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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Salaam!

I am a convert of 3 years (Alhumdililah) and am almost done my second week of wearing hijab☺️☺️ However... I am of European decent (one that doesn't have many Muslims) so my family does not know how to take it. SubhanAllah, My grandparents have officially stopped speaking to me and my mother was weird for a few days. I did kind of spring it up out of nowhere with no warning but it wasn't planned like that. I felt like I kept getting signs and that I had to wear it ASAP(a lot more in depth than you may think) . Anyways my mother told me she hates to see me in it and asked me why I wear it because she says she knows many Muslim women who don't wear it and was frustrated that I decided to wear it; Due to her anger and frustration I felt it was not the right time to try and explain because no matter what I would say, she would have a hard time comprehending than if she were calm..(keep in mind my mother does NOT believed God..) So how can you explain your relationship with God with someone who doesn't believe he exists? My mom thinks I have gone crazy and am an extremist or something because I'm wearing a hijab, which is silly because I am still the same person, just covered! 

I would like to sit her down when she's calm (InshaAllah) and give her solid concrete proof from the Quran as well as explain it a little more in depth with her, then give her my reasoning for wearing hijab. However I feel no matter what I say she will try to justify that hijab is not the answer; however in my heart I know it is... HELP :(

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Salam Alekum, 

First, you need to pick an approach that fits with her temperament and personality. The main thing, with parents, is that you pick an approach that is respectful to her and doesn't hurt her feelings (well, ok, her feelings are already hurt but don't pick an approach that will make this worse). Since I am a revert myself and in contact with others who have had to go thru this, here are some different ways

1) Try to keep the discussion to a minimum, just make some general statements like, 'I feel like it's the right thing to do' or 'I believe it will make me a better person'. At the same time, try to demonstrate how you becoming a muslima and wearing hijab can benefit her. For example, be kind to her, help her with things she needs help with, get her gifts, even small gifts if you can afford it, etc. Show her in practical ways that you have become a better person and a more decent human being. 

2) If she is an intellectual person and needs and intellectual discussion and a rationalization then I would recommend a book for you,

 https://www.al-islam.org/revealer-messenger-message-sayyid-muhammad-baqir-al-sadr

Also, the group that I am part of Migration313, we did a video series based on this book. 

Part 1, 2, 3

Then have a discussion around the points made by the author with her. This is a start. If you need more sources, I can get for you. 

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1 hour ago, euromuslimah said:

I would like to sit her down when she's calm (InshaAllah) and give her solid concrete proof from the Quran as well as explain it a little more in depth with her, then give her my reasoning for wearing hijab. However I feel no matter what I say she will try to justify that hijab is not the answer; however in my heart I know it is... HELP :(

Salam sister,

I know what you're going through as my parents can be weird about my hijab at times too. I think communication is really important, try to talk to your mum like you planned, even if you don't think she'll understand, at least you have made an effort.

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I've been Muslim for 12 years and my mother still hates hijab. She makes the same points about knowing Muslims who don't wear it. Strangely, she doesn't seem the least bit worried about me being Muslim, only about people seeing me being Muslim. In time it gets better. It just takes a while to get used to change.

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Salam, i dont have any super advice, show patience with the situation and with her and InshaAllah things will get better in time, your in our duas!

Edit: ahhh just noticed this is in the sisters subforum, apologizes!

Edited by IbnSina

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