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14 hours ago, Three-One-Three said:

 

 

If I found a Shia Muslim youth who was in his junior year of college, and he wasn't permanently married, and he hadn't ever done mut'ah in his life either, I think I can be reasonable in my assumption that this guy has been masturbating (committing haram). Of course, Islamically, I shouldn't assume negative things about a fellow Muslim brother, but from a secular/realistic/statistic perspective, such an assumption would not be irrational.

Lol I agree with this I have seen many cases like this.

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10 hours ago, notme said:

Why do men think divorced or older women want this "important social service"? 

 

It is ideal for divorced and widows because once they're sexually active it is very hard to practice abstinence, men and women both. Women won't necessarily come out and say "oh, we want to do muta" again for all the reasons mentioned above.

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23 minutes ago, Mushkil Kusha said:

It is ideal for divorced and widows because once they're sexually active it is very hard to practice abstinence, men and women both. Women won't necessarily come out and say "oh, we want to do muta" again for all the reasons mentioned above.

Don't you think it would be better to permanently marry, even for widows and divorcees? I can't speak for others, but I'm an old divorced (and remarried) woman, and I definitely prefer the stability of permanent marriage. Physical intimacy in marriage is great, but why would any woman want that with a man who has no intention of sticking around? Kind of revolting if you ask me.

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15 minutes ago, notme said:

Don't you think it would be better to permanently marry, even for widows and divorcees? I can't speak for others, but I'm an old divorced (and remarried) woman, and I definitely prefer the stability of permanent marriage. Physical intimacy in marriage is great, but why would any woman want that with a man who has no intention of sticking around? Kind of revolting if you ask me.

The person could stay you could use mutah to date in a way. Also you don't have to do it if you find it revolting but doesn't mean everyone looks at it the same way I personally don't think its a bad idea.

Edited by Al Hadi

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19 minutes ago, notme said:

Don't you think it would be better to permanently marry, even for widows and divorcees? I can't speak for others, but I'm an old divorced (and remarried) woman, and I definitely prefer the stability of permanent marriage. Physical intimacy in marriage is great, but why would any woman want that with a man who has no intention of sticking around? Kind of revolting if you ask me.

Of course, for someone who is looking for stability, shared responsibility and all the wonderful things that comes with permanent marriage should not go that route. However not everyone is looking for that and it may not be feasible for a lot of divorcees or widows, then only it would (in my opinion) be ideal. I understand we humans want commitment naturally, but that is why it is important for two independent adults to understand Muta completely before getting into the contract. If one feels that the other party has not intention of sticking around, just don't do it. No ones likes to be "used"

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The institution is available to use if people want to use it or not, if they feel they need it and can handle it. Simple as that. Other opinions and biases of people or semi-backward cultures are irrelevant. 

The only room these cultures belong in is the kitchen.

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On 22 October 2016 at 10:20 PM, Crimson said:

As a guy who probably has a higher sex drive than most people I can assure you that it is more than possible to deal with this test. This is a test. It is a difficult test but it is still a test and if it was impossible to deal with until marriage then this test will not occur on the scale that it does. It's all about mentality and how you use that energy. I was like you at first and though it was impossible to not relieve myslef for the next 10 years or so but it is actually very possible.

I agree that its fairly possible to control the urges. But its not much of a test. Its more like shooting yourself in the foot. I know it sounds noble and all being able to control your sexual urges but there really isn't any point to do that. Why would anyone put themselves through the unnecessary inconvenience when theres an alternative available. 

Its important to recognise the fact that it was our religion that introduced Muta and encouraged it in the first place. It was because Allah knows the importance of fulfilling sexual desires instead of trying to control them. If sexuality was to be a test, the Allah wouldn't have given us Muta. 

Another important fact to recognise is that Muta isn't a Makru act(with the exception of doing it with a virgin). With this in mind, it is beyond all comprehension why everyone is so bent to avoid it altogether, knowing its permissibility, and sexually deprive themselves.

If controlling sexual urges was superior and more beneficial than relieving them through Muta, then the Prophet wouldn't have told the married men with him to engage in Muta instead of abstaining or castrating themselves. 

 

Its worth noting that many people suggest the youths to try to get permanently married instead of practicing Muta, and that it is better to wait and get permanently married, instead of doing Muta which would be undesirable. What is very interesting is that the Prophet told the people with him, who were already permanently married to practice Muta. They already had permanent wives at home who would have fulfilled their sexual urges in a few days/weeks when they would return home. But even then, the Prophet insisted that they fulfil their sexual desires instead of delayingthem. It makes clear the importance of fulfilling sexual urges instead of trying to abstain. 

However the most important thing to take away from this is that permanent marriage isn't superior to Muta. If it was then the Prophet would have told the married men with him that they are already in a form of maritial contact which is superior to Muta and that they should abstain and have patience, which of course he didn't do. He instead encouraged them to practice Muta. However what can be said is that fulfilling sexual urges now through lawful means is superior to delaying their fulfilment, regardless of whether if it is through permanent or temporary marriage. But because of the way our society is built, it is possible for girls to fulfil their desires earlier through permanent marriage as opposed to boys who need to wait longer to get permanently married as no one usually married their daughter off to someone still studying. So in order for boys to fulfil their desires as soon they they need to(which I have extensively proven is better than abstaining and patience), temporary marriage is really the only alternative they have.

Having said that, there is another glaring problem at hand. Who will they contract the marriage with when Muta with a virgin just for fulfilling desires is Makru. The answer as mentioned above in one of the comments is the widowed or divorced women. Acknowledging the fact that some women would rather permanently remarry again as apposed to contracting Muta, it is laughable to generalise that all women would wish to do this, or rather have choice to do this. They could either not find someone for permanent marriage and to fulfil their desires, and they too wouldn't mind engaging in a temporary marriage with someone to fulfil their desires rather than delaying it. 

 

The solution is then one which requires the co operation of the whole community, to collectively remove the taboo from the topic of Muta. The next step is to create a platform where those in need of Muta can contact and connect with one another. There are a few out there but they look pretty dodgy and aren't very practical. 

What we need are ideas for such a platform to be created, where it can be accessed by anyone, but at the same time ensuring the anonymity of the users.

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