Mutah - A Choice

[SeekingEnlightment]

Personally, I find the the concept of mutah very very hard to consume. For one, it is a choice.

Secondly, I cannot even imagine my daughter's virginity being taken by some temporary contract like this. The best thing about Islam for me is how much it protects and values the purity of its women. How much it emphasis for not just men but women too to lower their gazes and keep good intentions about everything. Then there is this Mutah. How.. I mean how is this even acceptable? It sounds so wrong.

Maybe i dont know much about all this but I cant seem to grasp this concept of this being right at all. A temporary marriage? Isnt marriage supposed to last forever between soulmates? A lasting bond? Are you not gonna be with your husband in heaven? Arent couples made in heaven? Women's virginity is such a sacred thing. Her Iman and every single thing. I like how its a choice for the woman too but this type of marriage contract.

Nah uh? Never gonna happen. Also there is that fact that it is not acceptable in every type of Islam. In all honesty it sounds like 'loaning a women' fine yeah i get that that woman will have all the rights of a wife and will be respected and all but still for a time? its like loaning or hiring to be cruder despite the fact that woman gets a choice in it. What bothers me is how its acceptable.

If someone could explain why its significance and its rulings that would be great. Still however no matter what I strongly think that not many will agree to this kind of proposition ever if they are pious. I mean a man taking responsibility for a woman in a marriage.. its such a sacred thing. A bond its everlasting. How would a woman feel if say oh i will be 'not married' when im like 40 or something how does that sound? Sounds weird to me.

Besides that, most of the proofs that I have read from Shias claiming that Mutah is right are unclear and are vastly disagreed upon. Even using common sense being a third party, when I see a religion so conservative and pure like Islam I will never believe that their Lord will allow women to just be married for a term. For their virginity to be taken like this and then after a time that matrimonial  bond with that person vanishes.

[Laayla]

The never ending mut3a threads.  I don't even bother clicking on the main forum, I just did here because it was in the veteran forum.  People ask more about mut3a then any other topic.  I wonder why?

• Sexually deprived
• Young, hormones 
• Old, being denied
• Addicted
• Travelling 
• Bachelor, to score as much as he can before permanent contract
• Can't afford permanent wife, has no other choice but through hallal means
• Bored, wants some excitement 

[The Green Knight]

Meanwhile in Pakistan as their fathers and brothers question mutah, their daughters are partying hard, fornicating for a shopping deal of 500$, drinking alcohol with boys all the while they feel they are studying in a prestigious institution because education should be acquired even if we have to go to China, right? And the boyfriend gets for free. And no I'm not talking about the usual suspects, the professionals. In fact, they KNOW what is happening, and its alright because hey its not misyar or mutah, no, that's for daddy and bro when they go to Dubai or Thailand to practice with professionals. Oh but mutah is definitely evil, how can they allow their sis to do it?! Unthinkable!~

Edited June 12, 2017 by Darth Vader

[baradar_jackson]

Ultimately, we cannot use emotional arguments to disprove the issue of fixed-term marriage.

Would I allow or not allow or would so-and-so allow or not allow? If they are the wali of the girl then that's their prerogative to give permission or not give permission. Simple. That doesn't make it universally haraam.

We need to get over this notion of "this is dirty, so it's haraam." Who says it's dirty? This is something which all Muslims are in agreement that it was halal at some point in time! So this dirty act was allowed? Does something dirty become permissible in God's law? That doesn't make sense.

There is a purpose behind mutah. There are also conditions for mutah which prevent certain undesirable effects, i.e. the permission of the wali is required (just like any marriage).

[The Green Knight]

Let me relate to you a recent real life story.

Nearby there was this girl and, well, there is this boy, who also took advantage of her (and his own) unusual appetites. The parents were fed up with her and eventually wed her off, the girl is quite young. Her in-laws at some point force her into prostitution and sell her away. Somehow this girl managed to contact the boy after a year or so (the guy is father of two) and asked for help. Time to play hero. I am surprised his wife doesn't mind too much. He brings the girl back but her parents are enraged. They don't want her back! They threaten the guy who then deposits her in a nearby town with a elder cousin and they file a lawsuit against the girl's former in-laws. At least now there is no more unconsensual things for her. And thank heavens mutah is outlawed, that evil magian thing. What I think? Umar should have never outlawed mutah. The society should accept it. Pakistani society especially can not sweep it under the rug anymore because if they do the huge mountain of scum under that rug is pretty obvious now. Its so absurd that they turn a blind eye to all the fornication yet they criticize the concept of fixed time marriage? There are individuals like her and the guy who helped her in more places than we think. These are simply the less clever ones who got exposed and couldn't keep their affairs secret.

[Marbles]

2 hours ago, Darth Vader said:

Let me relate to you a recent real life story.

Nearby there was this girl and, well, there is this boy, who also took advantage of her (and his own) unusual appetites. The parents were fed up with her and eventually wed her off, the girl is quite young. Her in-laws at some point force her into prostitution and sell her away. Somehow this girl managed to contact the boy after a year or so (the guy is father of two) and asked for help. Time to play hero. I am surprised his wife doesn't mind too much. He brings the girl back but her parents are enraged. They don't want her back! They threaten the guy who then deposits her in a nearby town with a elder cousin and they file a lawsuit against the girl's former in-laws. At least now there is no more unconsensual things for her. And thank heavens mutah is outlawed, that evil magian thing. What I think? Umar should have never outlawed mutah. The society should accept it. Pakistani society especially can not sweep it under the rug anymore because if they do the huge mountain of scum under that rug is pretty obvious now. Its so absurd that they turn a blind eye to all the fornication yet they criticize the concept of fixed time marriage? There are individuals like her and the guy who helped her in more places than we think. These are simply the less clever ones who got exposed and couldn't keep their affairs secret.

I don't see how having the option of mutah would have helped the girl and the guy in question. Contracting mutah with its conditions is so difficult for young people that it is as good as unavailable. No set of parents would happily let their unmarried daughter enjoy a temporary marriage, not to mention its consequences for the girl's future. The real problem here is patriarchal attitudes and feudal ethics according to which family honour resides in women's private parts and virginity is to be worshiped. It can't be helped, mutah or no mutah, as long as people don't their mindset.

In-laws forced the girl into prostitution - that's simply criminal and obscene. Again, no shar'i law can help them if that's what they wanted to do. In Iran mutah is used as a cover for prostitution. The girls don't observe any rules, the guys don't ask questions, but it's still "officially mutah." Anyone who knows something about Tehran would confirm. We can't blame Umar b. Khattab for what goes on in Iran can we?

Illicit affairs have always existed and will always exist no matter what, and those who want to do it will do it anyway. You would remember stories from old days when chits of paper were rolled around a stone and thrown into the paramour's courtyard requesting a rendezvous in the field behind the college. People found a way to get together then, they find a way to get together now. The only difference is, it has become quite easy to communicate and conduct an affair now.

[The Green Knight]

On 6/12/2017 at 7:41 AM, Marbles said:

I don't see how having the option of mutah would have helped the girl and the guy in question.

My point is that such people would not have to sin if mutah was practical or socially accepted. Nothing God made is in vain, He did so because He knows us. And when He wrote that "I have perfected your religion" after that Umar or anyone had no right to change the religion.

[AbuHope]

I don't understand parents feelings on their children having sex. Why is this subject seen as so offensive. How did they make their children in the first place.

[Marbles]

7 hours ago, P. Ease said:

How did they make their children in the first place.

By marrying the person their parents selected for them.

They want their children to do the same.

[wolverine]

On 6/10/2017 at 8:20 PM, SeekingEnlightment said:

Even using common sense being a third party, when I see a religion so conservative and pure like Islam I will never believe that their Lord will allow women to just be married for a term.

There are some villages in Pakistan and Afghanistan where Shia fathers give their daughters to wed only in mutah (temporary marriage). This stipulation to be married temporarily will prevent a Sunni from marrying his daughter. Later on the father can make the permanent marriage for her and her husband.

[Bakir]

Daughter or not, maybe we can benefit more by approaching the subject from a global universal perspective (instead of a hypothetical personal one). Maybe the question should target the issue if mutah is benefitial to society. Such a question shall also take some distance from the fact it is allowed, as per general shiite understanding, under Islam, in order to have a meaningful debate.

When I personally reflect upon potential meaningful positive human relationships, a pre-defined temporary one doesn't come accross my mind. I don't see any reasonable explanation why a relationship has to be temporary and not permanent/indefinite a priori (even though a posteriori we can have as many reasons as we want). I take for granted that two people involved in a relationship strive to build something meaningful and benefitial to society.

Meanwhile, when it comes to mutah at our time, the sole explanation or goal I find in it is related to our instinctive need to relate with others more closely. I am well aware of the consequences that depriving such needs mean to society, thus I prefer to abstain from sharing my opinion on it. But when it comes to building and bringing somwthing good and meaningful to society, I don't find in mutah marriage such benefit as I find it in permanent marriage. Thus my trust and preference for mutah is nearly unexistant, but I acknowledge it's possible benefit in some cases at our time.

I believe this matter is better evaluted when we describe our opinion on what we really see, because that defines the reality of a law. And I don't see much good in mutah, that's what I honestly believe. Yet my faith in that it is halal leads me to guess that maybe, without it, the consequences would be even worse, so in the end it sounds as if it is the lesser of two evils. And of course I would prefer, going back to the OP's question, that my hipothetical daughter would choose the best of choices.

[baradar_jackson]

On 6/12/2017 at 7:41 AM, Marbles said:

In Iran mutah is used as a cover for prostitution. The girls don't observe any rules, the guys don't ask questions, but it's still "officially mutah." Anyone who knows something about Tehran would confirm.

This is way overblown.

[The Green Knight]

On 6/12/2017 at 7:41 AM, Marbles said:

In Iran mutah is used as a cover for prostitution. The girls don't observe any rules, the guys don't ask questions, but it's still "officially mutah." Anyone who knows something about Tehran would confirm. We can't blame Umar b. Khattab for what goes on in Iran can we?

I think there is need for us all to think over this matter in a scholarly fashion and first define prostitution and why it is unislamic and why the islamically prescribed way is not sinful. I apologize to the ladies and the sensitive persons, its not my place to do this but since the topic has been brought up lets settle the issue once and for all?

Prostitution, as far as i know, involves a person approaching another person, a prostitute, for fulfillment of their sexual desire and the incentive for the prostitute is money. No witnesses under God, unlike nikkah are involved, no sermons and no invocation of God's name or recitation of His prescribed words are said. The thing is consummated and the two part their ways without any further obligations to each other.

Mutah, as far as i know, is a non-permanent agreement between a man and a woman of the right circumstances for both that warrant a mutah contract, money is also involved, for the woman. Witnesses are unnecessary, unlike nikkah, prescribed words and God's name are said and vows taken as the contract is agreed upon mutually. The thing is consummated and when the contract period is over there is still the obligation of any child that is conceived and born who then becomes a legal and legitimate heir and his/her rights are incumbent upon the parents just like a child born from nikkah or permanent marriage.

Nikkah, considered permanent yet also actually possibly a quite non-permanent agreement because of Talaq/divorce and these days the rates are high enough that everyone should understand if its permanent or not or how fairy tale like it is in reality. Money is also involved. In fact, an OUTRAGEOUS amount of money is involved. Not only in the form of Mehr for the woman, there are expensive gifts and extravagant feasts involved, from both sides. Several businesses today rely on the existence of marriage. Marriage halls, marriage bureaus, marriage counseling, A big industry. The Mehr/dowry is often absurdly and unislamically high also, as an insurance policy that the man does not divorce the woman, because either the woman is quite divorcible or the man is a wretch and unreliable. Its supposed to "bind" the two muslims better. Why? The parents do not want to spend a fortune again in event of a divorce after spending a year or two looking for the right spouse for their child. Not to mention a divorced woman and a divorced man who is not rich or beautiful are hard to marry again, such is our muslim society today. Documentaries can be made on the subject of marriage but I digress. So, (A.) a lot of money is involved here as well, (B) a divorce can happen right after nikkah for no reason required. So, we can safely say that nikkah is NOT a permanent marriage as people like to call it.

When a divorce happens, in both Sunni and Shia fiqhs, reconciliation and patching up between the ex husband and wife requires a thing called Hilala. A Hilala is about the same as Mutah. Its temporary, usually, unless the two decide they wish to continue (this happens). The woman is then divorced and married to the ex husband after observing the period of iddah.

Now, I would like to ask @OP how they would feel if their sister or daughter has to undergo a Hilala AND just how different do you imagine it would taste going down as compared to a temporary marriage contract for her?? What if she gets divorced again and again?? Would it be any less stressful than giving you daughter or sister in nikkah to someone while never knowing all the what ifs? But we do it for God's sake and for her happiness right?

My point, dear friends, is that we have made the issue of marriages very complicated and pushed it too far away from islam. Its only natural. Its in our nature. Islam is our rescuer. It aids us. It never told us to spend fortunes on marriage. It discouraged us to involve artificial anchors like absurdly high amounts of dowry. Thing is, that prostitution or any sin is bad only because God has forbidden it. Otherwise, unfathomably more money is involved in a normal marriage and in it the woman also receives dowry preferably on the first night. I invite the OP and others to let go of their unislamic cultural zeal and "honor" they feel for their daughters obviously. Be a human, be muslim. Listen to God only. Let go of your cultural and sectarian norms not in compliance to the system He has made for us all.

Lastly I hope God forgives me for my mistakes. I have only thought out loud. Please correct me if I am wrong.

[Hussain7]

On 12.6.2017 at 2:06 AM, Darth Vader said:

Meanwhile in Pakistan as their fathers and brothers question mutah, their daughters are partying hard, fornicating for a shopping deal of 500$, drinking alcohol with boys all the while they feel they are studying in a prestigious institution because education should be acquired even if we have to go to China, right? And the boyfriend gets for free. And no I'm not talking about the usual suspects, the professionals. In fact, they KNOW what is happening, and its alright because hey its not misyar or mutah, no, that's for daddy and bro when they go to Dubai or Thailand to practice with professionals. Oh but mutah is definitely evil, how can they allow their sis to do it?! Unthinkable!~

Sorry for the push, but I had to say I can understand your frustration that speaks from your post, too many people, mostly females in that case that probably have a low desire themselves, propagate sexual suppression and many others in our religion aswell. Sexual repression is worse than promiscuity even in my opinion, because it creates monsters inside the head in the first place, because it is a natural need, some have more than others. Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) himself married multiple woman, I am sure some people find other explanations than sexual desire for it, because they won't see anything that could shake their strong hostile view to anything that is sexual between man and women other than conventional marriage, which in this day and age is getting more and more difficult for many young people who then have to rely on zina and other bad habbits like porn and masturbation, because the islamic society is often hostile to sexuality in other forms than traditional marriage.

Secrecy, Shame, disgrace, isolation and dishonor are a few of the many negative feelings they tend to associate, daughters, who don't get married because of circumstances and because they are not even tought the option of mut'a they go out and mate with multiple partners, seen all that happening. The forces that try to supress these natural god given desires are a major cause for the disease in our society.

To people who are easily offended by sexual subjects, don't click the following link.
For others, I find this non-islamic, yet rational and realistic article well written http://sexual-sanity.com/2010/11/six-signs-of-sexual-insanity/

[Irfani313]

@Darth Vader and @Hussain7

Wow and wow. MashAllah you both have such a clear understanding of things. I couldn't have articulated it better than Darth. Hussain right on mark, Muta' is mostly an eyesore for two sort of people, one those whose desire of intimacy is low like most women and those who think like them, two those who attach their honor with women's private parts such as Omer.

My take, I've long quit explaining muta' to non-believers (these include non-believing Shia too), I don't make a fuss about it in my family either, I just do what has been the practice of my Prophet S. But I can tell you this, my reward has been, to a lesser part the joy that a human gets after a good relationship with another human, and to an immensely greater part, the spiritual elevation that I earn by practicing a sunnah of our last Prophet S that has been abandoned in favor of pleasing feminists, women, and cultural urban-men.

And for those who are seeking muta' but are unable to find one, remember the hadith that Dua' is the weapon of a momin. I've found doors of muta' always closed on me, and just the dua' and only dua' and a bit of effort has opened those doors for me.

For those married men living in Muslim majority countries, you must not have any excuse for not doing Muta' aqd, if you desire so. Married men living in West are not so lucky, we are bound by the fatwa of seeking only a Muslima for muta'.   

I know some of you were missing my candid notes on SC's Muta' threads.    

[molaayi_from_lahore]

On 8/21/2017 at 11:23 PM, Irfani313 said:

I don't make a fuss about it in my family either, I just do what has been the practice of my Prophet S. But I can tell you this, my reward has been, to a lesser part the joy that a human gets after a good relationship with another human

so you have been doing it, apparently, for some time now..Help me do that as well.