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In the Name of God بسم الله

Marriage Shia/Sunni

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Asalam alikum brothers and sisters, 

I have read a few of Shia/Sunni marriage answers. And I do understand that it's discouraged. However, I feel that it's parents decision on how to raise their children. 

Just for clarification, I will stay Shia if I marry this person.

I like a sunni guy. He is an educated man, have a good job and is financially stable. We have now known eachother for about 3 years. We have always wanted to get married.

About 2 years back my parents found us talking to eachother and they refused to believe that he is an educated man and have a good job. They said he was fooling me (which he was not, even if I am young and naive in my parents eye - I am not a complete idiot). They also said they I don't know what zaat he is from or if he is a "bhangi or taley", he is a Patel. His eldest sister is married to a Bangali man and his older brother is married to a Pakistani girl. My parents also said that they (His family) is too multicultural for them to be comfortable with it. My parents also hide behind the curtain of being Shia and Syed. I understand that Syeds are cconsidered descendents from Prophet Muhamma (PBUH) ahlulbayt. I know that it's a great honor however, we have to be proper Muslims and a true Shia for us to take that title. In my opinion, the title doesn't give us any superiority to other Muslims. (If we have such frim believe in zaat system then isn't it copying from Hindu culture). We both wantes our parents blessings in the marriage and keep the family together.

And as he is a sunni, he has to face same problems from his parents, although his as well as my siblings are more accepting to the fact. The main concern is with parents acceptance and blessings. We haven't tried approaching our parents again. His mother have already engaged him to another girl and he has said yes because our parents wouldn't agree.

I made istikhara form istikhara e Sajjadia book. 
"جس کام کوتبرا دل چاہتا ہےاس میں سعی کر. کیونکہ زہد میں راحت ہے اور قناعت میں عزت."

(I am sorry, I can not attach the picture files) 

I made istikhara twice and it wasn't the same but similar to it. Now don't know how to interpret it. My istikhara niyat was "if marriage  between me and him would be  a good for us - for  a our faith, livelihood, and our akhirat. Also if our parents raza and blessings will be in our marriage. I am not sure if I made the istikhara right. Right now I am just scared to approach him and my parents

Please don't judge me based on just this part of the story. I do not need anyone to tell me I will go to hell or how I am not a Muslim anymore.

I apologized for this long message. And thank you for taking the time to read it. 

Wassalam, 
Silah

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5 hours ago, starlight said:

How do you intend to proceed with this now that he is already engaged to another girl? 

He didn't say yes but his parents did the talking and said yes on his behalf. We both wanted to atleast try and ask our parents but after the engagement I don't know how to proceed. 

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1 hour ago, Silah said:

He didn't say yes but his parents did the talking and said yes on his behalf. We both wanted to atleast try and ask our parents but after the engagement I don't know how to proceed. 

My point was either way he is engaged now. If he didn't take a stand for you when his parents said yes on his behalf then he is definitely not going to break off the engagement now. He has moved on so should you.  

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Walaikum Salam
you parents may doubt about your faith after marriage maybe that is the reason they are resisting you
dont take them wrong

and as you said : you will stay shia after marriage
nice thing may Allah bless more strong faith to you
but dear sister be practical dont run from some facts...no matter if they are educated or rich You still can face difficulties about religious practice ..you have lived a small portion of life with shia and have to life major part with other party. you may not be able to control your children
there may lot other problem as well ..they may resist you or not but the way of living of their house & responsibilities may resist you 
you may not practice many things shia do ..or may not give practice them properly
I have seen examples 

the guy you love has agreed to marry another girl on his parent's choice, why not you ??

dont get me wrong please 

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On 6/5/2017 at 7:13 AM, AaqibHussain said:

Walaikum Salam
you parents may doubt about your faith after marriage maybe that is the reason they are resisting you
dont take them wrong

and as you said : you will stay shia after marriage
nice thing may Allah bless more strong faith to you
but dear sister be practical dont run from some facts...no matter if they are educated or rich You still can face difficulties about religious practice ..you have lived a small portion of life with shia and have to life major part with other party. you may not be able to control your children
there may lot other problem as well ..they may resist you or not but the way of living of their house & responsibilities may resist you 
you may not practice many things shia do ..or may not give practice them properly
I have seen examples 

the guy you love has agreed to marry another girl on his parent's choice, why not you ??

dont get me wrong please

You are right living within a sunni practicing family will have a number  of changes  that I don't know about and I am not looking at the bigger picture. 

Please don't think of him as a bad person, he agreed to be engaged to the girl of his parents choice. Introducing me to his parents at that time would have only caused chaos for both our families. So, I guess it's better this way...

I have been praying to Allah to give me strength and help me. At times it's harder to not think about him but I am trying my best. 

Thank you for taking the time to answer. 

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