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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Jafar moh

Need some advice on a personal issue..

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bismillah

This is long but not extremely long so it would be so very helpful if I could have advice on a very serious issue I am in.

Salam brothers/sisters, I am in a bit of a situation and I would like to see what anyone else thinks about it.

Coming this september, I will be ready to wait for my acceptance or rejection to the faculty of engineering. My grades are okay, however my current 3 courses will be very vital into getting accepted ( as they are prerequisites, they are mandatory to have and are part of your AGPA count that calculates your grade to see if you make the cut-off or not). This is my problem:

I don`t feel think it is a good idea getting into engineering this fall. That is, I absolutely want to get into engineering, however I do not think it is a safe idea to get in so quickly and I wish I felt this sooner before applying. My plan is to take the fall semester off (the semester I was supposed to get in) and rather work to help my parents in paying for my own tuition, so that in the upcoming winter semester (same time now but next year) I can take an extra course I need and re-apply with even better chances of getting into the engineering faculty. Another reason is that I am just absolutely tired of university... I have to re-pay alot of my tuition that I haven`t even paid for even if my parents insist I don`t have to owe them back, and to be fully honest I really think a semester break would be extremely beneficial for me health/emotionally wise. 

Do you think it is a good idea to scurry me into an extremely tough faculty with half the determination that I'm supposed to have? The entire reason I am not going through with this is because of my mother; she absolutely, positively insists that I keep these 3 courses and get into the faculty so that I can hastily finish off my degree. I do not want to go against her word and what I am asking for is advice to help convey to her why that is not a good idea for me, and how taking a break would be extremely helpful not only for myself but for my entire family.

Quick overview of pros and cons of taking a semester break and not getting into the faculty:

PROS:

1.) I can return back and meditate on my religion, my health, and my overall well-being that has been completely destroyed this past year of university.

2.) I could help my father who works very hard, and repay him for everything he has given me

3.) An extra year to take courses before re-applying means I can repeat/take extra prerequisite courses in order to increase my GPA and give me better chances of meeting the cut-off for my faculty program.( I will have 8 by the end of this winter semester which is in April, and there are 12 prerequisite courses, however they only choose 8 of the 12 courses you took in accordance to your GPA cut-off and that is all that counts for your first year entry into the faculty.)

4.) I can return to university with a fresh mind and a positive attitude, ready to complete the courses I need to re-apply. 

CONS:

1.) I will be wasting about 4-8 months ( It is not even wasting if I am helping to repay my debts and tuition) of finishing a possible degree.

2.) My mother seems to be extremely upset by this idea, maybe because of the way she was raised back home or for other reasons, but she is absolutely not having it. Maybe it is possible to extinguish this con with help from some members?

3.) My mother thinks that if I drop this first semester out, then I will never return to school. She would have had an extremely good point if I never got into university to begin with. That is, many of my friends who graduated highschool with me promised to go to university after a year break and none of them have. However in my case, I already know the trials and tribulations of university, and have already invested money and time in this so I will most definitely be returning. 

My plan is: Out of these 3 courses, I will be keeping two, and dropping one. This means my application is void since I have not completed 8 of the 12 prerequisite courses. I will take the next summer and fall semester (september) for work and peace and meditation, and I will return to school in the winter semester, taking my one course again that I dropped as well as another prerequisite course (making it 9 out of 12 prerequisite courses done, and they take the 8 highest marks) which gives me an even greater chance of acceptance.

Everybody in my family seems to be okay with this decision, except my mom. She absolutely insists that I finish and I am trying to explain to her that hurrying me into this will not end well for anybody. I do not feel ready physically and emotionally to take on an extremely tough faculty and I know a 4-7 month break will be extremely helpful.

How do I help my mother understand? 

Appreciate any feedback and thank you for reading 

 

bismillah

Edited by Jafar moh

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17 minutes ago, Jafar moh said:

Everybody in my family seems to be okay with this decision, except my mom. She absolutely insists that I finish and I am trying to explain to her that hurrying me into this will not end well for anybody. I do not feel ready physically and emotionally to take on an extremely tough faculty and I know a 4-7 month break will be extremely helpful.

Salam. Your mother has experience in life. She has seen people drop out of education and then not return. 

What will the faculty think about you if you take a break? Will this make you look like you are not dependable? Surely they want loyal people who will work hard and be reliable. 

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I understand you're going through a rough situation, but I think you should listen to your mother. " Do not use the sharpness of your speech on the mother who taught you how to speak " - Imam Ali (a.s.)

This just simply states that you should always just listen to your mother, as she is the one who raised you and knows you best. 

Not only this, brother! But if you join the faculty now, then you will strengthen your mind. Just be sure to get a solid sleeping schedule, and you can relax yourself. It is better to tire yourself when you are young and relax when you're old, than to relax when you are young and tire yourself when you are old.

Hope all goes well, will make dua for you. :grin:

Edited by Ahmad Al

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1 hour ago, hameedeh said:

x

 

54 minutes ago, Ahmad Al said:

x

thanks for taking the time to reply guys,

@hameedeh, Applying for any faculty in my university carries no intimacy or choice. The acceptance of a faculty, especially for engineering, is based on your overall AGPA (Adjusted Grade Point Average), adjusted specifically for engineers so that, out of the 12 mandatory prerequisite courses available, you will be accounted for the highest marks of 8 out of 12 for them for your first year entry. The problem is, if I were to somehow enter the faculty, that is where taking a break is dangerous: Once you are accepted, your time begins ticking. You actually have a maximum of 6-7 years (specifically a maximum of obligated credit hours) to finish your degree, or else you are expelled from the faculty. So I am actually on the safe side at the moment, where a break actually changes nothing except my own personal time. As for dependency, I am sure they would rather have determined, ambitious and ready students rather then myself who at the current moment of time is facing personal challenges that is becoming detrimental to my studies

@Ahmad Al, thank you brother for the beautiful quote and It is something I live by through the help of Amir al-mumineen. The problem is however, is that I've had a rocky start through my engineering process from the beginning, because my mother told me to do so and because I listened to her. Alhamdulillah, I feel fine now and I am more looking forward to entering the faculty of engineering now then I did before, however I think it is more then due to take some time off to gather myself before facing an extremely tough next 5 year degree once I am actually into the faculty.

I really am not wasting any time except shaving off 7 months of my personal life to benefit myself and my family, and I cannot explain it any farther then that as far as I know. 

 

again thank you for replies

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My mom was furious that I took a year off from school and said that I'm lazy and would never return.

After my break, I did return to school, and have been getting better grades than ever, alhamdulilah. 

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