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In the Name of God بسم الله
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guest2k16

Proposal

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Sallam.

So if someone gets a proposal, and the parents meet up, they see the girl, and they'd like her for their son, and then they plan a day where he could come so he can see the girl and have a chat with her etc, if the guy comes and sees the girl, talks to her, just so they can both see whether they can understand each-other, and if it's the person they would want to be with or not, obviously the guy is not going to give the answer right away, so how long should the girl wait till she gets the answer? Is there a specific time when the guy's family should give an answer to the girl, like maybe few days or a week, like would it look odd if they gave the answer right away or the next day?

 or if they don't call the next day or give an answer does that means they haven't accepted?

Edited by guest2k16

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I think it differs from culture to culture. In my own community the mother and/or sister would come to my house (i.e the girls house ) with the boy himself and this would be the first meeting where all of them (the boy and his mother and the girl and her mother ) would sit and chat and sometimes the boy and girl would be left alone for a short while to have some privacy. After that, if the boy is interested the response would normally come after 2 days ( maximum 3 days). If he is not interested then his mother would inform the girls mother immediately (the next day after the meeting). 

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53 minutes ago, Pearl178 said:

I think it differs from culture to culture. In my own community the mother and/or sister would come to my house (i.e the girls house ) with the boy himself and this would be the first meeting where all of them (the boy and his mother and the girl and her mother ) would sit and chat and sometimes the boy and girl would be left alone for a short while to have some privacy. After that, if the boy is interested the response would normally come after 2 days ( maximum 3 days). If he is not interested then his mother would inform the girls mother immediately (the next day after the meeting). 

But I thought if the guy was not interested, it would be rude if the mother calls and says that the guy is not interested or it's not going to work out because of this and that reason, like apparently you'll just not hear anything from them anymore. But now the question is, if the girl got no answer after a day or few days, does it mean it's a no, and that she needs to move on or still patiently wait for them to say something?

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13 minutes ago, guest2k16 said:

But I thought if the guy was not interested, it would be rude if the mother calls and says that the guy is not interested or it's not going to work out because of this and that reason, like apparently you'll just not hear anything from them anymore. But now the question is, if the girl got no answer after a day or few days, does it mean it's a no, and that she needs to move on or still patiently wait for them to say something?

I personally find it rude when they don't respond at all. It's always a relief when everyone is just upfront and straight forward. And secondly because it's a small community where everyone knows one another, they are bound to run into one another at a wedding or some occasion (the mothers and /or the girl)  and so it becomes really awkward if the boys' mother doesn't respond at all. Also when they do respond  It gives  closure to the girl and her family. They don't necessarily have to give a reason, it's just a polite phone call with something like "there is no naseeb unfortunately but inshalla I am sure your daughter will find the best husband blah blah..." my mother has had to reject girls on behalf of my brothers and she would feel extremely bad every time she had to do this but she would make sure to call them up personally and apologize and pray for the best for the daughter and she would go out of her way to say hello to both mother and daughter at every wedding and occassion she would see them in. It makes it so much less awkward IMO. 

As for your situation I really don't know since I don't know what it's like in your culture but isn't there anyone that you could ask from you community. And if the boy is from a diffierent background perhaps you can ask someone from his community? 

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