Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Smiles786

Judgmental mother problems

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Salaams all

My mother is very judgemental to everyone including us kids. She taunts people that don't do all their wajibaat or if she thinks they don't. 

I am fasting so I especially cannot lose my temper and this is my mom so no talking back.  I went into the kitchen to prepare something ahead of time for iftar and she accused me of not fasting. 

I have tried to explain that it is Allah swt that judges us not humans. I also tried to explain that her behaviour discourages people and that's a sin. She doesn't seem to care and thinks it is her duty to tell people what's wrong with them.

She also complains that she wants to go to ziyarat again but no labaiyk. I have been more than her to ziyarat and know that sometimes our deeds get in the way. I think this is one of them.

Any advice would be appreciated. She needs to stop. It's not okay to hurt people like this.

Wasalaam 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well you know how we used to complain about haram police? Now there's a wajibat police. These are people who like to go around punishing people for missing their prayers and fasts. My sister sometimes misses her fasts because she has kids and lots of responsibilities and it's hard for her. She gets punished by my spoiled, irresponsible, psycho, hitler type sister who acts like a teenager at the age of 40. Whenever I missed prayers or fasts, I was punished by my ex husband who never prayed or fast. Our religion has become very strange, it doesn't make sense anymore. 

Edited by rkazmi33

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
54 minutes ago, rkazmi33 said:

Well you know how we used to complain about haram police? Now there's a wajibat police. These are people who like to go around punishing people for missing their prayers and fasts. My sister sometimes misses her fasts because she has kids and lots of responsibilities and it's hard for her. She gets punished by my spoiled, irresponsible, psycho, hitler type sister who acts like a teenager at the age of 40. Whenever I missed prayers or fasts, I was punished by my ex husband who never prayed or fast. Our religion has become very strange, it doesn't make sense anymore. 

He did not pray or fast? At all? And yet he used to tell you to and punish you if you did not?.... That is just taking the P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Smiles786 said:

Salaams all

My mother is very judgemental to everyone including us kids. She taunts people that don't do all their wajibaat or if she thinks they don't. 

I am fasting so I especially cannot lose my temper and this is my mom so no talking back.  I went into the kitchen to prepare something ahead of time for iftar and she accused me of not fasting. 

I have tried to explain that it is Allah swt that judges us not humans. I also tried to explain that her behaviour discourages people and that's a sin. She doesn't seem to care and thinks it is her duty to tell people what's wrong with them.

She also complains that she wants to go to ziyarat again but no labaiyk. I have been more than her to ziyarat and know that sometimes our deeds get in the way. I think this is one of them.

Any advice would be appreciated. She needs to stop. It's not okay to hurt people like this.

Wasalaam 

We have to have our best tolerance towards our Mothers. If you have patience with, Allah will reward you for eternity. Look at the bigger picture :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

Well you know how we used to complain about haram police? Now there's a wajibat police. These are people who like to go around punishing people for missing their prayers and fasts. My sister sometimes misses her fasts because she has kids and lots of responsibilities and it's hard for her. She gets punished by my spoiled, irresponsible, psycho, hitler type sister who acts like a teenager at the age of 40. Whenever I missed prayers or fasts, I was punished by my ex husband who never prayed or fast. Our religion has become very strange, it doesn't make sense anymore. 

I don't think it's our religion that doesn't make sense. It's how we have misused it to our own benefit. 

Hijab police, akhlaq police and now wajibaat police.  Sad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, YAli said:

He did not pray or fast? At all? And yet he used to tell you to and punish you if you did not?.... That is just taking the P 

Well he didn't specifically said it's because of prayer or fasting. But he always give the excuse of amar bil maaroof and nahi anil munkir for his behavior. And when I complained to my religious family, they told me it was because I was missing prayers or fasts.

4 hours ago, Smiles786 said:

 

Hijab police, akhlaq police and now wajibaat police.  Sad.

Yes, how could I forget the akhlaq police?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/12/2017 at 7:30 AM, ShiaBrother12 said:

We have to have our best tolerance towards our Mothers. If you have patience with, Allah will reward you for eternity. Look at the bigger picture :)

This is a standard reply that is non-specific and unhelpful. It is meant to sidestep the difficulty of such situations. 

Kindness to parents and the importance of patience are not in dispute and never will be. The original post even included "I am fasting so I especially cannot lose my temper and this is my mom so no talking back."

Kindness to parents does not mean giving up one's dignity or becoming willing to accept constant suspicion. It is a difficult situation to deal with. There is nothing wrong with standing up for oneself (in a reasonable way). Depending on your own personality and how you manage your interpersonal relationships, you may want to be more or less firm about how you stand up for yourself. For example: "I am not going to break fast now, because it is not good to do so without reason. You know what else is not good? Making false accusations against Muslims."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...