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In the Name of God بسم الله

Half Sunni Marriage Problem

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lobi

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Salamualaykom,

 

Let me preface this by saying that I have been raised Shia for the past 25 years of my life and regularly attend ashura and all other Shia functions. I give money regularly to the mosque and help out with social/charity events. I am a neurosurgeon and Allah has rewarded my decades of hard work with much success and a great income/house and I have been able to look after my mother. My father is Sunni but since my parents got divorced I was raised Shia with my five brothers, however in the Australia Shia community there is still a "stigma" attached to being even partially Sunni.

I met this incredible girl and we would meet up for coffee and so forth, she came from a pretty bad household full of abuse so she was glad of the opportunity just to have someone to talk to. Her brother in laws had ruined her previous relationships by interfering too much, but I hoped that given my respectable job, my charitable work and the fact that I am a diligent Muslim, they would see otherwise. I met her super religious mom who was initially very happy with the fact that I wanted to marry her daughter. But after they found out I was half Sunni, they forbade me from ever seeing her again, threatening my family with attacks and spreading the word that I was a "Sunni", a "Kafir" and a "Jew". Nobody in the community would help whatsoever and her mom told me she would rather give her daughter to a drug dealer over me as long as the guy was Shia.

I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. I love her so much but I don't know what religious recourse I have. 

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This is a very tough situation and I really feel for you. Her mother's stance is very ridiculous. I would advise if you could speak to some shia scholar and get him to approach some of her family members on your behalf and speak good of you. The daughter (this lady) must also stand strong if this is to succeed. 

The only other thing I can say is stay strong and pray to Allah about this situation brother. Perhaps other members on here will have better advice than what I can give. 

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The mother needs some major neuro surgery, perform that first, then go for a heart surgery yourself.

Aside of this, ask yourself what is that you love about this girl...

lol drug dealer... they say be careful what you wish for ...

Last not least there is no such thing as Shia community, it is just a community of people who lack proper thinking.

Probably shias of their own ignorance, but definitely not Shia of Ali.

This is a hadith from Kafi regarding those who call themselves shias:

H 14738  –  And by this chain, from  Muhammad  Bin Suleyman, from Ibrahim Bin Abdullah Al-Sufy from Musa Bin Bakr Al-Wasity who said: Abu Al-Hassan  said to me:

' If I  were to distinguish my Shias, I  would not find them except for the  description (talk). And if I  were to test them, I would not find them except  as APOSTATES. 

And if I were to scrutinize them not even one out of a thousand would escape. And if I  were to screen them with a screening, there would not  remain from them except the one who was for me. 

They have been saying for a long time, leaning upon their couches, ‘We are the Shias of Ali’. But rather, the  Shia of Ali  is the one who truthful in both his actions as well as his words’.

Edited by certainclarity
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Thank you so much brothers, this is a heart-wrenching situation for me given that I love this girl so much, and you have all been so supportive and kind with your advice, I've felt like a fish out of water for so long with nobody to talk to about this. May Allah bless you all for taking the time to reply.

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Just now, lobi said:

this is a heart-wrenching situation for me given that I love this girl so much

Matters of the heart sometimes cause you to forget that the best decisions are always made with emotion and logic held in equal balance.

Its when the heart rules the head that you start seeing disasters and vice versa.

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On 1/5/2017 at 2:14 PM, lobi said:

Salamualaykom,

Don't panic, You're smart, brave and knowledgeable. 
Her family is trying to provoke actions from your side, so they can make a case against you. But since you are clean, You have to keep it that way for now. 

Ask someone elder to speak to her family but I doubt they will listen. 
So you only have one choice - Marry her if she loves you.
And once she is married to you, let the Australian police take care of these people. By International Law and the Australian Law - you two are protected. :) 

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9 hours ago, lobi said:

Thank you so much brothers, this is a heart-wrenching situation for me given that I love this girl so much, and you have all been so supportive and kind with your advice, I've felt like a fish out of water for so long with nobody to talk to about this. May Allah bless you all for taking the time to reply.

Honestly brother, look at you MaShaAllah : a muslim, a shia, a doctor. What sane person would refuse a daughter in wedding to you lol.

Trust Allah just like you trusted Him when He gave you such bounties. He will provide you with more rizq.

Still, since we do not know all the story, the choice remains yours :

- If you feel this is what was destined to you then carry on but be prepared to suffer and endure

- If you feel you do not deserve such injustice, be kind with the girl and put an end to the relationship smoothly and pray for her

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Sorry to have you in this situation my friend, at times our culture and society is embarrassingly backwards when compared with those of other races. 

But I think something within you came out in your favour and you did not end up marrying this girl. There are red flags everywhere, best to avoid such household.

This girl is better off marrying a similar household and a back-and-forth battle be well handled with rather seasoned veterans on either side of red-flagged households instead of it stressing you out in the near future. 

So don't worry, you are a freakin' Neurosurgeon, the hard part is actually done for you, keep you being you.

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