done in public, they corrupt society as a whole, although the effect of each individual public act may be slight, it is still significant and nudges society as a whole down the continuum where the endpoint is destruction of the society. 

That is why in Islam there is a big difference between a sinner and a fasiq(one who does sins openly without seeking repentence). The sinner has transgressed against his/her own soul, and maybe a few people around them, but this damage is limited and very much fixable should the person decide to repent. Also, all of us (besides our masoom Imam(a.f.s) have done sins so we are all in the same category and we ask Allah(s.w.a) to forgive all of us and give us the tawfiq to stop doing all sins. 

The fasiq is in a different category and is (possibly) actually not even a muslim, although for fiqh reasons we have to say that this person is still a muslim. If you disbelieve in any of the clear tenants of the religion, the clear ones (and the prohibition against homosexuality is as clear as the prohibition against alcohol or pork) and this disbelief leads to action which is in the public sphere, then this person is in a different category and they are deserving of the wrath of Allah(s.w.a) because they have nudged the entire society in a direction toward destruction. So instead of transgressing against themselves or those immediately around them, they have transgressed against the entire society and if they are being used by the Taqhut in order to propogate their anti-Islam agenda (as many of these so called 'gay muslims' are used for this purpose) then they have transgressed against the entire ummah. So this is much more serious and harder to fix. 

Also, there is a difference between those who commit homosexuality in private (they are sinners and have committed a major, not minor sin) and those who do gay marriage, i.e. they are publicly advocating for the taghuti agenda. The first is a sinner, the second is a fasiq and possibly a thalim(oppressor who oppresses others), which is worse than a fasiq. So if your sister is insisting on doing this act publically, I would agree with the others that you should have a very minimal relationship with her without doing qataa' Al Rahim (severing of the ties of the womb). 

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I also have a younger brother who is now Baaligh. I know somewhat how to win on young ones.

First of all I advice you strongly to never ever leave her in her condition. You are a mother to her (May Allah resurrect your parents with Ahlulbayt).

Most of us have a bad  phase in our lives. Its never the end. Always be hopeful. And I know you sister will recover and will become a Momina InshaAllah.

I suggest you to strengthen your bond with her. Show her that you love her. Never try to make her feel that you're annoyed with her. Keep a smile on your face whenever you see her. 

Say good words to her. In this way she'll develop a sense of trust in you and will start believing you.

Don't just get directly into Islam, because Shaytan now has a greater hold of her. Rather take her slowly like a snail.

Make her watch some cartoons (humorous ones) and give her some books to read (life stories).

Spend most of your time with her. And share your problems with her and ask her advice (just to make her feel you consider her and her views important).

Slowly slowly you can ask her to read more sensible books which have some essence of Islam but not too much direct..

Ask her to watch youtube videos of Sisters out there and tell her what makes them so special.

Soon InshaAllah she will realize that she has been tested by God when He took away her parents.

And soon she will InshaAllah realize the motive of her life.

This can take upto some 2-3 years and InshaAllah we all will pray for your sister and Allah never leaves anyone alone. He is watching.

You can also do Tawassul from your father and Shaheed brother because both are Shaheeds and they help.

Do Tawassul from Ahlulbayt , the present Imam. 

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im shocked people are saying pakistan is better country then west please tell me more jokes its hypocrites everywhere in pakistan 7 year girls are getting raped so many people there is homosexual its has nothing to do with living in west that you are homosexual or lesbian pakistan is turning out to be worse then many west countries its shocking what is happening in pakistan people can rape small child even they dont care or is afraid 

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Salam everyone i want to thank you all for your kind messages. It really means alot. With a heavy heart  my sister sadly passed away in february. Thank you all for trying to help, inshallah Allah will have mercey on her. 

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2 hours ago, Afsaneh14 said:

Salam everyone i want to thank you all for your kind messages. It really means alot. With a heavy heart  my sister sadly passed away in february. Thank you all for trying to help, inshallah Allah will have mercey on her. 

So sorry to hear about your loss. Duas for you, your family and sister. 

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2 hours ago, Afsaneh14 said:

Salam everyone i want to thank you all for your kind messages. It really means alot. With a heavy heart  my sister sadly passed away in february. Thank you all for trying to help, inshallah Allah will have mercey on her. 

Salam sister, sorry for your lose, I hope you don't mind me asking but what was the cause of her passing?

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Inna lillah wa inna ilayhi raji'un

To God we belong and to Him we return.

Condolences.

I remember you said you (and she also) had a difficult life with several losses at young age, May Allah reward you for your patience and compensate what you have lost with His blessings and bounties. 

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2 hours ago, SeekingHeaven said:

Salam sister, sorry for your lose, I hope you don't mind me asking but what was the cause of her passing?

Whatever Allah wills is best. She was beyond physical help in drug addiction was in the final stage. But alhamdilillah she tried hard with spirituality. The lord works in mysterious ways

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34 minutes ago, mesbah said:

Inna lillah wa inna ilayhi raji'un

To God we belong and to Him we return.

Condolences.

I remember you said you (and she also) had a difficult life with several losses at young age, May Allah reward you for your patience and compensate what you have lost with His blessings and bounties. 

Thanks for kind words, means a lot. Sometimes death seems easier than living Allah always does what is best, alhamdilillah

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7 hours ago, Afsaneh14 said:

Salam everyone i want to thank you all for your kind messages. It really means alot. With a heavy heart  my sister sadly passed away in february. Thank you all for trying to help, inshallah Allah will have mercey on her. 

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un!

I am sad to hear that, you know sometimes death is a form of mercy. For example if Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى knows the person will do worse staying alive in terms of sins, He might take him/her before their bad deeds start to overweight their good deeds. Likewise some times sickness is form of mercy. For example some people may get very sick before they finally pass away, this can be because Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى wants us to pay for ours sins in this life rather than the next.

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18 hours ago, Afsaneh14 said:

Salam everyone i want to thank you all for your kind messages. It really means alot. With a heavy heart  my sister sadly passed away in february. Thank you all for trying to help, inshallah Allah will have mercey on her. 

خدا خواهرتون رو رحمت کنه و به روحشون آرامش بده و غم و غصه های شما رو هم به شادی تبدیل کنه.

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On 06/04/2018 at 9:32 PM, IbnSina said:

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un!

I am sad to hear that, you know sometimes death is a form of mercy. For example if Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى knows the person will do worse staying alive in terms of sins, He might take him/her before their bad deeds start to overweight their good deeds. Likewise some times sickness is form of mercy. For example some people may get very sick before they finally pass away, this can be because Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى wants us to pay for ours sins in this life rather than the next.

Yes Allah is All merciful. Everything is for the best intention, thank you brother for reminding me of this, it is very comforting

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On 07/04/2018 at 7:50 AM, shadow_of_light said:

خدا خواهرتون رو رحمت کنه و به روحشون آرامش بده و غم و غصه های شما رو هم به شادی تبدیل کنه.

خیلی ممنون عزیزم خداوند تو و خانواده ات را برکت دهد

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On 4/6/2018 at 8:30 AM, Afsaneh14 said:

Salam everyone i want to thank you all for your kind messages. It really means alot. With a heavy heart  my sister sadly passed away in february. Thank you all for trying to help, inshallah Allah will have mercey on her. 

The topic has been locked. RIP. Innaa lillahi Wa Innaa Ilayhi Raaji'oon. Holy Quran 2:156. 

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