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In the Name of God بسم الله

Culture Vs. Religion

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As a Muslim who was born in [country removed], raised in the US and married to a [ethnicity removed]; I have witnessed struggles in today's Muslim youths, that disturb me. I see too many  teens struggling to keep two identities. One while in the presence of their family and community and a completely different  private one to be shared with people they either don't know and expect never to see again, or with close friends whom are going through the same struggle.  . The main topics of discussions that I have witnessed are 1) Hijab 2) Having Christian friends 3) Social lifestyles 4) Going away to college ( for girls)  

  I think it's high time our religious leaders start to realize we have a real potential for disaster on our hands.It is a universal practice to want to raise our children in the way we see fit.But when you add religion to it, it becomes a more complex, dividing force.  Unfortunately, we fail to realize that our children are being raised in very different circumstances , exposed to much more information and more often than not, too afraid to be honest with their parents about their feelings and fears. We cannot live vicariously through our children, we cannot make our children display a certain behavior." There is no compulsion in Religion" They have free will and thought. The problems  I see are,  lack of communication between kids and parents (why? Because I said so! or " It's Haram " with no proof  ) , the lack of living by example ( screaming at your children to lower their voice) . Putting them in public schools and expecting them not want to fit in. ( this is a big one) The teachings begin at the age of 2, not 14. 

I have some experience with Family Counseling and I can tell you this.... More and more Muslim children are drinking and using drugs, now more than any other time. Main reason for it? Family issues. Listen to your children! Really listen. Don't cut them off with stories about you or your personal views on a matter. It is about what is right and what is wrong... not about what people in the community will say or think. We need to start putting our kids needs first. And please remember one thing.... If they make a mistake, they do it to themselves, NOT TO YOU!!!! Pray they learn from them and guide them to find a solution. Don't judge your children, but try to understand the reasons for the behavior. More often than not, it stems from low self esteem. We the parents are responsible for 80% or more,  of our children growing up with a healthy view of themselves, their God and their surroundings.  Practice what you preach.  

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I couldn't agree any less with what you have said. Parents need to realise that they were born in a time much different to their children where they were not exposed to certain things. Parents nowadays like to act blind and live in a dreamy religious world where their children are in a complete opposite mess. Like I know so many religious parents having kids who have been in harram relationships and drinking alcohol.

 

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4 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

I couldn't agree any less with what you have said. Parents need to realise that they were born in a time much different to their children where they were not exposed to certain things. Parents nowadays like to act blind and live in a dreamy religious world where their children are in a complete opposite mess. Like I know so many religious parents having kids who have been in harram relationships and drinking alcohol.

 

One of these problems is porn addiction. It's horrible. Also something ignored by parents or thought of as just a guy thing it's not. No real guy would want to trade a real woman for fake pixels the problem is again culture youth just say oh our parents won't let us marry till we are 30, 40 if your lucky after your bachelors degree(after going through and witnessing all those parties and college girls etc..) this is a recipe for sin and disaster. Shayton is laughing and basking in the situation our parents have become blind to. Not to mention the many other sins we discussed here like alcohol etc.,

I believe Islam provides solutions to all these problems the problem is people aren't willing to put those solutions into practice. Let kids marry earlier, get to know each other fall in love, talk to your children as the op mentioned, be an example for your kids don't just tell them to be practicing when you aren't really practicing yourselves. All these are brilliant solutions to help the youth with their sins and purify the community which will benefit all of us at the end of the day.

Edited by Al Hadi
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