Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Ibn Al-Shahid

Why must we marry only Muslims?

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Marrying a non-Muslim woman is just not wise given you are a sincere believer. Lets say I marry a Hindu woman(who doesn't agree with Islam), then it will be a set-back for me spiritually to be stuck with someone who doesn't see life the same way as I do. Even If I happen to tolerate her anti-Islamic way of thinking, than what about the children? which religion would they follow?. Trust me whenever I have seen inter-faith marriages(Muslim and non-Muslims), the children always end up pursuing the sinful ways of living. Allah therefore has given us a very strong advice because he cares about us and knows what is better for us. 

It is a whole different case if someone is a Muslim by name and therefore, him marrying someone of another faith would not be a concern to him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

than what about the children? which religion would they follow?

Blindly following a religion because your parents follow it isn't a good thing. The children will eventually decide on their own. Why should I force my children into something they have no idea about simply because I believe it? That's taking away their right of choice.

You teach your children about Islam but you don't force anything on them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

Blindly following a religion because your parents follow it isn't a good thing. The children will eventually decide on their own. Why should I force my children into something they have no idea about simply because I believe it? That's taking away their right of choice.

You teach your children about Islam but you don't force anything on them.

If you believe In God and that the prophet Muhammad(saw) is the messenger of GOd then it follows you will want to do as he says so only marry muslim woman permanentlybesides you have long mutahs if your still not satisfied.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

Blindly following a religion because your parents follow it isn't a good thing. The children will eventually decide on their own. Why should I force my children into something they have no idea about simply because I believe it? That's taking away their right of choice.

You teach your children about Islam but you don't force anything on them.

You would risk the chance for your children to believe in a different religion? Blind following isn't good, but it's better to blind follow the 100% correct path of Allah than to risk having them choose the false path.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In Quran it is written 

Do not marry idolatresses (al mushrikāt) till they believe; and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress even though she would please you; and do not marry idolaters (al Mushrikīn) till they believe (hata yūminū), and certainly a believing slave is better than an idolater, even though he would please you. These invite to the Fire, and Allah invites to the Garden and to forgiveness by His grace, and makes clear His revelations to mankind so that they may remember.”Qur’an 2:221

if really are a true Muslim then  you will act upon the sayings of Quran

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Hassan Y said:

You would risk the chance for your children to believe in a different religion? Blind following isn't good, but it's better to blind follow the 100% correct path of Allah than to risk having them choose the false path.

They have free will. They have the ability to choose. I can only teach. I will never force. My prophet and Imams عليهم افضل الصلاة والسلام did not force people into the religion, why should I? You can show them the path, but not force them into it. They will never fully understand the religion if they're dragged into it. They will be sub-par humans, their faith will be shaken instantly.

I'd rather have children that can question and think for themselves than programmed robots.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

They have free will. They have the ability to choose. I can only teach. I will never force. My prophet and Imams عليهم افضل الصلاة والسلام did not force people into the religion, why should I? You can show them the path, but not force them into it. They will never fully understand the religion if they're dragged into it. They will be sub-par humans, their faith will be shaken instantly.

I'd rather have children that can question and think for themselves than programmed robots.

No one said to force them. Teaching them about Islam at a young age through their teenage years is what brings them to the right path. Having both parents as Muslims is very beneficial and important for the kids to achieve that, but having one parent that's non-Muslim will only bring confusion to your children and the odds of them going astray increases. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

Blindly following a religion because your parents follow it isn't a good thing. The children will eventually decide on their own. Why should I force my children into something they have no idea about simply because I believe it? That's taking away their right of choice.

You teach your children about Islam but you don't force anything on them.

If you are a blind follower of Islam, you can marry at your will. Islam just tell you not to marry for your own benefit. But if you want to destroy yourself, Islam says choice is yours either you choose Hell or Heaven. Since you do not understand the Wisdom of Islam, it is superfluous to argue with you. What if your children did every sin in life and finally reach to Islam and they allege you not to tell them the reality in the first place. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

Blindly following a religion because your parents follow it isn't a good thing. The children will eventually decide on their own. Why should I force my children into something they have no idea about simply because I believe it? That's taking away their right of choice.

You teach your children about Islam but you don't force anything on them.

If you are a blind follower of Islam, you can marry at your will. Islam just tell you not to marry for your own benefit. But if you want to destroy yourself, Islam says choice is yours either you choose Hell or Heaven. Since you do not understand the Wisdom of Islam, it is superfluous to argue with you. What if your children did every sin in life and finally reach to Islam and they allege you not to tell them the reality in the first place. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

Blindly following a religion because your parents follow it isn't a good thing. The children will eventually decide on their own. Why should I force my children into something they have no idea about simply because I believe it? That's taking away their right of choice.

You teach your children about Islam but you don't force anything on them.

No one said to force islam on your children, but why make them go through the struggle of having to decide upon other faiths. This is being very selfish, like you might be a great muslim but your children don't deserve to waste their time deciding between two religions. What if the children get addicted to sins simply because they never followed islam ( what if your child becomes an alcoholic?? and had you married a muslim women then this would never be the case).

Islam emphasises a lot on the role of parents because they are very important to the childs upbringing. Parents will be questioned on the day of judgment for how they raised their children.

Nowadays parents in the western society have this ideology that " let the  child do whatever and eventually he will learn what is right and wrong". Islam opposes this because you should save your child before he/she becomes drowned in the sea of sins. It is just like saying " I will let my child do whatever, be drugs or alcohol, because they will learn from their mistakes"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

بسمه تعالى

السلام عليكم

Why must we only marry Muslim women? (permanently) Why can't we marry women from other faiths?

I'm looking for answers that aren't "Because Allah said so".

وعلى الله فليتوكل المتوكلون

The morning after the wedding of Imam Ali (as) and Hz Fatima (as), the Prophet (saw) asked Imam Ali (as) how he found Hz. Fatima (as).

Imam Ali (as) responded with something like, "I found her to be a great partner in worshiping Allah." or something to this effect.

So marry someone in your faith so you can help each other in spiritually. From personal experience, my wife and I have been on hajj and all the ziarats together and it has brought us closer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

They have free will. They have the ability to choose. I can only teach. I will never force. My prophet and Imams عليهم افضل الصلاة والسلام did not force people into the religion, why should I? You can show them the path, but not force them into it. They will never fully understand the religion if they're dragged into it. They will be sub-par humans, their faith will be shaken instantly.

I'd rather have children that can question and think for themselves than programmed robots.

If you teach them properly they will question anyway... but what if your wife wants to teach your kids her ways ? And wants to brought them up according to her religion ? 

Then.... 

on one point, it's alright it's the choice of the kids.... 

and there's no compulsion in religion. But it's also one of the obligation of muslims to teach their kids the true path. And if possible try to pave ways where their children can abstain from sinful life even from early age... not letting them to their fates... 

Many of those who repent at later stage, they always wish and always have regret wish they had done this before. Wish they had known about their sins before. ...  

 

But at the end of the day it's personal choice... and where one wants to be in life and hereafter. If you want to live spiritual life and wants to grow spiritually then marry in same faith. It will not only help you but your future generations. 

 

But if you only care about your temporary pleasures and you only want to follow bare minimum of religion than marry whomever you want without looking into it's far sighted consequences. People live happily in any kind of marriage, if they truly love each other.  

Edited by Struggling_onn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Qa'im said:

It's not about forcing your children into a religion, we cannot guide everyone we love. It's about raising them in an environment where sin is not the norm. If you marry a non-Muslim, your children will be exposed to someone that likely eats pork, drinks alcohol, does not pray much, and eats drinking shahr Ramadan. This can get worse with cheating (which is a lot more common among non-Muslim women), domestic violence, backbiting, and other activities that are more "normal" in a non-Muslim environment. As a matter of principle, your children will feel that these are very normal behaviours that they are used to seeing firsthand. I am born to Muslim parents - if I ever decided to commit one of these haram acts, it would at least be strange to me, and I would see it as wrong, or at least alien to my own upbringing and environment.

Marriage is not just about good personality and good sex. It's about familial compatibility and lifestyle compatibility. Practically speaking, you also want to marry someone that motivates you to improve your relationship with Allah. A non-Muslim will, at best, just leave you alone in your practice, and at worse, question or mock your practice, and encourage you to abandon them.

There is also divine rights that Muslim men and women must fulfill for one another as a matter of faith, not just decency, and a non-Muslim spouse may not agree with that.

 

6 hours ago, shiaman14 said:

The morning after the wedding of Imam Ali (as) and Hz Fatima (as), the Prophet (saw) asked Imam Ali (as) how he found Hz. Fatima (as).

Imam Ali (as) responded with something like, "I found her to be a great partner in worshiping Allah." or something to this effect.

So marry someone in your faith so you can help each other in spiritually. From personal experience, my wife and I have been on hajj and all the ziarats together and it has brought us closer.

I like these answers.

Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Qa'im said:

It's not about forcing your children into a religion, we cannot guide everyone we love. It's about raising them in an environment where sin is not the norm. If you marry a non-Muslim, your children will be exposed to someone that likely eats pork, drinks alcohol, does not pray much, and eats drinking shahr Ramadan. This can get worse with cheating (which is a lot more common among non-Muslim women), domestic violence, backbiting, and other activities that are more "normal" in a non-Muslim environment.

You make non muslims out to be monsters.  Cheating drunkards who beat their wives? Come on man.  This isnt justification, this is bias.

Ill tell ya, in my limited experience, what I have found is that muslims are just as much human as everyone else.  Yes thats right, there is domestic abuse, cheating, certainly backbiting (lets be honest), and yes, muslims who drink as well. You might say, well they arent very Islamic, ok well there are plenty of Christians and Jews and even atheists etc., who also avoid these things.  Ive known atheists who have never touched alcohol in their lives. Many Christians I know would rather die before they had an affair.

I will grant passage on the pork statement though.  Cant deny a tasty piece of bacon, but thats beside the point!

I think there would be a great deal of responsibility with marrying someone outside of the faith. It would likely be difficult. If you were really excited about Hajj for example, the other person may not be on the same level. But, if you love someone, sacrifice is the name of the game. If you care deeply about someone, then being there for them is what you do. It all depends on what common grounds you share, and if those commonalities outweigh the differences in making your relationship succeed.

Every relationship is different. I know of inter faith relationships that could not work.  But I also know interfaith couples who have been married for decades, happily. Being able to experience another faith could be something both parties really appreciate and enjoy doing. Perhaps their families are from different cultures and different countries that also add to the great experiences they may come across. Perhaps the couple is able to find more commonality between their faiths, than what is typically recognized. Perhaps the couple could even unite people that otherwise would have been divided.

The possibilities are endless.

Edited by iCambrian

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, iCambrian said:

You make non muslims out to be monsters.  Cheating drunkards who beat their wives? Come on man.  This isnt justification, this is bias.

Ill tell ya, in my limited experience, what I have found is that muslims are just as much human as everyone else.  Yes thats right, there is domestic abuse, cheating, certainly backbiting (lets be honest), and yes, muslims who drink as well. You might say, well they arent very Islamic, ok well there are plenty of Christians and Jews and even atheists etc., who also avoid these things.  Ive known atheists who have never touched alcohol in their lives. Many Christians I know would rather die before they had an affair.

I will grant passage on the pork statement though.  Cant deny a tasty piece of bacon, but thats beside the point!

I don't buy the "everyone is equally moral/immoral" argument, because everyone has different red lines and taboos. Non-Muslims are not monsters, they are simply raised with a difference frame of reference for morality. No practicing Muslim will drink alcohol, and if they did, they would never advertise it. But over 70% of Americans have drank alcohol in the past year, because their religions, legal systems, and worldviews do not regard drinking as an evil.

Yes there is domestic violence in Muslim marriages, I can give you that point. But as someone who has worked in several mosques in different cities and has done marriage counseling, I've only ever heard of two Muslim women cheating on their spouses, and both of those women were converts. I'm not going to argue that it does not happen, but it is virtually unheard of among practicing Muslims - and again, if it does happen, it's kept secret and not "legitimized" in any way. But many Western feminists including Mary Nichols have argued for free love. In 2016, it was found that about 50% of American women have cheated on their husbands - making the rate identical to husbands for the first time in polling history.

Again, some of these are extraordinary people, but it is undeniable that taboos are different in different cultures.

And these are just the touchy issues. Not many non-Muslims are going to be very supportive of their spouse praying, fasting, raising their children to be Muslim, avoiding haram social settings, keeping a Muslim dresscode and diet, and fulfilling matters of ritual purity. Some will perhaps be okay with these things, but not participate in them, or encourage them; and being in an environment where these things are cultivated are important for any Muslim household. Some will straight-up mock these practices or contradict them on purpose.

There are Muslims that do these things to - I say don't marry them either.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, Qa'im said:

I don't buy the "everyone is equally moral/immoral" argument, because everyone has different red lines and taboos. Non-Muslims are not monsters, they are simply raised with a difference frame of reference for morality. No practicing Muslim will drink alcohol, and if they did, they would never advertise it. But over 70% of Americans have drank alcohol in the past year, because their religions, legal systems, and worldviews do not regard drinking as an evil.

Yes there is domestic violence in Muslim marriages, I can give you that point. But as someone who has worked in several mosques in different cities and has done marriage counseling, I've only ever heard of two Muslim women cheating on their spouses, and both of those women were converts. I'm not going to argue that it does not happen, but it is virtually unheard of among practicing Muslims - and again, if it does happen, it's kept secret and not "legitimized" in any way. But many Western feminists including Mary Nichols have argued for free love. In 2016, it was found that about 50% of American women have cheated on their husbands - making the rate identical to husbands for the first time in polling history.

Again, some of these are extraordinary people, but it is undeniable that taboos are different in different cultures.

And these are just the touchy issues. Not many non-Muslims are going to be very supportive of their spouse praying, fasting, raising their children to be Muslim, avoiding haram social settings, keeping a Muslim dresscode and diet, and fulfilling matters of ritual purity. Some will perhaps be okay with these things, but not participate in them, or encourage them; and being in an environment where these things are cultivated are important for any Muslim household. Some will straight-up mock these practices or contradict them on purpose.

There are Muslims that do these things to - I say don't marry them either.

What about someone who doesnt drink or cheat? What about someone who doesnt like the haram setting in a similar way? You used the words "not many", when describing people. While it is true that, of course the majority of non muslims will not live as muslims do, what of the few that would respect that persons faith, while simultaneously not engaging in haram things?

I mentioned in my post above, and had been editing it, but i know of successful interfaith couples. While I would imagine there are difficulties, they appear to be happy.

Ill do some reading...

Edited by iCambrian

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, iCambrian said:

What about someone who doesnt drink or cheat? What about someone who doesnt like the haram setting in a similar way? You used the words "not many", when describing people. While it is true that, of course the majority of non muslims will not live as muslims do, what of the few that would respect that persons faith, while simultaneously not engaging in haram things?

I mentioned in my post above, and had been editing it, but i know of successful interfaith couples. While I would imagine there are difficulties, they appear to be happy.

In principle an interfaith couple can succeed, and it is not haraam if the OP wanted to marry a non-Muslim; I am just saying that a Muslim-Muslim marriage is more conventional and will reap the most benefits :grin:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see. For the OP, I think every relation is different. The pros and cons will vary, and I would not presumptively avoid people of other faiths, because you simply do not know what joy and love you may find.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
52 minutes ago, iCambrian said:

 I think every relation is different. The pros and cons will vary, and I would not presumptively avoid people of other faiths, because you simply do not know what joy and love you may find.

yeah.. if you aren't looking to get permanently getting stick to one person than little bit of exploring and looking around, won't kill... you never know what you may find... !!! 

Even though it's not recommended in islam.  but if you don't follow it then what is there to stop you and enjoy this life in all possible ways ? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From my understanding, interfaith marriage in some forms are accepted in Islam. And it's not about temporary fun. You can form a life long, loving and enjoyable marriage with a person of another faith.

but this is only possible if you first start by recognizing that it can happen or that you would be willing to experience it.

Edited by iCambrian

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But you do have a point. For example, I believe Muslim women could not marry outside of the faith. In that case, I imagine performing this act would be considered a sin and could be detrimental. Family members would have issues with it, friends as well. Spiritual leaders etc.

i think that's a big part of what makes these things difficult as well, cultural or religious taboos and how society would view it. A marriage could collapse not on it's own merits but by the strain if outside influence from family and friends.  Much in the way a Shia-Sunni marriage could fail for the same reason.

Edited by iCambrian

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And as for the one question "what is to stop me from enjoying life in all possible ways?" 

Sounds like you're asking a question beyond the scope of the topic, but...

well...it depends on what joy you're referring to. And it depends on what you mean in that question.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And as for the one question "what is to stop me from enjoying life in all possible ways?" 

Sounds like you're asking a question beyond the scope of the topic, but...

well...it depends on what joy you're referring to. And it depends on what you mean in that question.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, iCambrian said:

Ill tell ya, in my limited experience, what I have found is that muslims are just as much human as everyone else.  Yes thats right, there is domestic abuse, cheating, certainly backbiting (lets be honest), and yes, muslims who drink as well. You might say, well they arent very Islamic, ok well there are plenty of Christians and Jews and even atheists etc., who also avoid these things.  Ive known atheists who have never touched alcohol in their lives. Many Christians I know would rather die before they had an affair.

I agree with you. As it turns out, Muslims are like all other people.

11 hours ago, Qa'im said:

Yes there is domestic violence in Muslim marriages, I can give you that point. But as someone who has worked in several mosques in different cities and has done marriage counseling, I've only ever heard of two Muslim women cheating on their spouses, and both of those women were converts. I'm not going to argue that it does not happen, but it is virtually unheard of among practicing Muslims - and again, if it does happen, it's kept secret and not "legitimized" in any way. But many Western feminists including Mary Nichols have argued for free love. In 2016, it was found that about 50% of American women have cheated on their husbands - making the rate identical to husbands for the first time in polling history.

Practicing muslims don't cheat. I don't believe practicing Christians, Jews, Hindus, necessarily cheat either.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 27/02/2017 at 1:27 PM, Ibn Al-Shahid said:

بسمه تعالى

السلام عليكم

Why must we only marry Muslim women? (permanently) Why can't we marry women from other faiths?

I'm looking for answers that aren't "Because Allah said so".

وعلى الله فليتوكل المتوكلون

That's debated amongst the ulama. Some ulama allow permanent marriage with Christian and Jewish women.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2017-03-01 at 4:50 AM, E.L King said:

That's debated amongst the ulama. Some ulama allow permanent marriage with Christian and Jewish women.

I heard ayatollah Khoei allowed it, but most of the other marjas like sayed khamenei, sayed Sistani and imam Khomeini deemed it impermissible. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A Muslim man is the equal (kufw) of a Muslim woman. Both of them believe in the same religion and religious principles and values. They have a lot in common and they do not disagree with each other when it comes to how they should educate and nurture their child. Thus, they agree that the child they are going to educate will have to be brought up as believing in the same religion and values they believe in.

A man who marries a faithful Muslim woman is less likely to encounter any domestic problems. There will be no or less domestic violence as compared to a family with one of the two parties being non-Muslim.

Let's not forget that Islam allows only temporary marriage to a non-Muslim Kitabi woman. That is when he is not already married to a Muslim woman. If he is already married, the marriage is not allowed,as an obligatory precaution.  Islam forbids marriage to an atheist or a Buddhist because she is considered to be ritually impure.

Last but not least, if we do not know the reason for a divine injunction, we should submit to it even if we do not know the wisdom behind it.

For further information in this regard, please click on the following link:

http://islamportal.net/question/it-necessary-have-consent-one’s-wife-when-contracting-temporary-marriage-people-book

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On February 27, 2017 at 9:59 PM, Qa'im said:

In 2016, it was found that about 50% of American women have cheated on their husbands - making the rate identical to husbands for the first time in polling history.

 

Is this linked to the wrong article? This info shows only 19.2 % of " cheating "on the part of the women  and does not indicate marital status of the couples.

 

 

******

This study aimed to assess the relative importance of demographic, interpersonal, and personality factors in predicting sexual infidelity in heterosexual couples. A total of 506 men (M age = 32.86 years, SD = 10.60) and 412 women (M age = 27.66 years, SD = 8.93), who indicated they were in a monogamous sexual relationship, completed a series of questionnaires, including the Sexual Excitation/Inhibition (SES/SIS) scales and the Mood and Sexuality Questionnaire, and answered questions about, among others, religiosity, education, income, relationship and sexual satisfaction, and sexual compatibility. Almost one-quarter of men (23.2%) and 19.2% of women indicated that they had "cheated" during their current relationship (i.e., engaged in sexual interactions with someone other than their partner that could jeopardize, or hurt, their relationship). Among men, a logistic regression analysis, explaining 17% of the variance, revealed that a higher propensity of sexual excitation (SES) and sexual inhibition due to "the threat of performance concerns" (SIS1), a lower propensity for sexual inhibition due to "the threat of performance consequences" (SIS2), and an increased tendency to engage in regretful sexual behavior during negative affective states were all significant predictors of infidelity. In women, a similar regression analysis explained 21% of the variance in engaging in infidelity. In addition to SIS1 and SIS2, for which the same patterns were found as for men, low relationship happiness and low compatibility in terms of sexual attitudes and values were predictive of infidelity. The findings of this study suggest that, for both men and women, sexual personality characteristics and, for women, relationship factors are more relevant to the prediction of sexual infidelity than demographic variables such as marital status and religiosity.

Edited by LeftCoastMom

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know very few practicing Christian or Jewish women who  engage in the behaviors described.

Some  sects of Christians forbid alcohol. All forbid extra or premarital intercourse. Pork is forbidden to Jews. Lying, cheating, whatever-is-forbidden-in-the-Ten-commandments is forbidden to adherents of both religions. Many Christians from the Amish to the Orthodox practice traditional forms of modest dress.

You can always choose to be a bad or in-name-only Christian, Jew,or Muslim.

I think ,from what I understand from my in-laws, the idea for a Muslim fellow is to find a good practicing Christian or Jew if he wants to marry one....not go after  the bar flies. SG met DD in the library where she was studying, like she was supposed to be, not in a booze bar,where she had never gone.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...