Am I wrong for admiring her?

[Sinan]

I am 17, and I like a girl who is 17.......me and her were both born on the same day and same month and same year, and we were playmates and friends and classmates in sunday school as children.......we were friends from either when i was 3, 4, or 5 to when I was 9......her parents and my parents were friends, and my parents were married at the time.....I remember warm fuzzy memories of my first feelings of romantic love.....she was the first girl I ever had a crush on.....but I moved when I was 8, and hardly saw her after that......when I was 9 going on 10, we went to a gulenist religious camp together, but because i was advanced in my intellectual abilities they put me in with the older boys rather than the children......the camp was at a hotel, and i tried to be as close to my friend as possible, but I was also going through changes mentally due to puberty and had fantasies about kissing her or dating her, although i later found out this was haram.......and i could not see her that much, no matter how hard i tried.....i finally got a chance to hang out with her at an arcade far off from the hotel at night with her older brothers, but my parents did not let me....at the end of the camp, I told her how I felt about her (despite the fact that my mother did not want me talking to her), and she shouted "ew!" and ran off....a year later, I saw her at a festival, and she smiled at me from afar, next to my sister, who was also smiling.....I had too much ADHD stimulants that day, and I was upset at my rejection, and I had a crush on another girl at the time, and felt that she was smiling because my sister told her my secrets.....so I gave her a dirty look, and walked off...i looked back, and she was still smiling.....but seemed to be a little disappointed, perhaps thinking i did not remember her.....i felt guilty and began to look for her later, but could not find her and before i knew it it was time for my family to go home.....i saw her again at a gulenist camp in the 8th grade, and by that point we were segregated by gender, and i saw her once walking with her friends, and said hi to her, but she did not hear me.....i tried adding her on social media in the 10th grader, but by that time she was all grown and her father did not allow her to talk to boys, even to say hi......i haven't talked to her in years, i haven't seen her in years...and I have no idea what kind of person she is now, but I do know her father..........and her older brother was my mentor in middle school....i told my mother and some family friends i wanted to court her but they said that i dont know her and should not have feelings for her because i do not know if she is the same person.....except for one family friend, who said that although i did not know her character, she still said it could happen...am i wrong for feeling this way when I dont know this girl, or anything about her?

[sidnaq]

i dont want you to get hurt bro, why dont you stay in touch with th family and when you get older ,get a degree job, then meet her for the sake of seeing if you could marry her?

[alirex]

2 hours ago, sidnaq said:

i dont want you to get hurt bro, why dont you stay in touch with th family and when you get older ,get a degree job, then meet her for the sake of seeing if you could marry her?

She is 17 and he is 17 .. I don't think he can get her,  till he reach job and make himself ready for marriage. If girl was 4-5 year younger then the chance was there.

[sidnaq]

7 minutes ago, alirex said:

She is 17 and he is 17 .. I don't think he can get her,  till he reach job and make himself ready for marriage. If girl was 4-5 year younger then the chance was there.

JazakAllah bro that is what i said.when he is older has job of course. Thanks

[alirex]

17 minutes ago, sidnaq said:

JazakAllah bro that is what i said.when he is older has job of course. Thanks

No , you are not getting me. I said when he will reach at the age of marriage and stability in his life .. Girl will become enough old and may be possible she will get married before that age. So best is boy either forget her or clear his desire to her parents.

[Soldiers and Saffron]

Judging from all your posts, I would say you are too emotional.

Be careful with these kinds of stuff because it can shift your focus too much to dunya, make you forget whats next, make you forget why you exist. That would be a bad thing.

[Muslimthought97]

2 hours ago, IbnSina said:

Judging from all your posts, I would say you are too emotional.

Be careful with these kinds of stuff because it can shift your focus too much to dunya, make you forget whats next, make you forget why you exist. That would be a bad thing.

I have to agree with Ibn Sina and I want to say something else, Im 19 almost 20 now and I think as many others probably would have has loads and loads of crushes on people it just simple happens, you find when you no longer see them and meet new people they just simply fade away, no resistance or anything, and then you kind of laugh back at the times when you felt so attached. Its literally just hormones, as a 17 year old its bound to happen. Insha'Allah keep following the right path and you will find your mentality will soon change and you grow out of it with little resistance, I wanted to be married at that age and now I would refuse until I finish university and acquire a stable job, it just comes with time and I hope you recieve what is best for you.

Edited November 20, 2016 by HayderM

[guest120116a]

I've had lots of crushes in the past and everytime I got one , thats all I would think about. everytime I thought it was true love -  it actually wasnt,  because I would soon get over him and start liking someone else even more than my last crush. but they all faded with time, and it still happens to this very day. but I've realised that its all just a phase that will go away, just like the others have. so I dont take any of my temporary crushes seriously now. you should try and do the same.  

p.s -  Time is a great healer when it comes to brokenhearts. 

 

Edited November 20, 2016 by sukayna ali
spelling mistake

[King]

Your parents are quite right about the fact that she is basically as alien to you as some next girl in your neighbourhood.  You have some feelings associated with her due to childhood interactions but they are just that.  Beyond all that you need to deal with her like you would any other random muslim girl you could potentially be interested in.