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Shiagirl___

Will Allah (SWT) forgive me for masturbation add.?

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Salam Alaikum,

This is my first topic as I decided to make a new account today because I have no one else to talk to my problem about. I know some of you may be tired of hearing about these problems here but I need your help. I know you may be surprised as you would except this from a boy but im a girl suffering from masturbation addiction. I feel very ashamed and embarrassed to even write it but I really need someone to give me hope for Allah's mercy (I know it's big but sometimes I feel like repentance isn't enough) My very bad friend in the past introduced me to watch porn online which led me to this disgusting sin. ( I haven't spoken to her in 2 years) once I met my new friends, I changed and became a better Muslim; I stopped backbiting etc they taught me the best things in life. But since last year I came back to the sin, I can't really remember how because I don't even watch porn since that bad person was my friend. 

Everytime I do it, I burst out in tears and repent from the bottom of my heart to Allah that I'm sorry and I won't repeat this disgusting sin , and I really do mean it. The shaytan defeats me all the time. Not to long after , maybe 3 weeks laters, I go back to it and repent and cry, go back to it, repent and cry and it doesn't stop until this day. I really do love Allah and I fear him but once you keep doing the sin you are trapped. I repeated that sin again and I cried a lot today but I feel worthless and disgusting and I feel like Allah just won't forgive me anymore, the more I repeat the sin, I still cry a lot but I don't bother to express my feelings to Allah ( I do it on the inside, because I feel like Allah is tired of listening to someone who keeps breaking their promise) Also, because I saw a quote from Imam al rida (alayhilsalam) saying

Imam al-Rida (AS) said, ‘The one who seeks forgiveness for a sin and then repeats it is as one who mocks his Lord.’

after this, I just feel suicidal and I plan on cutting myself because of this addiction. Every time o repent to Allah I ask him to help me and make me stronger but i keep going back to it in a shorter period of time.

i really feel like the imams are cursing me when I pray for them and make Dua.

im very jealous of my religious friends and I wish I was them because I feel so scarred. I even wrote a big letter to myself for motivation not to repeat it and that I will deal with the consequences in the after life but I still do it. Here in the Shiachat community, I saw people asking if they will inshallah be forgiven for bad deeds if they repent and many of you guys said that Allah won't forgive you if you keep repeating it and that you'll go to hell.

Please don't tell me to consider Mutah as I am only 15 and what will my parents say if I tell them, I will be in big trouble and I don't want this anyway as it is an addiction and I want to overcome it instead of finding a solution this way.

My question; 1) you guys are the only people I can have this conversation about and no one else. If i truly promised Allah this is my last time and I strongly promise that I mean it from the bottom from my heart, do you think I inshallah will be forgiven? Please give me hope on Allah's mercy even though I know it's very big.

2) Do you think I may not be forgiven as Imam al rida states that repeating it is like mocking your Lord?

And please pray for me.

Bless you

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:salam:

First thing you need to realize is that any addiction (in this case Porn addiction) is a symptom of depression. Your brain searches out pleasure causing things and then creates an addiction in the hopes of finding pleasure sensations when none are to be had due to your depression.

Throughout your post you speak of crying and feeling worthless due to your guilt of committing this sin. On top of it your biggest fear is your despair in being forgiven of the addiction. Those are all signs of depression.

Your mental health is what is causing you to act this way and to become addicted to something which causes your brain to find pleasure. Get your depression addressed and treated and all of these other addictions will go away by themselves.

As far as being forgiven...Allah in his infinite mercy and knowledge already knows you better than you know yourself and he is more than aware of why you are doing the things that you are doing. Don't despair. Allah may have already forgiven you.

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Allah will forgive those who sincerely repent. It is only those whose repentance is not sincere who are mocking the mercy of Allah. 

Avoid spending time alone, keep busy with useful things, and do not despair of Allah's mercy. 

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Salam, 

Masturbation is an addiction, the best way to drop addictions is to educate yourself on the problems they cause.

First, we need to understand that Allah swt does not make things haram for no reason. Everything that is haram is because it causes us physical and mental harm. Some of the bad affects of masturbation are..

  • causes sexual dysfunction later on in life.. (I will not be too graphic)
  • causes a mental illness that inflates lust,
  • Porn trains your mind to want more perverse images. This will stop you from being able to enjoy normal relations with your spouse and lead you to bigger sins. it will also help you develop impossible standards in finding a spouse as everyone in porn is good looking.
  • Masturbation is proven to cause depression. you deplete your energy and your dopamines at a dangerous level
  • kills your drive to actually get married

These are just some, there are alot more.

To quit this addiction is the same as quitting any. You need to fight the withdrawal period. As you said you will stop for 3 weeks and then go back. This is your withdrawal time frame. You will reach this peak of urge and this IS the hardest part. If you surpass this urge at that time, it will only get easier, until eventually you will be released of this addiction and not even have the urge anymore. This is where you want to reach.

Inshallah with practice,will and Allah's help you will defeat this sin. 

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2 minutes ago, kirtc said:

why answer if not bothering to read.... 

Because I know Allah is merciful and I have no doubt about it. Yes in some case I don't think he will forgive you but musterbation is not one of them. 

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1 hour ago, Shiagirl___ said:

My question; 1) you guys are the only people I can have this conversation about and no one else. If i truly promised Allah this is my last time and I strongly promise that I mean it from the bottom from my heart, do you think I inshallah will be forgiven? Please give me hope on Allah's mercy even though I know it's very big.

2) Do you think I may not be forgiven as Imam al rida states that repeating it is like mocking your Lord?

3

1. In all honesty, we shouldn't be the ones giving you hope for Allah's mercy. He is the One who has already promised His Mercy to those who sincerely repent even for repeated mistakes. In fact, if I remember correctly, losing hope in Him (His Mercy) is a major sin. 

2. Let's not take narrations out of proper context. Repeating a sin is like mocking your Lord if your initial intention was to ridicule/abuse the mercy. You are not mocking the Lord if you have a sincere intention to quit a sin but end up committing it again. What is more important for you is to seek forgiveness as early as possible after having committed a sin and to sincerely find ways to identify the root cause and eliminate it to the best of your ability in your present circumstances. 

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God has said that he forgives all sins except one. That being said repenting is an actual proccess. I recommend you to read shaheed motaharis book on repentence also available in english. Inshallah it will guide you in the right direction.

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7 hours ago, Shiagirl___ said:

This is my first topic as I decided to make a new account today because I have no one else to talk to my problem about.

whenever you fear that wrong thoughts are coming into mind, start a cartoon movie, or come online for asking religious question or talk to your friends.

Allah help those, who try to help themselves. Help yourself sister. 

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7 hours ago, Shiagirl___ said:

My question; 1) you guys are the only people I can have this conversation about and no one else. If i truly promised Allah this is my last time and I strongly promise that I mean it from the bottom from my heart, do you think I inshallah will be forgiven? Please give me hope on Allah's mercy even though I know it's very big.

2) Do you think I may not be forgiven as Imam al rida states that repeating it is like mocking your Lord?

wasalam

other members have given you enough hope sister... Allah is all merciful

but fadullah did allow women to masturbate as he didn't consider is haram according to my limited knowledge.  

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5 hours ago, Akbar673 said:

:salam:

First thing you need to realize is that any addiction (in this case Porn addiction) is a symptom of depression. Your brain searches out pleasure causing things and then creates an addiction in the hopes of finding pleasure sensations when none are to be had due to your depression.

Throughout your post you speak of crying and feeling worthless due to your guilt of committing this sin. On top of it your biggest fear is your despair in being forgiven of the addiction. Those are all signs of depression.

Your mental health is what is causing you to act this way and to become addicted to something which causes your brain to find pleasure. Get your depression addressed and treated and all of these other addictions will go away by themselves.

As far as being forgiven...Allah in his infinite mercy and knowledge already knows you better than you know yourself and he is more than aware of why you are doing the things that you are doing. Don't despair. Allah may have already forgiven you.

Thank you a lot for this

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3 hours ago, Sindbad05 said:

whenever you fear that wrong thoughts are coming into mind, start a cartoon movie, or come online for asking religious question or talk to your friends.

Allah help those, who try to help themselves. Help yourself sister. 

May Allah bless you thank you

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4 hours ago, repenter said:

God has said that he forgives all sins except one. That being said repenting is an actual proccess. I recommend you to read shaheed motaharis book on repentence also available in english. Inshallah it will guide you in the right direction.

Thank you I'll be sure to read it soon!

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1. Allah swt likes humans to struggle towards the goodness. Every time you succumb to sin, there must be at least 3 times that you overcame your urges and didn't do sin. Try to make those overcome instances more than times that you succumb to desires.

2. Here's a sure shot way of getting rid of this sin. Make a niyah to Allah swt that next time you did masturbation, you will immediately fast continuously for next three days. If you do commit it again, immediately take a ghusl and start three day fasting from the next morning. If it won't work, make the niyah of 10 days continuous fast from the next day. Eventually your inner self causing you to keep reverting back to this masturbation habit would break and die out.

3. Know this, all those brothers and sisters, who are into habit of masturbation, you will never be able to enjoy your spouse fully and in the most special way. That's one permanent curse of masturbation. So quit it now before you get more into this filth hole. If you do,you must have already lost some of it. Preserve and save what is left of it. 

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

I'm going to be a little tough on you sis, so please bare with me.

You are very young, 15 right.  Would you please drop all the screens, yes tablet, smart phones, tv and go and do something outside?

You have your health and youth, get out of your bedroom, get off the internet, disconnect from the online world and go OUTSIDE.

Go to a library, expand your brain, learn something new about different cultures, countries, find a hobby.  Knitting, cooking, horseback ridding, swimming, ice skating, rollerblading, go play tennis, cross country.

Volunteer your time to a nursing home, YMCA, an animal shelter.  You have the energy, turn your electonics off and go do something productive.  Fine, you dont want to get married, then get yourself busy.

Think of ideas of how to make this world a better place.  A campaign of anti-bullying, human trafficking, helping refugees, comforting the elderly, volunteering in soup kitchens or volunteering in Habitat for Humanity.

Stop being alone, and be active.  Work hard to be successful in a future career you are interested in.  Go to the masjid and be a part of the youth committee.

Start off the morning by saying a3dthu bil Allah min as shaitain al rajeem 10 times and at night say it ten times again.

Pick up the Quran and recite a page a day. Commit to salawat everyday start off by 3 times saying, Allahoma sale 3la mohammad wa ahle mohammad, keep doing it everyday. If you find yourself you can increase salawat then go for it, but do something minimial and commit to it daily.

Remove all music from your life, replace with ziyarat, latmiya, quran. 

Get a sadaqa box and put in a quarter everyday for the reappearce of Imam Mahdi.

Change your life now!  God is very merciful but don't forget He is severe in His punishment.  Death is available to the young and old.  Just remember, when death approaches what is the last action you have committed that will be recorded?  Dying in the state of haram or dying when you did a noble good deed?  You decide, be free, be smart, be like Hurr.

I hope you know you have to do obligatory ghusul ghanaba.  Please be aware of the jurisprudence.  Or your salat is invalid.

Remember you are responsible for your choices and will be held accountable in front of Allah.  You choose your path.  The path of Sayyida Zaynab, of modesty and purity or the hellbound deplorable Miley Cyrus the mucus of shaitain.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Edited by Laayla

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6 hours ago, Struggling_onn said:

but fadullah did allow women to masturbate as he didn't consider is haram according to my limited knowledge.  

Salam. Ayatullah Fadhullah RA said masturbation is haram. In his book, see the section called Masturbation ... The Perpetrator and the Victim: 

Quote

Thus, masturbation is forbidden in every way, shape, or form - including the sexual imagination that leads to the orgasm.....boys and girls.....this evil practice.

https://www.al-islam.org/world-our-youth-ayatullah-sayyid-muhammad-husayn-fadlullah/themes-2-our-youth-essential-model#masturbation-perpetrator-and-victim 

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1 hour ago, repenter said:

I gave this advice to a guy i know that had the same problem....and he told me months later that it was the best advice ever. It is a little strange but uf you really are a shia it will work.

Write Imam Ali And Fatima Zahra on the palms of your left and right hand with a marker. Every time you think about doing something wrong with those hands you will stop.

Just make sure its a easy wash off marker so you can wash it off before bathroom trips. Then write it back on.

 

That's such a great idea I will be doing this. Thanks so much for your help

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11 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

I'm going to be a little tough on you sis, so please bare with me.

You are very young, 15 right.  Would you please drop all the screens, yes tablet, smart phones, tv and go and do something outside?

You have your health and youth, get out of your bedroom, get off the internet, disconnect from the online world and go OUTSIDE.

Go to a library, expand your brain, learn something new about different cultures, countries, find a hobby.  Knitting, cooking, horseback ridding, swimming, ice skating, rollerblading, go play tennis, cross country.

Volunteer your time to a nursing home, YMCA, an animal shelter.  You have the energy, turn your electonics off and go do something productive.  Fine, you dont want to get married, then get yourself busy.

Think of ideas of how to make this world a better place.  A campaign of anti-bullying, human trafficking, helping refugees, comforting the elderly, volunteering in soup kitchens or volunteering in Habitat for Humanity.

Stop being alone, and be active.  Work hard to be successful in a future career you are interested in.  Go to the masjid and be a part of the youth committee.

Start off the morning by saying a3dthu bil Allah min as shaitain al rajeem 10 times and at night say it ten times again.

Pick up the Quran and recite a page a day. Commit to salawat everyday start off by 3 times saying, Allahoma sale 3la mohammad wa ahle mohammad, keep doing it everyday. If you find yourself you can increase salawat then go for it, but do something minimial and commit to it daily.

Remove all music from your life, replace with ziyarat, latmiya, quran. 

Get a sadaqa box and put in a quarter everyday for the reappearce of Imam Mahdi.

Change your life now!  God is very merciful but don't forget He is severe in His punishment.  Death is available to the young and old.  Just remember, when death approaches what is the last action you have committed that will be recorded?  Dying in the state of haram or dying when you did a noble good deed?  You decide, be free, be smart, be like Hurr.

I hope you know you have to do obligatory ghusul ghanaba.  Please be aware of the jurisprudence.  Or your salat is invalid.

Remember you are responsible for your choices and will be held accountable in front of Allah.  You choose your path.  The path of Sayyida Zaynab, of modesty and purity or the hellbound deplorable Miley Cyrus the mucus of shaitain.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Thank you for this. I know I'm not perfect and I'm young for my age so I haven't tied half of these things but I'm trying my best on focusing on my education right now since it is the last year of high school for me. While you didn't really answer my question I appreciate that you've given me so many other things to do instead of just being at home. I always pray obviously, read the Quran everyday, fast everyday of Ramadan, and remember Allah.

May Allah Bless you 

wa alaikum al salam

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum Sister.

Everytime you do this haram act there is ghusul you must preform before you approach salat or fasting.  It is called ghusul al janaba.  It is the same way you do ghusul al hayd (after you finish your period) but instead your intention is ghusul al janaba.  

If you have any jurisprudence questions, there are scholars who answer in a Telegram group.  The link is below, just make sure you mention your marja3 first.

https://telegram.me/joinchat/AlaQND2awhvVwsFZKj-f1g

 

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

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1 hour ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum Sister.

Everytime you do this haram act there is ghusul you must preform before you approach salat or fasting.  It is called ghusul al janaba.  It is the same way you do ghusul al hayd (after you finish your period) but instead your intention is ghusul al janaba.  

If you have any jurisprudence questions, there are scholars who answer in a Telegram group.  The link is below, just make sure you mention your marja3 first.

https://telegram.me/joinchat/AlaQND2awhvVwsFZKj-f1g

 

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

Thank you, yes I know about it and do it afterwards. Thanks for the info

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On Thursday, February 16, 2017 at 8:17 PM, Shiagirl___ said:

Thank you, yes I know about it and do it afterwards. Thanks for the info

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

The month of Rajab is fast approaching.  How are you holding up?  Are you keeping yourself busy?  

Are you avoiding to be by yourself?

Try fasting in the month of Rajab, wake up early for sahoor and fast.  March 25, maybe the first day depending on the sighting of the moon.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN ALLAH 

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On 3/4/2017 at 8:50 AM, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

The month of Rajab is fast approaching.  How are you holding up?  Are you keeping yourself busy?  

Are you avoiding to be by yourself?

Try fasting in the month of Rajab, wake up early for sahoor and fast.  March 25, maybe the first day depending on the sighting of the moon.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

Salam Alaikum,

Sorry for the late reply! thank you so much for remembering me. Alhamdulliah I have kept myself busy since when I wrote this post! I'm so grateful for everyone here helping me and giving me the motivation. I'm going to fast in the month of rajab inshallah, looking forward to it :) 

M3 Salamah 

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On 7 March 2017 at 7:07 PM, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum.

This is great news. Alhamd'Allah dear sister.  Keep moving strong habibti, God bless you.  

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

Thanks so much hayati❤️❤️❤️❤️

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