Please Help Me, Is my Nikah Valid?

[Caliguy]

Asalamalekum,

 

 

Can the negative and fearful thoughts about the Nikah not being recited properly, void and invalidate the marriage? Even though I know from bottom of my heart that my Nikah was performed correctly almost 2 years ago,

My Nikah was performed almost 2 years back, the problem was that “the representative asked me twice if I accept my wife in marriage and I said yes each time. Later when I went home I started getting negative and unwanted thoughts about my nikah, that the scholars are supposed to ask me three times.” Therefore, I contacted a Mujtahid and he said my nikah is valid. But the thoughts would not stop and kept on bothering me, I don’t know if its shaytan, but the thoughts kept playing in my head all day wherever i was. The sending of the bride ceremony did not occur at the time of the Nikah, and I went abroad leaving my wife back home.

So, I decided that these unwanted thoughts would remain with me forever unless I recite the nikah formula again. So, when I went back for our “sending of the bride ceremony” this January, I stayed at my in laws house for couple day. And me and my wife were together, and we got intimate and I think we might have done intercourse but I am not sure. Because I had received a fatwa from a Mujtahid that my nikah is valid and I don’t have to repeat the “segha” but it is also permissible and no problem even if I repeat it. Afterwards, "before the sending of the bride ceremony" I went to the scholar and he repeated the segha again.

But now I am really confused about few things; 1) was my first nikah recitation valid? 2) the intimate relationship I had with my wife before the second recitation, was that halal? 3) And was the last recitation valid and can the negative and unwanted thoughts about nikah not being done correctly void my nikah?

Many thanks for helping me!

 

 

Edited March 4, 2017 by Caliguy

[realizm]

Having doubts about an act may be ok. Having doubts even after scholars cleared your doubts is surrending to shaytan. 

Seriously, and I am saying it with utmost respect and fraternity, I do not know what is wrong with you here.

[baqar]

4 hours ago, Caliguy said:

Many thanks for helping me!

Your nikah is valid.

Don't worry at all.

Perfectly valid.

The number of times is irrelevant, as long as a Maulana recited your nikah.

[baqar]

Your relationship with your wife is perfectly halal.

[Khadim uz Zahra]

1. If the marja said it was valid, then it is.

2. As above. It was legitimate and you have nothing to worry about.

3. You repeated it once again to be sure and did it correctly so why would it not be?

In a nutshell, doubts and 'thoughts' are irrelevant when it comes to the intentions of actions. As long as you weren't forced into the marriage with a threat to your life, for example, as long as you said "Yes," with your tongue, you agreed to it and that was your explicit intention. Any doubts underneath it all are irrelevant as far as the intentions of actions of go, Islamically speaking. So, your marriage is valid and there's nothing to worry about.

Lastly, with these kinds of things, thinking about it again and again always makes it worse. So, just start ignoring these doubts. In fact, your 'fear' comes from an irrational anxiety regarding the sin. So, when the doubt comes up, tell yourself, "So what if I'm sinning?" Once you learn to be less anxious about the sin, the doubts will dissipate themselves. (Of course, that doesn't mean I'm saying you shouldn't be wary of sin, just that you assume a less stringent position so that your fear of sin is rational and not extreme/irrational as it is now.) Most importantly, you must always remember that Allah is All-Forgiving. He's not going to punish you for some technical/clerical error, especially when you've made all the efforts to correct it (like contacting the marja and repeating the formula). Beyond that, there is no more responsibility on you and God will not test you for more than you can bear.

[Abu Hadi]

You have to first look at the intention and process followed before you look at each part individually. 

1) Was your intention (niyyat) to perform a legal, halal, nikah(marriage) and did you do everything that you knew about and everything at your disposal in order to accomplish this. 

2) Did you intentionally and with clarity of mind disregard any of the hukm shari' (legal requirements) of the nikah(marriage)

If you can answer yes to #1 and no to #2 then your marriage is legal and valid

No doubt. 

If you have the time, energy, and resources to repeat then there is no problem with it, as long as the repetition doesn't lead you into further doubts and then into a downward spiral of more doubts. If it does, then you are not allowed to repeat. 

Edited March 4, 2017 by Abu Hadi

[Caliguy]

On 3/4/2017 at 4:52 AM, baqar said:

Your nikah is valid.

Don't worry at all.

Perfectly valid.

The number of times is irrelevant, as long as a Maulana recited your nikah.

 

On 3/4/2017 at 5:15 AM, Khadim uz Zahra said:

1. If the marja said it was valid, then it is.

2. As above. It was legitimate and you have nothing to worry about.

3. You repeated it once again to be sure and did it correctly so why would it not be?

In a nutshell, doubts and 'thoughts' are irrelevant when it comes to the intentions of actions. As long as you weren't forced into the marriage with a threat to your life, for example, as long as you said "Yes," with your tongue, you agreed to it and that was your explicit intention. Any doubts underneath it all are irrelevant as far as the intentions of actions of go, Islamically speaking. So, your marriage is valid and there's nothing to worry about.

Lastly, with these kinds of things, thinking about it again and again always makes it worse. So, just start ignoring these doubts. In fact, your 'fear' comes from an irrational anxiety regarding the sin. So, when the doubt comes up, tell yourself, "So what if I'm sinning?" Once you learn to be less anxious about the sin, the doubts will dissipate themselves. (Of course, that doesn't mean I'm saying you shouldn't be wary of sin, just that you assume a less stringent position so that your fear of sin is rational and not extreme/irrational as it is now.) Most importantly, you must always remember that Allah is All-Forgiving. He's not going to punish you for some technical/clerical error, especially when you've made all the efforts to correct it (like contacting the marja and repeating the formula). Beyond that, there is no more responsibility on you and God will not test you for more than you can bear.

 

On 3/4/2017 at 8:14 AM, Abu Hadi said:

You have to first look at the intention and process followed before you look at each part individually. 

1) Was your intention (niyyat) to perform a legal, halal, nikah(marriage) and did you do everything that you knew about and everything at your disposal in order to accomplish this. 

2) Did you intentionally and with clarity of mind disregard any of the hukm shari' (legal requirements) of the nikah(marriage)

If you can answer yes to #1 and no to #2 then your marriage is legal and valid

No doubt. 

If you have the time, energy, and resources to repeat then there is no problem with it, as long as the repetition doesn't lead you into further doubts and then into a downward spiral of more doubts. If it does, then you are not allowed to repeat. 

thank you so much for taking the time and helping me!