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In the Name of God بسم الله

Love and mental health

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Guest thisismyname

As someone who's had mental health issues for a large part of my life, I worry that they will be too much for someone to want to spend their life with me. I've been diagnosed with various mental health illnesses years ago, which I get treatment for.  I worry that no one will love me because of this. What if I meet a great person who'd like to marry me? I would be terrified he'll leave once I tell him about these problems. I won't blame anyone for doing so because I know it is difficult to deal with even on my own, I don't expect anyone else to want to do so. What if he marries me and it becomes too much for him? I don't want to hinder anyone from happiness or fulfillment because of my issues. I worry no one will/can love me because of them. I worry I will cause someone else too much problems because of them. I try to be a practicing Muslim but my mental health issues often cause me to falter (not pray, not recite Quran). I try to be a good person but I am worried the illnesses will make anyone not want to marry me. 

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:sign_welcome:

2 hours ago, Guest thisismyname said:

I've been diagnosed with various mental health illnesses years ago, which I get treatment for.  I worry that no one will love me because of this

I am sorry to hear about this, I know it can be very tough to experience mental health problems.

I have seen many people in relationships where one of the partners would be suffering from severe mental health issues to the point where they have even been sectioned and their spouse is extremely supportive and loving. Of course, you will find people that also have relationship difficulties because of those reasons but the fact that some people can make it work means it can happen.

Inshallah you already have people in your life that you love you for who you are, and there's nothing to say you won't find a marital partner that won't do the same.

2 hours ago, Guest thisismyname said:

 I worry that no one will love me because of this. What if I meet a great person who'd like to marry me? I would be terrified he'll leave once I tell him about these problems

It's very important to be absolutely honest about this from the very beginning and if he is a decent and understanding guy then he will support and stick by you. If not, then he to be honest you're better off without. 

2 hours ago, Guest thisismyname said:

What if he marries me and it becomes too much for him? I don't want to hinder anyone from happiness or fulfillment because of my issues. I worry no one will/can love me because of them. I worry I will cause someone else too much problems because of them.

That is why we are honest from the beginning, but no one knows what the future holds for any one of us, however I appreciate that this is part of your illness.

Have you had therapy? I know you are taking medication but having therapy may benefit you, I would strongly recommend it.

2 hours ago, Guest thisismyname said:

I try to be a practicing Muslim but my mental health issues often cause me to falter (not pray, not recite Quran). I try to be a good person but I am worried the illnesses will make anyone not want to marry me. 

Do what you can, Allah swt knows what is in our hearts. Say Alhumdulilah and thank Allah for what you are doing and ask for strength for what you can't do or find difficult.

We pray for your health and that you find an amazing spouse soon who will accept, love, understand you and someone that will help you get closer to Allah swt. :)

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You should not worry about it too much. Too many people are going through abuse and because of that they are developing mental illnesses. Then there are autism and all kinds of learning disabilities. At least you know your problem and you are willing to work on yourself. There are so many narcissistic people who ruin lives but they never even realize that there is any problem with their behavior. 

I want to tell you to be careful. Many educated and religious people have developed very ignorant thinking towards mental illnesses and disabilities. Many people think that disable people or people with any kind of weakness are a burden for society. You should be honest about your disorder but don't let anyone make this your weakness. Don't let anyone use you or manipulate you. You don't have to prove your worth. Everyone has problems and many people have moral diseases. You should hope that you only meet honest people who will leave you if they don't want to deal with your illness. I hope you don't meet anyone who pretends to be sweet and ends up abusing/manipulating you because of your illness. 

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Sorry to hear about this ! I also have mental illnesses depersonalization  , ocd , emotional numbing  and my mental illnesses  took me away from islam. I was religious before, but it took my imaan with it. At one point islam made zero sense to me, I left it.  

but but buttttt I have an amazing man in my life who knows about my illness who knows about my state of imaan still he supports me guides me in Every matter , he is so caring so my point is when some one truly loves you he / she doesn't care about your height looks color or health so just don't worry !! 

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