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In the Name of God بسم الله
sara heideri

father possibly beating/killing me

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On 1/10/2017 at 5:24 PM, sara heideri said:

assalamo alikum

so my father has anger issues, and im not good at school at all about to get my report card, last time hed spit on his face and swore that he wuld kill me this time if i get bad grades again, and if he didnt kill me then i culd spit on his face, so my grades r rly bad and im thinking about running away or comittinh suicide , bc im rlly scared. Pls make as much dua as u can for me N my family. I rlly am scared , is there any duas i culd recite or any quran surahs that could prevent my father from getting angry? Pls anwser as fast as possible.

May Allah bless you. Its the mentality. i was a victum too, even though i didn't live in Pakistan. It has effected my life negatively so much so that i don't think I can develop normal relationships. I am working on it and I am getting there. Please pray for me and all those that suffer jazakallah 

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On 1/31/2017 at 2:04 PM, sara heideri said:

Im not from or in Pakistan but i know women are not able to stand  for themselves because of various reasons in many countries and that sucks!

If you don't mind me asking where are you currently? And I can't seriously believe some of the responses here, IRREGARDLESS of whether she is putting an effort to study or not how can you ask about why she not getting good grades etc when she has come in fear of her life and well being? Bad grades or studying habits doesn't give anyone the right to beat her (strict discipline, grounding, taking away of her pleasures such as hanging out with friends or parties etc until her grades improve yes, but no grounds for physical assault). 

It is a very unfortunate thing many parents do, and if anything this only further makes them bad in their study habits because every time they will study or write a test they will have a huge anxiety and fear about the possible beating they will get and will mess up the test/exams even more. Yes it's very important to be strict with kids in their education but not upto a point where you become a jahil. Be firm and influence kids in every way to succeed in their studies in a NON-abusive way (and I mean BOTH physical and verbal), and if they don't they will only have themselves to blame if they have limited career opportunities when they grow up. 

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On 12/19/2018 at 6:03 PM, Laayla said:

@sara heideri

Assalam Alikum Sister

I hope you are well and in good health.

What ended up happening between you and your father?

Did anything change sister?

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah

Walaikum as salam,

Unfortunately nothing has changed and this still goes on.

I am too scared to do anything about it.

 

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On 12/20/2018 at 1:26 PM, Kirmani said:

If you don't mind me asking where are you currently? And I can't seriously believe some of the responses here, IRREGARDLESS of whether she is putting an effort to study or not how can you ask about why she not getting good grades etc when she has come in fear of her life and well being? Bad grades or studying habits doesn't give anyone the right to beat her (strict discipline, grounding, taking away of her pleasures such as hanging out with friends or parties etc until her grades improve yes, but no grounds for physical assault). 

It is a very unfortunate thing many parents do, and if anything this only further makes them bad in their study habits because every time they will study or write a test they will have a huge anxiety and fear about the possible beating they will get and will mess up the test/exams even more. Yes it's very important to be strict with kids in their education but not upto a point where you become a jahil. Be firm and influence kids in every way to succeed in their studies in a NON-abusive way (and I mean BOTH physical and verbal), and if they don't they will only have themselves to blame if they have limited career opportunities when they grow up. 

I'm still living at home,

I agree with what you're saying. 

Whenever I study my mind is more on that than what I'm actual studying.

I have grown really bad anxiety when it comes to school, 

everyday on my way to school, I get really nauseous and stressed out, despite not having any tests.

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