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In the Name of God بسم الله
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MuslimahAK

love in marriage and children

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Salamu Alaikum!

I have heard from many Muslims that it is better to have an arranged marriage to is strictly business. That personal love in marriage is very disliked because it takes away from Tawhid, it takes one away from Allah.

The same is said for children. Its not good to have lots of personal love for kidz and play with them because they take one away from Allah.

I would love hear others input on this one.

Salamu Alaikum!

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Arranged marriage or arrange your own (aka "love") marriage is a cultural tradition. Each has its benefits and drawbacks. Islam doesn't specify one or the other, but the father must approve a daughter's first marriage. If she becomes widowed or divorced she would no longer need her father's permission to marry, but it might be a good idea anyway, just to keep good family relations.

As for children, no. That is completely unislamic. Love your children. Love them beyond measure. Spend time with them as much as you are able. Teaching and playing with them are wajib. Just don't place them higher than God.

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You have mentioned 2 different things:

1- The love before marriage would prevent boy/girl to see many facts. It might lead to a successful marriage, but it is also able to turn to the divorce. But when it is arranged they can compare their values and their plan for life and many other things.

2- But the love after marriage between man and woman and toward children should be on the highest possible level.

Zahra (sa) the daughter of Muhammad (pbuh) said: The most valuable men are those who are kind and generous to their wives.

Rasul Al-Allah Muhammad (pbuh) said: The best of you is the one who treats his wife in the best manner.

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: A woman would not forget his husband's saying: I love you.

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: Kiss your children as much as you can for Allah will ascend you in the heaven for each kiss.

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4 hours ago, MuslimahAK said:

The personal love that I was referring to was for a man and woman who are married to have personal love afterwards? This is not allowed? It is to be only business?

Thank you for the help.

Oh good grief no! Your spouse is likened to a garment in the Quran. What is closer to you than your own garment? Spouses must love each other! Just don't set your spouse higher than God. 

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