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In the Name of God بسم الله
Kay Sb

An Iddah question regarding Mut'ah

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Assalam w aleykum 

So this is my situation. There is this Christian woman who has accepted to perform Mut'ah with me. She's an adult, and is economically independent. And before my request, she's was the type to just normally date and have relations with guys, without marriage. Because that's what most non Muslim people do in this day and age, and consider normal. 

Only matter I'm not sure of about the whole thing, is the Iddah. At first, I told her that there should be a 40 days waiting period since her last sexual act, which she's also agreed to. But now, after reading a few websites and forums here and there, I'm not sure if it's the correct way anymore. 

Some people said that it's supposed to be 45 days, some say 2 months (60 days), some say that there isn't an Iddah as the previous relation was outside of marriage. And every ruling website or book I read, they only talk about about the Iddah after a marriage or a death, and nothing about people who have/had sex outside of marriage. I even tried sending an email to my marjaa website, but it either doesn't work or they don't answer... A lot of help they are. 

I follow the Fadlallah (Lebanon) school of thought by the way. If it's relevant for your answers. 

And on a small side rambling note, I do find ridiculous that they call Islam the religion of all ages, but most of the scholars rulings are still in a middle age context. Like I said, they tell you how to have relationships or Iddah, in accordance to marriage and deaths, as if it's still the 1400s. But ask about how to have relationships in 2017,  where 90% of the world have unlawful sex, and some people don't live in an Islamic or Muslim state, and no one has a straight answer to give you. Ridiculous... 

 

Anywhooo... So how long is our Iddah supposed to be? 

Sorry for the long text :P

Edited by Kay Sb

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Also, for those of you who disagree with Mut'ah, and feel the need to trash talk it or me... You're not welcomed here. 

Either leave, or respectfully request to debate it with me. If not, I shall totally ignore you. 

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12 minutes ago, momo_113 said:

What do you mean with Iddah? Time?

I know that the time can be 1 hour till how old you are.

I would tell her for 1 month or something like that otherwise u can stop it everytime u like.

 

I mean the waiting time between her last sexual act, and the next one. 

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1 minute ago, Kay Sb said:

I mean the waiting time between her last sexual act, and the next one. 

Condition for a women who sells her body for money is different then normal women. As you mentioned she was dating with others normally and make relations without marriage which is somehow consider in same category. So her condition is changed. If i am not wrong it's " Makrooh " to do marriage with her whether Mutah or Permanent. And even if you insist then too she have to go for apology that she will never get involved in that such act ever.  And her Iddah is 2 mensuration cycle as per Ayatollah Sistani.

I hope you understand these all situations. Mutah doesn't means we are allowed to choose any women. Sorry mutah is a relaxation but not freedom to manipulate things.

Second most important as you mentioned on that basis i am also mentioning. Islam is very modern religion but conservative people's approach is not allowing them to think broadly. And that is why they think its still living in 1400 years old century.

 

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23 hours ago, Kay Sb said:

I do find ridiculous that they call Islam the religion of all ages, but most of the scholars rulings are still in a middle age context. Like I said, they tell you how to have relationships or Iddah, in accordance to marriage and deaths, as if it's still the 1400s. But ask about how to have relationships in 2017,  where 90% of the world have unlawful sex

Why is Islam not a religion of all ages? If God knew people would be having sex to the extent that they would be putting themselves in danger, Mutta would have not existed today and would have been forbidden after the prophet's time.

Because God knows people are like this, he gave us a solution, which is temporary marriage. 

Based on what I know from Sistani, you don't have to wait because her previous relationships were not lawful, as you said. I have also heard that only Muslim women have a waiting period, not Christians or Jews.

You also have to look as to why you have to wait. Maybe she's currently pregnant and won't find out until after you two sleep together? Then what? I once saw a really good thread on this site (forget where) which discussed how even if she took a pregnancy test none give you an answer like her period (example, a pregnant woman can still have her next cycle but not the one after that.)

Also I read that it is not your job to ask if she is observing her waiting time or not. That is not your concern or care (unless she is KNOWN by many for sleeping with multiple men at the same time, she should be avoided). To avoid a pregnancy scare, again, simply wait.

Will look up what Fadala says about this now.

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23 hours ago, alirex said:

And her Iddah is 2 mensuration cycle as per Ayatollah Sistani.

Based on what I had asked him by email, he said any marriage or sexual act which is not legal in Shariaa law is haram and, in simple terms "does not count". There is no waiting time. 

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As per Fadlala:

" we do not encourage the Muslim to marry a non-Muslim woman due to the negative effects – in most cases – on the Islamic atmosphere of the family and the children in the future. "

Also, " Its Iddat finishes in two menstrual periods.  "

 

Q: If a Muslim woman marries a Christian, the marriage contact is not valid. But should she observe idda (a period of time before she could remarry).

A: No, because if she knew that such a marriage is unlawful she would be committing adultery and an adulteresses should not observe udda.

But if she did not know, she would have to observe the usual Udda.

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I didn't mean to give off the feeling that I disagree with Islam being the religion of all times. Sorry for the misunderstanding. What I was trying  to say is that, everybody says that it's for all ages, but still mostly judge and think as if it was the old ages. 

And I absolutely agree that mut'ah being a clear proof that it's even more valid in this age, than it was in the old ones. 

Thanks for the answer :)

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4 hours ago, j.angel said:

Based on what I had asked him by email, he said any marriage or sexual act which is not legal in Shariaa law is haram and, in simple terms "does not count". There is no waiting time. 

My answer is based on condition if you read again.

You already gave him the answer , so its ok.

Edited by alirex

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On 07/01/2017 at 4:54 PM, j.angel said:

Would like to hear how you convinced her to marry you without her freaking out

She didn't mind at all. And barely thought anything of it. Her answer was pretty much a "yeah whatever" :P

I find mut'ah way easier to explain to Christians, than to Muslims most of the time. They (Christians) either don't care, or just see it for what it is, something relevant to my faith, and harmless to hers. 

And now that I think about it, I've only heard Muslims (or Arabs if I wanna broaden it) call mut'ah things like prostitution. Non Muslims will either respect that belief of yours, or just not care. 

Edited by Kay Sb

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