Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

What to do if partner never admits when wrong?

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

  • Advanced Member

Salam, I need help restoring my marriage.. what do you do if your in a marriage where your partner never likes to admit they are wrong ? What do you do if communication does not work with them because they are very hard headed and you can't speak to them. 

 

Please help and thank in advance

Salam 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
6 hours ago, shia askari said:

Salam, I need help restoring my marriage.. what do you do if your in a marriage where your partner never likes to admit they are wrong ? What do you do if communication does not work with them because they are very hard headed and you can't speak to them. 

 

Please help and thank in advance

Salam 

Do you have children? How many and what ages?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Hello everyone's we just talked and I kind of told her that it's better off we divorce.. that it's for the better.. I do remember the good times but it is what it is I'm still young and I'm going to be going threw the recovering stages now..

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

Did you think it through? Divorce? Think about it. You will have to marry again and there are no women with whom communications work perfectly or who like to admit their own faults. Same with men in fact. So think about it. As they say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. In all relationships you have to compromise and sacrifice to make it work, be it marriage or friendship or parents or siblings.  The more you get closer the more you need to sacrifice, that's how it works.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
4 hours ago, Darth Vader said:

Did you think it through? Divorce? Think about it. You will have to marry again and there are no women with whom communications work perfectly or who like to admit their own faults. Same with men in fact. So think about it. As they say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. In all relationships you have to compromise and sacrifice to make it work, be it marriage or friendship or parents or siblings.  The more you get closer the more you need to sacrifice, that's how it works.

Yes I been thinking it through for 2 weeks you can see in my other post called new stresses, I tried my heart out for the past 2 weeks but I'm done trying with my heart and starting to think with my brain.

I want someone who will actually care for me and love me and one who's on the same page .. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
14 minutes ago, shia askari said:

I want someone who will actually care for me and love me and one who's on the same page .. 

Best of luck with that bro. Please also let us know when you find someone.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
16 hours ago, shia askari said:

Salam, I need help restoring my marriage.. what do you do if your in a marriage where your partner never likes to admit they are wrong ? What do you do if communication does not work with them because they are very hard headed and you can't speak to them. 

 

Please help and thank in advance

Salam 

salaam,

Communication is not always verbal. Sometimes you have to show it in other ways.

Divorce is easy. Staying together is hard and if you take the easy way out now, what is to say you will not do the same tomorrow.

Despite everything she did, the Prophet (saw) did not divorce Hz Aisha. So unless you are married to someone whom you consider worse than Aisha...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
28 minutes ago, shiaman14 said:

salaam,

Communication is not always verbal. Sometimes you have to show it in other ways.

Divorce is easy. Staying together is hard and if you take the easy way out now, what is to say you will not do the same tomorrow.

Despite everything she did, the Prophet (saw) did not divorce Hz Aisha. So unless you are married to someone whom you consider worse than Aisha...

Yes she has done things worse to me worse then aisha did to the prophet which I don't wanna speak on. I tried my hardest to make the marriage work. But its only one way and that's all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member
1 hour ago, shia askari said:

Yes she has done things worse to me worse then aisha did to the prophet which I don't wanna speak on. I tried my hardest to make the marriage work. But its only one way and that's all.

good luck brother.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
2 hours ago, shia askari said:

I tried my hardest to make the marriage work. But its only one way and that's all.

Two weeks is not much at all, but if she has definitely refused to have any sort of communication with you, I guess the best you both can do is learn from it and move on. 

But still, two weeks seems like not much. 

In my situation, I did end up asking for divorce, but it was after some years of complete abandonment. My children and I were actually on the verge of homelessness and my  (now ex-) husband was living it up in another state, pursuing superfluous academic degrees and plastic surgery to make himself pretty while claiming he couldn't afford to contribute to our cost of food, housing, or medical care.

Edited by notme
Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with @notme. Two weeks is nothing.

unless she cheated on you, was abusive, or anything like that, there isn't really a good reason to get divorced. I understand you don't want to reveal some things online, but think about it.

You want to be with someone who is on the same page as you. That's great, but if I recall in your other thread, you were with her for three years before marrying. Surely you knew how she was and how you two got along. Not being on the same just doesn't happen in a short period of time. 

And you're not seeing your own behavior. You are prone to wanting to control how she spends her finances. That's wrong. That is controlling.

Then you wonder why she's hardheaded? It sounds like you just a yes-woman. You can't expect anyone do to things you want. Yes, there needs to be compromise, but you are complaining about petty things like why you have to wash dishes, for God's sake. Islamically, it's not her job to do the housework. Why can't you work together instead of complaining?

why do you want someone who just listens to you all the time and someone you can control? You need to work on yourself. Control stems from anxiety and bad upbringings. Instead of blaming her, see your part. Try counseling. Yes, you may get divorced, and you may find someone easier, but the same problems will persist, and the wife, with your behavior, may be prone to developing depresssion and low self esteem because of your need for control.

think about that. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
2 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I agree with @notme. Two weeks is nothing.

unless she cheated on you, was abusive, or anything like that, there isn't really a good reason to get divorced. I understand you don't want to reveal some things online, but think about it.

You want to be with someone who is on the same page as you. That's great, but if I recall in your other thread, you were with her for three years before marrying. Surely you knew how she was and how you two got along. Not being on the same just doesn't happen in a short period of time. 

And you're not seeing your own behavior. You are prone to wanting to control how she spends her finances. That's wrong. That is controlling.

Then you wonder why she's hardheaded? It sounds like you just a yes-woman. You can't expect anyone do to things you want. Yes, there needs to be compromise, but you are complaining about petty things like why you have to wash dishes, for God's sake. Islamically, it's not her job to do the housework. Why can't you work together instead of complaining?

why do you want someone who just listens to you all the time and someone you can control? You need to work on yourself. Control stems from anxiety and bad upbringings. Instead of blaming her, see your part. Try counseling. Yes, you may get divorced, and you may find someone easier, but the same problems will persist, and the wife, with your behavior, may be prone to developing depresssion and low self esteem because of your need for control.

think about that. 

Did you not read that I tried ... I have been the one doing the dishes I have been the one getting the food. She does not want to spend no time together nor wanted to communicate with me.. she wanted to walk all over me for me to let her do whatever she wants whenever she wants how can you expect me to be at ease if my wife is out until the early morning instead of being at home with her husband?. 

 

I sound controlling because we need the money and we're struggling to get by but spending on excitement and things that she should never spend things on? 

You honestly don't know how the persons life is until you've actually been in their shoes. I'm not saying everything her fault I'm saying she didn't wanna fix our problems with me. She wanted it to be her way or nothing and I tried 1 million times to talk but there was nothing it was only me trying..

I can't keep trying alone I needed her to at least try but there's nothing you can do when the person doesn't care and makes u feel like crap.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/1/2017 at 4:16 PM, shia askari said:

Salam, I need help restoring my marriage.. what do you do if your in a marriage where your partner never likes to admit they are wrong ? What do you do if communication does not work with them because they are very hard headed and you can't speak to them. 

 

Please help and thank in advance

Salam 

This can go both ways, maybe you should check to make sure your admitting your mistakes. I understand it could be her but sometimes we act this way without realizing it as well. Woman also need to admit their mistakes also though just be to be fair.

Edited by Yama Nemati
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
1 hour ago, Yama Nemati said:

This can go both ways, maybe you should check to make sure your admitting your mistakes. I understand it could be her but sometimes we act this way without realizing it as well. Woman also need to admit their mistakes also though just be to be fair.

I always admit to my mistake and apologize bring roses get her a gift say sorry and be as nice as I can i never received a sincere apology similar to that.

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, shia askari said:

I always admit to my mistake and apologize bring roses get her a gift say sorry and be as nice as I can i never received a sincere apology similar to that.

mashallah well hopefully she can appreciate you and things work out inshallah, maybe your wife hasn't seen how bad some other guys can be.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 5/1/2017 at 4:16 PM, shia askari said:

Salam, I need help restoring my marriage.. what do you do if your in a marriage where your partner never likes to admit they are wrong ? What do you do if communication does not work with them because they are very hard headed and you can't speak to them. 

 

Please help and thank in advance

Salam 

Salaam.

1) One cannot deal with a spouse who puts forth zero effort in making their spouse happy. It appears you learned this the hard way. It appears you were blinded and ignored the faults. A lot of men -toooooo many - are willing to put up with a lot and jump through many hoops just to have the pleasures of the bedroom.

2) There's a book called "proper care and feeding of husbands." You need to buy this copy and get a firm commitment from your next female to actually implement what the book teaches. And pay close attention to any warning signs. They will grow and multiply exponentially like bacteria with unlimited food supply.

I looked at the Amazon reviews for this book, and one woman said something like her husband bought her the book in an effort to save the marriage, she threw it in the garbage, did not read it, and got a divorce.

3) Chime in on my thread "concept of MGTOW." I think you would cheer hard for that video linked.

I personally don't know what to do. We are supposed to get married, but if all females seem so whack, what are we gonna do?

4) You should get to know Sandman:

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...