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In the Name of God بسم الله

Why am I like this?

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hayaah

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Salam everyone, 

My soul has been very restless for the past few years now. I never feel at peace. There's a constant painful and empty feeling in my heart that just won't go away. I have tried many ways to get rid of this feeling by:  praying, reading the quran, communicating with god, socialising with my family more, and do other things to distract my self I.e watch tv shows or read islamic books.....but it never works. That feeling always lingers. Also,  My brain thinks too deeply about everything. I always overthink things , but I cant help it. It just happens. And when it does, I always end up feeling depressed and unhappy because of my thoughts. I dont know how to stop overthinking or how to get rid of this 'restlesness'. 

Anyone else ever felt/feels like this? 

 

 

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Studies/ grades alone doesn't determine whether a person is intelligent or not  : ) . Philosophical people are very intelligent and sagacious , not being able to screen out unnecessary stimuli, over analyzing and over thinking everything, being able to see through fake and shallow people surely take toll. 

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This shows one thing that you should try to understand the system. When you try to find the reallity then your all of above mentioned problems will be solved. Quran prayers help but i recommend just one thing more recite daily sura yasin and gift it to the master of time you will get the results very soon. Deep thinking is a blessing if it is in the right direction. Try to think about the creator and the system. Prayers for you. 

 

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Sister the greatest gift God has given us is our ability to bear without breaking and this ability comes with hope . Vicissitudes make me depressed most of the times as well . Whenever I feel like this , I just open Bhagvad-geeta and its soothing verses fill my heart and mind with patience and calmness . Let me share some of them 

 

 The non-permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.

Reference: Bhagavad Gita 2.14


 
"For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends ; but for one who has failed to do so , his mind will remain the greatest enemy." 

Bhagvad-Gita 6:6
 
The true yogis, uniting their consciousness with God, see with equal eye, all living beings in God and God in all living beings.

Reference : Bhagavad Gita Chapter 6, Verse 29
 
 
 
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Just be confident in yourself. Be more optimistic about things. Think of things that make you stand out from others, it can be skills, personality, something which you take pride in when it comes to being different or unique. Yet at the same time which gives you confidence and changes your mindset. Do this in addition to what you've listed. Think of what makes you feel uneasy or restless or why you are never in peace. There can be a lot of reasons why from peer pressure, to societal standards, to stress in a work place, but you have to try and find the positives and brainstorm to come up with ways change the trajectory.

Here is a beautiful quote by Imam Ali(AS)

"Your sickness is from you, but you do not perceive it and your remedy is within you, but you do not sense it. You presume you are a small entity, but within you is enfolded the entire Universe. You are indeed the evident book, by whose alphabet’s the hidden becomes manifest. Therefore you have no need to look beyond yourself. What you seek is within you, if only you reflect.-Imam Ali (AS)

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Hayaah I can't seem to find this beautiful saying in Nahjul Balagha where the Imam gives 'in-depth thinking' a rank above knowledge. There are many traditions which observe the importance of reflection and thought from Quran, Hadith and Aimmah (as). Therefore, generally, it can't be that bad, right? I find myself at times in deep thought too and sometimes it can have a negative impact but that's usually when things aren't going to plan or the desired reality is difficult/impossible to achieve (personally). There is something that works for me (when im not being lazy). Set yourself challenges whereby you assign strengths to weaknesses. For instance, if you feel you could do with some fitness, don't think about it, make it happen. The results are always extremely satisfying. Look for any type of deficiencies which are loudly adverse to your desired needs and turn them around. Trust me, our deficiencies are immeasurable hence there is always room for improvement and through these improvements you can set aside restlessness. 

lol i just read what I wrote - the hypocrisy! :censored: I'm a lazy bugger and could do with some kick-starting myself. But it's nice to find people in the same boat as long as that boat intends to smash through waves.

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32 minutes ago, Qa'im said:

I have the same issue, and my recommendation is to get involved with a mundane physical activity - exercising, sports, painting, handy work, knitting, martial arts, archery, even gaming. Our current lifestyle involves too much sitting, too many screens, an over-reliance on brain power, and a lack of hands-on work, which satisfies other parts of the brain. They also provide a good distraction from the social noise.

I am working on my legs for martial arts want to get splits :D

@hayaah

I am also an over-thinker. What do you over-think mostly ? I have some experience of over-thinking and has got some of my rules over it. Tell me what are your problems and may be something good come from me that may help you. 

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1 hour ago, hayaah said:

Salam everyone, 

My soul has been very restless for the past few years now. I never feel at peace. There's a constant painful and empty feeling in my heart that just won't go away. I have tried many ways to get rid of this feeling by:  praying, reading the quran, communicating with god, socialising with my family more, and do other things to distract my self I.e watch tv shows or read islamic books.....but it never works. That feeling always lingers. Also,  My brain thinks too deeply about everything. I always overthink things , but I cant help it. It just happens. And when it does, I always end up feeling depressed and unhappy because of my thoughts. I dont know how to stop overthinking or how to get rid of this 'restlesness'. 

Anyone else ever felt/feels like this? 

 

 

Salam sis,

This helped me, maybe it will help you.
 

 

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@Sindbad05 I overthink anything and everything. But mostly , I get sad at seeing how culture has governed everyones lives till this very day. I want to lead the type of life that our imams and prophets used to lead and I wish everyone else around me would do the same but its not fully possible. Because culture has shaped all of our mindsets into what they are today. And although I have started to change my thinking and my lifestyle , no one else seems to have a problem with the fact that culture is dominating our lives more than religion. Everyone's doing the islamic obligatory acts I.e praying, fasting, hijab etc..however, when it comes to other aspects of life, islam fades into the background and culture seems to be under the spotlight instead. It's all very confusing to me. I love certain bits of my culture, but I wish culture didnt exist. 

 

 

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Physical exertion like brother @Qa'imsuggested is the best solution. 

and if you want to lead your life like prophet(pbuh) and imams(AS) then you'll have to face hardships mostly from people around you. Because no one cares about it anymore and if someone tries to follow the teachings of ahlulbayt(AS) in day to day life s/he has to go through uncessary pain and mockery from people, usually those who are very close.

Don't think for a second that Shaytan will make it easy. If he can't control you he will control the people around you to make your life difficult. It's soo painful when shaytan (la) comes through the people you love the most. That's why i always wish to be around God fearing people. And so far i hardly found any.... Religion is only on our tongues.... when it comes to practice in day to day life... you see materialistic desires dominating everything. 

 

Edited by Struggling_onn
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As you may know I had a very similar problem, I cannot stress how much keeping yourself busy has an effect on getting rid of this feeling. every single day of mine is packed with something where I'm so busy trying to accomplish so much in life in such a constricted amount of time I have no time to think about depression, sadness or whatever negative emotion that is connected with them. 

Overthinking is a natural phenomena when the brain has nothing else to think about it begins to analyse and re-analyse everything. You may not realise this but it is a mechanism of self-reflection and improvement if controlled, if left however alone it leads to despair and depression. Have something you do to stimulate your mind so it focuses on something else rather than past, present and future situations.

If I could wrap up the advice in one sentence I would say:

The brain loves to think so give it something to think about. Your brain is more active when your asleep believe it or not it never stops.

That should give you something to think about (pun intended) :)

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Everyone's advice sounds good  I myself should also apply these things more as well. personally though I find a lot of the time a lot of this stuff is just hard to put into practice that's just me. personally when I hear this it just makes me feel like I'm adding more to my routine. To address the culture thing @hayaah that's bothering you it is a problem I see it a lot as well. What I think to myself to make me feel better though is that I cant rely on these people who live this way to make me happy if I'm not happy with myself. I also keep in mind that if I want it to change I have to be that change very well. It has to be to the point where when people look at me they will say "man I want to be like that guy and do what he does" Like that people will follow that example and drop the unislamic practices they have which was the case with our ahlul bayt(as) when they changed a lot of that backward Arab culture. I think this can work generally speaking.

But everyone's advise is also great as well in fact maybe that's how you can put all this into practice..

Edited by Al Hadi
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4 hours ago, hayaah said:

Salam everyone, 

My soul has been very restless for the past few years now. I never feel at peace. There's a constant painful and empty feeling in my heart that just won't go away. I have tried many ways to get rid of this feeling by:  praying, reading the quran, communicating with god, socialising with my family more, and do other things to distract my self I.e watch tv shows or read islamic books.....but it never works. That feeling always lingers. Also,  My brain thinks too deeply about everything. I always overthink things , but I cant help it. It just happens. And when it does, I always end up feeling depressed and unhappy because of my thoughts. I dont know how to stop overthinking or how to get rid of this 'restlesness'. 

Anyone else ever felt/feels like this? 

 

 

Yes then went to ziyarat for the first time.  Felt a peacefulness in my heart.  

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@hayaah This is how i felt before i discovered islam, my soul was always agitated, It was impossible for me to ever doubt the truth of what was then presented to my mind, suddenly i felt in peace for the very first time in my life. Truth was unveiled, and i realized how futile it was to seek happiness in the old reality that i used to live. Happiness for me isnt a feeling its a lifestyle. After some period of time i stopped feeling this constant boredom over worldly matters but i started to feel bored of this life and this world how I'm going to live all these long years...

This is the test itself. This life is boring, we only live waiting for tomorrow to come. Remember that in the end Everything is temperory and only the strong ones who have a strong faith can survive this bittersweet reality.

Edited by yasahebalzaman.313
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5 hours ago, Qa'im said:

...my recommendation is to get involved with a mundane physical activity - exercising, sports, painting, handy work, knitting, martial arts, archery, even gaming.

+1 I can recommend origami.

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Try to achieve a goal whether it's about religion or not. For example: make a goal that by the end of this month you'll be able to learn a few new phrases in a new language, or that you'll memorise a surah in the Qur'an and decipher its tafsir. Once you have a goal you can build up from there and hopefully the restlessness will subside because you're occupying yourself with more important things. 

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It's good that there are other people with same problems. I was like that before. I did two things: 1. Praying at PRIME TIME (Fajr,Zohr,Asr,Maghrib,Isha)         2. Stop doing sin (any kind of sin)

There are other things too. If you do just these two things, then you will find the peace you are looking for. I hope you will find the solution to your issue.

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13 hours ago, hayaah said:

@Sindbad05 I overthink anything and everything. But mostly , I get sad at seeing how culture has governed everyones lives till this very day. I want to lead the type of life that our imams and prophets used to lead and I wish everyone else around me would do the same but its not fully possible. Because culture has shaped all of our mindsets into what they are today. And although I have started to change my thinking and my lifestyle , no one else seems to have a problem with the fact that culture is dominating our lives more than religion. Everyone's doing the islamic obligatory acts I.e praying, fasting, hijab etc..however, when it comes to other aspects of life, islam fades into the background and culture seems to be under the spotlight instead. It's all very confusing to me. I love certain bits of my culture, but I wish culture didnt exist. 

Culture was always governing masses, sometimes culture of ignorance, sometimes culture of oppression and sometimes culture of denying rights to others. It is due to this that Prophets and Imams had to struggle so much against such cultures. Every person has gone through same circumstance in the past and our life is not different. There is always an opportunity to bring goodness to the world. A best person is one who knows ways to make use of his abilities. Momin or Momina does not get tired or disappointed if one opportunity is lost, he or she will find another way. It is due to this that some among our masomeen or a saint has said that a Momin flows against the flow of the era and that mean era of oppression. In Quran there are numerous examples, Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì has shown us about people who changed their ways of dealing with the situations overtime. Sometimes, they flowed with culture only to point out to the world the mistakes of culture such as when Ibrahim a.s broke the idols and told them that it was bigger statue that broke all small ones and the people were made to realize that statues cannot do any harm or good. Always search for an opportunity. 

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@hayaah 

It might just be what is poetically called the "inevitable loneliness of youth." All of us go through this phase. You will grow out of it God-willing.

Give yourself some time. If it goes away by engaging in activities people have suggested, then it's nothing. However if it stays then you have a reason to worry and do something about it.

Cautuon: this is layman's advice. I'm no expert.

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18 hours ago, hayaah said:

@Chewing Gum I wish I was intelligent, or liked studying but I dont. Im a very average student. I just think about life too much. (In other words - I think more philosophically than academically)

Don't particularly worry about this. Most people are average.

One of the boys l grew up with, no matter how hard he studied, he never was more than a C student.

He found his niche in college, accounting, and had one of the five best careers of our class.

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