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In the Name of God بسم الله

Marriage to older Muslimah.....

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I am 17 right now, and when I am in college, or after college, I want to marry a sister in the community who is 2 years older than me....she is in her 2nd year of college right now....my problem though is, i want to get a 4 year degree, so i wont be making much money for another 4-5 years, and by that time she'll have already found herself a husband older than me.....perhaps even older than her......also, she sees me as a little brother.....and I know that in Islam men are supposed to be the providers for women.....and my parents are unlikely to support me and her if we ever get married, as are her parents......that's how it is in the gulen movement community, couples are expected to provide for themselves if they want to get married.....what should i do? get an associate's degree so ill be making money faster? get a scholarship for college, and work 40 hours a week at a job, and 20 hours a week at school? anything else?

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Just now, Sinan said:

but what if her parents don't let her befriend boys or talk to them casually? knowing them, they probably don't.

Use the proper channels! Be bold, man. If you have a way to find out if she is interested (cousin, brother, mutual acquaintance) ask them to ask what she thinks. Otherwise you're just going to have to ask her parents. 

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6 minutes ago, Sinan said:

but what if her parents don't let her befriend boys or talk to them casually? knowing them, they probably don't.

Then how else do you intend to go about this? 

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Just now, starlight said:

Then how else do you intend to go about this? 

ask her parents for her hand in marriage, work part time or full time while going to college after getting a scholarship, and be married to her while being poor temporarily, or while she supports herself and I, until I can finish my degree and get a better job......

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6 hours ago, Sinan said:

I am 17 right now, and when I am in college, or after college, I want to marry a sister in the community who is 2 years older than me....she is in her 2nd year of college right now....my problem though is, i want to get a 4 year degree, so i wont be making much money for another 4-5 years, and by that time she'll have already found herself a husband older than me.....perhaps even older than her......also, she sees me as a little brother.....and I know that in Islam men are supposed to be the providers for women.....and my parents are unlikely to support me and her if we ever get married, as are her parents......that's how it is in the gulen movement community, couples are expected to provide for themselves if they want to get married.....what should i do? get an associate's degree so ill be making money faster? get a scholarship for college, and work 40 hours a week at a job, and 20 hours a week at school? anything else?

Puppy love :cuddle:

Have you every talked to her? Why are you calling her sister? Do you know her or her family? 

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56 minutes ago, DigitalUmmah said:

He could use my technique? Go to wherever she is, stand a few metres from her, remain standing still and stare at her silently?

Yet to work but I am hopeful

you stalker lol thats so creepy hahaahahahaha

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2 hours ago, DigitalUmmah said:

Go to wherever she is, stand a few metres from her, remain standing still and stare at her silently?

I used to do that in high school, the wheelchair helped - Nobody questioned me too much. 

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Don't use such ideas plz what if she notice u and feel irritated 

Like most of the girls dosnt like such thing and being a girl am sure about this 

Go straight to her and talk to her in spite to spy or stalk her 

Try to get some job which can let u study as well and give it a chance

 

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10 minutes ago, Sinan said:

Too late. I already told her grandfather, whom I trust and see as a mentor, and he wasn't mad, but informed me that she tries to get away from me whenever she sees me, and doesn't like me one bit.

Its ohk 

Surely god has saved someone who is best for u 

I.a ull get her when ri8time comes

Anyway focus on ur ambition all d best may Allah Bless u 

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